Weekend Reflections

This past weekend my husband and I went on a weekend get-away to a lovely mountain lake town in Pennsylvania.  We have been there a number of times before.  It is a beautiful place, quiet and harkens back to the days when the pace of life was a little slower. 

The trip is about three and a half hours from home (according to google maps) so it is a nice escape that isn't too far away.  Of course, we who are known for our slow travel, took longer.  This time our slowness can be attributed to our meandering on back roads.  We enjoyed the scenery as we meandered along the Susquehanna River before heading up the mountain.  It was worth the time to see a slice of Americana.   

We stopped at a roadside stand that was beckoning; an overflowing barn nestled in the mountain base.  There were all sorts of concrete statues surrounding the building.  We could have purchased a ten-foot painted chicken ($2,659) or a life-size gorilla ($2,499) but instead settled on two pumpkins and a large guard ($8 total)  It did pique my curiosity- who outside of a mini-golf enterprise would purchase some of these statues?  I discovered my answer a couple of miles down the road. 

We had stopped along the river at a small park so that we could have a picnic lunch.. The "park" was just 2 benches on a very small strip along the road, right on the river bank. We had to park our car across the street in front of some duplex homes and cross the road.    It was as I getting back into the car, that I noticed the fronts of the homes. There, bigger than the house itself, was a life-sized waving hat cowboy astride a bucking bronco.  In addition to "Tex", in their small front garden were all sorts of other concrete creatures; gnomes, pelicans, small boy with a fishing rod.  

Further down the road from there we saw another business.  A small local diner with the enticing marque- "Home Cooking, Mini Mart and Tanning".

It just made us laugh and realize that humans are such interesting creatures.  I think that some days in my busy-ness, I miss the interesting features all around me.  I get too involved and just go through the motions with blinders on.  If I really paid attention, what would I see, hear and experience? 

The weekend trip was a nice time to put aside all the things that weigh on our minds.  The things that have been troubling (which on reflection from this weekend aren't so bad), we can review from a distance.  My personality is that I can get pretty tangled up with lots of thoughts- worries, anxieties, could've-beens, should've-beens, would've-beens.  Getting away allows me to step back and objectively review. 

Getting away also gives me time to decide when I want to do my thinking.  At home I find that I will be so preoccupied that I not only miss out what is going on, but I also feel frazzled that I don't have time to sit and work it out. But when I am away, I can do some reflective thinking, and also have time to enjoy the moments; watching the wind dance across the water on the lake, enjoying the sights and smells of the wooded path surrounding the entire lake, or playing a game of ping-pong after dinner. 

Getting away also allows me to think and plan for the future.  What am I planning on doing in the next couple of months?  What is doable?  What is unrealistic yet I will write it down just to see what happens?  I do a lot of day dreaming and future forecasting when I am away. 

What about you?  Have you been able to get away for some time of reflection and perspective?  Where did you go?  Was it relaxing?  Did you want it to be?  If you did and it wasn't relaxing, what can you do differently the next time?

If a time away is not in the budget, could you plan a reflective weekend at home?  Could you switch houses with a friend or family member?  You stay for the weekend or overnight at their's and visa versa.  What about eating your meals in a different room of your home?  Or sitting in a different chair?  What about trying something different for your evenings: Playing a game?  Reading a book?  Listening to music or a podcast? Going to a local theater or concert hall?  Spending most of the day outside on your patio or porch?  Eating all meals outside?  Camping in your backyard? 

I think all of us need to step back and reflect on our lives- our past, our present and our future. 

When Shadows Fall

Yesterday I noticed a movement on the floor;  a large black entity was creeping closer and closer to me.  As it moved it seemed to spread out and get larger.  If I didn't know any better, I would've been worried that some big black cloud was going to obliterate me.  From where I was sitting I couldn't see exactly what was causing the strange darkness. 

Turns out it was a shadow of a spider.  Sunlight was streaming through the back door and a spider was building a web across the door frame.  As it moved across, it would block a stream of sunlight causing a shadow.  If it moved across that beam of light, the shadow got bigger and bigger. 

From my perspective the shadow/dark spot/spider seemed huge but on closer inspection it was quite small.  

It made me think.

How many times do problems or situations in our lives seem huge.  They seem to creep up on us from no where, getting closer and closer and bigger and bigger.  Before we know it, the problem obliterates everything else.  We can't see clearly. We can't move.  We just huddle in fear in a corner. 

But is the problem really that big? Was it magnified by our perspective?

Once I changed my point of view- moved directly in front of the door- I was able to see things how they really were.  I could see what was the cause of the shadow and why it looked so large and ominous.

When we let things become bigger than they really are, we become powerless and fearful- that which we think is huge will overtake us.  Like the classic past time of making shadow pictures: holding our hands in certain positions in front of a light which can produce a different image than the original. 

Norman Rockwell

I know that some problems in life are huge.  They are constantly pursuing us in the hopes to disarm and destroy us. The problems can be physical, financial, social, spiritual, or emotional. We feel that we are going along in life only to constantly be looking over our shoulder for the next attack.

But I know in my own life, I have made situations worse by not checking out the source of the problem.  It might be a health issue that I have refused to acknowledge or even get more information via testing because I have already determined that what I must have is terrible.  Or, I may write someone off because I felt that what she said or did was offensive to me. 

In all these situations I have seen and allowed something to grow larger in my mind when in actuality the original problem or situation was quite small.   I just see the enlarged shadow.  I don't recognize the person creating it. I allow my perspective of only seeing the shadow, paralyze me.  If I would see my doctor, or get to know the person better, or plan to explore the source of the problem, I might discover that it is just a manipulation of hands or a very small bug.

What about you?  Do you ever feel that something is creeping up on you?  Something larger, scarier with the potential for trouble?  What is the real situation?  Do you need to talk to someone who can give you perspective?  Someone who can say, turn off the light- it is causing the shadows.  Someone who can show their hands and demonstrate  how the shadow/problem was made.  Someone who can make the shadows fall...away.  

Fun

"What do you do for fun?"

Recently I was asked that by a new acquaintance.  The question took me by surprise.  For starters, usually I am the one who asks others loads of questions because I am curious and interested in people.  

One time we were staying at a bed and breakfast.  During the complimentary wine and cheese get-together we were mingling with the other guests.  I was asking this one couple different questions based on their previous responses.  Finally the husband turned to me and asked, "What do you do?  Are you a news reporter?"   He wasn't upset but rather was amazed that someone would ask in-depth questions to get to know another without the ulterior motive of "getting a story". 

So, when this new acquaintance asked my about my fun, I first thought, "That's one of my questions for you".  Then I had to really think about it for myself.

What determines fun?  A fun activity for one might not be that much fun for another.  My sister likes skiing.  I do not.  The thought of choosing to be in the cold weather, hurling down a snowy slope with out any brakes or form of control does not excite me.   I know that there is a "just relax and go with it" attitude but that doesn't happen with me. 

Part of what makes something fun for me is an activity that helps me "get in the zone".  An activity in which time doesn't have any part:  I have no recollection if I am spending ten minutes or ten hours doing the activity. 

I also find things fun that enlighten me or provides physical activity (just as long as I don't have to be too cold and give up control- like skiing!).  It is also enjoyable to complete creative projects, like my recent re-painting of the guest room. 

Recently I just heard someone talking about the word, "amuse".  In Latin, "a" means non or not.  For example, amoral- no morals, complete lack of morals.  "Muse" is to think, to ponder.   So "a" + 
"muse" is to not think.  In the strict sense of the word, to be amused is to not think at all.  To turn off the brain.  Which is what we sometimes want to do when we are entertained via movies, books, or videos.  ( I wasn't thinking Latin etymon when I would get annoyed at our boys that, after watching television, they would seem so dulled. "Huh" would be the common refrain to any question asked after the show.) 

So, for me something that which is fun doesn't have to be amusing.  Although at times it can be. 

What we do for fun can mean, "What do we do outside of our work?"  The implication is that our work isn't fun. Generally most people see work and fun as polar opposites.  Certainly that can be true.  Some work isn't fun although there might be aspects that can be fun.  We can be serious about what we do but still have a sense of fun.

I think the word "play" should be asked when thinking about fun.  Children have a wonderful sense of play even if they are doing a task. This past weekend our next door neighbor's five-year-old was helping raking the leaves.  He was having a great time, balancing one leaf on the back of his rake and flipping it over onto the pile.  Of course, not many leaves were raked but he sure had fun. 

What about you?  What do you do for fun?  For amusement?  For work?  Can you bring in a sense of play to your work? 

It reminds me of the Fish! Philosophy.  The employee practices at the Pikes Peak Fish Market. click here to see a video.  When I was working with employers to implement wellness programs, the Fish!Philosophy is a great employee management style for having work/life balance.  It is more than just for employers/employees.  It is a way of viewing life. 

The four foundations of the Fish! Philosophy:

#1-- Be There
 Be there mentally and physically, so you can seize opportunities and maximize your performance.
#2-- Make Their Day
Genuinely connect with customers and colleagues alike. Daily create an engaging work environment or delightful customer experience -- the kind that builds loyalty and repeat business.
#3-- Play
Embrace a playful state of mind that makes you more energetic, enthusiastic and creative. Result: enhanced customer relations and elevated productivity.
#4-- Choose Your Attitude
Cultivate self-sufficiency and control in consistently making smarter business decisions. A mental state optimized to "be there" with an attitude that ignites success.
 

What happens in Vegas... happens every where else.

Another shooting this morning.  From the time I started writing this post, the numbers and facts have changed.  Probably by tomorrow, there will be more information. 

As the reporters headline with the deadliest mass shooting in America, it makes me sick to my stomach. I know why the reporters categorize like that and certainly it is true, but when they compare the quantity of fatalities and injuries to other shootings in the country it makes it seem as if the others don’t matter.  That those other shootings are too small.

The mystery author- P.D. James was once asked why her descriptions of the murder, when the victim is first discovered, were so gruesome. She said that it should be shocking to the character and consequently to the reader.  As she described, murder is shocking and is horrible and it should shock every time it is witnessed. 

This shooting in Las Vegas is horrible, but what is more horrible is according to the CDC, "on an average day, 93 Americans are killed with guns."  The act that any one person is even injured by guns is horrible much less killed.  We should be shocked. 

What gets me is that as a society, there is all the commentary about, “How did this happen?  What can we do to prevent this from occurring again?”   

If we can find there is a reason; mental illness, disgruntled, etc. then we feel a little bit better- “Whew," we think, "This is a problem that doesn’t relate to us.”

Or does it? 

How we deceive ourselves.  Do we think that we are innocent in this evil of one to another? Do we think that our societal love of violence and guns doesn’t impact everyone?  We can see it with our violent movies, video guns and web images.  By the grace of God we were not the ones on the news tonight. 

Every time we talk about our violent society we will tsk, tsk and say it is a shame.  But do we do anything about it?  We may, for a couple of days, hug our loved ones a little tighter, hesitate about going in crowded venues, and maybe decide not to go to the latest blow 'em up movie.  But, after a week or so, we go about life as we always have.  What if we decide not to monetarily support violent movies or games?  What would that say to those who feed into societal's appetite for those things? What if we got really serious about gun control? 

Many years ago I attended a young mothers'  group that had a variety of speakers.  Once there was a psychologist speaking about the effects of television,  especially violent television on children.  While the studies were conclusive that yes, viewing violence causes more violence, the reaction to the problem was, "let's do another study."  I sat there in bewilderment.  

Just turn off the television.

Violent television programs conclusively demonstrated violence in children, yet no one wanted to acknowledge that fact.  I guess there would have to be an accountability that many parents didn't want to take and so, the response was, let's get more information rather than do something now.

I know that the gun issue is very complicated and I am not condemning guns. But I am wondering what can we do about it because we are the problem and the solution.

I think we should be horrified when we hear of attacks like we did this morning. We should take notice and have dialogue about it.  We should work toward some type of solution.  We should be a society that is not complacent about anyone's murder. We should not forget.

The thing is... 

What happens in Vegas..... will happen everywhere else if we are not vigilant and start being accountable for the society we have created.  We need to recognize our insatiable appetite for violence and our greed.  The types of weapons that are available to consumers goes way beyond having a rifle to harm the weasel or fox who is killing one's livelihood.  Someone is making quite a hefty profit. 

I know that I am thinking about how I contribute to society.  I have been known to watch violent movies.  How violent is violent? How do I interact with the person on the fringe of society? What can I do when I hear about violent things?  How do/should I respond?  

My nephew has an interesting blog about today's shooting.   Click here to read.

What about you?  What is your reaction to the shooting?   

Fall Bucket List

The other day I heard a radio announcer speaking to his co-host about making a fall bucket list. 

I was intrigued even though I feel that the term "bucket list" has become a cliche.

From what I have gleaned, the term "the bucket list" was coined from the 2007 movie starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson of the same name.  The movie tells of the exploits of the two men as they complete tasks and experiences that they wanted to do before they die.  

The bucket list from the movie derives from the slang expression "to kick the bucket" meaning to die. There are many explanations for that expression:  

That expression may have derived from the Middle Ages and the method of execution by having a person stand on a bucket while a noose was put around the neck. The bucket was then kicked out from under the person and then subsequently hanged. 

It also could be from the Catholic tradition of sprinkling the deceased with holy water that was kept in a bucket by the body.  Friends and family would pay their respects and sprinkle water on the body.  

Another idea is that it is a childhood game of moving balls around randomly placed buckets.  If you touched a ball to a bucket you lost and would have to sit out the remainder of the game.

It may have come from a West African word, "kek(e)rebo" meaning to die.

There is some thought that it refers to a Latin poem where the just milked goat kicks the bucket of fresh milk.  In the poem it is an omen of death to come. 

However the original expression came about, the bucket list idea is that one completes a goal or activity before ones dies.  It is generally something that one has always wanted to do but for whatever reason hasn't done it.  It may be because of time, finances, or lack of courage. The bucket list items gives one permission to complete it regardless of societal norms and behaviors.

What I like about the idea of a seasonal bucket list is that we are identifying items that we want to do in the moment.  These are generally smaller, and I would argue more doable, goals.   The process of doing one thing might lead to doing more. 

What is one thing would you want to accomplish during the next three months?  Is it something you have always wanted to do?  Is it something that every fall, you say, "I want to do such and such.."  And every spring you say, "I never did do such and such..."

Put it on your calendar.  Plan for it.  If you have to do more research on how to accomplish it, put those research questions on your calendar.   You might want to form a new habit: at the beginning of each season, plan for one seasonal activity that you will do.

This fall I want to take advantage of the "free fall" activities in our town.  Every October, there are free shows and exhibits at local museums, theaters, and concert halls.   I need to look online and find what is available and then plan on going. 

You might not have on your fall list to climb Mt. Everest, but you might want to take a hike in the woods.  Whatever your plan, work towards it. Who knows, you might actually do all the things you wanted to do.

Community Connections

"Navy Returns to Compasses and Pencils to Help Avoid Collisions at Sea"

The above is a headline in today's The New York Times.  Basically, the Navy is going back to, well, basics: sailors getting more sleep, spending more time on ship maintenance, employing basic seamanship.

It seems that all professions have the tension between the use of technology and the basic, common skills that have been used over time.   

When I was employed at a well-known teaching hospital, I was in a training program for working with critically ill patients. During one of the classes, the instructor gave wise words: "Always check the patient."  

She went on to tell us the story: When she was a newly trained critical care nurse she was very enthusiastic and diligent to do exactly as she was instructed.  On one of her rounds she dutifully kept an eye on the cardiac monitor.  To her shock, she witnessed the monitor showing that the patient was experiencing ventricular tachycardia- extremely fast heart rhythm.  The first response to that problem is to shock the heart back into regular rhythm and can be done so by a whack on the chest.  The nurse ran into the room, went to the patient's side and "thumped" a hard fist in the middle of the man's chest.  He sat bolt upright,  "What the [expletive} do you think you are doing?"  

Turns out he had been sleeping.

As she reminded us, technology is a great tool but never forget your basic assessment of patients.

I have felt that our culture needs to remember the basics of human interaction. We are all too quick to allow technology to overshadow or replace our role as social beings.

Over the last couple of days I have been able to use my bicycle to accomplish some errands.  It has been beautiful fall weather and peddling through the streets noticing the mums, pumpkins and turning leaves has been a treat.

One thing that I have always noticed when I cycle, is how connected I feel to my fellow pedestrians and those who are out and about sans l'automobile.  In a car, I am so isolated. I barrel down the road and don't really get a chance to interact with anybody.  Yet on my bicycle as I meander through town I can aid the woman confused over a street address or buy a sandwich for the man down on his luck or smile and wave at the toddler tentatively waving in her stroller.

My interactions aren't earth shattering.  Just a connectedness with other human beings. Yet I am back to basics- communing with people as we were traveling around. 

One of my stops was at a local coffee shop to enjoy a cup of joe and to soak up the ambiance. As I sat there, I overheard a couple of conversations. In each grouping the dialogue may have been different but the theme was the same: community, spending quality time with one another and being authentic in our relationships. 

It seems as if  I hear more and more people expressing their tiredness with being a faceless entity- an initial or first name post among many other faceless posts. They want to be known for their individuality.  They want to go back to the way people use to interact. They want to be known.

On one hand, the computer and the global network has connected us with long-lost friends and family and has connected us with new friends in different cultures.  But the technology era has also ushered in more isolation and with that, despair and depression.  Try as we might to avoid it, we are designed to live in community. 

I certainly have had my fair share of not wanting community.  I have been known to duck down another aisle in the grocery store just to avoid talking to someone I know.  If I had my druthers, I would probably sit in isolation and only communicate by banging out texts and notes to people.  Yet, I also know that when I don't engage with others, I miss out.  I miss their immediate reactions to statements.  I miss out on immediate feedback.  I miss out on perspective, where do my thoughts fit into the big scheme of things? 

My bicycle jaunts have me engage more with my surroundings.  I find that I like it.  My community engagements are not long encounters.  They are not overly deep. At least for now.  Yet there is always something I get out of the encounters, some new idea or thought or outlook. I hope that is true too for the person encountering me.

I feel that I am getting back to basics, employing the foundational elements that connect us as humans:  building community.

What about you?  Do you ever feel the need to get back to basics?  To spend some time with the people around you?  Do you have the opportunity to interact with strangers?  To share a small greeting?  What is preventing you? Do you have time in your life to occasionally slow down when you do your errands? To bike or walk to get groceries, coffee or milk? Could you try it once a week, once a month, once a quarter?  If you did get back to basics, what would be your headline? 

"Cyclist Returns to Interacting With Previously Unknown Individuals to Build Community." 

Civilized Recycling

When we were in Italy and Austria this summer I was in awe of the recycling and multiple use of items. No waste for them (or so it seemed to me through my rose-colored sun glasses).  Restaurant orders on the backs of old receipts. Bring your own bags/containers/baskets for purchased store items.  Container gardens in all sorts of items- bins, boxes, baskets, old tires. 

I really liked Florence's organized street trash cans.  They had containers for specific items: organic matter, paper, glass, plastic.  The containers were solar compactors.  On trash day a truck with a large claw like arm, lifted the individual containers from the sidewalk and opened the bottom to dump the contents into separated trash compartments on the truck.   It makes such sense.  From the users standpoint, there didn't seem to be too much difficulty figuring out what went in what container. One can feel good about recycling. The city remained relatively clean because all items have a place to go.  The trash that can be recycled is and that which can be composted, does. 

Trash cans lined up on the street.

Trash day. Truck's arm lifts the entire unit and empties into the appropriate collection container.

In our hotel in Florence, there was all sorts of artwork. What was so interesting was that all of the artwork was from recycled material.  Some of it was purely decorative and others were useful.  

The "chandelier" in our room.  Look closely- see the water bottles, tops and metal bottom of cans? (I apologize, I couldn't edit the size of this picture.)

It makes me look at my space differently.  It makes me think-  how can I re-use what I am currently using?

Usually I am pretty good with the re-using of things.  From old handkerchiefs becoming bathroom curtains to cracked mixing bowls becoming flower containers, I like to be able to use something in two, possibly three incarnations.  Though, there are times when I am just ruthless and wasteful. I have been known to just "throw it out".  When I am tired of having too many in my cupboard, or in having to move and pack up items,  I get rid of it all. To the dump.  I just don't want to "deal with figuring things out".

I think for me, it comes down to excess.  When I have excessive amount of things it is easier to be cavalier and just toss.  No wonder that Americans waste approximately 219 pounds of food waste/year.  Who knows how much of our landfills are filled with plastic China made junk from the dollar store?  Certainly we have plastic and trash floating in the oceans, and with wind and currents, converge into "islands". While there is debate over the actual size, all can agree that those items shouldn't be there in the first place.  Click here for the facts from NOAA.

It seems when we don't have an excess of things, we tend to "use up" the items or reuse in another way and even discard it appropriately.  We become more in tune with the items, "Can it be recycled or totally reused?  If I cannot use it, maybe someone else can?"  I know that I don't always dispose of things properly. You would certainly ascertain that if you looked at the contents of my trash can.  But I do want to be creative in the way I use and reuse the items in my home.  Not only does it give me a sense that I am being a good steward of the environment, but it is just plain fun to be creative. Whatever I have "created" doesn't have to be forever;  some of those handkerchief valances have been replaced, but I was able to get a couple of years of extra enjoyment with them. 

What about you?  Have you ever thought about the trash you throw out?  Do you have many trashcans out on trash day?  Do you recycle?  Can you recycle?  Does your town, jurisdiction, county, village, province offer recycling centers?  Before something goes to the trash heap, have you looked at it with new eyes?  Can it be re-purposed? 

Archeologists find many clues in the trash heaps of previous societies. I think societies will be judged by the way they leave their trash. How will we be known?  Will our trash labels us as wasteful?  As careless? Or will we be seen as organized and showing a good usage of what we have? Will we be considered civilized? 

Before and after... We have owned those 2 black lamps for years (30+). In redoing the guest room, we needed another lamp.  I painted one of them white so that it would fit into the decor better.  I liked the white so much, since this photo I repainted the second black one so that in my office we now have a white one too.  (I apologize but couldn't edit the size of this picture)

Happy Belated Birthday Dr. Johnson

Monday was Samuel Johnson's 308th birthday.  That's a lot of candles.  Dr. Johnson, as he was called,  is considered the founder of the dictionary as well as novelist, essayist, etc.  He was also quite the curmudgeon.  He was known for quite the zingers.

"Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good."  Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/samueljohn161407.html

Lately I have been wanting to increase and improve my vocabulary.  I find that I repeat certain words when I am sure that there must be a better word to use. Depending to whom I am speaking, I will sometimes be in awe of the word usage. "Those are words I have not even thought about or have ever used."  I have always loved the etymology of words. Once known, I will think, "Yes, that describes exactly what I want to say!"  

In looking into how one can improve one's vocabulary, here are a couple of suggestions I found:

1)  Spaced repetition.  This basically says that you should review what you learn over time. In fact, they say that the best time to transfer your short-term memory to long-term is in the interval when the information is on the verge of being forgotten.   One of the principles behind the vocabulary learning apps- they continually remind you to practice short intervals each day.   Click here to read a more in-depth article.

2) Use your technology through Apps.  Here are some recommended ones: Vocabulary.com; PowerVocab; Magoosh Vocabulary Builder; A Word a Day Widget; 7 Little Words; Word to Word; Words with Friends; Penny Dell Crosswords

3)  Use the old-fashioned method.   Pick up a dictionary, randomly go through it, write down the word and practice saying it, using it in a sentence. Play scrabble or do a crossword puzzle.

4) Subscribe to a word of the day email alert.  Click here to subscribe to Merriam-Webster's calendar.

5) Other resources.   Click here for word lists, helps.

  What about you?  How's your vocabulary?  Need improvement? What words do you say over and over?  

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. “Tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

— Mark Twain

Creative Details

I am sure you have seen or heard the comic sketch where the returning college student or college graduate finds the key to his parents' home doesn't work.  In some cases, not only have they changed the locks, they have moved without telling him.  My husband had a college friend whose parents did just that.

I haven't had quite that experience but my parents did move out of state in less than twenty-fours after my high school graduation.  Fortunately they did apprise me of the move and took me with them. 

I feel that I am living that cliche: I am in the middle of painting our boys' bedroom with the plan to convert it into a guest room.  Our younger son has moved out, embarking on a graduate school education complete with his own apartment.  It has been less than two months and I have started immediately with repainting and redecorating the space.**

As I was painting one of the bed frames, I was in awe of the smoothness of the wood and the carved detail of the foot board.  I probably have dusted, passed by and glanced at this bed for over thirty years, yet I never noticed the small details.   

I have a friend who was trained as an artist.  I love going shopping with her, especially looking at decorative items.  She has such an experienced eye to know how well made something might be. It educates me to take a second glance and closer inspection of something that I might overlook.

The close inspection of my painted furniture, reminds me that if I have ownership of creating something I probably am more likely to be invested in its care.  I can see its possibilities.  If I have an understanding of how things work, I also am more likely to oversee its future. When I have ownership of a relationship, creating something healthy between two people, I am more likely to understand their decisions and  encourage them on their journey.  In any situation, I am more likely to be involved when I know how it is made or what it is all about, what needs to maintain it and how to use it to its fullest potential. 

I thought of how often I overlook things, situations, or people.  I will make assumptions, jump to conclusions or formulate hasty decisions.  I generally rush through activities with the goal of getting to the next thing. If only I would take the time -either to know more information before coming to those conclusions, to spend quality work time (so I do not have to redo, touching up missed paint spots,for instance) or to invest time in the person before I form a judgement. 

How different is God's dealing with us.  He, who created us, is so invested in each one of us. He sees our possibilities and understands how we work. He notices the smallest details in our lives. The only thing He asks is that we have a relationship with Him.  He is always available.  He takes the time that we give Him.  He wants nothing better than to be with us. He doesn't overlook us. He already knows about our possibilities, our flaws, and our lives.  He doesn't move without telling us.  His door is always unlocked. 

What about you?  Do you rush through life, never stopping to notice the details of people, items, or situations around you?  What would it take to appreciate your surroundings?  Or appreciate the people around you?  Do you have a friend, spouse, or loved one who takes time for you? What does that feel like?  Do you feel that God knows you?  If not, do you know Him?

What can you do today to notice the smallest details of your life? 

** Once the room is complete, I will post pictures.

The Future is Now

Yesterday there was an interesting opinion in The New York Times Review section- "The Suburb of the Future" by Alan M Berger, a professor of landscape, architecture and urban design at Massachusetts Institute of Technology.  What I found most interesting was his discussion of the use of technology to aid us in our future living environments.  

While he didn't describe a "Jetsons" lifestyle (although the use of autonomous cars, delivery drones, smart energy efficient utilities, seems like it to me) rather I felt that what he described seemed to be much like an old-fashioned English village: common foot paths, public access areas, safe pedestrian walk ways, limited car access, car pull overs.

In some ways what he is describing is using the best of all that we know and love about our current existence: choosing the best of our technology yet not losing that which makes us human. We do not have to live like the sterile futuristic apocalyptic portrayals in movies or books.  

I sometimes think we feel that in order to go forward there has to be amnesia of what has been past. It is that all or nothing mentality.  I know of some people who, once books and information were online, they decided to rid their house and business of all "hard copies" of books, pamphlets, files, etc. They embraced the entire digital lifestyle. If that is what works for them, then by all means, do it.  However, I find that doing anything in extremes very rarely results in being satisfied with anything.  

I don't think we will ever be the futuristic society we think we can be. We may try to be extremely independent with our non-human encounters, but we still are needy of one another.  We need and long for the human connection- to be known to one another.  Sometimes the only way to do so is the time immemorial way of speaking face-to-face, eye-to-eye.  

For all our trying to tame and control our landscapes, we still have the need to have access to green space and fresh air of nature's "wildness".  The concrete jungle doesn't satisfy our inner soul.

We want to be conscientious in our care of our environment yet still have all the modern amenities. Just look at the areas who were hit by this latest spate of hurricanes.  We certainly need our human invented alternatives of air conditioning and electricity to better our lives. We don't have to live like it is the 1800's yet if we continue living the way we have without any care to the resources we are using, we might not have a future.  

He proposes that we will use technology in smart ways that will be conscientious of our environment, in how we distribute our goods and services and how we arrange our home situations. The future planners will "find beauty in the utilitarian."  As Professor Berger says at the end of his article, "Planners need to view cities, suburbs and exurbs...as regions, with one integrated environmental and technological system. It's rare that such a profound change of vision for the future is so close to being achievable." 

It got me thinking.  Do I embrace the future and its changes?  If I did, what would that look like?  How can I take the best of what we currently know in science, sociology, medicine, psychology, etc. and still not lose sight of basic humanness?  Can I find beauty in the utilitarian?  What can I choose to make the most of the future I envision and embrace? 

What good things can I glean from the past and tweak them to be used in the future?  

What about you?  What things from your upbringing or past experiences can help you in your present and future?  Did you have a troublesome time as a child?  Has that provided strength and resilience as you go forward in your life?  What social norms do you like?  Do you have to practice all the ones that society currently says everyone is doing?  Can you pick the things that resonate with you so that you can create the future you want? 

It is exciting to see the future unfold.  What I find encouraging is that we live in a time that we can shape some of what our future holds:  we can choose what we bring with us. 

Notes to Older Self

"What would you tell your younger self?"   There is an anthology by Ellyn Spragins, What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self.   It includes stories and vignettes from Maya Angelou, Madeleine Albright, Queen Nor and a host of other remarkable women.

I have seen self-help books that are in essence, "notes to my younger self".  Mostly it is "non-preachy" way for someone to give another advice:  "These are the lessons learned from my rash younger self and I need to pass along these words of wisdom to you, foolish young person."  Definitely there is some truth in these type of books and it would be wise to heed or to at least consider the words given.

The idea of writing about the past is not a bad idea.  It is probably good to lay to rest any of the demons, troubles, regrets, guilts and pleasures of what might trip us up in our current journey.

 Although, I am in a place in life where I want to write notes to my older self.  Things I vow that I will and will not do as I age:

• Remain curious about my surroundings and the people around me
• Be considerate of others
• Go with the flow
• Continue to exercise or at least just move
• Focus on what I can do rather than what I cannot
• Allow my loved ones to make their own mistakes
• Don't offer advice (even through a carefully worded, "Notes to Younger Self") without having been asked

What about you?  Have you ever thought about writing a note to your younger self?  What advice would you give him/her?  What about writing a note to your older self?  What things do you want to ensure that you do as you age?  What things do you not want to do? 

One Hand

This week I committed the cardinal sin of kitchens. I placed a sharp cutting knife in the soapy dishwater and forgot about it.  Only when I was washing the dishes did I come upon it- by slicing the tip of my left-hand, middle finger.  

Yikes.  Talk about blood. God love my "faint upon seeing blood" husband. (He now has a sticker in his medical chart.  He must lie down with his feet preventively above his head when he gets labs drawn.  Too many times when he passed out giving a small vial to check his hemoglobin,etc.) 

Once I got the bleeding somewhat under control, he helped me put a butterfly bandage on it. He always amazes me.  He knows just what to do and does it.  Part of it comes from his first aid training in Boy Scouts.  In fact, he was the one who taught the class at Boy Scout camp.  I always wondered how did that work?  Didn't he faint as he taught the class?  "Purely theoretical", he replies.  (It is after the crisis is over, will he have to lie down and let the color return to his face.) 

I now have 2 butterfly bandages on my finger, plus a flexible fabric bandage to contain the antibiotic ointment and another knuckle bandage over top of it all.  It really extends my middle finger so that when I move my hand, I look like I am perpetually ticked off at everyone. (which some days describes my mood)

The thing is, having limited use of my left hand is a big annoyance.  It is just a small appendage, but I have to rethink what I am doing.  I don't want to get that hand wet because the soggy bandages have to be continually changed. I don't want to use it when I garden because I don't want dirt in my cut.  So many things I do, require that I use both hands and for the time being I can't.

"Two hands are better than one".  That is certainly an apropos adage. Two hands can provide strength, support, and symmetry. For us as individuals we need to have the balance of both sides.

It makes me thing that in the global sense, we need two hands;  we need the balance of both sides.  We need the strength, support and symmetry that comes when there is more than just one idea, one way of doing something, or one solution.

With my one handedness, I have to ask my husband to help.  I find that it is quite a bother because I am, as I have mentioned before, an independent cuss.  It is humbling to have someone else button a button or fix a clasp. 

But isn't that what we are asked to do?  Help others?  Give support?  Provide strength? Be humble? 

Just like we need two hands, we need one another. 

What about you?  Ever have trouble with your appendages?  Temporarily or permanently?  What did you learn with that experience?  

Perfect Day

Weather wise, today is a perfect day.  The air has finally lost its cloying stickiness of humidity but it does not have the crisp autumnal air yet.  It is as if the air is just in a mellow mood.

The sun is still bright and warm.  You don't have to look very hard to find the warm sunny spot as you have to do in the dead of winter. When I am outside, my skin feels the way it does on evenings after a day at the beach; the pleasant sensation of  cool evening breezes skimming over a taut somewhat sunburned face.  At this time of year, I don't need to wait until evening;  the day breeze immediately cools down my warmed skin.  I half expect to taste some salt on my lips. 

I love this transitional time between summer and fall weather.  Technically it is still summer but the days and weather lean more to the fall-ish side.  It is the day of sunflowers, chrysanthemums and gathering of acorns yet it is still the day of hydrangeas, sunshine, and sandals. 

I love the unhurried pace of the day.  It makes me want to achieve things but also to just sit back and enjoy whatever I am doing.  No time pressure.  No feeling of "hurry up and wait." Just a good balance of work, play and create.  It is a perfect day for all of it.  The sweet juxtaposition of doing and being; the active fall and the languishing summer. 

It reminds me of the month leading up to our wedding.  Just before it, I had an accident at work- slipped on a freshly waxed floor and landed right on my backside.  I was told to go home and rest for a couple of days. Even though the wedding date was looming, I found those days were wonderful. I could lounge in bed reading books.  A co-worker loaned me all of her D.E. Stevenson books and I was in heaven, reading about the trials and tribulations of everyday life in England and Scotland.  I was transported. 

It seems to me that the quality of today's air is like it was twenty-seven years ago. When I feel it, I am transported to a place where I feel mellow.  Like the country song says, "no shoes, no shirt, no problems." (except of course, the shirt!)

Every year, in September and October I look forward to days like today. I wish I could bottle it, but then I wonder if it would be as special?  When days like this come around, do I squander it or do I thoroughly enjoy each moment?  And, do I have to wait until my surroundings, e.g. the air and sun quality, are just right in order to feel this peace?  If I cannot bottle those qualities, can I still achieve this mellow feeling without it? 

Underlying the perfect day is a feeling of hope, expectation, possibilities and a future. Certainly those were some of my feelings leading up to our wedding.  If those are the qualities of a perfect day, why cannot each day be perfect?  

What about you?  Do certain times of the year speak to your heart?  When is it?  Why is it?  Is it a time of remembrance?  A time of hope?  A time of peace? 

Certainly Jesus promises us a peace that passes all understanding. When we trust Him, we do have a perfect day of hope, expectation, possibilities and a future. 

Doing the Right Thing

I don't know about you, but the protesting from the last couple of weeks has really gotten to me.  I am distressed that people will speak and act so violently against other people. It seems as if both parties can incite their own and each other.

I wonder if I were part of a protest, would I get carried away? The log is in my own eye because there is a part of me that just wants those with whom I don't agree to just shut the heck up.  Hopefully I would never resort to violence to have them be quiet.  But are those who protest seemingly reasonable any other time?

I am a firm believer for freedom of speech so I would hope that my desire for that universal freedom would override any "mob" mentality.  If I start picking and choosing who may speak, based on my preferences, then I am no better than the dictators or absolute rulers of this world.  I hope that I would choose and do the right thing when it comes to dealing with individuals whom I may not agree.

Last week there was a story that exemplified someone who was choosing and doing the right thing.  A news reporter, Al Letson was in Berkeley California, reporting on a protest of white supremacists and its counter protest of anti-fascists or antifa. As Mr. Letson was watching things unfold, he saw a white supremacist fall to the ground and an angry group of antifa approach the fallen man with what appeared to the journalist intent to harm or possible kill the fallen white supremist.  So the journalist broke the journalist code of "not becoming part of the story" and lay on the man, covering him with his own body so that the left-wing, antifa protesters would stop.  The journalist was hoping that the anti-protesters would see him, a black man on the ground and not harm him or the gentleman underneath him. 

What a hero and a testament that as humans, we can show compassion, understanding and empathy even if we do not agree.  

But, I wonder- would I be as brave as the journalist?  Would I stand up for someone even if I did not agree with the other person? 

I haven't been part of any protests, nor have I been put in a split second decision to offer my life for someone else, but I have had opportunities to sign petitions or statements for various groups.  Most of the requests I would say I agree with the sentiments but there is generally some statement or statements that I cannot completely agree.  I find that almost every issue has nuances and is not so cut and dry.  Some of the sentiments are quite true but once "on board", I find that there are other sentiments that are not quite in keeping with the intention.  

And so I struggle.  How do we know what to believe?  How do we, as Americans, get out of this negative, all or nothing, vile hatred of other's beliefs and in turn of others?  How do we protest without being violent?  How do we agree to disagree?  How do we get the other side to listen to us?  How do we get institutions to revoke policies and practices that are not equal to all Americans? How do we not remain bitter when that happens? 

I was thinking that I need to look back.  I am wanting to read about forgiveness and grace.  How did South Africa turn the tide of apartheid?  Certainly there was blood shed and much hardship.  But how did Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu work with the same people who imprisoned and hurt them?   How do we work, live, play beside the people whom we do not agree?  How can reconciliation occur? 

What about you?  Have you thought about the protests happening in our nation?  Have you participated in any?  What was the feeling of the crowd?  Would you be as quick thinking as the journalist to protect someone whom you disagree? 

Have you had the opportunity to do the right thing?  Or, by my using the action word, "doing", are you in the process of exploring the right thing? 

Click here to read the story of the journalist doing the right thing.  

Living the Dream

Do you ever dream or envision a life different than what you are currently living?  Is this new vision a reality or a pipe dream?  Are you totally unrealistic in your wishes or just afraid to try?  Is this vision a calling? Does it comprise of your talents, gifts, abilities, desires? 

I have enjoyed the musings of author, Jennifer L. Scott and her blog, The Daily Connoisseur.  At that site she expounds on living excellently.   She touches on topics like dressing appropriately, the ten-item wardrobe, practicing poise in one's daily life, home organization, simplicity and in general, how to live life well.  

What I like about her is that she is unapologetic in her opinions.  For instance, she will comment on the unmannerly use of inappropriate language or the benefit of dressing well in public.  For her, there is no shame in enjoying good things. Her rationale for doing so is not so much for hedonistic pleasure but a philosophy on life that good living is honorable. 

She has disclosed that in the next year she, her husband and three children will be traveling throughout Europe visiting family (her husband is British) and having experiences with her children.  In order to prepare for a lifestyle like this, she and her husband have made choices to be debt-free. They have made sacrifices for this plan. 

Kudos for her for having an idea on how they will live their life and then have a plan and discipline to do so. 

It inspires and encourages me to re-think the direction I am going.  As I have been considering work/life balance, I have been reevaluating purpose and plan for my life.  My musings are not such a major re-consideration or adjustment in my life, but just a fine tuning. Through much of the process I am just validating and regrouping what I already know.

Do you know where you are headed in life?  Do you feel a calling for a certain profession, a way of life or even a specific activity? Ms. Scott's example is not a big passionate lifetime calling like being an overseas missionary but it does follow the desires of her and her family's heart.  Not all of us are called into the big visual ministries.  Yet all of us are called by God to live the life He has designed us to live. 

There are steps to fulfilling our call in life which includes many choices on our part.  For me it comes down to my interaction with God and my election of free-will throughout those choices.  

1) God has a plan for each one of us.   Our journey in life is discovering the call, listening to it and obeying that call. That plan generally includes the people in our lives (spouse, friends, children, grandchildren, etc.) because we do not go through this journey alone.

2) God has given us gifts and graces in order to carry out that call.  He doesn't give us an assignment without giving us the necessary tools to do it.  It may be that we need to practice our talent, learn more about a subject through education or through the wisdom of others. 

3) God will give us the details of the plan.  This can be the troublesome point.  God will unfold the details for the plan, but generally not all at once.  In our "need to know all"  mentality, we have to trust that God will tell us as we "need to know just this much. For now". 

4) God will give us the discipline to continue through the call.  If we ask.  This is our active part of trusting in God.  I have found that as I grow in my faith (through Bible study and prayer), He is shaping me through discipline.  He gives me the strength to keep going when the times are tough.  He reassures me of His plan when I doubt if the call is real.  Sometimes, I need physical discipline (like Ms. Scott learned to be debt-free in order to do her travel) and "bottom" (as they say in the UK) to make hard lifestyle choices so that I can follow the call.  

5) God will redirect us when our call is complete.  I do think that we may have a lifetime call or we may have a call for "such a time as this". Our calling and plan may be short lived but that doesn't mean that it wasn't significant nor impactful. 

Our call doesn't have to be mutually exclusive from our heart's desires.  If there are activities, situations or things that bring us joy, it can all be part of the plan.   Whatever the future holds, it should be weighed against what God has planned.  Just ask Him.

What about you?  Would you be able to follow your heart's desire?  Have you asked God for guidance in your overall life?  In your day-to day? 

---

One life on this earth is all that we get, whether it is enough or not enough, and the obvious conclusion would seem to be that at the very least we are fools if we do not live it as fully and bravely and beautifully as we can.

~Frederick Buechner

Rotten Potatoes

For the last two weeks, every time I would enter our back basement I smelled something unpleasant.   At first I thought it was the remnant smell of some wet wool carpets I had been cleaning and drying.  Then I wondered if the dogs had “done something”.  Next I was convinced that the sump pump was emitting an unused odor.  I even added some bleach water to pump it through and freshen it up.  

Still the smell remained.

It was only when I was getting some food out of our small basement freezer that I discovered the problem- there were rotting potatoes in our “root cellar” basket.  I keep the extra potatoes and onions in a basket in our back cellar.  It is cool enough there to keep the items for a while.

When I looked through the basket I found the source- a small rotting area on one of the potatoes. What is amazing to me it that something so small could be so odiferous. One would have thought the entire basket was rotting. 

It is another reminder of how small things in our lives can matter: how a mean comment in our youth can dictate our views of ourselves or how a small decision may change the trajectory of our life.  

They say "don't sweat the small stuff", but most of life is made up of small stuff- the day to day grind or the proverbial rat race.  For me it is the little stuff that trips me up and makes the air around me unpleasant.  It is my lack of discipline (Why did I spend thirty minutes watching something useless on youtube?) or hesitation (All I needed to do was to introduce myself to that new member at the club) or laziness (I just don't feel like updating my linked in page)  that creates and spreads further problems.  First of all I berate myself for not doing a simple task.  Then the more I don't do it, the more it becomes a problem and the more self-loathing I experience.  

The basket of rotting potatoes is also an example of how even a small sin, that which keeps us from God, can permeate the life around us.  If I had left the rotting potato in the basket, it would have completely spread the rot to the others and the whole basket would've been ruined.

My heart breaks when I hear someone feel distant from God because of some small issue- may have been a choice of the person's own doing or one that happened to him/her.  Either way, it has continued to grow and spread so that his/her life now has become so distanced from God that there is feeling of hopelessness and never getting things right.  There even  becomes an adjustment in one's thinking that this distance is normal and will always be this way.

The thing is- you can always clean the basket.  In getting rid of the basement odor, I had to identify its source.  Some times we need a good self examination of what is going on in our lives.  David in the Psalms asks that God examine his heart.  That is a good place for all of us to start when we cannot locate the unpleasantness in our own lives- asking God to show where we have fallen short.  Then clean the basket: ask for forgiveness from God, or in the case of negative attributes (like my laziness) plan to be proactive with positive attributes.  Finally, proceed on the new path.  Start behaving or living your life in this clean environment.  It doesn't have to be a big production.  Just like small negative things add up, so do small positive things. 

What about you?  Any rotten potatoes in your life?  Do you even smell anything bad?  Or, have you lived with the smell so long you don't even notice it?  What steps can you do to "clean that basket"?  

Best Advice You Have Received

• Use the good soap. (Don't wait for things to be "perfect" or for special occasions in order to use your good things.  You are the special occasion.) 
• If a book doesn't grab you, put it down.  (There are too many things in this life that can easily distract us.  Choose only the things that resonate with you.)
• Write a thank-you note immediately after coming home from dinner, event or receiving a gift.  (Doesn't everyone like to be thanked ?  Certainly someone who invited you and spent time and/or money on you would like some small nod of  acknowledgement.)
• Acknowledge death and/or bad news immediately by sending a note of condolence, or speaking directly to the person the next time you see him/her.  (If not, the lack of acknowledgement will be a silent barrier between you.)
• If you have time to do something, do it when you are thinking about it.  If not, the time will pass and you will not have it again.
• Lay out your clothes the night before. (It is amazing how much time is saved in the morning when this is done.  Plus it is one easy decision already made for the day.)
• Plan out a week's worth of menus.  (Just like getting your clothes out the night before, this is one simple step to organizing a less stressed week.)
• Wear something nice when you have to do something you don't want to. (Part of the old, "act as if" adage.  Sometimes dressing the part when our hearts aren't in it gets us motivated.)
• Wear sunglasses and sunscreen. (Sunburn is not very attractive, nor is it healthy.  Plus it can be quite painful)
• Drink more water.  (A simple act which has loads of health benefits:  decreased headaches, less colds, more energy, improved memory, glowing skin, healthy GI tract, better mood.)
• Leave the party when you are having a good time. (You will be remembered fondly as well as you will remember the event fondly.)

What about you?  What has been some of the best advice you have ever received or given? 

Eclipse(d)

Yesterday was the day of a total solar eclipse, stretching from the West Coast in Oregon diagonally across America like a solar sash to South Carolina.  There has been much discussion about it, much excitement and to some extent much hype. 

Unfortunately, my location in the Mid-Atlantic didn't afford me a good location to see the eclipse. We had a lot of cloud cover.  Although during the appointed time when we should've experienced about 80% of the eclipse, the sky darkened and there was an odd glow about it. 

I have been thinking about the eclipse and word's definition.  Astronomy aside, eclipse also means "a reduction or loss of splendor, status, reputation," etc. (noun) or "deprive (someone or something) of significance, power, or prominence" (verb).  It also means "to cause to undergo eclipse".

Got me thinking about the things that seem to eclipse me:  fear, anxiety, bitterness, disappointment.  These are the things that block me from experiencing life and all its glory, joy and beauty and these are the things that I allow to deprive me from being the person I was created to be.  

Do you ever feel eclipsed?  Have you ever felt a loss of significance, power or prominence? Do you ever feel that you have been deprived?

With all the safety warnings of not looking at the sun, I was reminded of the Greek myth of Icarus who flew too close to the sun with his wax and feather flying contraption.   Icarus was instructed by his father to stay on the flight path: to fly not too close to the sea and not too close to the sun.  Icarus in his giddiness to fly, did not heed his father's warnings and had a fatal accident when he ascended too high and the heat of the sun melted his wax causing him to  fatally fall.  The warning of the myth is to avoid complacency and hubris.  

What is surprising to me is that in the eclipse video feeds of the places that received totality, that even though it was getting darker, when there was only just a sliver of sunlight showing, there was still light to see.  Even with impeding darkness, the sun's rays are powerful enough to shed some light in even the smallest of areas. 

It gives me hope that although I may be deprived of living the way I should be, there is still a chance that I can get it right.  I can choose whether I will allow those feelings of fear, anxiety, bitterness and disappointment to dominate my thinking and my life.  I can choose not to allow hubris to dictate my thoughts: to choose to not think of myself more highly than I really am.  For after all, when I am fearful or anxious it is because deep down I think I can control every outcome.  When I a bitter or disappointed it is because I think I deserve better.  It is all arrogance  and pride on my part.

The eclipse reminds me that even though the sun might not be seen for a time, it is still there behind the moon and will shine again soon.  I may have things blocking and depriving me a life free of worries but it doesn't always have to be.  The sun reminds me of God's promises that He is in control and is always there.  When I get anxious (and lately, I have been anxious about many uncontrollable things) I have to remind myself that God is still there, He is in control, He has taken care of things in the past and will do so in the future.  I need to recognize my frailty and humanness and give over to His sovereignty. 

What about you?  Did you watch the eclipse yesterday?  What was your reaction?  Do you ever feel that things in life are "eclipsing" you?  What are they?  What do you do to "be safe" during those times? 

The sun reminds me that when I put things in its proper place- humbling aligning myself  with God- I am free to enjoy the world around me.  I am free of fear, anxiety, bitterness and disappointment.  The sun reminds me that I do not need to be eclipsed. 

Take Pleasure in Toil

For those of you who have faithfully subscribed to this blog, you have read of my struggles for work/life balance.  Some of you have related to me your own struggles with this topic. 

As I have been pondering this struggle a Bible verse came to mind,  "I (the writer of Ecclesiastes) perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil- this is God's gift to man." Ecclesiastes 3: 12 & 13.

In my Bible's commentary it notes that this verse suggests that "rather than becoming embittered by what God has not granted human beings (namely, the ability to comprehend all of reality), one should enjoy the gifts that God has given." 

Touché.  I realize that I am becoming embittered with my situation and towards others and myself because I can not comprehend all of my own reality.  For me, comprehension includes control.  If I am honest with myself, I want to be the one in control of my reality which means I need to know all and to be able to control others' decisions regarding my situation. Yet I know that certain things are beyond my control. Not only can I not comprehend all that is around me, I cannot comprehend why I cannot figure things out.   I can strive to be balanced, but I may fail miserably. 

This verse reminds me that I should just focus on the basics- enjoy the things that God has given me, strive to do good deeds and to work at my calling.  For the immediate present, I might not be able to do all that I hoped to do- devote a single mindedness to full-time work- but I can do what I can. 

I am slowly realizing that this smaller "action list" is a gift.  There is no need to make myself anxious or upset with self-loathing over unaccomplished goals.   All I need to be concerned about is being obedient to God's call on my life and enjoying the things that come my way and surround me,  whatever that might look like. 

What about you?  Are you still struggling with balance?  Do have difficulty enjoying the simple things? Why something so basic and seemingly easy is so difficult to do?  Why is contentment so elusive? 

What would it be like if we all asked, what can be done?  Not to get discouraged or to think of the bigger reality, but what small thing can we do that takes pleasure in our toil? 

I would encourage you (as I encourage myself) to enjoy this day and enjoy the toil, whatever comes our way.  

No Answers, Only Questions

As I sit to write this morning, I feel the heaviness of life not going according to plan.  As a reader reminded me by quoting John Lennon,  "Life is what happens when you are busy making others plans."

In some ways that is true.  We can have the best laid plans but the reality of our lives is what actually happens.  I am also reminded of a dear friend who remarked that many times things for her would "go wrong" when she planned a project, e.g. ran out fabric or paint, etc. However, the final result after having to adapt to the new situation, was better than originally planned. 

I am holding onto that image.

I feel that I am constantly battling trying to stay positive and hopeful versus despair over not being able to accomplish that which I thought was my calling.   I am battling the feeling of guilt for wanting to be left alone in order to work and for feeling resentment of others who do not understand.  I am battling the concept of looking at the interruptions as my current calling and work and having to put my writing aside. I am battling the self-centered desire to tell everyone about my "terrible" situation (poor me- wah, wah ) and in wanting to be forbearing and gracious in my handling a tough situation.  

Each day I go through these mental gymnastics.  I thought I might be getting a handle of the life interrupted by trying to reframe my expectations.  (see last post)  I had given myself permission to work on some new projects, complete some old ones and to explore work/life balance.  I was planning that this August would be one of experimentation and solution. 

It has been ten days of testing my resolve. There have been daily interruptions of extended family needs and the interruptions are not of the couple minutes or hour variety but ones that take up the whole day's time.  

I thought I was on to some type of answers:  I began each day thinking I will actually get to do some work. (I planned and marked my calendar for it.)  I also began each day trying to be open to some interruptions or changes.  But what has actually happened is totally beyond what I planned or imagined.  Makes me wonder what God is trying to tell me through this ordeal.

So, I have come to the conclusion that I have no answers.  Whatsoever.  Only questions for you: 

How do you balance work and life?

How do you set boundaries with family members?

How do you manage the feeling of selfish guilt when you are trying to be true to yourself?

How do you not feel guilty when you say no because you are trying to earn a wage? 

How do you manage your time? 

If you have struggled with this issue, what did you learn about yourself, others and God through it? 

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts. I do not think I am alone in this problem of feeling that everyone else is determining my daily schedule.  I think many of us feel that we have no control in what we are doing.  I also recognize that this is the life stage that I am in, as I have no choice in some of the interruptions.  Just like I imagine there might be no choices for some of you.  But I also cannot help but think there must be a better way- a way which would honor those who are "interrupting", would honor that which makes each one of us unique and a way which would honor God through our care of ourselves and others.

I was comforted during the morning's Bible reading.  What I love about the Psalms is that David pours his heart out to God.  No holding back.  I feel that I can do the same.  I want answers from God. 

Psalm 62:8, "Trust Him at all times, o people; Pour out your heart before Him, God is a refuge for us." Psalm 69:16, "Hid not your face from your servant, for I am in distress; make haste to answer me."   

So what about you?  Any answers?