Fast Food

This summer while we were driving to our destination for vacation we stumbled upon a broadcast on the local NPR station. There was a very interesting program about fast food.   They talked about the history of American fast food.  The fast food definition being used- mass produced food served quickly.  Generally it is associated as nutritionally poor, calorie dense food. They noted that although White Castle was the first "fast food" it wasn't until Ray Croc purchased the McDonald brothers business that the modern era of fast food was born.  

Fast food is not a modern invention.   Ready cook food for sale has been part of the urban scene from the beginning of cities.   In Ancient Rome there were street stands- places where one could purchase ready made food.  With industrialization, there became a need for quick hot food for the factory workers. Productivity and time management was the driving force behind how we shaped our days.  The workers had to quickly eat in order to get back to work.  Over a hundred years later and we still have the same issues. 

Yesterday as I was walking the dogs, we walked past a stop light.  I found it amazing that almost every driver and passenger in every waiting car was eating something. In one SUV there was a couple- husband driving, wife in passenger seat and both were chowing down what obviously looked like their dinner.   It made me recall a commentary I heard on the radio many years ago.  The host was interviewing another journalist who had just come back to living in the US after spending many years as the Tokyo correspondence.  When asked what was his first impression upon returning to the U.S., the journalist noted that he had forgotten how Americans eat in their cars.  He said that he rarely, if ever saw that in Japan. 

I thought how sad.  What are we accomplishing here?  Is it really a time saver to eat on the run? 

I am the first to admit that I have eaten in my car especially when I was traveling for work.   And as a family, we have also eaten in the car.  I might be missing an occasion but I think the only times we have done a family meal in the car were when we were traveling and we either had our dogs with us and didn't want to leave them in the car or it was pouring rain and we had originally planned to picnic. 

I understand that there are times when it happens but as a routine outing I wonder what it does for us in the long run?  Certainly there are studies that suggest many benefits to sitting down at a table to eat as opposed to standing at the sink, sitting on the couch watching TV or eating while driving in a car. The act of sitting at a meal table generally slows one down in the eating process.  It takes about twenty minutes for your brain to register that you are satiated with what is in your stomach. Slowing down to eat, chewing more and savoring your food allows your body to process what is coming in.  Without shoveling as fast as one can, you don't mindlessly ingest unnecessary calories which can lead to extra glucose or salt laden food that can develop into diabetes or heart disease. If it is a shared meal, there is community building. For meals with small children, language development occurs, values transmitted, and habits are relayed.  For some, the process of preparing, serving, eating and cleaning up can be relaxing and a needed distraction to the day.  

Sitting down to a meal is a necessary and built in break to our day. In a way, what better use of our break time than to replenish our bodies with food? 

I know that I eat way too quickly even when sitting at the dining room table.  I sometimes look at the day-to-day process of meal planning and eating as a necessary but bothersome duty, kind of like taking CPR classes- have to do it but if there were any other way around it I would gladly participate.  I am ready to get on to the next thing but really I need to ask- why?  Why cannot I just enjoy a few minutes of food and conversation? 

I have been challenging myself this fall to chew slowly and to savor the colors, smells, taste of the food on my plate. 

What about you?  Do you find that most of your meals take place in your car or your couch?  Is there a way you can try to eat one of those meals at a table?  Do you gulp down your food in order to get on to the next thing?  Can you slow down, maybe adding an extra ten or even twenty minutes to your meal time?  

Are you subject to fast food? 

Every Day's A Great Day

Sunday will be the fifteenth anniversary of the September 11th attacks.  Do you remember where you were?  I had just come back from getting the boys on their elementary school bus.  I was straightening up the kitchen and had started running the vacuum.  The telephone rang.  It was my sister.  

"Did you see the tower? I can't believe it!"  There was no hello just disbelief on the other end.

 "What are you talking about?" I said.  

"Turn on your television."  she replied.  I went into the adjoining room and turned it on.  Didn't matter what station, the picture was the same:  An airplane careening into the side of the world trade center, smoke billowing up into the clear, blue sky.  My first thought was to do a mental check of my family members: I figured our boys were in the safest place, the school with the gold and black triangle fallout shelter image on the side.  My husband was at work in a small indistinguishable office. Unfortunately my nephew was in college in NYC. I had a couple of hours of worry but eventually heard that he was uptown and was not immediately impacted. 

As much as it was a horrific day and for those who lost loved ones, unimaginable, I still cannot help feeling a gladness in the pride of my fellow humans.  They went through such trying times, yet they rose to the occasion and did not succumb to the level of those who terrorized us.  There was such compassion, generosity, and care for one another under unbelievable conditions.  There are countless stories of people helping others. On the radio this week they have been remembering with stories from survivors. 

One survivor is Brian Clark, a retired executive vice president of Euro Bank who was working on the 84th floor of the second tower.  Once the tower was hit, the overhead speakers announced that the building was secure.  It was then that the plane exploded inside and the tower shook and moved.  Brian left his floor and with a feeling that something was pushing him towards stairway A, he descended.  Along the way he heard a stranger's voice coming from the 81st floor and stopped to remove the gentleman from the rubble.  They both escaped seconds before the building came completely down and the debris washed like a grey tsunami over the streets. 

He talks about how he doesn't spend time wondering why he did what he did; if he had taken staircase C as he had planned, he might not have made it, or his now lifelong friend wouldn't have been found in the rubble.   He says,  "I have learned, and I tell other people, that there's no point in wasting time trying to answer unanswerable questions. ... Likewise, one cannot predict the future with any certainty. I went to work that day, a normal day, had no idea what was about to happen. So if you don't dwell on unanswerable questions in the past, you don't worry about the future, it pretty well leaves you with the present, and that's where I try to live every day. Every day's a great day. Some are just greater than others."

In a way, what a gift he has been given.  To have learned to enjoy the present.  I know many people who have endured tragedy say the same thing- in the midst of horror, they have been given a gift of learning to appreciate life. Some people live their entire lives and never really enjoy it. 

Sometimes I feel that I am that way.  I replay the past and worry about the future.  I don't truly appreciate the here and now.  

What a joy to know that I don't have to stay that way.  That I can make a choice to concentrate solely on the present. Sad that it takes a major catastrophe for us to get it.  I think that Jesus speaks to the heart of this when he tells us,  "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  

I do find that some days it is hard to rise about the muck of the past or to move beyond the paralysis of an anxious future.  I have to go through all sorts of mental exercises.  It is hard work, but I press on. I try to think of the moment as my last moment.  I try and appreciate all the nuances of my surroundings. I try to concentrate on the person I am with. I try and recognize that some moments are more memorable than others. 

I try and embrace Brian Clark's attitude:  Every day is a great day.  Some days are just greater than others.

What about you?  As you hear the stories of 9/11 and as you reflect on your life, what is your daily attitude?  Do you replay past mistakes, hurts, grudges?  Do you worry about the future and become anxious?  How is your day going?  Is it a great or greater day? 

Lessons From Preschool

Over the weekend there was a news report  talking about ways to help behavior of preschoolers, namely how to prevent poor preschool behavior that might lead to school suspension.  Apparently, suspending preschoolers is a bigger problem than you might think. 

It comes down to teaching the teachers and parents how to redirect the preschoolers' feelings. Preschoolers have a trouble expressing feelings regarding difficult situations or just changes in a routine: new baby to the family, moving, trauma, abuse, neglect, etc.  So, when they cannot express themselves, they act out. 

Touche.  I think this is not just a preschooler issue.  It is a universal problem. I think we all are just preschoolers at heart.  Not to call anyone juvenile but I think many of us, either due to stressors beyond our control, un-nurturing situations that have never allowed us to grow and develop or just stubborn willfulness, have acted like preschoolers. Certainly there is a growing concern and problem that individuals and groups of people feel that they are not being heard, that they do not have a platform to express themselves and consequently they act out in words, actions or deeds. 

I know for myself, when I have felt that I have not been heard, not been appreciated, and not been able to express myself,  I act out- feeling depressed, angry, and out of sorts.  

I wonder if the strategies taught to teachers and parents to help the preschoolers would be helpful to us? 

Lessons from Preschoolers:

1. Concentrate on what I can do, not on what I cannot
2. Redirect my thoughts when I am feeling upset
3. Find a comfort corner when I feel sad
4. Practice breathing, meditation, prayer every day
5. Respond to others' outbursts- with listening and redirection and not with big feelings too

What about you?  Have you ever felt frustrated that you were not being heard and understood?   Have you ever "acted out" only to feel guilty and ashamed of your preschool behavior?  What can you do to prevent that from happening?  What lessons have you learned from children? 

Labor Day Musings

According to the Department of Labor website, first Labor Day celebration was held on September 5, 1882 in NYC to celebrate the "creator of so much of the nation's strength, freedom, and leadership — the American worker."  Over the years other municipalities followed suit and had Labor Day celebrations.  It was finally in 1894 that Congress passed an act declaring the first Monday of September as a legal holiday. 

It seems to me that Labor Day is generally seen as the unofficial end of summer.  The focus is usually on picnics, family gatherings, and one final hurrah before the "real work" of fall begins.  In the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries each municipality would have a Labor Day parade usually followed by a picnic complete with games and sports for the children and adults.   I don't know of any towns in our area that do that now. 

Summer isn't officially over until the autumnal equinox (September 22) but as the day after, it does seem as if the climate has already changed and we are already into fall.  All those who were out of town during various summer vacations have returned: The adults are noted by the sights and sounds of honking (and gestures) of speeding cars.  The college students are noted by the sights and sounds of large packs of students walking to and from class (and parties). The neighborhood children are noted by the sights and sounds of games (and arguments) playing on the street.  The silent sanctuary that we enjoyed during the summer has been shattered. 

And that is okay.

The summer is a wonderful opportunity for impromptu gatherings, spontaneous trips and a laid back attitude. I think it is important to treat the summer time as if one is on holiday- to have a relaxed schedule. But as with too much of even a good thing, it gets old. By the time Labor Day rolls around, I am ready for a change. I am looking forward to a schedule and routine. 

Fall is my favorite time of year. Coming on the heels of summer and all the restoration that summer (hopefully) has brought, it seems as if it is the best time for being productive, creative and open to new possibilities.  I wonder if that is why the original celebrations were chosen in September?   As much as the labor unions wanted to celebrate the workers, it was a good rallying cry to gear up the workers for the last quarter of the year. 

Each fall, I regroup and rewrite my goals for the year.  It is an appropriate time to reflect on what I thought might be accomplished and to realistically revise what I can.  Usually I look at that list and what I haven't completed.  In honor of the original intent of labor day, I think this year I will reflect on what has been accomplished so far this year.  I don't know about you, but I can be pretty hard on myself- in all that I do and say professionally and personally.   I can give others lots of slack, grace and compassion but for myself- forget it. 

In celebrating the American worker, the creators of Labor Day were also giving the workers a full day to rest from their labors. I think one of our modern problems is that we never let our minds rest. We feel that we have to continually keep moving, keep innovating, keep working harder in order to keep up. Of course, no one really knows the true definition of "keeping up". In honor of the original intent of labor day, I am also going to (try) truly rest from my labors or at least for one day.

What about you?  As you move into the fall season, have you had a chance to rest from your labors?  Have you celebrated your accomplishments?  Whether that is through your job, your home, your social interactions, or your family?  Just showing up and being present might be accomplishment enough. Or knowing when no response was the best response in an emotionally charged "discussion". 

This week  take some time for Labor Day.  Celebrate all that you have done so far in 2016. And then, give yourself permission to rest from your labors.

The "Pro" in Procrastinators

Last week we were taking our son back to college.  It is a long journey and we forgot to take along an audio book.  Fortunately we were able to listen to an NPR station which had on their TED Radio Hour program.  It was fascinating. The topic for this week was slowing down.  (Click here for the program)

There were a series of reports on different ideas of slowing down.  One that caught our ears was the idea of procrastination.  Adam Grant is a professor, psychologist and author.  And by his own admission a "pre-crastinator"- someone who gets anxious if he hasn't completed his tasks way ahead of time.  

Even though it would appear that "pre-crastinators" get a jump on a goal, he has found that it is the procrastinators who are more original and creative. 

Being a recovering procrastinator, I was interested.  I have written and talked about planning ahead and have changed my own habits to allow time and space to do so. His research suggests that when we are faced with a challenge sometimes we need to put the work off for awhile. Who knew? 

He had many reasons to explain why.  Part of it he calls, serious uncertainty.  When you are uncertain you escape to something else, evenly passionately to avoid putting off what you were doing. It is during that time that the uncertainty stays active in the back of your mind.  We have a better memory of that which is incomplete rather than a completed task.  Once something is completed it is as if our brain says, "Okay that is over and done.  Wipe my hands of that and move on."  But if it is incomplete our mind keeps ruminating on it.  

In looking back, all my avoidance of a deadline in order to alphabetize the spices was probably my mind working on the task!   Seriously, he does make me reflect on how I do work.  Having a thinking type job, I need to figure out what is the best scenario for completing my goals. His study gives freedom to improvise and permission to change. As I am ruminating about an idea, I might decide to explore a totally different tangent. For example, he explains how Leonardo de Vinci took over fifteen years to paint one of his canvases. During that time he also explored the science of optics and the way light is seen.  His discoveries led him to paint in a different way- the masterpiece we know as the Mona Lisa. 

When is procrastination destructive or creative?  His suggestion: when actively grappling with a problem we can use procrastination to our advantage- to be quick to begin and slow to finish.  There is a learning curve of how to be skilled between toggling between creativity and productivity.  There is a time to ponder and there is a time to get going.  But we can give ourselves permission to hold tight, think a little and explore new ideas before we have to check another item on our to-do list. 

What about you?  Are you a "pro or pre" crastinator?  Has any delay in a decision, task or project resulted in a favorable outcome?  Or not?  In light of Dr. Grant's suggestion how could you have handled your latest project?  Do you need to slow down?  Or do you totally procrastinate, avoiding completely that which you need to do?  How can you jump start what you need to do?  Would knowing that you don't have to finish immediately (being slow to finish) get you to start quickly? 

What are the "pros" in your procrastination? 

What Sound Looks Like

A model was developed to understand relationships between measured sound levels and variables such as climate, topography, human activity, time of day and day of year. In general, the brighter the spot, the greater the sound intensity. Source:  National Parks Service

When I was a kid there was much discussion over noise pollution.  I don't remember that much was done about it but that there was a lot of talk about it.

A while back I heard a news story that was interesting; it mentioned how scientists are researching how human made noises affect the habits, habitats and ultimately the survival of animals.  The scientists have noted that in some natural areas, sound levels are decibels higher.   As one of the scientists stated, "Imagine you're an owl looking for your dinner," Fristrup said. "A three decibel increase in sound level cuts in half the area in which you could hear those sounds, he said. "So you are half as efficient in finding food, with a relatively subtle increase in background sound level."

The idea is that scientists are looking at ways to reduce the soundscape in national parks in order for the environment to be more natural for the animals. Makes sense.  We try to protect different species by ensuring safe habitats (e.g. the elimination of DDT for the sake of the progeny of Bald Eagle) but we forget that animals rely on all their senses.  For some hearing is the dominate sense. 

I notice how noisy my environment is when my husband and I sit on our screened porch and try to have a conversation.  Behind our home is a wide two lane road.  At times it is heavily trafficked as it is one of the major roads to two hospitals and a state university. If a large construction truck, ambulance, bus or a collection of fast moving SUVs ride behind, we sometimes have to halt our conversation in order to be heard.  And, we even have a barrier of trees and shrubs between us.  

When you look at the above map makes me wonder how much I, one lone person, can make a difference with my soundscape?  Living on the East Coast the map looks rather bright which makes me think the turn around is rather bleak.   Yet I do believe that we can make a difference, one lone person at a time.  Certainly we shouldn't have to halt all our noise but perhaps we can reduce it?  Can we eliminate loud powered motors some of the time?  One fewer car errand?  One fewer cuts with the powered mower or edger?  A petition to one's local government for an ordinate for some noise-free zones or noise-free times?

If we think our sounds don't impact the natural world, I have included a link to the David Attenborough's BBC video about the Lyre bird.  It is a classic example of how our sounds have changed nature.

What about you?  Have you ever thought about noise pollution?  How noisy is your environment?  Does your town or city do anything to limit noise?   Are you even aware of the noise around you? 

Click here to read the story.

Click here to hear the Lyre bird.

Heart Transplant

There was a heartwarming story (no pun intended) a couple of weeks ago in the wedding section of The New York Times. Ten years earlier, the bride had lost her father due to a fatal mugging (a sixteen year old shot him in the head).  The family of the deceased made the decision for organ donation.  The recipient, a gentleman close to the deceased father's age sent a note of gratitude to the family.  Over the years there was shared correspondence.  

When the wedding plans were made, there was discussion over who would walk the bride down the aisle. At the fiances suggestion, the bride asked the heart recipient. So, the gentleman who received the bride's father's heart walked her down the aisle. As the bride says a piece of her dad was with her. 

What a beautiful story and a generous gesture on both family parts; for the one who gave the heart away through organ donation and the other who returned it through an intimate gesture. 

What has touched me is the thought of our inter-connectedness with one another.  In this story there is an actual tangible connection and reminds us that we are connected to one another in some way.  With all our modern medicine and research there are still some things that cannot be duplicated and can only be shared. Organ donation, organ transplantation and even blood, platelets and bone marrow donation are still human based. For some it is an easy, relatively non-invasive thing to do and for others a final gesture of generosity.  It is a spectrum of personal and sacrificial sharing.  And it is necessary. 

I just cannot think of more poignant examples of why we need one another than to see a row of business suits sitting in chairs being connected to tubing for a corporate blood drive. Or the surgical blue hat askew on the head of a "stranger" being wheeled down for a bone marrow harvest to give to a child lying in expectation in the hospital ward above. Or the squeezing of hands between a father and daughter before one is wheeled into an operating room to have her kidney removed while the other is wheeled into an adjoining operating room to be prepped for the receiving. 

What about you?  Are you an organ donor?  Does it say so on your license?  Does your family know?  Do you donate blood?  If you are not able, have you ever helped at a blood donor drive?  Have you ever thought about being on a bone marrow registry?  

Below are some links to sites that maintain lists of donors as well as provide information. 

Click here to sign up to be an organ donor.

Click here to sign up to be a bone marrow donor.

Click here to sign up to be a blood donor.

Happy Birthday National Park Service

Yesterday, August 25th was the 100th birthday of the National Park Service.  President Woodrow Wilson signed the act that created the service on that date.  The national park movement is older than that.  On March 1, 1872 the first national park, Yellowstone National Park in the (then) territories of Montana and Wyoming was established.  From that time forward the parks have grown.  Currently there are 400 areas of national parks comprising over 84 million acres of land in the 50 US states, District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, Saipan, and the Virgin Islands.

This past week some members of my family and I went to visit Harpers Ferry National Historical Park, Harper's Ferry, WVA.  It was a picture perfect day and a good time to go.  Not too crowded (schools are beginning to commence) but not too desolate (we were not the only ones present at some of the talks). I have been to Harpers Ferry before but each time I go I learn something else. 

Harpers Ferry, Bolivar Heights Battlefield which overlooks the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers and the towns of Bolivar and Harpers Ferry.  The ridge on the left is Maryland and the ridge on the right is Virginia.  

I have found that I learn something new every time I visit any of the national parks.  The park rangers are quite knowledgeable and even though they may give the same "spiel" it is always with a different slant. Plus, in some of the parks they are constantly uncovering new information about the history that took place.  It is also interesting to note that not all parks are in rural environments.  There are national parks in the major cities and in all topography.   I have never been out West to see Yellowstone and the other "famous" parks but I have been to a lot on the East Coast.

I highly recommend visiting any of the parks. It is fun to explore, it is educational and supports our country's need for open spaces. It also is instrumental in retaining our history and in binding each of us together as Americans through our shared experiences. 

What about you?  Have you ever visited a national park?  If so, which ones?  If not, why not take a weekend or day trip to do so this fall?  Or, plan to visit one of the "popular" ones next summer? 

And while you are there, enjoy the birthday celebration. 

Click here to visit the National Park Service website.

Click here to download a copy of urban guide to national parks.

In this Day and Age

This past week I heard another story on the radio about women and the difficulty of their lives.  The thought came to mind that in this day and age it is still unbelievable that we have racism, sexism, and poor treatment of others.  For all our accomplishments as humans, we still hear story upon story of age-old problems: hunger, disease, warfare, hatred, discrimination, and domination.  As a species, have we learned anything? 

But then I thought, why does it have to be the negative?  Why cannot we say, "in this day and age.." of things that are positive?  In this day and age, can you believe that we can talk to someone across the world?  In this day and age, can you believe that surgeons can stop a heart and replace it with another?  In this day and age, can you believe we can open a metal box and find something to eat?  For the general population we no longer have to spend most of our days hunting, foraging, sowing and harvesting.  For many of us we do not have to worry about shelter, food and our immediate survival. 

If we have advanced beyond the basics, are we improving the lives of others?  Are we moving beyond a day to day existence to something more?  

I am reminded of the Biblical story of Esther.  She was the only one in a position to save the lives of her people. As her uncle reminds her, she was born for such a time as this.  The question becomes in this day and age and in this time and place, am I helping to improve the lives of others?  

I think all of us are born for such a time as this.  For whatever reason, and it is partly our responsibility to figure out our purpose, we are born into our set of circumstances: family, time, place, temperament, gifts and graces. I am living in this day and age.  The next question becomes, how am I living it? For the improvement of myself and others or as a repetition of the same old human condition?

What about you? Have you ever felt that you were born for such a time as this?  Or do you feel that you are a pawn in the game of life and that you don't have much say in the matter?  I believe while we cannot change some of the basic facts of our place and time of birth, we can choose to embrace and improve the situations we find ourselves. 

In this day and age we can choose to focus on the positive and the improvement of the day and age. 

Heaven Here On Earth

Yesterday I heard a heartwarming story about a former ESPN producer and two of her documentary subjects.  Lisa Fenn was sent to cover the story of two Ohio high school wrestlers. One boy was a double amputee due to a train accident and the other boy was blind due to Leber's Disease. When she first went to Cleveland to cover the boys' last high school career wrestling match, all Lisa knew about their story was what she had seen through a picture of Leroy being carried by Dartanyon.  She said she had never seen a picture like that before.  She did her story and what unfolded is truly a miracle of how community, friendship and love can change a world. 

Carry On:  Leroy Sutton and Dartanyon Crockett (picture from www.bostonglobe.com, June 30, 2016)

She was touched by what both boys had experienced in life and decided that she just couldn't walk away. Long after the cameras left, she remained in their lives helping them with college and future plans.  

In reading Lisa's story I am so touched.  It is a story that is so encouraging and up lifting. It is a story that demonstrates hope in a world that desperately needs it.  It is a story of how we can live in community and how we are called to care for one another.  It is a story that provides a brief glimpse into heaven here on earth.  

But it is more than a one-sided tale.  It is not all about Lisa and her help.  If it were all about Lisa and how she helped the boys it would be another story of a do-gooder getting involved with someone less fortunate.  Certainly there is an appropriate time for that kind of assistance.

But for true transformation in societies there needs to be true charity; a recognition that we are in this time and in this place for a reason. And that I am no better, no worse than the person next to me.  I can help that person and she can help me. True charity is a recognition of equals- you and I were formed in God's image. We share a connection. Once that connection is realized we can move on in the sharing of our lives, in the understanding of our differences and in our celebrating our similarities. 

 The boys benefited from financial aid certainly, but they also benefitted from the stability that Lisa's love provided.  They in turn gave Lisa a deeper understanding of resilience, determination, courage and loyalty. They all realized that we find our lives- experiencing joy, love and community when we lose our lives- giving away any preconceived ideas, fears and prejudices. 

It is a story of the bonds among the three of them and how they have forged a family. I find the story of the boys and their resilience in the face of unsurmountable odds- amazing.  What is it about their characters that they did not succumb to the pressures of their environment?   I find the story of Lisa amazing as well.  Prior to this story, she had produced many heartwarming human interest stories. Something in this story connected with her.  And she let herself be connected to it. She was open to take a risk and be stretched in ways that she never had been before.

What about you?  Have you ever had the opportunity to meet someone different than you?  Were you able to make a connection?   Do you recognize the similarities in the people you meet or just the differences?  Have you ever taken the risk in reaching out to someone who is different than you?  Have you ever taken the risk of responding to someone who reached out to you?  What is your community like?  Have you ever experienced a glimpse of heaven here on earth? 

Click here to see the ESPN video and read LIsa's story of why she stayed.

Do You Appreciate Sunsets?

One thing about vacation, we are definitely outside more.  We have the good fortune to stay in a place that has a lovely deck.  We eat all our meals out there- breakfast, lunch and dinner.  If we are not eating at home, we will choose to sit outside at a restaurant (dependent upon the weather) or picnic al fresco. 

Where we vacation has wonderful sunsets over the beach so we are encouraged to get outside to witness them.  

Why do we take the time to appreciate our surroundings only during vacation?  Why not every day or at least a couple times a week?  

Just as I do not think extremes work for the human condition- whether it is extremes in diet or exercise- so too do I think we should not be extreme in our lifestyles.  We shouldn't be all about play or all about work.  As they say, we need to stop and smell the roses.  With that analogy, it doesn't say stop and spend all day in the rose garden, but rather stop and take a little time to appreciate your surroundings. 

A vacation is a gift of time- almost as if time could be parceled out and with a vacation one doesn't have to worry about wasting it.  One usually doesn't have any major responsibilities during a vacation.  I like to use the time of vacation to reflect on my goals and to see where I have been and where I am going.  If I have veered off course, this is a good time of reflection to get back on track. It is a good time to plan for future changes and tweaks in my lifestyle. 

For instance, I want to be more intentional with the balance of work and play. I realize that I am feeling stressed with trying to get everything accomplished in one day. If I just parceled out what I need to accomplish in smaller chunks during the day and throughout the week, I would enjoy all that I have to do.  No longer would I be pushing from one "to-do" task to another.  I would have to time to appreciate sunsets more. 

What about you?  Have you noticed your surroundings?  How do you balance all that you have to do in a day?  Do you find that you are rushing from one event to another without any clue on how each event went?  Have you seen the sunset lately?   

Summer Movies

As I shared last time, there were two movies that we saw over vacation that we liked:  "The Finest Hours" and " St. Vincent".  In some ways, both were stories of unwittingly heroic people.  One was based on a true story and the other was a story.  They were inspirational, encouraging and life affirming. 

St. Vincent is the story of a "young boy whose parents have just divorced finds an unlikely friend and mentor in the misanthropic, bawdy, hedonistic war veteran who lives next door."   The movie stars Bill Murray, Melissa McCarthy and Naomi Watts. Great acting (the child actor who stars as the young boy is wonderful) and a feel good movie.  Reminds me that unlikely heroes are all around us.

"The Finest Hours" is the true story (as only Hollywood calls "true") of the greatest small boat Coast Guard rescue of all time.  Four Coast Guard men in a 36 foot Coast Guard motor boat made the daring and miraculous rescue of 32 merchant mariners during a Nor'easter off the coast of Chatham, MA in 1952.  The mariners were stranded on the stern section of the SS Pendleton.  The Coast Guard men had to navigate through an extremely difficult section of sea (the Chatham bar- area of lots of shoals, shifting sands and where the waves make traversing perilous) We saw the film in Chatham and listened to a brief discussion and Q&A by the author of the book with the same name.  

The thing that I find amazing about the rescue- all four men would say that they were just doing their jobs, nothing heroic or extraordinary.  In fact, they never wanted to talk about their story. All four men selflessly chose to risk mortal danger in the attempt to rescue others.  By all accounts, they never should've made it. 

During the Q & A after the film, the author relayed that one of the seaman after leaving the coast guard got a job as a janitor at an elementary school.  As the author said, "How many of those people walking past him each day realized that they were in the presence of a true hero?"

Makes me wonder, how many people do I pass each day who have an extraordinary story? Or, in encountering people like the irascible Bill Murray character in St. Vincent, do I write off and think that they have nothing to contribute?   Both movies remind me that I need to listen more to the people with whom I come in contact.  Both movies remind me that I need to take time to get to know others and to hear their stories.  Both movies remind me that I need to be empathetic to those whom I encounter. 

What about you?  Have you ever encountered someone who had an extraordinary story? Someone who, unless you took the time to listen, is overlooked?  What did you learn?  How did that person's story inspire and encourage you? 

Click here to read about the rescue.

Click here to read more about the rescue.

Summer Entertainment

What have you read during your summer?  What movies did you watch?  Did you go to any shows, plays or concerts? 

I did some reading over our vacation. Of course I brought way too many books for the time allotted. But what I did finish were interesting.  I also saw a couple of movies.  Unfortunately, we did not get to any live plays during our stay. Where we vacation there are a bunch of playhouses- catering to both the amateur and professional actor.  The venues are these wonderful and charming old theaters.  Very intimate.  In the past we have enjoyed patronizing them.  Alas, we just couldn't get to do everything this vacation.

My vacation reading list:

"The Greengage Summer" by Rumor Godden.  I have always wanted to read one of her books. I found this one at a thrift store.  It took me a little bit of time to get into it since the writing style is dated (book published in 1958).  It is a coming of age story of an impoverished English girl who spends the summer with her family in France. A situation occurs and the children are basically left unattended in a foreign land.  Their observations of the world in which they find themselves is interesting. It is a fun read with an insight into a by-gone world. 

"That's Not English" by Erin Moore.  A sociology-lite book regarding the differences between British English and American English.  Witty and entertaining but not too heavy.

"Rush Oh!" by Shirley Barrett. The fictional story of whaling in New South Wales during the 1910's as seen through the eyes of the whaler's daughter.  (The author based the main action on historical facts- the aboriginal method of using killer whales to help the whalers and the main whaler character)  Very funny in spots with a host of eccentric characters. An unusual and unpredictable story.  Some criticisms- was a little disappointed in the ending and the foreshadowing throughout the book was disrupting to the flow of the story. 

"Short Novels of Colette".  I have heard so much about the famous French author so I thought I should read some of her stories.  I was very disappointed and only read two of the short stories, "Cherie and The Last of Cherie".  I might have had difficulty since this is a book very much of its time.  The various stories were first published in the late 1920's, early 1930's.  I did not find any redeemable or likable characters in these two short stories.  I also had difficulty understanding the dialogue- who was speaking, to whom and about what?  Perhaps it was the translation and if I could/would read it in French would I then understand?  I might go back and try the rest of the short stories, but then again, life is too short and there are too many books to read that I want to read.  (I have found that when a literary book has a long and glowing introduction that needs to explain the book that is to follow, it is generally a dog of a story.)

Books I haven't gotten to yet:

"Between the World and Me" by Ta-Nehisi Coates.  My husband and son read this book while on vacation.  My turn next.  It is essentially a letter from the author to his son explaining his take of race in the world. 

"The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got That Way" by Bill Bryson.  My husband is reading it currently.  We always enjoy Bill Bryson's work.  Witty, informational and well written. 

"The Art of Grace" by Sarah L. Kaufman.   From the book jacket, " Humanity at its finest is merely what Sarah Kaufman is offering in the inspiring, uplifting book, and we could all us a bit more of that in our lives."  

The movies that we saw:

• "The Finest Hours"- I will blog about this movie and the following one in a later post. 
• "St. Vincent"- (See above comment)
• "Captain America: Civil War"- Latest installment in the Marvel franchise. As with all sequels, most of the movie is the perpetual set-up of the next movie. One could possibly have a post movie discussion regarding the role of freedom and authority yet it seems as if the writers put those ideas in the trailer in order to make this movie seem loftier than it is. It is just a fun film to see and hear Robert Downey Jr's sarcastic quips. 
• "The Guest"- Could have been so much better with a little more tweaking of the screenplay. Only thing good about the film- fun to see Dan Stevens (of Downtown Abbey's Matthew Crowley fame) in a totally different role and with an American accent. 

What about you?  What has been your summer entertainment?  Read or see anything that was amusing, life changing, entertaining, sad, touching? 

Re-Entry

How are you in coming back from vacations?  Ready to get back home? Anxious about what awaits you or what you will find?  Sad to leave the vacation environment? Ready for a vacation from the vacation? Rested, rejuvenated and ready for action?

I have experienced all those emotions after various vacations. Over the years I have found the best way to come back from a vacation is to plan for the re-entry. It might make the preparation for the vacation a little more hectic, but it is worth it.  Vacations are a natural break in our daily lives.  We can clearly distinguish "what we did before vacation" and "what we will do after vacation".  Coming back with a 're-entry" plan helps make the transition back to normal a little bit easier.  

I like to leave with the house clean and in order and to finish any projects on which I was working. Turns out I am not the only neurotic one.  In the last Real Simple magazine they asked readers what they do to help ease back into reality after vacation.  Here are some of the suggestions:

• End a vacation on a Friday or take an extra day off so that one has an extra day to do laundry, get groceries and plan for the upcoming work week.
• Either do laundry before one comes home or put the dirty laundry in a separate bag so that starting the laundry is easy.  (I generally do a load almost immediately on coming home, while I am putting away the other things from my luggage.)
• Set a vacation picture on your computer desktop.
• Have a prepared meal frozen, ready for when you come back. Ask a friend or neighbor to thaw the meal in the refrigerator the day before you are coming home.
• Have a "gift box" from vacation sent to you. During your vacation, collect local artwork, postcards and other vacation memorabilia and have it sent to you at home a day or so after you get back.
• Have a neighbor or friend stock your fridge with perishable essentials- milk, bread, fruit, eggs, etc. so that you have breakfast food the first morning back and don't have to rush right out to the store. 

When I was a kid, my grandmother always had our family over for a light supper the day we returned from our vacation.  It was a way to catch up and see her but it also (now that I am an adult and recognize such things) a wonderful gift for my mom in helping her ease back from vacation into daily life.  Gram would also put items in our fridge for the next morning breakfast.

The tradition was handed down to my mom who would stock our fridge on our returning home from vacation.  We carried the tradition on with my in-laws. When they would go out of town on golf trips, we would have them over for dinner when they got back and stocked their fridge with food.  So too did they reciprocate to us. 

Times have changed.  My father-in-law died three years ago. My mother-in-law doesn't drive and doesn't live around the corner any more. No more will I see the my mom's infamous notes in her beautiful handwriting telling me that there are eggs and milk in the fridge and bananas and zucchini bread on the counter.  

What about you?  What can you do to make your "re-entry" into reality easier?  How can you make it easier for someone else?  A neighbor, friend or relative? 

Words Matter

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." ~ Children's playground chant.

On the news  there was a brief announcement on the crack down of the journalists in Turkey.  After the coup on July 15th, they have been shutting down at least 45 newspapers and 16 TV stations. 

Makes me think of something Madeleine L'Engle wrote.  On her passport she had writer listed as her occupation. One time she had the opportunity to travel to the Soviet Union and was denied access due to her profession.  At that time, anyone who could possibly intellectually challenge the citizens of the state by having them independently think was a threat to the society. 

For all our worry about physical threats, it is our words that  should be our concern.  It is a false statement that names will never hurt us.  They do. What we say, when we say it and how we say it are vital.  It can make the difference between encouragement or discouragement, an opportunity or a challenge, or even life or death. 

Freedom of speech should never be taken for granted and should always be protected.  Books, newspapers, and articles should never be censored even if we don't like what is found in them.

But if we are the author of the words we should take care.  What we say does matter.  Our freedom of speech means we have a responsibility not to unduly provoke or hurt others. We should use our words to encourage and uplift one another.  To help expand one's thought processes and horizons. To be a blessing with our words, not a curse. 

Ah, if only our politicians felt that way.  

What about you?  Have you ever been hurt by someone's words?  Have you ever hurt someone with your words?  How can you take care in your speech?  Wait some time before responding to an email or phone call? Have words ever provoked you to action? What were some life-changing words that you might have read or heard? 

Words matter.  Thanks goodness they do.

An Hour a Day Keeps the Doctor Away (or at least some chronic illnesses)

The other week there was a new study from the Norwegian School of Sports Sciences stating that one should exercise 60 minutes for every 8 hours of sitting. In exercising we help stave off or reduce the risk of some chronic diseases such as cardiovascular disease or type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome. This is another study to suggest that we need more exercise than previously suggested. In the past, the American Heart Association touted 30 minutes a day while the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have suggested 150 minutes a week. 

While it recommends more daily exercise it still acceptable  to break those 60 minutes into smaller chunks of time.  In some ways that makes sense.  If we are truly building movement into our daily lives we cannot compartmentalize it into a set time like we do for attending a meeting or concert.  For some that might work, but for the rest of us we need to not think or plan our "exercise".  We need to do it as a matter of course throughout or day. 

I have found that I need to break up my work day with ten minute increments of moving.  It might be taking a short walk around the block, going up and down the stairs, or doing some stretching of my back and arms.  Recently I put some small weights in my office.  When I get stuck in my writing I like to take a break from the computer.  I do some arm exercises to strengthen my triceps. I find that I am still thinking of what I need to write or do but that movement helps get the blood flow moving. 

Some other ideas for 10 minute increment exercise:

• Take a lap or two around your office floor. If you have to talk to a colleague ask if he/she might want to join you for a walking meeting.
• Walk around your office parking lot or neighborhood during lunch time. 
• Use the stairs instead of the elevator.  If your office is on a top floor, take the elevator up halfway and then walk the steps for the remainder floors.
• If reading an article online, try standing up and marching in place while reading.
• During TV commercial breaks, do sit-ups, jumping jacks, jog in place or seated leg lifts. 
• Walk to the convenience store when you need a paper or milk.

What about you?  Have you ever assessed how much movement you get in a day or a week? What prevents you?   What are some small ten minute "exercises" you can do?  

Click here to read the article. 

Quotes

As I have posted before, I love quotes.  I love the turn of a phrase and the order of words. In one of my forays at a library book sale I purchased a small volume, "The Change-Your-Life Quote Book" compiled by Allen Klein.   Below are some of the ones that stood out to me:

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right."  ~Henry Ford

"To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have."  ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

"Count your blessings, not your crosses,  Count your gains, not your losses.  Count your joys instead of your woes, Count your friends instead of your foes.  Count your health, not your wealth."  ~Old Proverb

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."  ~ Mark Twain

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." ~ John Wooden

"Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."  ~Wayne Gretzky

"You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now.  How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged.  Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."  ~ Dale Carnegie

What words of encouragement or appreciation can you bestow on someone today? 

Tidying Up

 l love the word tidying. It sounds so cute, so benign, so Goldilocks-ish.  It is a word that explains what you want to accomplish and how you go about it.  It evokes an activity that is not too strenuous nor too ineffective.  It is just right. 

There was a very interesting article in The New York Times Magazine about the author, Marie Kondo and her book, "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up".   Seems that Ms. Kondo has quite a following of people who swear by her methods.  Her whole premise is that the items in your household and eventually in one's life should bring you joy. 

Like so many ideas that abound, this is nothing new.  As I have posted before, the 18th Century English textile designer William Morris felt that one should have only beautiful and useful items in one's home.  Basically, only have things which bring you joy.   It makes sense that in order to appreciate those beautiful and useful things you have to be able to see and find them.  In essence, have a neat and tidy place.  But as with all things that seem simple, it is very hard to achieve. 

There are a myriad of books on the market about getting organized. There are a ton of organizational tools and systems. They all are a means to the end- getting rid of items in your life that take up valuable space, time and resources. What isn't necessarily mentioned in any of these processes is that in order to get rid of anything you have to sacrifice it.  You have to make a choice to remove the said item from your midst. I think there is the rub.  We cling to our things. We want it all. Even if something is not useful or beneficial we still want it around, "just in case." 

It is not only physical items.  We hold on to emotional baggage and mental images that only clutter our lives. For nothing less than to show that we have/had something-an emotional draining relationship, a self-pity party or a poorly acted upon decision.  It is almost as if we have to tightly grasp these situations to prove that we exist.   Even if it was/is harmful to our psyche, it was/is something nonetheless. 

I know for me, it is until things get to the point that I cannot stand the clutter that I will then be ruthless.  It is then that I say, "this needs to go".  Of course, everyone in our household has a different tolerance point of when things need to go and there too can be the rub. 

That's why I like the word tidy.  It seems doable.  I can work on the emotional, relational, and physical stuff that is cluttering my life. I don't have to do it all in one day.  Tidying seems to be a word that is done in smaller increments. I think, "I can talk to that person and straighten out one of our issues."  "I can let go and remove the worry scenario replaying in my mind." "I can tidy my office today and start on the corner of my basement tomorrow."

What about you?  Do you have a tidy life?  What do you do when things get messy? Does the clutter bother you?  At what point do you say, "this needs to go"?  Do you even notice clutter in your life? What is your method for tidying up?   

Taylor Swift- We Need a Hero

Confession time.  I have been interested. Nope, let's be honest, I have been obsessed with the Taylor Swift/Tom Hiddleston romance that has unfolded over the internet this summer.  Not only the romance, but also the publicity war over lyrics to a song by Kanye West.  Who knows what is the exact truth to any of the "reports" (mostly made up stories) on the internet.

But what has struck me is the passion with which people write or comment about this woman and her personal and professional life.  One would think that those who are commenting had personally been affected by the star's behavior. Granted, we are in an age and she is of the age when self-disclosure and self-promotion are the norm.  It is very rare when people do their jobs quietly without a tweet, Instagram posting or snapchat. I am learning that in just doing this blog and writing in general, it is expected that I self-promote. As an editor pointed out to me, we are in the age of social media. Social network means having to be social- one has to disclose and share.

But there seems to be a yearning for someone to arise from the smoldering ashes of our volatile society. Someone who seems above the fray.  Someone who doesn't stoop to another's level, who behaves in a decent way and who is humble.  Almost by definition, the person who behaves in that matter is not going to be splashed all over the internet.  Short of that, we want someone who portrays the qualities of niceness, goodness, and honesty, but also who is strong, smart and looks pleasing to the eye.  In essence, we are looking for a hero.

The thing is when we look for a human hero, we are greatly disappointed.  

Perfect as someone might try to be eventually they will fail. The higher we place someone on a pedestal the farther they fall.  The taller someone sits on his high horse, the greater the distance to the ground.  We become disenchanted so quickly. When someone doesn't behave in the manner we think their persona should do, or doesn't do, say or give us the thing that we want, we are quick to label, name call and vilify those that "hurt" us.  Seems silly when most of the time we don't even know the person. 

We do this all the time with celebrities and politicians. I think we also do it in a lesser degree with our own personal interactions. Generally it is with people we only know superficially and so we go by what we see- the neighbor with the beautifully maintained yard, the immaculately dressed and always prepared co-worker, the smiling parents on the soccer sidelines or the "everything is fine" parishioner .  We go through the mental exercises of thinking so and so is perfect, "everything always works out for them", and when we hear or see a crack in their perfect veneer we are quick to help widen that crack through our words, "I am not surprised that they had trouble with (fill in the blank) ...", or with our thoughts, "I might have my issues but at least I don't have (fill in the blank) ....".  We place that person in a ladder comparison game with us pushing the other down the rungs while trying to move up by our own smugness.  Ultimately it is a game in which no one wins since the ladder isn't stable to begin with. 

The only way to stop the comparisons, to remove the pedestals and to stable the high horse is to replace it with grace and mercy. Ironically our "hero worshipping" should prove to us that people will let us down, that we cannot assume anyone is perfect and that we need to dispense grace to others just like we need grace. Every online story about a celebrity  should remind us that we too have our own issues. 

We all have fallen short of where we need to be in God's eyes.  And there is nothing we can do about it. We cannot do enough good works, rule following or perfect behavior. Yet in the compassionate nature of God, He has provided a way that we can be right in His eyes. We can do the simple act of believing that there is a true hero, a savior who walked among us and who rescued us from not only original sin but from our judgmental, hypocritical, individually sinful selves.  When we place our trust and faith in Him we will never be disappointed. 

What about you?  Who is your hero?   Have you ever been enamored by someone you only to discover they were not what you thought?  Have you ever been disappointed by the behavior of others? Have you ever been disappointed by your own behavior?  Do you need to dispense grace to others?  To yourself? Do you need The Hero in your life? 

Restful Reflections

I am looking forward to our vacation this year.  We have the privilege to go away to our beloved Cape Cod.  And I do recognize that it is a privilege.  Not everyone gets to go on a vacation. 

The thing that I love about going away is the preparation and anticipation of a time when things are not part of our normal routine.  We have time to sleep in, to have uninterrupted conversations, to spend time as a family, to have time to think and to dream. 

The only thing is that in my preparation I almost always overestimate the amount of time we have away.  Just like I overestimate a room's dimensions in my mind's eye especially in planning furniture arrangement, I think that we will have loads of time to bike, play tennis, go to the beach, kayak, canoe, stroll down town, attend a local play, go out to dinner, watch the stars on our lovely deck, sightsee in Boston or a neighboring town, visit one of the Islands, read the dozen or so packed books, mentally prepare for the fall and its activities.  Phew! Just listing all the things that I think we might accomplish is exhausting and goes to show that I need a restful vacation with no agenda.  

So, I have decided to just let the vacation unfold as it will.  Sure, we have our bags packed with our books, tennis rackets, bike and beach gear but there is no pressure if we don't use all of it.  I am giving myself permission to have a complete break if I want. The important thing is that I am going to try and be mindful and enjoy each moment. 

While the preparation and anticipation is fun for me, the real joy comes with the actuality of the life lived focused on the present.  

What about you?  Do you have vacation plans this year?  What types of vacation do you take?  Are you good at just chilling out or do you have a hard time turning off the "to do" list?  How can you focus on the present, whether that is during a vacation or your normal week?