Recently in The New York Times Magazine there was an article about serving weekly meals to friends and families. The author was highlighting her new book, “See You on Sunday”. She shared a recipe from her book and described what “see you on Sunday” meant. For her it is not so much about the meal but rather the weekly date of sharing a meal with others.

I also listened to a recent British podcast, Happy Mums, Happy Babies in which Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (Kate of the British Royal Will/Kate/Harry Meghan saga) is interviewed and shares her experience with motherhood, childhood and her childrearing/life philosophy. Catherine speaks about the importance of simple things in one’s life: spending time with others, really listening, getting back to nature, etc. She says one of her favorite photos is of her daughter Charlotte, leaning over and sniffing a bluebell.

Smelling the flowers. Looking someone in the eye and really listening. Avoiding the fast talking repartee of sound bites.

Sharing a simple meal together.

In this month’s The Atlantic magazine the cover article “Is the Nuclear Family Dead?” is written by political and social commentator David Brooks. He provides “evidence” of not only the decline in the nuclear family but that the nuclear family was an anomaly to begin with. His premise is that extended family or tribe or people grouping is what provided the nurturing and growth of humans. It is in the collective sharing of life that allows one to thrive.

He explores various factors of economics and behavior. He notes that the nuclear arrangement seems to work for people who can pay others to provide the support work of the family, yet for those economically challenged nuclear families when extra help is needed, there is not a social structure in place. The ideal of the nuclear family was just a post WWII fairy tale. In all other times in history a larger circle of care was always available.

( Obviously the Duchess of Cambridge really doesn’t have to worry about child care when she goes out on a meet and greet and if she has folks over for dinner, does she really do the entire meal and prep for entertaining? Plan the menu, purchase the food, cook the meal, lay the table, tidy the house, tuck away Will’s or the children’s work and toys? )

As David Brooks notes by using the movie Avalon as an example, we have gone from regular gatherings of extended family- gatherings in which life is exchanged, the family knows what is going on in each other’s lives- to the “gathering” of one or two, hurried meals in front of screens- not even one television screen for all but each individually watching a screen. As he reports, all this individualism is not good. It is bad for one’s health and for the health of the community. I know I am guilty of not knowing what is going on in the lives of my extended family. No one lives near each other and we get busy with our own lives. While I might listen to their situations, I am not one to share a lot of info about my life with them- in a weird way I feel that I am “bragging” if I mention any blessings in our immediate family or that they have enough going on in their own lives and do not need to hear from me.

His remedy is to return to the extended tribe- whatever that might look like for you. With the way work is and our globalization, it might be hard to stay where the extended family is located. We might be in a place where we have to look for others around us. To look for community wherever that may be found- quite possibly at a simple Sunday meal.