Dolly Parton and Jesus

This past week, Dolly Parton died. There have been a plethora of tributes and opinion pieces for her. As one writer said, the loss people felt, especially the Tennessians, was similar to the loss the UK felt towards Queen Elizabeth II’s death. Both women’s lives and deaths were seismic.

All the tributes mention her magnanimous kindness and generosity. Her heart was larger than her personality if that could be possible. The tributes also call for people to be kind and loving towards one another. If only we could practice and treat people with just one iota of what Dolly did, the world would be a better place.

And perhaps they will. For a day. When they think of Dolly. But then they will be on to something else. Or onto another news cycle.

Why can’t we remember the encouraging lessons and positive actions of others? To let the lives of others touch ours in a long-term way? We hear the stories and think how wonderful of that person but we don’t take to our hearts the lessons and therefore we forget quickly.

I wonder, if Jesus had lived in our times, would His seismic crucifixion, death and resurrection be just another fifteen minutes of fame? And then we go onto another news cycle?

Is that why we, forgetful humans that we are, have to celebrate communion regularly? In the traditional Christian religions of Catholicism, Anglican/Episcopalian, and Lutheranism, Communion or Eucharist is generally celebrated every Sunday. Part of the service is calling the participants to remember. Remember Christ’s sacrifice, love and grace for us as well as calling us to remember the lessons Christ imparts.

Not only are we called to live better, but we are called to encourage each other to live better.

I think of our dear friend Jim. Many times I remind myself how Jim lived: caring for everyone he met through his seeing, hearing and wanting to understand how each person ticked. I, too want to treat the people I meet in the same way. HIs life has shaped mine.

As I write this, I am sitting at the hospice bed side of my uncle. I think of the memories that have been shared and the eulogy that will be spoken. While he wasn’t the easiest of individuals, especially in his dementia years, he was caring for many people. As Mister Rogers would say, he was a helper. My aunt spoke about him being the “father figure” to many of his students. He helped many of the older people in his neighborhood, continually, in addition to family. If you had a problem and asked him about it, he would be there to help. While to some he may have seemed severe, he did have a good sense of humor. When he was younger, he was quite a practical joker.

I think of what I have learned from him: he was logical, didn’t suffer fools, had a high sense of integrity, an uncompromising honesty, and a strong work ethic.

What about you? Are there lessons you have learned from those who have gone on before you? What were they? Or, have you forgotten those lessons?

The Bible reminds us that we are not alone on this journey. Not only do we have the hand of God with us, we also are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses who have gone on ahead. The lessons we need to learn are universal: developing relationships, showing kindness, living with generosity, extending grace and loving unconditionally.

And so we hope. We hope that those people who have been touched by Dolly- through receiving her books through Imagination Library, scholarships through Dollywood Foundation, care through her medical and healthcare contributions, or solace and inspiration in her songs, will remember her life and therefore live into those lessons.

Pretty Actions

We have a volunteer squash plant in our garden. Not sure how it got there since I did not plant it. Regardless, for most of the summer it’s been growing and developing beautifully- healthy green leaves, solid stems and large yellow blossoms. Yet, for the longest time, in inspecting the blossoms, there were only male blossoms. No females. All show but no results.

But, then I thought, perhaps I could use the blossoms- either fry them or put them in a salad.

One evening I decided to collect some blossoms. By evening the blossoms close up but I wasn’t concerned, since I was going to slice it rather than stuff, bread and fry. As I opened the first one to begin slicing, I met, not one, but two unhappy bees. Guess they were bedding down for the night- a little yellow blossom “hotel”. I quickly put the bees outside. When I started the same process on the next blossom- once again I met two bees inside. Guess I uncovered a bees’ convention.

My idea for at least using up parts of the sterile squash was foiled. I now had a decision- do I just pull the plant as it is beginning to block my tomatoes? Or leave it, since the bees are enjoying the blossoms? It really looks healthy. Being the indecisive gardener that I am (I HATE to pull any plant) I left it alone.

Well, low and behold- the girls have arrived! Last evening I noticed that bulbous end of one the blossoms that indicates a female. Hopefully we will finally see what type of squash this is.

But before this new arrival, every time I looked at the healthy yet unproductive plant, I was thinking of the old adage, “pretty is as pretty does.” The plant might have been beautiful, but without the fruit, it’s “actions” weren’t good.

I thought of those people who are touted as wonderful based on either their looks or some type of external feature like wealth. People who are judged and treated differently just because of their outward appearance. But if their behavior, character or actions are not sterling, it doesn’t matter what their exterior looks like.

In this social media culture of doctored pictures- either through filters, lenses, deep fakes or AI- it is harder and harder to know what is the truth? What is real/unreal? What is just a facade and “unproductive”? What is just a masquerade?

The issue of knowing what is true and what is real is nothing new. And it is nothing new for something to be just a facade. Jesus talked about how one can tell another’s character by their “fruit”. In other words, by their actions. A person can talk a great game but if they do not have the actions to back it up, they are just like the beautiful but unproductive squash.

In exploring our new home state, we have gone to Newport a couple of times and have toured the mansions of the “Gilded Age”. But gilded is not golden. Gilded is “having a pleasing or showy appearance that conceals something of little worth.” Sadly, gilding can fool people into believing what lies underneath is solid, true, even golden when it really isn’t.

Ironically I found online the following resources on how to find reliable sources. Sources which are true and real. (Source: https://screensanity.org/blog/social-media-fact-checking/ Good website for parents navigating the online world )

• Practice “click restraint.” Wait 15-30 seconds before you click, looking for the most reliable sources.

• Pause before you repost. Though it can be easy to quickly repost something that sparks your emotion, it’s best to pause and fact-check before you do.

• Verify the source. Look for a blue badge next to the profile image. This means the account is widely known, and not a fake account. (For a fun quiz to test your ability to spot fake news accounts — known as “Trolls” — check out spotthetroll.org)

• Evaluate the source’s feed. Click on the profile linked to the source of information. Who is behind the account and what do they have to profit? Look at the follows and read the conversation in the comments. Is this sponsored content? What are they selling? Is this account someone you trust? Why?

• Ask a trusted adult. Let your child know they can come to you for advice when they are in doubt about whether or not news is credible. Even if you don’t know the answer, this can be an opportunity to model fact-checking and mentor your child in the online world.

Additional Sources:

• https://utopia.ut.edu/FakeNews/factcheck - University of Tampa

• https://help.unhcr.org/czech/safe-online/information/- good definitions for misinformation and disinformation.

Even with the techniques and tools to try and discover what we are reading, seeing or hearing is solid and true, we still can be fooled. At those times, it just comes down to waiting: eventually the truth will prevail and show up- much like my late blooming ladies.

Vulnerability

“I believe that every issue we face – whether busyness, failure, shame, transitions – every issue is intended to lead us to God. Our tendency is to let our problems separate us from God and one another – but instead, they can become tools to allow us to deepen our spiritual lives, and to in turn change the world!”

—JANE RUBIETTA

The above quote is from an author whose book I am reading and discussing with friends. This quote spoke to me about how we should be living in community: sharing our issues and struggles with one another and with God. It is the vulnerability that produces growth. Vulnerability is another side of the coin of humility.

I’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability. Having moved to a whole new community- new neighbors, new norms, new friends- in the last third of my life, I have had to be proactive in meeting people. It is not that easy for a private more introverted person. I have found the folks whom I have met to be so unpretentious and genuine. Not that where we used to live, were pretentious folks but there was a different feel to the environment. Here people take the time to say hello and to get to know you.

[Although, as I am writing this, I am reminded of a women I’ve met from here. She had moved from Maine to RI when she was younger. Her experience was just the opposite: she felt that the Rhode Islanders were very standoff-ish and unfriendly compared to the Mainers. Go figure.]

I am reminded of the story from Benjamin Franklin. The best way to make friends is to ask another for a “favor”. “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

It is not so much of the favor per se, but that in the asking, one makes oneself vulnerable. There is humility in asking.

Of course, we cannot go around wearing our hearts on our sleeves. And yet, it is important to share with others, when appropriate, what we are experiencing. Our trials are the foundations that builds communities.

And so I am trying. I remember my dad telling me that I shouldn’t let others know when I was down or out. I took it to mean that I had to show perfection, or at least to not share any problems with others. “Laugh and others will laugh with you. Cry and others will laugh at you,” he said.

Partly that was his generation of the stiff upper lip (although he was the more emotional one of my parents). Partly he was thinking that I would be protected from hurt, either through ridicule, teasing or general meanness.

I have come to the point in my life, that if I am to be bothered by ridicule, teasing or general meanness, it is the price to pay for genuine community and relationships, both with others and with God. I cannot say that I am entirely immune to comments, etc but as one ages, they become less and less bothersome. Or so I hope.

Emotional vulnerability is the glue that holds community together. It is in our sharing with one another that we build up each other. It also benefits ourselves. According to Psychology Today, vulnerability can ease anxiety, strengthen relationships and help one become more self-aware.

That self-awareness brings empathy. That empathy brings understanding. Understanding fosters grace. For if I recognize the hurt, shame, embarrassment, in myself, I am more aware of it in someone else and more likely to be tolerant and loving of the other person.

One of the great divides among people is the thinking that everyone else “has it together”, so that “something must be wrong with me” and the “I am the ONLY one” and therefore alone. Sadly the “perfect reels” of Instagram and Tiktok are deceiving. Nothing could be further from the truth. The most honest communities (like AA or NA) are the ones that fess up about the problems and issues and then move together towards understanding, accountability, improvement and healing.

A great example of community through vulnerability is the priest and author, Henri Nouwen’s story of the Daybreak community. The Daybreak community is a home in Canada for people with and without intellectual disabilities, part of the international L’Arche movement. Nouwen was priest there and lived among the community.

He tells the story of “Adam” and how it took at least a dozen or so individuals to care for Adam throughout the day and night. Adam was by all accounts, a “vegetable”. But this person, this embodiment of total vulnerability drew everyone together. For as Nouwen explained, the individuals were strangers before they cared for Adam. But after being part of Adam’s care team, they were now friends/family. Community was built via the vulnerable. Click here to hear an excerpt of Nouwen talking about Adam.

But more than the above, emotional vulnerability brings us back to God and to being open to God working in our lives. God longs for us to share with Him our fears and failures. To be honest and vulnerable. It is then that we can be open and receptive to what God is doing in our lives and to where God is leading.

Jane Rubietta is right. Once we are open to God and to others, there is nothing that the bonds of community cannot do.

Gardening

At our get-away cottage, we have a fence that runs along the property line on both sides of the back yard. When we bought the house, the fence on the north side ran right against the grass and was just the perfectly location to start a shade garden. I had envisioned a row of hydrangeas growing along the fence and so I dutifully edged out a bed, turned over the dirt, and planted my propagated hydrangeas.

Unfortunately, all the plantings in that bed have not taken. Now after several years of planting other hydrangea plants, I am wondering about the soil. I’ll need to have it tested (which I should’ve done in the first place).

This past Sunday we read about the parable of the sower. The sower spread seeds on rocky, thorny, and good land. It was only on the good land that sustainable growth occurs. It occurred to me that if the sower wants to have a sustainable crop, she has to prepare and tend to the soil in order to receive and grow the seed. I think of how many times we want to skip the tending step (ok, namely I want to skip steps). I want to go right to the reward of the beautiful flowers rather than working through the preparing, planting, weeding, and tending the space.

As our priest was sharing her sermon about the parable, I started thinking about the preparation and process that we need in order to be ready for any growth, whether that is growth in our spiritual, emotional, mental or even physical lives.

Test the soil: See what pH you have and if you need to do anything to augment it. Starting new endeavors sometimes requires a test run. We might need to give ourselves a set amount of time (six months, one year, etc) to see if the new endeavor takes hold, if it is really for us or if we are truly called to it. Other we might need to find out more information about what we want to do.

Prepare the beds: Turn over the soil. Get rid of weeds, roots, or stumps- anything that will impede the development of the plant. Sometimes it is getting rid of habits, certain harmful relationships or even physical “stuff” that prepare us for receiving something new.

Add compost: Compost is taking that which is discarded and seemingly worthless and letting time turn it into black gold. What have we experienced in the past, that which might seem worthless, discarded or rotten could possibly become something that prepares us for the new future.

Know the plants: Right plant for the right growing situation: Like knowing the soil, it is good to know ourselves and what we need to flourish.

Water and fertilize: Generally we can’t just stick plants in and watch them grow. We have to provide nutrients. To keep them from getting parched. I think of our spiritual life. We need to keep watering and fertilizing our knowledge of God through the reading of scripture and through prayer. We need to be connected to God so that when times are tough, we have a foundation to see us through.

Weed and Deadhead: Usually a weed makes it self known quite early in its growth process. That is the time when it is easiest to remove it. But one needs to be vigilant and to observe and remove it in a timely fashion. Same with removing spent blossoms- in doing so one can reap the reward of a second bloom.

Enjoy the bounty: Nothing makes my happier than to see a jumble of cut flowers from my garden spilling out of a pottery jug. The colorful flowers remind me to enjoy and celebrate every moment, for their blooms are fleeting.

Put the garden to bed: As the seed and plant finishes its cycle for the season, it is time to let it rest and rejuvenate. There are times when we may not seem to be growing but the fallow season of rest is just as important as the growing season. Shrubs and trees planted in the fall use that fall/winter season to grow deeper into the ground. We do not see any growth above, but much work is being done to establish roots.

What about you? What kind of soil do you cultivate? Are you producing good plants in your life? If not, what do you need to do?

The one thing about gardening that I always have to remind myself: it is an organic process. Just like life. While I might strive to get it right each season, there is always something that I will learn, need to correct, or figure that I will just try again.

Happy New Year

You’ve probably heard of “Christmas in July” but how about “New Year’s in July”?

I heard an interesting interview on the Canadian Broadcast Company radio. A professor from one of the universities was talking about just that- celebrating New Year’s in July. July 1st is Canada Day and the professor being interviewed suggested that July 1 is a good day to restart any resolutions or goals. His point was that most people have New Year’s resolutions but January 1st puts too much pressure on people. He notes that January 1st is too close to the holidays-one is usually exhausted, there may be financial pressure from overspending, the weather isn’t conducive to being outside and working on any physical goals, and in general, goals started at the beginning of the year usually do not last more than a week or two. Plus, there is an addition of guilt- either feeling one has to have a goal or guilt when stopping the goal.

Anecdotally that is probably true. While there are those individuals who are extremely goal oriented and might succeed in their goals, for the rest of us, not so much.

I’ve been thinking about projects and items I want to accomplish this summer and this year. I have mentioned this before about my lists. Theses lists are ones that I transfer from week to week, month to month and sadly, even year to year.

I’ve been thinking about why I put off some of these items. Especially when I do care about accomplishing them. For if I get a chance to work on even a part of the list, I feel so much better. So why don’t I, as they say in the Nike world, just do it. I have friends and family who are in a similar situation: things that they want to do or accomplish but just cannot seem to get it done.

The goal management people would say: break it down into doable chunks; make it realistic; set a timeline; even give yourself a break occasionally. And I will try that. I’ll even have a “schedule” to implement my small goals.

But then something else comes up and those goals go out the window.

The thing is, I am disciplined. Just like my family and friends are and, I suspect, are you. We accomplish tasks (while they may not be written goals) like regularly fixing meals, caring for our daily personal hygiene, tending to our homes, our families, or showing up to work.

What about you? Are you a disciplined person? Do you have goals for yourself? Have you achieved them? What stands in your way?

According to Forbes online: “Goals are sophisticated procrastination disguised as productivity and progress. You spend time creating the perfect objective, starting the work, then hoping motivation carries you through. It rarely does. According to the University of Scranton, 92% of people fail to achieve their New Year's goals. The better approach is creating systems. Daily actions tied to identity over outcomes.” (Jodie Cook, Why 92% of People Fail to Achieve Their Goals. forbes.com. June 27, 2025)

The Forbes article makes me think of the book, Atomic Habits- tiny habits that build on one another and over time, can make big changes. Yet still, even doing that, I still can’t seem to “just do it” on certain goals.

So I’ve been thinking about the different reasons that thwart my accomplishments specifically. Perhaps these are universal to all? I am wondering if the bottom line to these reasons might be fear?

1) “Savior” complex. I do try to put others’ needs before mine but it seems as if every time I embark on one of my goals- inevitably something- another person’s situation pulls me away. Most often it is a legitimate need that needs addressing. Do I do this because of some deep “savior” complex or reverse pride of appearing to be humble and servant-like? Or am I afraid others won’t like or love me if I do not help with the need?

2) Fear of accomplishment. What would happen if I actually completed those goals? There are a couple of goals that I don’t even begin because I am afraid that I could fail in my attempt to achieve them. But what would happen if I succeeded? Recently I watched the documentary on Netflix about Martin Short. He would say that his career was made up of 98% failure. He just kept going.

3) Letting go. Some goals require letting go. Exchanging what is known for the unknown. What would be the worst scenario of that goal. Worried that which you gave away would one day be needed? But when that time came would you still be the same person who would want the old situation, relationship or item? The thing is, the unknown may be even better than the known.

4) Physical change. Aging? Medical changes? Health improvements? Do I have to adapt to a new “normal”? There is always the chance of being hurt or uncomfortable before a positive occurs.

I found this interesting TED talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J6jAC6XxAI (A word of caution- In the first couple of minutes of the talk, the speaker mentions his attempt to take his life when he was a young man. That is not the point of the talk, but rather it was a wake-up call for him.)The speaker draws upon lessons from Stoicism. His goal plan is actually a three-page “fear” plan. Starting with the worst case scenario, he helps you figure out that which you can control and that which you can’t.

Page 1: He starts with asking, “What if I ….?” Under three columns you will make a list:

• Column 1: What are the worst things that can happen if I take this next step/action or accomplish this goal? List 10-20 items.

• Column 2 : What can I do to prevent or decrease this from happening? Next to each item in column 1, write a corresponding prevention or decrease action.

• Column 3: If this happens (column 1 item) what repair can I do or whom can I ask for help? List those corresponding things. As he points out, most likely you are not the first person in the world to have whatever situation or item you listed occur. There are others who have experience and possible advice.

Page 2: What benefits will occur if I complete or even attempt this goal of “What if I ….?”

Page 3: (Which I thought was a very interesting exercise) What will this cost me if I do not do this plan? If I stay with the status quo? Think about emotionally, physically, financially, etc.

• Write the answer out in terms of staying in the “status quo” mode for 6 months, 12 months, and 3 years. What is the cost?

As I struggle with this, I cannot help but think of the Apostle Paul and his words, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15 NIV). Me too. I hate writing the same goals year after year. It is time for a change in the approach.

I think as I round the midway of 2026, I will write out my “fear” plan. Perhaps I can tackle the real motivation behind what I do and not do. My prayer for you and myself is that we might accomplish the goals and activities for 2026 that are in our hearts and minds. Happy New Year.

Prep for the 250th

Are you ready for this year’s Fourth of July? Our country’s big 250th. Do you remember our 200th? Where were you?

I don’t remember the actual Bicentennial Fourth of July day. I cannot remember if my parents had their summer house by 1976. If they did, then most certainly we went to the Fourth of July parade in town. (We did that every year after they had the house.) I do remember watching the tall ships entering into NY harbor on the recreational room television in our NJ home. In checking good ole google, that occurred on Sunday, July 4th so my family must’ve been in NJ for that day. So much for memory.

I do remember going to visit the Freedom train when it came through. Many of the artifacts were items I had already seen during history trips with either my parents or grandmother. One of the perks of living on the East Coast- much of the Revolutionary history took place nearby and so it was easy to visit the actual sites- but there were other Americana items that I hadn’t seen.

I’ve been thinking about one of my relatives- William Morris who fought in the Revolutionary War and his family. Were they divided in the sentiments for separating from England? While some of my ancestors were English, most of the family were either Dutch or French Huguenot. Did that change one’s allegiance?

The family story is that one side of the family were Loyalists and not in favor of rebelling. They moved to Canada during the conflict. And as far as I know, that part of the family never reconnected until almost two hundred years later when my dad and mom met another couple on a cruise who were part of “that side of the family”.

William, who served in the war was a drummer. He enlisted/reenlisted seven times during the course of the conflict. According to his record, he would serve his time, six months or so, and then reenlist. He was in the Battle of Trenton, part of the Sullivan expedition and was in an artillery company that captured a British vessel in Elizabeth, NJ. For some reason between the spring of 1777 and the summer of 1779 he didn’t enlist and he must have been home. Did he come home and work on the farm? His final enlistment was on a privateer “Rambler” which was captured by a British Man-O-War, “Amphitrite”. He was on the infamous prisoner ship, HMS Jersey that was in New York. How he survived is a miracle. At the end of the war he was part of a prisoner exchange in Hampton, Virginia. Again, how he got home from Virginia is another mystery.

I just can’t imagine war on our shores. Of course, it could happen as it did in the past. I think of the logistics of war- transporting the troops, feeding them, the amount of resources and energy it takes to keep things going and then there is the toll on the land and place where the conflicts take place. When you learn about their provisions, I always think- how did they survive? How did they have any energy to march to all the places much less fight? I always think, what would I do in such and such a situation? Certainly I feel a strong desire to protect my family, friends and those who are most vulnerable. (Heck, I have become THAT woman who yells as cars as they travel too fast for our quiet street. I would do anything to protect the children who walk past my house to school and play in the neighborhood.) But at what cost?

Did William agree with all that he signed up for? In reading a little about the Sullivan expedition, I was horrified to find that it was a scorched earth policy and a retaliation to the Iroquois Nation for an earlier massacred of Americans by British backed Iroquois warriors. War is hell. No one wins.

To me, the whole idea of war seems ridiculous in this day and age. For all our technology and learning, one would think we would have moved beyond the basic war mongering and that we would want to keep developing and building up our society and culture rather than destroying and tearing it down.

Sadly, nothing has changed in human behavior and mindset. Like grabby toddlers, we return again and again to the “I want…”, “I need…” stage of life- with the emphasis on “I”. We are now in a position that not only do leaders want something from other countries, but there are definitely needs (like water resources or areas too hot to live) happening in the world that have become power grabs. We need an adult to step in and say, “Use your words, Why not share? or How about you swap and let Billy have your truck while you play with his ball.”

Yet, I am very grateful for those who fought for our freedom. Suffering unbelievable conditions. They sacrificed. Both those who fought and those who stayed home. Even those gentlemen who signed the Declaration of Independence sacrificed, knowing that they signed their death warrant. A treasonous act on paper if ever there was one. If we hadn’t revolted, what would our country look like today?

What about you? Do you remember the Bicentennial? What are you doing for the Semiquincentennial? Is your neighborhood, town, city doing anything special? What would feel “American” for you? Reading or watching any patriotic books or films? Biographies?

Thinking back to our Bicentennial, it seems as if the country was very excited about it. I don’t get that same enthusiasm today for our Semiquincentennial. Perhaps it is because that is not an easy name to say? Do we feel less American today than before?

The thing that always gets me about our country is the care we have for others. I recently heard that even with all our federal aid cuts to various programs, still America is one of the most generous countries on earth. With all these latest entanglements, I pray that we do not lose that virtue or our empathy towards each other.

It is in our connections with one another- meeting our neighbors, sharing our stories, living life with one another that makes us Americans.

As Americans who tell our story, we cannot forget nor exclude anyone: those whose ancestors were here at the dawn of time to those who just arrived on our shores. There is an interesting project happening through Story Corps: conversations between Americans. The Library of Congress will create a recorded archive of a conversation between American strangers. Check out connect250.org.

This summer there are a few things I would like to see and read in light of the Semequincentennial: Ken Burns’ The American Revolution; The Crooked Places Made Straight by Senator Rev. Raphael G. Warnock; The Lost Founder: James Wilson and the Forgotten Fight for the People’s Constitution by Jesse Wegman; Stealing America: The Hidden Story of Indigenous Slavery in US History by Linford D. Fisher, and The U.S. Constitution by Melissa Murray.

As with all anniversaries, birthdays and any milestones- it is a good time for reflection and projections. May we, as Americans reflect on our past- the good, bad and ugly and then, learning from our mistakes, move forward into a more hopeful and promising future.

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Received in the mail yesterday the next book from Guideposts: Too Amazing for Coincidence. I share a story about God’s miraculous provision for us in our time of need.

Ramblin'

When I was a kid growing up in northern New Jersey, there was a radio program in the morning- Rambling with Gambling. WOR 710 NYC. My mother loved listening to it. The radio announcers became part of the family. As was written in the NYTimes obituary for the second generation announcer: (There were three generations on the radio- each named John, but identified for listeners by adding their middle initial to their name.) “For loyal audiences in the millions, ''Rambling With Gambling'' seemed as reliable as the dawn, and John A. Gambling as familiar as an old friend at the breakfast table: a warmhearted optimist who broadcast news and sports, traffic reports and school closings in a calm, easygoing baritone.”

The thing about the morning program was that my mother was obsessed with the weather and traffic reports. “Shh,” she would admonish, “It’s almost time for traffic and weather.” The weather I could see. It may affect her commute to work or ours to school- Did we need to wear our boots? Pack an umbrella? But I could never understand her obsession with the traffic. These were traffic patterns for NYC. Her commute didn’t take her anywhere near the city. I guess she took perverse pleasure in knowing that she wasn’t going to get stuck in it that day.

Amazing to me that the wall is so straight- even after 2,000 years. The Roman engineering was incredible.

One of many ladders that we traversed over the walls.

We just had a lovely holiday to the UK: spending time in Edinburgh, walking along Hadrian’s wall for a couple of days and then spending time in London. We did a lot of rambling around. What is lovely in the UK is the have public foot paths- relatively well-cared for paths indicated by worn down paths that traverse along a pastural fence line. Every once in a while we would come across a stile or a gate. They weren’t straight forward gates. One had to enter a small pen and the gate would swing, you would have to squeeze around and then close the gate behind you. Only one person at a time could go through. It took a little maneuvering especially with back packs. Or it might be a ladder over and then down the other side of a stone wall. All were to ensure that the animals, sheep mostly would not escape.

According to another walking traveler we encountered, the “right to roam” act was enacted after WWII for the citizens to be able to use these public foot paths. Researching it, it appears that while that might have been true, it wasn’t until recently that the courts have been involved and there are specific laws on whether landowners receive compensation for passage. I am sure that there was much controversy (and perhaps still is) over the public walking on private lands. One of our rambles on Hadrian’s wall passed right in front of a lovely house. We did see some signs that in essence told the walker that you had the right to traverse the land by the generosity of the land owner. Mostly, the signs were simple wooden ones, pointing to the public path.

Rambling: proceeding without a specific goal, purpose or direction. Sprawling. Long-winded.

Rambling. Connotes getting to a destination but not necessarily any strict schedule for the journey.

Rambling lets one open to possibilities of finding activities, places and people that one didn’t expect.

Our ramblings along Hadrian’s wall found ourselves at a quintessential looking pub: complete with low ceilings, dark exposed ceiling beams, paisley wool carpeting, small round tables and stools, cushioned benches and a pleasant looking, cheery land lady. Perfect for a cup of tea after travesing the ups and downs of the the windswept landscape.

Makes me want to continue the rambling attitude now that I am back ensconced at home.

How does one do that? Seems as if once one come back from holiday, one has to hit the ground running: playing catch up for the time gone and heading back into responsibilities.

In a sense, I am at a loss. What to do? I am trying to live in the present. Our whole holiday was that way but it was easy to do because those two weeks were set aside and free of any responsibilities except to get to the place where we were staying each night. How to capture that attitude? Feeling? Are there practical applications?

What about you? How are you in returning from a holiday? Do you get back into the routine? Quickly? Slowly? Are there any practices from your holiday that you carry over into your everyday routine? If so, what are they?

I think rather than finding some prescribed list of things to do once one returns from holiday or some psychology to help one “reenter” everyday life, I think I might take a page from Emily Dickinson.

“I hope your rambles have been sweet, and your reveries spacious.”

May you, dear friend take some time to ramble and to daydream as if you were on holiday. I know that is what I plan on doing.

Quotes

Do you have any particular quotes that you love? That inspire? Perhaps convict? How about poetry? Prayers? Phrases? Even bumperstickers?

I love a good turn of phrase and a good quote. Perhaps like I, you collect quotes: jot them down, commit to memory, or keep them written nearby?

Here are few that have spoken to me recently:

We can’t change the direction of the wind but we can adjust the sails. Indian proverb

“Life is short, and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who make the journey with us. So be swift to love, and make haste to be kind. And may the blessing of God, who made us, who loves us, and who travels with us be with us now and forever. Amen.” ~Henri Frederic Amiel

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn. Latin proverb

“The only thing that you absolutely have to know is the location of the library.” ~Albert Einstein

Changing your angle by 1 millimeter can turn a failure into a hole in one.

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.” ~Mark Twain.

“Love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that makes you smile.” ~Mark Twain

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A Franciscan Blessing: 

May God bless you with discomfort

At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,

So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger

At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people,

So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears

To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war,

So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and

To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness 

To believe that you can make a difference in this world,

So that you can do what others claim cannot be done,

To bring justice and kindness to al our children and the poor. 

Do With What You've Got

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbxGvsNWfY.

While I was attending to my garden, the above song played in my Spotify list. I had never heard it before but was stopped in my gardening project to really listen to the words. “It’s what you do with what you’ve got,” that got me. My dad used to say, it is not how much money one makes but what you do with it that matters. I don’t know if my dad was always thinking about being as altruistic and generous as the rest of the song implies but it gave me a remembrance smile.

It is such a timely message during these turbulent times.

For it seems as if a typical reaction to when things are difficult is to shelter in- like a turtle- draw yourself into your little shell of a home and hope the predator goes away. Or, another typical reaction is to blame others for one’s predicament. Which can either cause resentment, bitterness or victimhood.

What I like about this song is the reminder that our lives are all about sharing and caring for one another. And, it doesn’t matter the circumstances of one’s birth: into what family you’ve been born, what socio-economic class, or what physical, social or even spiritual gifts you’ve been given. What matters is what you do with what you have.

Similar to Jesus teaching about one’s talents. It is important to grow and develop those talents. It is important to grow and share what one has.

Recently I heard an illustration about heaven and hell. In both places a banquet is occurring. In hell, all the individuals are shackled on their arms. As such, they cannot feed themselves and the atmosphere is one of deprivation. In heaven, the individuals are also all shackled on their arms yet there is an atmosphere of joy and celebration. The difference- in hell each is trying to reach one’s own mouth with food and it cannot be done. In heaven, each is feeding each other and so everyone gets fed.

There is an interesting organization: The Human Generosity Project. According to its website: “The Human Generosity Project is the first large-scale transdisciplinary research project to investigate the interrelationship between biological and cultural influences on human generosity. We use multiple methodologies to understand the nature and evolution of human generosity including fieldwork, laboratory experiments and computational modeling.” (humangenerosity.org). Through this project and information, the researchers are trying to understand and apply human generosity to resource management and disaster recovery.

What about you? Do you make due with what you have? Do you share? Do you use/share your talents, circumstance, time or treasure for others?

• It's not just what you're born with

• It′s what you choose to bear

• It′s not how big your share is

• But how much you can share

• And it's not the fights you dreamed of

• But those you really fought

• It′s not what you've been given

• It′s what you do with what you've got

More and more I am praying for a generous heart and spirit. Not just with time, talent and treasure but also with my attitude towards others. Especially towards those I might not have (seemingly) anything in common or with whom I do not agree.

Back in the Day

Have you heard of the expression, “Back in the day…”. Back in the day, times were simpler. Back in the day, this place was hopping. Back in the day I could eat anything and not gain weight.

Recently, I have been hearing from different folks, in different settings, all referring to some type of back in the day. The theme through all these laments is a wistful look at the past and how much better things were than in the present experience.

I get it. I have been in new settings where the people in the new situation don’t know my past, my background or even what I looked like. There have been times when I want to preface every explanation- “if you knew me then…, if you knew my family history…, I used to…” Many of us end up driving through life looking at our rear view mirror. I know that I have been guilty of that at times.

I had once heard a gentleman say, if you drive a car by constantly looking in the rearview mirror, you cannot go forward for very long without running into something.

As much as I miss some things from the past, I don’t want to stay there. I need to look forward. I need to live into my present reality.

It makes me think of the Hebrew people and their journey out of Egypt. For much of their time in the wilderness, they kept looking back at their time in Egypt and not seeing their present and future reality. While the past was slavery and their present and future was freedom, all they could see was the familiar provisions of the past and missed the miraculous present provisions.

I wonder, when I concentrate on missing the past, what am I missing that is right around me?

Of course, we should be retrospective at times. That can help in our current understanding. But to be continually focused on retrospection, will not move us forward much.

What about you? Do you think of situations, “back in the day…”? Do you lament a past? Are you so focused on what is behind you that you miss what is happening before you?

The thing is, most times the “back in the day” wasn’t so great. Just like the Israelites “forgot” about the horrors of being enslaved in Egypt, we can forget that the good ole days weren’t necessarily always so good. But, we can, with hope, look to our present and future, knowing that if we at least focus on where we are headed, there is a good chance we can get where we are going in one piece.

Day#40-Easter

Day#40- Easter. While I know that Easter will be tomorrow- in preparation for it-what does Easter mean to you? Family dinner? Church? Chocolate? Have you ever sat with the idea of Jesus dying and being raised from the dead? That God truly cares about you? God loves you just as much today as God did yesterday and as God will in the future. There is nothing you can do to earn that love. Just accept it. Sound preposterous? What other “preposterous” ideology might you hear? If you have never been to an Easter church service- why not check one out tomorrow? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day #39-Hopeful

Day #39-Hopeful. What makes you feel optimistic? Or confident that an expected outcome will occur? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day #38-Sacrificial

Day #38-Sacrificial. Have you ever had to give up something for another? Has anyone done so for you? What was it like? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

April Fools

Today is the Wednesday of Holy week. It is also “April Fools’ Day”.

The origin of April Fools’ Day is inconclusive. Many theories abound. Did it first occur when the Gregorian calendar switched? So those, who continued to celebrate the new year in April rather than January 1st were “fools”? Was it linked to the ancient Roman festival of Hilaria-in which people wore disguises and mocked others? Or is it tied to the vernal equinox- the first day of Spring in the Northern Hemisphere when Mother Nature tricks us into thinking it is warm? In Scotland they celebrate “hunting the gowk”- gowk a cockoo bird or symbol for fool.

However its start, April Fools’ Day continues to be “celebrated”- sometimes businesses or news organizations pull pranks on the public or school-aged youngsters practice the age-old “kick me” notes on the unsuspecting victims’ back.

I was thinking about the word “fool”. I am sure that those who were present in Jerusalem during the week of Jesus’ triumphant entrance and then betrayal, trial, and crucifixion thought Jesus was a fool. First of all, He entered into the city, not with big fanfare as fitting for a king, but rather riding on a donkey-not quite the visual of strength and power. During His trial, He did not even attempt to defend Himself, nor did He, who had performed miracles, do any miracle to save Himself. For those who thought power and might are the wisdom of politics and social standing, they must’ve been deeply disappointed and perhaps, angry. Why did they waste any time listening to this “fool”?

But, as is typical of God’s way of doing things, what God values is not what humans value. God’s ways are not our ways. God is always upending and turning around what we, humans, think is important, strong, or wise. Just like the choosing of King David- God saw David’s heart, the inside of a person rather than any outward appearance.

The Apostle Paul writing to the Corinthians reminded them that God’s power is not like humankind’s: “For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength”. (1 Corinthians 1:25 NIV)

On this April Fools’ Day, I have been wondering how I may be a fool? Do I align with God’s “foolishness” or with the world’s “wisdom”? Am I following Jesus’ example of being a servant? Do I serve in humility? Am I patient and loving towards people with whom I disagree? Do I love them despite our differences? Sadly, I think that I lean more or at least am influenced more by the world’s wisdom than God’s. It takes courage to be the “fool”. It takes strength. Holy strength.

What about you? Which way do you lean with the world’s “wisdom” and God’s “foolishness”?

Our current world is gravitating more and more to aggressive power and might. Forcing people to “behave” in a way that conforms to whatever is decreed by the person in power. It can be quite debilitating to try and live life in a way counter to that “wisdom”.

However, Holy week reminds us that there is hope. Jesus came into the world to save us from our sinful selves. God loves each one of us so much, that God was willing to send Jesus to be the sacrifice for each one us. As we say each Sunday in the Episcopal service: Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again. That means, that though the world and all its wisdom and strength seems to have “won”, Christ, in His humility and “foolishness”, has the final say. We would be wise, or should we say “foolish” to follow His example.

Day #37-Unique

Day #37- Unique. Do you know a person who is singular? One of a kind? Or a situation? What are the qualities? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day#36- Perky

Day#36-Perky. Do you know someone who is lively? Cheerful? Alert and full of vigor? Are you? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day#35- Breathtaking

Day #35- Breathtaking. What have you seen that is extremely beautiful or exciting? Something that caused you to breathe differently? To pause? Moved you to tears? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day#34-Inventive

Day#34-Inventive. Do you recognize original thoughts or new designs or new creations? Do you have them yourself or see them in others? Do you encourage yourself and others to explore new things? Do be inventive? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day#33-Joyful

Day#33-Joyful. Is you heart glad or delighted? Do you radiate that joy to others? Why or why not? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com

Day#32-Loving

Day#32-Loving. Where have you witnessed great care of someone? A person who is affectionate, tender, warm? How can you show care to others today? How can you be more loving? #40DaysLentenEncouragement #40DaysofEncouragement #40DaysofGoodShit @virginiaruth010 wellofencouragement.com