Waiting

How are you with waiting?

One would think, we would be better at waiting the older we get. But it seems not so much. Well, at least in my experience of aging parents and, admittedly, my aging self. I seem to be more and more impatient with the “I don’t have time for this” mentality.

I remember in the last decade or so of their lives, my parents and in-laws could be impatient. It was strange because, except for my mother who always seemed a little impatient, the other three seemed to have the patience of Job.

Ask anyone who has had to transport an elderly loved one, and you will get an example of elderly impatience. The process of getting the elderly person in and out of the passenger seat, especially if the elderly person has a walker, rollator, wheelchair or any type of mobility aids, should be the new Olympic sport: one has to park the car; unhook one’s seat belt, double checking that one has pocketed the car keys (getting locked out of the car by a happy-button-pushing passenger does not make for a pleasant experience); run to the back of the vehicle; open the trunk and remove said medical assistive device; unfold and ensure that it is properly set up; wheel it to the passenger side of the car; open door, maneuvering the device in just the right place; lock the wheels (a crucial step- trust me), reach over to unhook elderly person from their seat belt. Then immediately change one’s body movements-slow down your actions (if not, your anxiety will transfer to the situation and the elderly person) and gently help them swing their legs over the side of the car ledge (protecting their head from hitting the top of the door frame) in order to have them stand and transfer to the chair or to place their hands on walker, ready to walk to the entrance of the doctor’s office or store.

This is the ideal set-up when the elderly person sits in the seat waiting for you to open the car door and help them unhook the seat belt.

What generally happens is that the elderly person starts to feel for the door handle as you are turning into the parking spot in order to open the passenger car door as soon as the car stops. “Just wait and I’ll be there to open the door for you in a sec.” you request in a gentle voice. Most times the request goes in one ear and out the other (or maybe just not “heard” at all.) Which then requires you to move through the process at double speed all the time requesting, “just wait, please” until your voice becomes an Ethel Merman bellow, “HOLD ON.”

It always amazed me that the same person who would take for-ev-er to walk from his room in the assisted living wing to the dining room less than thirty feet distance (I would trip over my feet trying to slow down my stride) could be out of the car with feet dangling or upper body dangling (if he forgot to unhook the seat belt) in a matter of seconds.

I kind of wonder- is this another sign of the circle of life or at least the bell curve of life? We start out as impatient infants and we end up as impatient elders with an apex of seemingly rationality in our adult years. There is an interesting 2024 study archived in the National Library of Medicine that seems to conclude that older adults, more so than younger adults are more susceptible to be influenced by the impulse of others. Of course, the researchers note that there are other studies that show quite the opposite. Regardless, it made me think of both my mother and mother-in-law. Both women were strong individuals with strong opinions and were never swayed by others’ opinions. And yet, in their old age, they were influenced by what the other women were doing, wearing, saying in their respective retirement communities. They were impatient to have those experiences. Many a time, I found myself taking one of the parents on an expedition because they had to do something that they had heard the others talking about. I have fond memories of taking my ninety-two year old mother-in-law jeans shopping. She got it in her head, after seeing some of the other residents wearing jeans, to purchase a pair for herself.

In some ways, why not be impulsive and somewhat rash? Time is not on one’s side.

Although, it is not just the young and elderly who are impatient. Most of modern society are more and more impatient and do not want to wait. We have devised ways around the waiting (pay for the express lane or fast pass lines) or ways to be “entertained” while we wait (short videos on Tik-tok/Facebook, etc.) We can blame our smart phones, technology, and social media outlets for causing our impatience and distraction but we seem to not be able to get out of the cycle. The truth is, we have let those tools rule our lives or at least a good part of our days.

Many years ago I went to a talk at our church. The speaker was discussing violence and television shows and the effect on children. There was concern about what to do about it since all the studies concluded that the violence on the television wasn’t good. The response- do more studies. I came home and said to my husband- I don’t think we need more studies. It seemed simple to me- just turn off the telly. Don’t watch the violent shows.

I feel the same way with our ever quickening technologies- they keep pushing us to think, react, and make decisions faster and faster, which doesn’t seem like a sustainable long term plan. Of course, there are situations where the new technology is a God-send to people. But the overall, day-to-day experience is not good in the long run- physically, emotionally, mentally even spiritually. While the modern technology has connected us globally, it also has divided us more-a modern tower of Babel.

This is the Advent season, the season of waiting. Waiting expectantly for the birth of the Messiah- the One to save us from sin and oppression. For those who follow Jesus- we know the story, we know the outcome and we know why we wait. But do we know how?

Do we wait with wonder and awe- that the God of the universe cares so deeply about each one of us, that He came to earth and dwelt among us? To rescue us from sin and death, if only we believe? How do we respond to that? Do we share that Good News with others? Do we wait expectantly for peace and joy, that can only come from God? Is there a place for impatience? Should we be impatient and demanding that justice be done? For those who are lost, to be found? For those who are hungry, to be fed? For those who are marginalized, to belong?

As our priest has challenged us this Advent season- is God waiting for us? During this Advent season, is God waiting and expecting more from us? To be more loving, more kind, more gentle, more merciful? Is God waiting for us to be more patient- with ourselves, our families, our neighbors, even our enemies?

So, how are you at waiting? Are you waiting for God to do something in your life? Are you waiting for a Savior? Is God waiting for you?

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, Start All Over Again...

Well. I had my 15 minutes of shame. Actually it wasn’t that bad just disappointing.

I did have my meeting with a person in acquisitions for a publishing house regarding my book proposal. While I prepared as best I could, in essence it was a “don’t call us, we’ll call you” type of meeting.

Yes. I did learn some things with this process and yes, I will continue on with the manuscript and yes, I will try and get it in the hands of some other publisher. But for now I feel kind of bummed, embarrassed and silly.

Have you ever tried for something and been disappointed with the outcome? Stumbled, fallen, not made the mark? You get up and look around, hoping no one saw the tumble.

Of course, I am aware of the people who have stumbled, fallen, not made the mark and then, after persevering for a while, sometimes years, things fall into place and they have their dreams realized. The writers who have tons of rejection notices to their name, only to have someone pick up their manuscript and now they are best-selling authors. Or the film script that gets rejected for years only to finally be picked up and becomes a blockbuster, Oscar winning film.

But I also think of those creatives who keep plugging along with their writing, music, painting, acting, film making and never get picked up. Yet they keep going. Doing it for the love of creating. Many times what they create is just as good, even better than what is in the “successful” realm. Their work may not touch millions but they may touch the one in a million person who needs to hear what they have to say.

It is an interesting place to be- the soul shaped desire to create just for creating itself. Knowing that if one doesn’t do any creating, one’s soul is chipped away, like water dripping on a stone- eventually holes will form and the stone changes shape. To stay “in shape”, to stay sane; therefore, one needs to create.

But, one also creates for others- to be seen and heard and experienced. If one is fortunate enough, to change the world’s perspective for the good through the art of creation. In order to do so, the created work has to be out there for all to see. Keeping it under a bushel doesn’t help anyone.

And so, I will press on. But there are no words at this point when one is feeling disappointed.

My experience has me thinking-what is the best way to be with others when they are disappointed? Telling platitudes and expressions or examples of others having gone through the same situation, really doesn’t help. There is a period of wallowing in self-pity that I think we go through- (Well, at least for me- that shows you how shallow I am!)

I have found that there are two things that help me navigate disappointment: working on some household project and helping someone else. The former helps me to process what has taken place all the while doing some mindless task. The latter helps me to put my disappointment into perspective. So while I am wallowing, I feel that I have at least accomplished something.

What about you? Any disappointments lately? How did you navigate the situation? Do you have a ritual or routine that helps you? What do you do to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again?

Here is the wonderful Diana Krall singing a rendition of the Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields song. Is Ms. Krall’s husband- Elvis Costello-on the guitar behind her? https://youtu.be/_p_JxDGVqXg.

Here’s the segment from the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers film, Swing Time that Kern and Fields created for the 1936 film: Click here. Enjoy. It is hard to stay wallowing when Fred and Ginger kick up their heels.

Composting Squash

Do you know where your garden vegetables grow? Local farmer? Commercial grower? Your own backyard? Does it matter to you if they come from uniformed tidy rows?

What if your vegetable came from an unexpected place? Would you eat something from the compost bin? How would you feel if you had an unruly squash plant laden snaking out of your compost bin? Would you eat the squash?

Our volunteer squash.

We have a compost bin in the back corner of our yard. In it, we add vegetable waste, egg shells, coffee grounds, grass and leaves. In time, it turns into beautiful soil. Earlier in the summer we noticed the telltale signs of a vine and squash-type leaves curling out from under the bin. Rather than pulling them, I thought we should wait to see what, if anything, would develop. I was thinking that it might be a stray pumpkin courtesy of the squirrels who love to devour our porch pumpkins and spread the “love” all over the yard.

So I was thrilled to see squash blossoms and then to see the development of delicata squash. I guess we must’ve put the “innards” of a squash from last year into the bin. Who knew that it would take hold and grow? The compost bin is in the back corner of our yard, behind our shed. We do not water that area nor do we tend to it. Yet even with those conditions, it just grew.

Discovered on a dog walk. These impatients decided to bloom where they landed- in the middle of a brick stoop.

Bloom where you are planted. A cutesy saying, but is true or a bunch of bunk? Can one bloom when planted anywhere? When one is in an unfavorable space? First of all, can one even grow, forget about producing any blossoms or fruit? Will that fruit be edible?

I know many people who feel that they are stuck. Physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They are in a place where there is no room for growth or even any type of development. They seem to be dumped in a heap of unwanted, rotting things. For them, it seems as if there isn’t any positive goodness in their lives. The way they arrived in this place may have not been through anything that they did or didn’t do- it just happened through circumstances or choices of other people.

But in the words of W.H. Auden- goodness exists. For in the heap of discarded things, growth and opportunity abound. Sometimes it is just that we sometimes do not see it- the microbes and worms that eat, regurgitate and create good, healthy, regenerative material. An environment that is then conducive to growth. And once grown and developed, the outcome produces life. It just might occur where we don’t expect it- in the middle of a compost heap.

What about you? Do you feel stuck in the compost heap of life? How did you get there? Any idea? If you let it, can the situation shape and mold you into a healthy beginning. Can it produce strength and resilience? Can that be used to cultivate a change and a movement forward? Can that movement forward produce growth?

Even if one is in a compost heap, opportunity abounds. We sometimes just have to wait and see.

Make Tea, Not War

There is an Arab-Bedouin tradition called “sulha”, meaning the meal between enemies for the purpose of reconciliation. It is a informal conflict resolution practice that includes four elements: forgiveness, reconciliation, ritual and honor. It is based on the fact that eastern tradition sees a conflict, not as an individual issue but a wider one including whole tribe or family. So it is the whole tribe or family that needs to come together in the resolution. This is done by agreeing upon an elder in the community who will act as mediator and guide the parties through the process. Aseel Al-Ramahi, an advisor to the Chief Justice of Bahrain says, “Whereas westerners know the primacy of law, the Arabs know the primacy of interpersonal relationships."

The whole practice is based on trust, humility and mercy. Trust in the one Jaha or well-respected elder who represents the parties and helps bring the parties to some type of consensus. Humility, since the one who has caused the conflict comes to the table in the spirit of humility and not one of gloating. And mercy. The aggrieved, while having the right to seek revenge, demonstrates the magnanimity of forgiving the other. Because as people living as they do in community, it is important to have interpersonal relationships.

The western tradition with our rugged individualism sees conflict as a perceived problem between one or two people. The problem is solved by one overtaking the other, whether that is through force, political gain or “winning” the debate. There is no consensus. It is an “all or nothing”event. In some ways, it is no wonder we have thrown ourselves into this uncompromising pit with no way out.

I think of Jesus and the many times He taught over a meal, including and especially “the last supper”. It is amazing to me, the fact that the one who betrayed Jesus (Judas) was present at that meal and that Jesus included him in the conversation of communion through the bread and wine. Jesus shows the ultimate in sulha (or peace). Imagine if we knew our mortal enemy was sitting among our group of closest friends. Would we be so magnanimous to include him in our act of love and forgiveness? Jesus, God present on earth, was the epitome of interpersonal relationships. Jesus would do anything, including dying, in order for us to have a relationship with Him. Any animosity that might be between us- namely our sinful animosity towards God- is gone due to Jesus’ ultimate death and resurrection. The thing is, the communion table, the place of sulha has as its wise elder, Jesus. It is only through Jesus that we can have wholeness and peace.

What about you? Would you break bread with an enemy? Have you ever had to do that? What happened?

I wonder in the seemingly increasing climate of hostility in which we live, perhaps we need to start thinking of sulha and the importance of interpersonal relationships over the right to be right. I am wondering what it would look like if we approached those with whom we disagree with a spirit of humility, mercy and grace. If we were willing to sit down, have a meal and let the God in me commune with the God in you.

You Win Some... You Learn Some.....

I was listening to some collection of music on Spotify. I think it was called “Coastal Grandma”. (At first I was a little put-off by the age implication that the digital DJ “suggested”, but it turned out that it had songs that I really liked. One of the songs, can’t remember by whom, had a line- “win some, learn some”.

I had to think for a minute. Such a nice take on the expression, “you win some and you lose some”. It takes the connotation of losing and creates an opportunity: one can learn so much when things aren’t always the best outcome. It is in those “losing” opportunities that we learn about ourselves and others. We also can learn about our relationship to God. For some, the greatest learning occurs when we have “failed”.

Many, although I suspect most “famous” people, have had their share of failures: Madeleine L’Engle- her Wrinkle in Time book was rejected many times, now a classic; Michael Jordan- considered the greatest basketball player was cut from his high school basketball team; Albert Einstein was a terrible student, his parents thought he was developmentally delayed- didn’t speak fluently until he was nine; Steven Spielberg had such poor grades in school he was rejected to University Southern California all three times that he applied; Abraham Lincoln lost many elections before winning any, Oprah Winfrey was fired from one of her first television jobs.

I know when I “fail” I am embarrassed- I want to just curl up and be left alone. When I “lose some”, I want to lash out in anger or cry about the injustice of it all. Some times the “losing” causes great pain: loss of a dream, person, goal, or the way things were.

In those times, I can feel angry and bitter at God- Why? What are You doing? I thought You promised? I think- erroneously- that God has abandoned me in my failure. I treat my relationship with God conditionally as if God is only with me when I “win” or are successful. (Which, if I am honest, can be read- when I get what I want.) Yet, so many times God doesn’t give us what we want but rather what we need. Sometimes what we need is to rely on Him more- to lean towards or lean-on God.

Recently, a new friend from our current church preached for our vacationing rector. She shared some words from the writer, retreat leader and conference speaker- Joyce Rupp. Ms. Rupp had written a list of “40 Questions that our Lean-to God asks us.” These are questions that help us when we “lose some”. Here are just a few:

  • Will you believe that I love you without any reservations?

  • Will you trust Me?

  • Will you let Me be your strength?

  • Will you allow My grace to move within you?

  • Will you open up your heart?

  • Will you come to Me in prayer so I can empower you?

  • Will you place your hand in Mine?

  • Will you drink of the living waters I bring to you?

  • Will you take refuge in the shadow of My wings?

  • Will you talk with Me about what is really difficult for you?

  • Will you wait patiently for Me to revive your spirit?

  • Will you allow Me to walk with you?

  • Will you rest your weariness on Me?

  • Will you give Me your ache so that I can heal you?

  • Will yuou accept My compassion?

  • Will you be quiet enough to hear Me?

  • Will you believe in the power of My resurrection?

What about you? Have you ever felt that your life is a win some, lose some experience? With more of the emphasis on lose some? Do you wonder where is God in all of this? How can you turn a “lose some” into an opportunity of learning something?

You are not alone. Many of the giants of the faith- think Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Leah and Rachel, Moses, David, Jonah, even Jesus (if you apply the world’s definition of success to Him) would all have had the experience of “lose some”. Yet, it is in those moments of loss, that God’s all encompassing presence can be found. Lessons can be learned. And that is something to celebrate as a win.

La Passeggiata

Recently, I watched a video from a woman whom I have followed over the years. She started out as a sustainable fashion blogger and it has been interesting to watch her “business” grow. I am fascinated by the younger generation and how adaptable they are in living out the kind of life they want. This gal, because she is online and uses the web for her “office” can work anywhere. She travels to Europe for stints of three months or so (I am sure that it is tied to the visa timeframe) and then returns to her native Canada for a period of time.

Her visits abroad are an interesting mix of travelogue, philosophy and lifestyle. In one of her latest youtube videos she shares some things she learned while in southern Italy. These are lessons she wants to continue when she returns back home.

I think we all can relate to being away at a new place and experiencing some type of new routine or experience that resonates with us. We want to bring it home and continue that experience and emotion. While that is admirable, I wonder can we sustain it? But then, I wonder why can’t we? What is it that when we return home we revert back to living life in a way that may not truly resonate with us or that we want to continue?

Is it because we have responsibility at home and potentially lack thereof when we are on holiday?

One of the things that she wants to incorporate into her post holiday life is the practice of la passeggiata: the after dinner evening stroll. It is common for those in the southern Italian community to stroll after dinner. Partly it is a way to see and be seen but it is an opportunity to exercise which is good for one’s total (physical, emotional, social) health.

Having just been on a little holiday myself, I’ve been thinking about routines. How we do we develop one? Can we add or subtract to them? Why do some routines stick and others do not? In looking at some of the literature, it appears that a routine is different from a habit. A habit is some action that is associated with a cue. For example, hand washing after using the restroom is a habit. The cue to doing the handwashing is using the bathroom.

On the other hand, routines do not require conscious effort or thought as it does not depend upon a cue. (Though I think it might be a question of semantics. My dad had a routine for his meals- breakfast, lunch and dinner. And while there didn’t seem to be a cue, he seemed to just know when it was 8am, 12pm and 6pm.)

When we get in a certain routine, we go about our day without much thought. Our routines, because we do not have to think about them, become the foundation for whatever work, play, or schedule that we have. Some routines we cannot change or at least not during certain stages of our lives: feed the children, clean up after ourselves, manage our health, walk the dog, go to work, etc.

When on holiday, our routines can be quite different. The dog may be boarded so we do not have the dog walking responsibility or our meals are being provided through a hotel, restaurant, or another family member. We might find that our routine is the pattern of the place we are in. I know of people who have gone to other towns and have been surprised that restaurants are not open all the time: they might close after the luncheon crowd and not open until later in the evening, or close earlier in the evening so that a late supper is not an option. For those travelers, their normal eating routine has to change.

I wonder about my blogger gal. How much can she practice the routine that she had in Italy when she returns to Canada? I think it is admirable to want to incorporate some things that resonated with her.

Her thoughts made me think of our home routine and possible ways to change it. Not so much as adding habits, but possibly changing the structure of our days. Life situations have a way of changing our routines: living with someone else, having children around, losing a partner or roommate, retirement. My husband and I haven’t had a life change situation in a while but I am thinking of changing up our daily routine or at least changing the pattern of some days of the week. For instance, on evenings when we have activities/meetings, try to have our dinner mid-day. Doing so will change the routine of our meal prep- making more food some nights so that the lunch/dinner will be leftovers freeing us up from meal prep in the middle of a work day. We have come to an age where eating “continental” right before bed doesn’t feel right.

What about you? Any routines from trips or holidays that you have incorporated into your regular home routine? What are they? Why did you make the decision to incorporate them?

Another routine I would like to incorporate is la passeggiata: getting outside after dinner, walking and seeing one’s neighbors. Seems like such a nice way to end the day.

Creativity

Would you consider yourself a creative person?

There are people whom everyone says, “Oh, she’s soooo creative.” They are the kind of people who can elevate any item to a work of art. Folks who can plop down the grocery bags in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Or people who go about life, truly thinking “outside the box”. No matter the situation, these folks are guaranteed to have thought of a different way to achieve an outcome.

Many years ago, a talented and creative friend designed elaborate birthday parties for her children. She even had a Cinderella-themed birthday (sans any premade Disney items) complete with a mini-van make-over to resemble the royal carriage.

While I would say I am somewhat creative, my talent lies more in taking what I have and making the best of it- either reusing or repurposing it. Although I think one can train oneself to have an artistic eye. The more one looks at something beautiful (bearing in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder), the more one is attune to seeing and responding to the world with creativity.

When I was a kid, I had a “craft box” containing all sorts of arts and crafts: colored pencils, paints, pastels; clay; bits and bobs of string, ribbon and small fabric; glitter; glue; small shells and pebbles. I had the items all arranged in small cigar boxes that fit just so into a larger cardboard storage file box with a hinged lid. To accompany that, I had an old wicker beach bag that contained sketch note books and small canvases. Every summer I would pack it along as we went on summer holiday. My intention was to do some artistic endeavor. (I had visions of being an “artiste”!) Some years I was productive. Other years, not so much. Regardless, I had to have it with me. My brother would get so frustrated with me. “Are you bringing that d*** box again this year?” (Never understood why it bothered him so much, he brought his guitar.) In fact, I had the box up until our boys were young and then I incorporated my craft items with theirs. Now that they are out of the house, I have upgraded to a craft cabinet.

Oil on Canvas. National Gallery of Art, Collection of Mr and Mrs. John Hay Whitney, 1998.74.5 Photo credit: ©National Gallery of Art.

I found an interesting article extolling the virtues of creativity- that creativity is bidirectional with well-being: a person’s well-being was found to promote creativity and creativity is conducive to well-being. Basically, when one is happy and content and feels good, one is in a better position to be creative. Being creative produces feelings of being happy and content.* In some ways, there goes the theory of the miserable and suffering artist.

I’ve been attending a virtual lecture series offered by the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. It is an in-depth look at Vincent Van Gogh and his portraitures- namely the Roulin family. The Roulin’s (Papa, Mamman, two sons and baby daughter) all sat and were painted by Van Gogh. The time spent with the Roulin’s was during the last years of his life. One of the MFA lectures, the discussion was about Van Gogh’s mental status, physical ailments and his genius. There is lot of speculations about his mental and physical illness (es). One of the comments from the expert was that in looking at VanGogh’s final paintings and comparing the same subjects from earlier works, he does not seem to be painting under mental stress. For him, painting was his saving grace. It made him happy.

I know I shared this before, but I am a big believer that all of us have creativity. Some, maybe more than others but nonetheless, we all are creative beings. Madeleine L’Engle used to say that when we create, we become co-creators with God. I think that is true. God is Creator. We are formed in His image- containing attributes of His. Therefore, we all have a creative side. When we create, we become part of the Divine.

Children create. For them creativity is playing. It helps them figure out the world- drawing a picture of their family, home, pets, what they are experiencing or something from their imaginations. Children sing. They make up tunes and words. Children tell and even act out stories. They write poems or recite nonsense verse. All of their “creation” is beautiful in their own way. Unfortunately, many children have had their creativity stifled by a (well-meaning) parent or teacher who criticized the endeavor for not being stylistically accurate.

As adults, we have the opportunity to be creative, not only in the traditional fine arts but also in the way we live our lives. Some people are creative in the way they garden, arrange flowers, style their clothes or decorate their home. Others in the way they arrange a contract, fill out an excel spread sheet, care for their car, hammer a nail, photo their children, lay a table and present a meal or creatively come up with a solution to a problem.

What about you? What is/was your experience with any creative endeavor(s)? Did you ever have an adult '“criticize” your work as a child? How can you lay that aside and challenge yourself to try again?

The New York Times has a fun little creativity challenge this week: every day do some type of creative activity. Monday- draw doodles. Tuesday- write a poem. Wednesday- daydream. Thursday- do 10% more. Friday- try one new thing. The idea is to help one get unstuck and use some divergent and alternative thinking.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/well/creativity-poetry-writing-prompt.html?smid=url-share&rsrc=deeplink.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/well/creativity-drawing-art.html

Why not try it? I am. After all, we are approaching summer- the time when I need to get out the “craft” box. There is something about summer and the opportunity to try something new. Maybe I will get creative this year.

* https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8305859/

Bloom

The other day as I was walking our dog, I went passed a house that had lawn work done last fall when they had ripped up and removed the lawn, graded it, put in a stone wall and then put down sod.

As I strolled past, I noticed shoots of green- tulips were emerging through the sod. They were randomly placed and didn’t look like they had been planted anytime recently. I tried to recall what the front looked like before the project. I think there were small gardens where the plants were emerging. The tulips either were planted there before the new lawn was put in or a squirrel decided to bury some bulbs when the ground was disturbed and it was only dirt.

Either way, nature always amazes me in its resilience.

Bloom where one is planted they say.

Many people today are having trouble doing just that. There is much upheaval and uncertainty for many. I know folks who feel like those tulips- they used to be in a known area but then bull dozers and rakes removed their comfortable setting and were replaced with something different.

When things have been upended in our lives- loss of job, devastating health diagnosis, loss of a loved one, financial ruin- how do we go forward? Do we continue on and try to do what we are supposed to do? Do we find that which is holding us down is too hard to push away like the sod overtop of the bulbs?

Do we accept what has happened and look for new pathways to explore?

Over Lent, our church offered a Lenten series through the 24/7 Prayer organization (www.prayercourse.org) The website offers a study about unanswered prayer. Over a series of five weeks, we looked at the last few days of Jesus’ life and how Jesus experienced unanswered prayer. One of the examples they give is the kintsugi bowl- a bowl made by Japanese artisans that is intentionally cracked and repaired with gold. It is to represent resilience in the face of adversity and hardships.

When we feel that we are broken beyond repair, God shapes us into something beautiful, mending that which is cracked. But, as the video points out- God doesn’t heal our scars, no more than Jesus’ scars were removed on His resurrection. We bear our scars because God can make something beautiful out of our brokenness. I like to say that God is the ultimate recycle-er/re-purpose-er.

A kintsugi bowl.

One of the speakers for the series has and continues to suffer with epilepsy. It was initially diagnosed after a brain tumor was discovered. She has lived with this debilitating condition for over twenty years. Yet, even as she has prayed for healing, she asks God for strength for each day. Her prayers are more short-lived- focusing on her day-to-day life. As she says, if she waited for complete healing (and she does still pray for that), she would be putting her life on hold.

Talk about blooming where one is planted.

What about you? Do you feel like your life is in pieces? Will you let the Master make something beautiful out of it? Are you willing to be “molded” into something different rather than be in a waiting mode?

Or perhaps you feel more like the tulips- trying to bloom regardless of the conditions?

Maybe our lives should be a little of both- continue blooming where we are until we are moved into a different, albeit better location. Either way, we are encouraged to trust in the One who has our best interest in mind, who loves us unconditionally and will make something beautiful out of our brokenness.

Spring Wonder

Is it spring where you are?

We have had some teaser days but nothing to consistently feel like spring weather even though the calendar officially says it so. But we do see more outdoor activities: more and more folks are out walking or jogging; children are riding bicycles, scooters and skateboards. Every day the daffodils grow a little taller or open a little wider depending upon their sun placement and every time I walk the dog, I’ll see yet another potted tulip placed on someone’s front steps.

It reminds me that we all long to be outside and in nature- in whatever form that might take. We all know or have heard that being out doors is good for our physical, emotional, mental and even spiritual health. I thought it is interesting that even “The American Bar Association, the U.N. Standard Minimum Rules for the Treatment of Prisoners (Nelson Mandela Rules), and the Association for the Prevention of Torture all recommend a minimum of one hour outdoors daily, weather permitting, as part of minimum humane standards for detention and incarceration.” Being outdoors is a criteria of humane standards.

For children, being outdoors and engaging in physical activity are inextricably linked. According to the World Health Organization, children need between one to three hours of outdoor play a day. It can be in the form of smaller increments but the point is that they need to be outside and playing- preferably free form and a non-organized form of play. Organized sports are wonderful but there is something intrinsic and soul-satisfying if one gets to play and explore the natural world unencumbered with any type of agenda. It provides wonder.

Recently the local radio station was speaking to an author, Thor Hanson about his new book, Close to Home. In it, he talks about retraining our senses to reveal hidden natural wonders- many in our own backyards. If we slow down and open our eyes, we will see the beauty and wonder of the world, right at our fingertips.

It made me think about my relationship with being outdoors. I love being outside. Although, when the weather is damp, cold or rainy, I may not be so anxious to be there. Yet, I am really trying to practice the adage, “It’s not bad weather. I am just inappropriately dressed.” and to try and be comfortable by appropriate dress in whatever the climate situation may be. There are some days when I have been holed up in my office that I start to feel just a little bit claustrophobic. I go outside, see the wide expanse of the sky and the sunlight on the water and feel so much better. In a strange and paradoxical way, the vastness of the world around me puts my worries and issues into perspective: I am not the only thing in the world, yet I have the blessing to be part of this beautiful existence.

Still, in the spring, I get anxious for all that I need to do, especially outdoors. Instead of enjoying the gardening and being in awe of new life and creation, I become very dogmatic in having to do certain actions. I forget to slow down and observe.

Year ago, we watched a series called: For the Life of the World: Letters to the Exile. My husband had seen it first through a men’s retreat. There are seven episodes- Exile, Love, Creative Service, Order, Wisdom, Wonder and Church- all to help one gain insight into being in the world but not of it. What always struck my husband was when the men reviewed their time and what were some take-aways and likes, almost all felt that the episode on wonder was so important and what was lacking in their lives.

I can relate.

What about you? Do you have “play dates” in your calendar? What can you do this spring to get outside more? How can you bring more wonder into your life?

What I like about being outdoors is that, if we keep our eyes open, we will see wonder all around us. As Mr. Hanson describes in his book, one doesn’t have to travel very far to see fantastic and interesting things in nature. We just need to get outside and “play”.

Everything I learned in Preschool…

This past week I met a woman who is a preschool teacher at a Montessori school. I used to travel by a Montessori school and always wondered about it. I was curious to know what is their philosophy in teaching. She explained that Montessori is a “method of education based on self-directed activity, hands-on learning and cooperative play.” The school focuses on the individual child and their developmental needs. The curriculum and teaching is established with the whole child in mind- body, mind and the senses. They focus on respect and civility: learning to respect yourself- cleaning up after yourself; respect others- saying “please” and thank-you”; sharing with others; being civil; caring for the mutual environment. The school fosters independence with guidelines and age appropriate decisions. The learning is experiential and encourages the children to discover the answers themselves- to appropriately allow them to experience consequences in the learning process.

On the Montessori website they reference a study that was published in the Frontiers of Psychology. (Of course the study is favorable to a Montessori education.) The study looked at the those who attended a Montessori school or conventional school (ages 18-81) and had them complete a well-being survey. They found strong evidence of elevated psychological well-being among adults who attended Montessori schools as children. In some ways, I am not surprised. Whether one agrees to the Montessori curriculum or not, the idea of respecting others, yourself, your environment, feeling a sense of control in one’s learning and becoming independent through responsibility makes sense. All those ideals help foster healthy and well-adjusted adults.

Makes me wonder what else I could learn…

One of the lessons that they employ is for a student to engage in a cycle of uninterrupted work periods: choose an activity; engage in that activity; clean up from that activity and then select a new task.

There are many days when I need to remember that lesson. I find, especially when I have a lot of tasks to do in a specific (namely short) amount of time, that I am frantically working from one to another and not doing a good job in any one of the activities. Plus, I seem to leave a wake of disruption and sometimes physical debris behind me. This always happens to me during the spring. I have so many tasks I want/need to complete before things get too warm: from a total clean through of the house- top to bottom and all in between- to a cleaning/working of the outdoor gardens and deck which has been “put away” for the winter. I find that I’ll start working in one area. I’ll notice something else and that pulls me to that activity and before I know it, I have begun four different tasks. This year, perhaps I can employ the Montessori method.

What about you? What lessons do you remember from school? What do you wish you had learned? What about kindergarten?

I think of the little tykes in a Montessori school. If only we behaved as they do- saying “Please, Thank-you, Good morning, How are you?”and showing respect to one another? What if we put back the things we used? What if we learned how to share?

I think of the classic book by Robert Fulghum, “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”. He wrote it in 1986 but what he says still rings true. “…no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”

Forty Days

Today is Ash Wednesday. The period of forty days before Easter (not counting the intervening Sundays). Forty is a significant number in the Bible and in the Christian tradition. It is a period of time for reflection, trial, testing, change and preparation. The forty days in Lent are a reminder of the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness. It is in these forty Lenten days that we reflect, change and prepare for Easter. We strive to become more like Christ- by giving up something (sacrifice) or by taking on a new discipline.

Forty is a significant number in the Bible: forty days and nights of rain during the flood; forty years of wandering in the desert for the disobedient Israelites; forty days on the mountain while Moses received the Ten Commandments; the Philistines taunted the Israelites for forty days before David took on Goliath; it took Elijah forty days of fleeing Queen Jezebel before he heard God’s small voice in the cave; Jesus was with his disciples forty days after he was resurrected and before He ascended to heaven.

Saw this on a friend’s Facebook page. Thought it was appropriate for the times.

There is debate over the meaning of the number- is it literally forty or figuratively- meaning a long time/awhile? Either way, it is a time for Christ’s followers to set apart and think about things, take some action and prepare for the times to come. [Fun fact, the word quarantine comes from the Italian word, quarantina- when ships came from an infected port, the crew were required to remain aboard ship until forty days had passed, assuming that any diseases would have died out by then.]

This year, I hope to lean into Lent and set apart some time for reflection. I am hoping to take on a writing practice (my preferred action for change) for the forty days. Part of that writing practice is to try and see my “neighbors” as Jesus sees them- as created beings who are deeply loved by God, just as they are. That includes even those who are my “enemies”. I am also trying to let go of some things too- preconceived ideas and frustration with those who do not see things as I do. Just like a quarantine, my hope is that by not picking up that which I let go, I can let those practices “die out”.

What about you? Do you have a Lenten practice? What is it? Do you give up anything at Lent? Take on a new practice or action?

Another fun fact- pregnancy is approximately forty weeks. In that time, a woman experiences reflection, trials, change and preparation. The end result is growth and new life. May we, as we reflect, prepare and change through Lent, come into Easter with growth and new life.

Just heard from Guideposts- In God’s Time, will soon be published. Folks can preorder here: https://guideposts.org/shop/product/in-gods-time/. (discount code: AUTHOR15). It is an anthology of 45 stories of transformation and answered prayer. I have the privilege of contributing one of those stories.