Reflections on Time
She pulls up to the ATM, gets out her card and thinks, “How much do I need this week? I have so many things to do: running the kids to soccer practice, piano lessons, math tutoring; then the PTA meeting; prepping for big client’s meeting at work. Gosh, then we have our dentist appointments. Oh, and then I am taking mom to the doctors. I guess I’ll withdrawal another ten… hours.”
The Time Bank- where we can deposit and withdrawal time as we need it.
I don’t know about you- but some days I wish there were a time bank. While we know it doesn’t exist, I suspect we would love to have that type of institution-a place where we can store up extra time (those miraculous days when we have arrived a few minutes early to our destination) or take out extra time when our weeks are overly packed and time is in short-supply.
The thing about time is that once past, it never returns. Kind of like squeezing a tube of toothpaste and having the toothpaste run out over the sink- you can never put the toothpaste back into the tube.
When you think about our usage of the word “time” it is used as a commodity: spending time, finding time, losing time, wasting time, time is money, over time, marking time, buying time, playing for time.
We talk about time flying- usually in relation to an engaged activity that we enjoy. Or about time moving so slowly- when we have the type of activity that seems to drone on and on.
I am always fascinated about time and how we, as humans perceive time and our response to it. I am always interested in ways to use my time wisely. There is a British author Oliver Burkeman who writes about the concept of 4000 weeks. (same name as his book) According to him, that is the average amount of time each of us has if we live to the age of 80. In some ways that seems like a lot of time, in others (especially those of us who are closer to that number than not) it seems so short. The big premise for Burkeman is that one should be “organizing your days with the understanding that you definitely won’t have time for everything you want to do". In knowing one cannot do everything, then one can decide on which tasks to focus on and which tasks to neglect. In essence, knowing what is important to you and letting the other things go.
I recently heard a psychologist on the radio program Hidden Brain also talk about taking control of our time. The researcher experienced what all of us do at some point- we are either overly busy and rushing from one thing to another, or we find ourselves with too much discretionary time- feeling bored and unproductive. What is the happy balance?
According to this psychologist, we need to rethink our concept of time: In some ways, to recognize that it is a precious commodity that is not infinite. There will be a time when there won’t be time. She gave the following exercise: “So if you reflect back on your past week and identify what was a moment of joy, oftentimes it's a very ordinary experience. And so what I encourage people to do is count how many times have you done that in your life so far? And then to count how many times do you have left to do it in your life.”
She gave the following example of a student in her late twenties who counted her dinners with her parents including from her childhood into adulthood when her parents would visit her at college and then currently as she was living nearby her parents and had weekly Sunday night dinners. And she counted all of those up and realized that she had had about 6,800 dinners with her parents thus far in her life and most likely 575 dinners left. As the researcher continued in her interview.
“That is, she (the student) had only 8% of her dinners with her parents left. And that's impactful because what it does is it leads her to A, make the time. No matter how busy she feels, that with that recognition, she is going to show up for the Sunday night dinner. But even beyond that, at the dinners, it changes how she engages in that time. What she used to view as nagging comments, she would just let roll off her shoulders, and instead she redirected the conversation to learn about her parents, recognizing that their time together is limited and more consequently is really precious. And so wanting to make the most of it.”
Rather than feeling depressed about the limit of time, I want to make the most of the time I’ve been given. While it is important to “number our days” as the psalmist tells us, I think it is more important to not worry about that. Rather, to enjoy each given day, for as we know, no one really knows when our life will be over.
How do we keep the time tension in balance? To feel busy enough that we are satisfied with our activities, relationships and time spent but not feeling anxious, guilty or frenetic? I have been thinking more and more about the ancient Hebrew writers and the book of Ecclesiastes- to every thing there is a season. There are seasons in our lives that may be very busy and times when we do not have all the family responsibilities. It is in realizing the big picture on our lives, that there is time for different things to happen- it does not all have to be done right now.
I also think that steeping ourselves in gratitude- being grateful for whatever the day brings, helps us to be focused on what that day brings. To be intentionally aware-whether we are thoroughly aware of our rushed days or focusing in on the days of waiting.
I recently read a book about a woman who intentionally and regularly practices silence and solitude. (I mentioned it in the last blog post.) She takes 2 days a month when she is silent for 24 hours. While that may not be my thing- [yikes I, who once had a teacher throw an eraser at me for chatting in class- in all fairness I was helping another student out, cannot imagine being silent!] I was intrigued by her observation that when she removed herself from the societal norms of speaking, background noise and clatter, she was able to observe and be more present in her situation: she found that she was relishing each activity, even simple tasks like making her morning oatmeal.
We need time in our lives to pause and ponder. To provide a space for wonder in this world. I think that is one of the reasons why God created us for Sabbath- to put the regular break and pause into our busy lives. The sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:27) as Jesus reminds us. When we pause and ponder, we create natural stop gaps in the frenetic thinking: time to wonder if the activities/energies that will be spent in the upcoming weeks really satisfy the purpose of my being?
I am still trying to learn how to make the best use of my days, but in reading what researchers say, I imagine that it comes to a bunch of mind set changes:
Choosing the best for our days: the activities that give us purpose.
Balancing things that care for ourselves and others. Loving our neighbors as we love ourselves.
Practicing gratitude in all that we do. When are grateful- even in our rushed days, we take on a more outward-looking perspective of life. Gratitude creates a natural pause in the frenetic.
Wondering why we are doing the activities that we do. To ensure that we do activities that we truly enjoy. It might not be all the time, but that there is some activity that brings joy. Of course, some things just have to be done- there is no navel gazing or joy in Mudville in having to routinely clean house, or working in a mindless job that is necessary to pay the mortgage, health bills, etc. But we perhaps we can find some type of joy in whatever the activity?
What about you? How are you with time? Do you manage your time like there is a bank for it? Hoping to deposit for any lost time?
If there were a time bank, there would be limited deposits for as the author Christopher Rice says, “Every day is a bank account, and time is our currency. No one is rich, no one is poor, we’ve got 24 hours each.”
What would you do with....?
$604,800.
What would you do if you received that amount of money in your checking account every week? The caveat is that you have to use it all, each week with no carry over. The money can be spent or given away. It cannot be saved or squirreled away.
Recently I heard this question on the radio and I first wondered, “Is this a new advert for the state’s lottery?”
Then as the announcer explained, it became clear. There are 604,800 seconds in a week. Each one of us is given that time to use. If we don’t use it, we lose it.
It made me think of the story of the Israelites in the desert and their daily provision of manna. They were only to collect the amount of manna they would use in a day- no more, no less. Whatever amount each gathered, it became an omer. (“They gathered, some more, some less. But when they measured it with an omer, whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack.” Exodus 16: 17,18). If they tried to hold it over to the next day, it would spoil. The only exception was for the Sabbath. They could collect double what they needed on Friday so that on Saturday they would not have to work and gather their food. That extra portion of food collected on Friday did not spoil.
Talk about a teachable moment- what a great visible example and daily lesson that the Israelites learned: trusting God to provide their needs. In leaning on Him for their sustenance, they would experience just how much God knew everything about their needs. He provided a system so that no one could “game” it: those who took too much received the same amount as those who took too little. Since it became a level playing field, the Israelites couldn’t rely on their gathering ability. They could only rely on the God who provided the meal. God knows us so intimately that He can provide just the right amount of what we need at just the right time in order for us to survive and thrive.
It makes me think that God provides us with just the right amount of time, no more, no less, each day. Each day may bring about pleasantries or troubles. Regardless, there is enough time in each day for that day and what occurs. Jesus reminds us of that when He talked about not being anxious. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34). There is enough to worry about each day, not to “borrow trouble” or borrow time and trouble from the future.
We have to concentrate on the day that we are given. Earlier in the passage in Matthew, Jesus talks about the natural world and its beauty. Designed by God to be beautiful, the flowers don’t worry about their appearance. Neither are we to be anxious about our life’s situations: we are to enjoy the moments and all (good and bad) that each day brings.
I like the idea of thinking that seconds are like money that cannot be stored. But not in a negative or punitive way that time and money will be taken away. Just that each day I get to start over just like each week begins the use of money from the original question. Each day I start with the bank account of seconds. I get to choose how wisely I use it. Of course, we all want to be wise with money. To see that the money is invested well. But do I invest my time well? Do I engage in activities that benefit me and others? Do I make the seconds, minutes, hours or days count? What makes a day “count”?
I also recently listened to my nephew’s latest sermon (Click here to listen) and I was struck with the idea that God created all things good. I knew that, yet I always associated purpose with that. God didn’t create all things to have only a specific purpose, although they do. He created also for beauty. “And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food.” (Genesis 2:9) When God created, He did rest and enjoy the creation: to enjoy the beauty of the created. I like the idea that the things God creates also produce beauty and therefore joy in our lives.
I think deep down we know that a day is worthwhile when we give it away- helping others in some shape or form: time listening or lending a helping hand. Part of the giving away is through our role as co-creators with God. We are God’s image bearers and so we are wired to create. Our purpose is to create whether we think in terms of classic “creators” - the fine arts- or how we create through our interactions and care of one another. We long to find purpose in our days and I think that is what gives meaning to those seconds.
But I am also learning that a day is worthwhile when it is enjoyed. Whether that is from observance of the natural world, the delight through human interaction or discovery of new ideas. A day is worthwhile because God has given it to us with just the right amount of time and activity for that day. No more, no less.
What about you? Do you ever think about your day and the time spent or to be spent? What would you do if you were given a large amount of money each day? How would you “use it up”? Would you purchase something of beauty? What would that be? Would you give it away?
How can you best use the time you are given? Giving it “away”? Investing in others? Enjoying the beauty of the world? Creating something beautiful? What would that be?
Once again, life is about moderation and balance. Time should be seen as gifts and graces: items we receive that we do not deserve. Our response to that gift is a choice: one of gratitude and use.