Is your life going back to “normal”? I know of some friends who are able to go back to work- albeit in a different setting with different protocols. One person works in an office. He has to be in his individual office with the door closed at all times. If he rides the elevator, only 1 person allowed on the elevator at a time. There is no use of common spaces- coffee maker, break room. Even our little tennis club has an elaborate procedure to use the small restroom- 1 person at a time; take a spray bottle of disinfectant with you (also doubles as a “hall pass” to let others know that the bathroom is occupied), spray down the area before and after use. When returning the spray bottle, you need to wipe off the bottle with hand wipes.

The grocery stores still have their lines and still are limiting customers. No more times of just a quick run to the store to pick up a loaf of bread. In some stores the “greeter” checks to see that you are wearing your mask properly- no nasal exposure. She clicks your presence into her counter as another body in the store. If one needs a shopping cart, it is expected to either use the one offered from the “cart wiper” or self-wipe the cart. Arrows point to which direction you can walk. The store aisles have turned into a one-way street grid system. Shopping has become a carefully planned and choreographed outing. At this point, we are not “going back” to anything. Instead we are creating a new “normal” of behavioral living.

As some businesses and social activities are opening back up, the participation opportunities of pre-quarantine activities are rolling in. Not that I mind them per se, it is just that I have gotten used to this stay-at-home order. While I do not like the idea of the quarantine limiting my freedom, I do like the permission the stay-at-home order has given me to not have to perform any obligations or duties. “Sorry, can’t do that. Government says I cannot.”

The more society is “getting back to normal” and my schedule is “getting back to normal” the more I feel anxious about my time. I am feeling panicky that my writing work time will be swallowed up by obligations that have been on hiatus. This quarantine has given me insight into my working day and what I need to do to be productive. I am afraid that without the “excuse” of a pandemic I will not be strong and protective in guarding my time. I am not ready to relinquish the unhampered schedule. As things are letting up, I feel that I am kind of missing the corona virus quarantine. Is this a mutation of the Stockholm Syndrome- the condition in which hostages develop a psychological alliance with their captors during captivity? Am I developing an alliance, a preference for being isolated? Or, am I becoming agoraphobic?

Once again, as it seems to be my refrain, balance is key. And while I like the unhurried atmosphere of these past couple of months, I also like having goals, plans and a relative schedule. (I think I have shared before) But I finally have come to realize that, while I do like to design a schedule, I very rarely actually follow a specific schedule for too long.

Ironically, it is through this unhurried, stay-at-home pandemic, that I have learned that laser-type focusing- at the expense of all other concentration- is key in creative pursuits. One would think that being so focused would be part of a controlled schedule yet it was in this unplanned time that I have been most productive.

But the balance to laser-type focusing is to also have diffuse thinking. There are the times when one’s mind needs to wander, explore and make random connections. One’s thoughts need to stretch, lengthen, linger or curl around ideas. Mind meanderings are a good balance to concentrated focusing.

Balance is also key in caregiving- of others and of ourselves. We need to physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually care for ourselves There are times when we have to care for our own needs at the exclusion of others. Yet mostly we need to balance our needs with the caring for the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs of others. Because in caring for others, we are tending to our emotional need to be empathetic. It is just a question of timing- in the different seasons of our lives we may be more laden in one area or with one person or obligation than another.

Just this morning I had a conversation with a friend discussing the balance of time: how does one spontaneously enjoy the moment yet still accomplish plans and feel that one’s days are purposeful? Stop and smell the roses is the old saying but one has to design, plant and care for the garden before there can be roses to sniff.

What about you? Are you anxious, panicky about “getting back to normal”? Is it for health safety? Due to our lack of vaccines or treatments for the virus? Have ideas or priorities changed for you during this pandemic? Are you anxious to return to the lifestyle that you had pre-quarantine? Will you miss the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed in quarantine? What kind of balance do you see in your life? What kind of life will you live, post-pandemic?