Re-Frame
The original print is of a lot larger scene but I liked just concentrating on the cottage and the roses.
Recently I have been trying to de-clutter. Truth is, it should really be called re-cluttering because if an item sits in the “rid pile” too long, it might be re-assigned somewhere else in the house. It seems to be a system of “Two steps forward and one backward” but at least I am slowly culling things out.
As I am sorting things, I have been thinking. I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. A lot of what we have has been repurposed into other usage for projects that I thought I would have to go out to the store to complete. Turns out, I had the material all along.
I will be in the middle of a project and realize that if I change my focus and look at an item differently, I can re-use my “clutter”. For instance, I discovered that we have many prints of old Masters as well as frames and mats of all different sizes. As was in the process of ridding all of them when I was re-painting/redecorating our bedroom. I took one of the prints and framed it with a larger mat so only a portion of the print showed and hung it on our wall. I like it. To me, is gives a a nice intentional focus through a different impression and scale. And I didn’t have to go out and purchase something new. Similarly, I was able to “find” a desired small bedroom chair for our Cape house by re-assessing an inherited chair I was going to discard. So now, an old, dark-wood, dusty, needlepoint-seat chair has two new lives as a painted white, beachy, bedroom chair and a lovely needlepoint pillow.
I guess it is all in the re-framing and looking at the potential of an object. Turns out re-framing is a good way to look at our lives and situations. Especially when we feel overwhelmed by life and all its travails.
In Psychology they call it cognitive reframing: “Reframing is a technique used by counselors to shift a client’s view of a particular problem, event, or person. It is based on the assumption that when clients are able to view a situation from another perspective, opportunities for finding alternative, acceptable solutions to their problems increase.”
One of the ultimate cognitive re-framers is Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor. Frankl lost everything- his wife, his family, his possessions and most of the people around him yet Frankl “kept his mind active, planning the lectures he would give after his release, using the material from the death camps to illustrate points he wanted to teach. As a devoted teacher, his careful, deliberate planning of his future lectures kept his spirit and body alive in hideous deadening conditions.”
He demonstrated a giant reframe of a horrific experience: He looked at his situation and transformed it by re-focusing on ways the experience could help others find hope.
Of course, I hope, none of us has or is experiencing the horrific times that Mr. Frankl did, but the lesson of reframing can be applied to our lives. Can we step back from our experience and see it through the lens of someone else? Can we take a long view of our situation? Will this (whatever the “this” is affecting your life currently) be important to me in five years?
In some ways it reminds me of Dorothy and her learning that there is “no place like home”. By reframing, we realize that we already possess the ability and the attitude in our mental “homes”. Just like I already had the chair that was a good fit for our beach home. I just had see the potential and look at the chair in a different light. We just have to learn how to view our circumstances a little bit differently.
For me, it is also a recognition that through God’s grace, I can renew my mind through the transformative power of the Holy Spirit. While I may possess ability and attitude, I need some help. After all, Jesus was the ultimate re-framer. He helps us to view our situation with His perspective. In doing so, we become more like Him and more like the self that God intended us to be.
I am also wondering if we should think about re-framing when considering others? Not that we have the right or power to change someone but what would it look like if we re-framed our thoughts about one another? Like our narrowing down the print to only focus on one aspect of the painting, what if we only focused on the encouraging aspect of someone else? Or viewed them in light of their potential? How could we encourage them to be the best versions of themselves?
What about you? Have you ever re-framed your situation? What did it look like? Did it help you survive whatever you were experiencing? Are there attitudes about others or even yourself that need re-focusing?
The beauty of re-framing is that is doesn’t cost us much- just the effort. But the outcomes can be priceless.
Click here for a rather long article about all types of reframing one’s thoughts.
What I Learned on my Summer Vacation
- Take time to enjoy experiences and people. I was so struck with the non-hurried lifestyle of vacation. Not just our experience but the lifestyle we witnessed of those around us. Of course, I am sure that there were plenty of locals who rushed about and felt that they were rushing but the atmosphere did not feel frenetic. I liked the pace we set while on vacation but I don't know how we can transpose that feeing now that we are home. I am trying to set more wiggle room in my calendar- prepare for interruptions, plan ahead for activities as well as plan fewer amount of items to do in a time period. I am trying to enjoy the moments.
- Eliminate the clutter. The apartment we rented in Vienna was very modern. It wasn't spartan or minimalist but it certainly didn't have any extra frills and thrills. It was refreshing. It made me think about our home and all of its stuff. Since we have returned, both my husband and I are in the process of decluttering. I had mentioned once before that my goal is to eliminate 1/4 of items/stuff in each of our rooms. I am getting there.
- Just because things have always been a certain way, doesn't mean it has to be that way. I think sometimes we get so caught up in doing activities because that is how we have always done them. Not that what we were doing might be wrong, but we never allow ourselves to experience something that might be different and possibly better. I noticed this with European meals, especially breakfast. When we landed in Italy via Air Berlin, our morning airplane "breakfast" was a sandwich. At first I couldn't stomach it. We had been up all night flying and had had dinner in the air. According to our flight times it was 2am EST but with the time zones, we were 8am in Dusseldorf. According to our airlines, it was time for breakfast. And according to our son who lived in Vienna for four months, breakfast might consist of what we think as "lunch" food. We noticed more meats at breakfast in Florence, Rome and Vienna. Actually when I finally ate the sandwich, (waiting for our connection to Rome) it was rather tasty. Reminds me that I don't have to fit into societal norms of what is "done".
- It takes just as much effort to dress nicely as to dress sloppily. Now that we are back in the states, it is hard to pinpoint what exactly was the clothing difference between the European dresser and his American counterpart. (baseball caps? logo and messaging t-shirts? sneakers? ) The people walking about in Rome, Florence and Vienna seemed so much more well dressed and more put together. They appeared to be more civilized and respectful of others. (not that clothes are that important, but sometimes clothes doth make a man) My husband and I noticed the difference this past weekend when we attended a local street festival in our home town. In the middle of the crowded street I stopped and thought, "We were at some festivals in Vienna and this looks so different." It wasn't until then, that it dawned on me that the attendees' clothing was what made it seem different. At this weekend's festival, people seemed so sloppy in dress, in speech and in behavior.
- Be a sponge. As always when we travel I realize what an ignorant rube I am. I have so many things that I want to learn, to explore, to do. Travel opens up curiosity. It provides a different way to look at the current experience but I think it also opens up a new way to view the familiar.
What about you? Learn anything this summer? Have you made any changes to your lifestyle? Do you want to make any changes? How can you take lessons learned or observed and put them into practice?
What did you learn on our summer vacation?