The Season of Joy

I love the word joy.  It just has such a wonderful image.  What I love about it is that it represents peace that transcends circumstance.  It is being able to say, "I am okay even in the midst of trouble.  I know that my present circumstance will not be forever and even if it is, there are things that I can learn and change and do about it."  It is viewing our situations and problems as opportunities.

I have heard various people talk about happiness and joy lately.  Totally unrelated conversations which makes me think that this is a topic in which I need assistance. In each of those discussions the conclusion has been that joy and happiness are different. Happiness is dependent upon surroundings. The focus becomes on achieving and getting things and that those things will provide happiness.  Isn't that the crux of the materialistic holidays?  Or that happiness has to be a reaction to what has occurred.  If the surroundings aren't quite good enough then one is unhappy. Life is miserable until something else happens that may provide a positive reaction.  Then we feel "happy".

I think of joy as the serene, gracious wiser sibling.  The one who seems to be unruffled and steady during difficulties.  The one who remains calm, speaks in a pleasant tone and doesn't fly off the handle.  The one who is unfazed if things don't go his way.  The one who is content whether he has much or he has little.  The one who is confident in all circumstances. 

I think of the past to the many times when I didn't exemplify poise in a situation. Times when I certainly wasn't full of joy.  Times when I let my unhappiness because "things didn't workout the way I wanted" spill out in my speech. Times when I railed against the "injustice" or aka "not getting the things I wanted" of my life. How ridiculous. How unattractive.  How childish. 

Joy comes from contentment. Joy comes from hope.  Joy comes from God.

The world is is need of joy this season.  I am in need of joy this season. What about you?  Can you replace happiness with joy this season?  This coming year? 

When I See Your Smiling Face...

Ah, the famous smile. Or is it?  "Mona Lisa" by Leonardo de Vinci. c. 1504.  Musee de Louvre, Paris France. This is a photograph of a faithful production of a 2-D work of art. 

Are you a smiley person?  Are your facial muscles more in the upward mode than downward?

I am by nature a pleasant person.  I am not dour by any means. I like a good joke and generally find humor in most situations and in people's behavior.  But, I am also by nature more of an introvert. As my grandmother used to say, "you are a deep thinker" which means that I have many ideas swirling around in my head and sometimes forget to react to the world around me. 

This past week it occurred to me that the world is an oyster for those who smile.  Not that one has to be insincere with one's expressions but that there is some truth to the adage "act as if you are happy".  I noticed that the times when I do feel a lightness of being and so smile at those I encounter, whether it is at the grocery store, walking down the street or in a large social setting, I have many more pleasant interactions. Smiling is contagious and who wouldn't want to be around a pleasantly smiling person?  Interacting with others and feeling part of the "community" can put and keep me in a good mood.

When I don't interact with others I find that it is a self fulfilling prophecy- others won't interact with me, which causes me to start to feel isolated and wanting to withdrawal even further into myself.  It is not that I have to have an long interaction or a deep discourse with others but it is having some type of interaction- a shared smile, a quick hello or a recognition of some sort-  that lets me think I am not alone and that  I "belong" to my community.  

In The Atlantic magazine, there was an article by Lindsay Abrams about an experiment to see if forcing a smile could genuinely reduce stress. For some in the study, the forced smile was achieved by using chop-sticks to keep the muscles in a smile formation.  Others were explicitly told to keep smiling.   The subjects were then asked to perform stress-induced tasks.  Those who were forced to smile had lower heart rates than those who didn't smile and those who were smiling on their own had even a more positive effect. (The full study,"Grin and Bear It: The Influence of Manipulated Positive Facial Expression on the Stress Response," is published in the journal Psychological Science)

Of course, there are many questions about this study:  Sample size?  Logistics for keeping chopsticks on your facial muscles? Other variables?  But, I think that it is interesting that there were some positive results in the lowered heart rate due to the smiling- fake or otherwise. 

Today or someday soon, why not try your own smiling experiment?   I would suggest not using chopsticks to keep your smile alight but I would suggest that you try smiling wherever you go.  Even if you are not around people, give yourself your own private smile.  Assess how you feel?  Assess how others respond to you?  If you find it positive, try to incorporate smiling as your default face.  Who knows?  You might become as famous for your smile as the Mona Lisa.