My grandmother used to say about my grandfather, "I married him because he had his feet on the ground. Little did I know that they were stuck in the mud."
Do you feel stuck? Unable to move from your location? Literally or figuratively? Does it cause you to feel a sense of security or an envelopment of claustrophobia?
This year following my mom's death I have felt stuck. Stuck in a situation of caring for my father that I didn't ask to be in, didn't want to be in but one in which I just find myself.
That's the thing about being stuck. Many times we find ourselves trapped or grounded and it was not due to anything that we may or may not have done. It just happened. For myself I can get quite worked up about it. It's unfair, what did I do to deserve this, why now when I seemed to be going down a different path with my life choices? All these types of questions can go through my mind. Bottom line, it doesn't matter what I think, say or do, the reality is the same: I have certain responsibilities that I need to do.
It has taken me a while to not feel so stuck. I don't know if I am just resigned to the fact or if I have come to some emotional break through. It does make me wonder, what changed? Certainly the situation is the same even a little worse. I have to put some hopes and dreams on hold (again) for a little longer. I am not going to fight the way I feel. Just accept it.
According to Psychology Today when one feels stuck it is important to remember acceptance. Those who accept things that they cannot change have a better outcome. They are not so emotionally restricted and in a strange twist are more open to things eventually changing.
There is the story I heard of someone hiking New Hampshire's Franconia Notch State Park. A staff member pointed out a small path off to the side. It consisted of a few boulders wedged together, leaving a small covered opening to squeeze through. When he mentioned that a number of people have gotten stuck in there, he was asked how he gets them out. He chuckled and said, "Well, we can't move the rocks." Then he explained that he just waits. After about fifteen minutes of struggling, they give up... their bodies relax and they can slip right through.
Lately I am learning to accept the place I find myself. In a sense when I give up the struggle, I can move on because I am choosing to let things be. When I am not questioning and complaining, I find that I can see my situation in a different light. I can reflect on some of the positive and learn to let the negative go. I can then have the feeling of being unstuck.
What about you? Have you learned ways to become "unstuck"? If so, what are they?