I was listening to some collection of music on Spotify. I think it was called “Coastal Grandma”. (At first I was a little put-off by the age implication that the digital DJ “suggested”, but it turned out that it had songs that I really liked. One of the songs, can’t remember by whom, had a line- “win some, learn some”.

I had to think for a minute. Such a nice take on the expression, “you win some and you lose some”. It takes the connotation of losing and creates an opportunity: one can learn so much when things aren’t always the best outcome. It is in those “losing” opportunities that we learn about ourselves and others. We also can learn about our relationship to God. For some, the greatest learning occurs when we have “failed”.

Many, although I suspect most “famous” people, have had their share of failures: Madeleine L’Engle- her Wrinkle in Time book was rejected many times, now a classic; Michael Jordan- considered the greatest basketball player was cut from his high school basketball team; Albert Einstein was a terrible student, his parents thought he was developmentally delayed- didn’t speak fluently until he was nine; Steven Spielberg had such poor grades in school he was rejected to University Southern California all three times that he applied; Abraham Lincoln lost many elections before winning any, Oprah Winfrey was fired from one of her first television jobs.

I know when I “fail” I am embarrassed- I want to just curl up and be left alone. When I “lose some”, I want to lash out in anger or cry about the injustice of it all. Some times the “losing” causes great pain: loss of a dream, person, goal, or the way things were.

In those times, I can feel angry and bitter at God- Why? What are You doing? I thought You promised? I think- erroneously- that God has abandoned me in my failure. I treat my relationship with God conditionally as if God is only with me when I “win” or are successful. (Which, if I am honest, can be read- when I get what I want.) Yet, so many times God doesn’t give us what we want but rather what we need. Sometimes what we need is to rely on Him more- to lean towards or lean-on God.

Recently, a new friend from our current church preached for our vacationing rector. She shared some words from the writer, retreat leader and conference speaker- Joyce Rupp. Ms. Rupp had written a list of “40 Questions that our Lean-to God asks us.” These are questions that help us when we “lose some”. Here are just a few:

Will you believe that I love you without any reservations?
Will you trust Me?
Will you let Me be your strength?
Will you allow My grace to move within you?
Will you open up your heart?
Will you come to Me in prayer so I can empower you?
Will you place your hand in Mine?
Will you drink of the living waters I bring to you?
Will you take refuge in the shadow of My wings?
Will you talk with Me about what is really difficult for you?
Will you wait patiently for Me to revive your spirit?
Will you allow Me to walk with you?
Will you rest your weariness on Me?
Will you give Me your ache so that I can heal you?
Will yuou accept My compassion?
Will you be quiet enough to hear Me?
Will you believe in the power of My resurrection?

What about you? Have you ever felt that your life is a win some, lose some experience? With more of the emphasis on lose some? Do you wonder where is God in all of this? How can you turn a “lose some” into an opportunity of learning something?

You are not alone. Many of the giants of the faith- think Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Leah and Rachel, Moses, David, Jonah, even Jesus (if you apply the world’s definition of success to Him) would all have had the experience of “lose some”. Yet, it is in those moments of loss, that God’s all encompassing presence can be found. Lessons can be learned. And that is something to celebrate as a win.