The Christmas Letter
Saturday will be Christmas day. In the Christian tradition it is the day to commemorate Christ’s birth. While the actual birthdate was not December 25th it is still a day of celebration.
Christmas is one holiday that celebrates all sorts of traditions:
Christmas tree- what type (fresh or artificial), when to decorate, what types of decorations, where it is placed in the home, specific decorations that have to be hung, in specific order?
Christmas presents- when to be opened (Christmas Eve, or morning), hand made or store bought, extravagant or budgeted amount, what to use as wrapping paper (same kind for each person, re-use from past years), Santa-given, stockings (or shoes), on mantle, foot of bed, open gifts with everyone or as one wakes up, open in a specific order- by age, every person opens one and then around the room, gag gifts, Yankee swapping?
Christmas dinner- what time, family recipes, dress up or down, at certain family member’s home, rotate dinner locations?
Christmas service-Christmas Eve or Day, traditional lessons and carols, family/children act out the Christmas story, pageant?
Christmas decorations—inside and outside the house, white or colored lights, inflatables, candles in the windows?
Christmas food- cookies; family recipes, fruit cake?
Christmas cards- send via mail or email, religious or fun?
and will it contain the good ole Christmas letter- like it or loath it?
According to Wikipedia, the earliest known Christmas card was sent to James I in 1611. While it mentions the holiday season, the sender wishes the king “in most joy and fortune, we enter into the new auspicious year 1612". Fast forward to the Victorian period and due to technology and the new “penny post”, John Callcott Horsley designed a card for Sir Henry Cole that could be mass produced and sent relatively inexpensively. Originally the cards didn’t contain too much about Christmas and Christmas decor but had flowers, fairies and other designs to point to spring. Some were even quite macabre. Over the years, the cards were reflective of the changes and happenings in society- war related (to send to soldiers), product placement (new fangled car), risque humor- even, (gasp) pressuring the public through advertisement that they needed to send them. When the actual Christmas letter with its recounting the year’s activities started is not known.
The Christmas letter was the pre-Facebook highlight reel of the family. Now, people can post the highlight reel every time they post something to Facebook. I think that the advent of Facebook has warranted the annual letter almost obsolete. Maybe that is why there are more picture/collage type cards? Most people who follow others on Facebook already know what is going on in their lives. (or once again, that is probably just me- I do not understand Facebook and therefore do not follow it.)
I used to hate the Christmas letter and the process of writing one. I still do to some extent. Partly, the letter causes me to reflect back over the year and to think, “What the heck have I done this year?” Usually my internal reply is “You’ve done nothing significant. Once again.” At least compared to the overachievers who would send us their letters before Thanksgiving with details of their saving-the-world actions. To me, the letter was just a blatant, in my face, you are one of the millions living a life of quiet desperation.
My husband on the other hand likes sending and receiving Christmas cards and letters. He pulls out his favorite pen, puts on some Christmas music, pours himself a nice beverage, reads through the cards we have already received and faithfully begins writing his notes and checking off the Christmas card list.
I’ve been thinking- instead of dreading the letter, why not use the opportunity to write (in private) what I might achieve for next year? To make my Christmas 2021 an accounting not of what has passed but an accounting for what the future might hold for 2022? Or at least, what things do I want to accomplish in the next year? Not so much acquisitions or material things, but what about my character, my relationships, and my spiritual state?
What would I tell my future self that I would like come to fruition? Could my year via my Christmas letter look something like this?
Greetings friends and family,
I pray all is well with you and yours. Over this past year-
I listened well to my family and friends.
I responded to the physical needs of others.
I appreciated the service personnel and anyone I had to contact in customer service.
I “used my words” and told the people I care about just what makes each one of them special to me.
I treated everyone who came across my path with dignity and respect.
I said hello or nodded or took up a conversation with the stranger I passed along the street.
I intentionally made myself uncomfortable so that someone else might be comforted.
I chose quality over quantity in my physical possessions as well as in my relationships and my choice of activities.
Every day, I tried to be more and more like Christ.
What about you? What are your Christmas traditions? What about the Christmas letter? Today, if you were to write your future self a Christmas letter 2022 what would it contain? What would you like to be known for or to have accomplished by next Christmas?
What if our Christmas letters reflected our character? Now wouldn’t that be an interesting letter to give and receive?
Merry Christmas.
Fall Bucket List
The other day I heard a radio announcer speaking to his co-host about making a fall bucket list.
I was intrigued even though I feel that the term "bucket list" has become a cliche.
From what I have gleaned, the term "the bucket list" was coined from the 2007 movie starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson of the same name. The movie tells of the exploits of the two men as they complete tasks and experiences that they wanted to do before they die.
The bucket list from the movie derives from the slang expression "to kick the bucket" meaning to die. There are many explanations for that expression:
That expression may have derived from the Middle Ages and the method of execution by having a person stand on a bucket while a noose was put around the neck. The bucket was then kicked out from under the person and then subsequently hanged.
It also could be from the Catholic tradition of sprinkling the deceased with holy water that was kept in a bucket by the body. Friends and family would pay their respects and sprinkle water on the body.
Another idea is that it is a childhood game of moving balls around randomly placed buckets. If you touched a ball to a bucket you lost and would have to sit out the remainder of the game.
It may have come from a West African word, "kek(e)rebo" meaning to die.
There is some thought that it refers to a Latin poem where the just milked goat kicks the bucket of fresh milk. In the poem it is an omen of death to come.
However the original expression came about, the bucket list idea is that one completes a goal or activity before ones dies. It is generally something that one has always wanted to do but for whatever reason hasn't done it. It may be because of time, finances, or lack of courage. The bucket list items gives one permission to complete it regardless of societal norms and behaviors.
What I like about the idea of a seasonal bucket list is that we are identifying items that we want to do in the moment. These are generally smaller, and I would argue more doable, goals. The process of doing one thing might lead to doing more.
What is one thing would you want to accomplish during the next three months? Is it something you have always wanted to do? Is it something that every fall, you say, "I want to do such and such.." And every spring you say, "I never did do such and such..."
Put it on your calendar. Plan for it. If you have to do more research on how to accomplish it, put those research questions on your calendar. You might want to form a new habit: at the beginning of each season, plan for one seasonal activity that you will do.
This fall I want to take advantage of the "free fall" activities in our town. Every October, there are free shows and exhibits at local museums, theaters, and concert halls. I need to look online and find what is available and then plan on going.
You might not have on your fall list to climb Mt. Everest, but you might want to take a hike in the woods. Whatever your plan, work towards it. Who knows, you might actually do all the things you wanted to do.
Too Late?
Do you ever feel that you are too late? Too late to accomplish much in your life? Too old to respond to God's call? Too worn out to be of any use?
Lately I have been reading more of the Bible and deepening my prayer life. In doing so I am wondering, "Why wasn't I this committed years ago?" I feel that God is teaching me much yet I cannot help wondering what I missed out because of my past lack luster commitment.
I have also felt that I have missed out on what could've been professionally. What would've happened if I made a career out of hospital nursing? What would've happened if I didn't take time off to raise kids? What would've happened if I had followed my heart with exploring creative endeavors and occupations during college?
Well, I will never know and in some ways that is okay. I have had a varied path and it all is good.
But now that I have started on this writing endeavor, I sometimes wonder if it is too late. Perhaps I will run out of time before I get going? Why does it take me so long to learn things?
I have been thinking of things that I wished I learned earlier:
- To enjoy the moment
- To laugh more
- To reach out to others more
- To be more vulnerable
- To take risks
- To not be so serious
What about you? What things have you learned? Are you still learning? Do you feel that it is too late? Is there anything you wished you learned earlier in life?
I love to hear stories about older individuals accomplishing feats in their "dotage". (Perhaps because I am closer to that season of life than not, it speaks to me.) Some of those who accomplished in their later years:
- Paul Cezanne had first art exhibition at age 56
- Julia Child began PBS cooking show at age 51
- John Glenn went into space at age 77
- Grandma Moses started painting at 76
- Peter Roget invented the thesaurus at age 73
- Colonel Sanders started KFC at age 65 (using his first Social Security check for $100!)
- Diana Nyad swam from Cuba to Florida at age 64
I think I have shared before, but the jazz band at my parents' retirement community was called "The Never Too Late" band.
What is Your Introduction?
Recently I was attending a lecture where the introduction to the speaker was phenomenal. The list went on and on. He had accomplished much and was involved with much. The things that he had done were recognized through a litany of organizations or multiple degrees. Immediately I thought, "Gosh, if they introduced me it would be quite short."
It seems as if we are impressed with those long litanies. But I also thought of those people who might not have the fancy degrees or the involvement with the "right" organizations. What about those whose degree is through the school of hard knocks or who are the unsung heroes of their families? Those who respond to a multitude of simultaneous crises with superhuman endurance and humility. How do you introduce someone who is volunteer extraordinaire but with many organizations? Someone who works a little with everyone who asks, yet never completes the thousands of hours in one position for a grand citizen award. How do you introduce someone who is practical, has great common sense, looks out for other's best interest or who is the best listener?
How do you introduce all the truly extra-ordinary, ordinary people?
It made me think of my life and accomplishments or lack thereof. Do I just need to market myself better? Or do I need to just accept that in the world's eyes I have not done anything special or at least anything that can be quantified or labelled?
How do I treat others? Do I expect them to be introduced with a series of recognizable accomplishments? Does my reaction and treatment of others depend on how they fit into a specific category? Am I impressed with awards and accomplishments?
Certainly it is good to be recognized for a job well done. We all crave that. And it is good to strive and attain something whether that is a degree, reward or a recognized accomplishment.
But I realize that I shouldn't be overly awed by those things either. Character and integrity of the person matters more. As much as God wants us to live in accordance with His rules and guidance for our lives, it is our hearts and our character that matter the most to Him. We should view ourselves and others in that light as well.
Underlying the question, how would you be introduced, the question becomes, how is your character? Would others say that you are a true friend, a confidant, of high integrity, reliable and trustworthy?
Do you accept yourself for what you have done and not done? If not, do you have time to “do something”? Are there degrees or accomplishments that you want to do? What is holding you back?
How do you treat others? Does an "impressive" introduction awe you? Or do you wait and see how the person acts? What characteristics would you want yourself and others to portray to be extraordinary ordinary folks?
What is your introduction?
Forever Treasures
Last week when I was walking to town during my "cracker dog" moment (see January 9th's post) I noticed an area that is undergoing construction. Or rather, it is the side of the road that is housing the construction equipment for the construction work being done across the street. This equipment parking area is all torn up with deep ruts in the ground and bushes and small trees toppled over. Where the equipment hasn't torn up the area, the weeds and neglect of care have the other areas overgrown and looking quite desolate.
If I hadn't known what was there before, I would've thought that the equipment people were just parking in an abandoned lot.
Thing is, this was once a small, beautiful and beautifully maintained garden in memory of a prominent garden club member. By the looks of the neglect, it seems as if I may be the only one who has remembered it and her.
Now there may be plans to which I am not privy of revitalizing the garden once the construction across the street is complete. I certainly hope so.
And I couldn't help but remember the story of Englishman Roger Bannister the first man to run a mile in under four minutes. Never had it been done before. The closest was Gunder Hagg from Sweden who, in 1945 ran a mile in 4:01.4. Yet, on May 6, 1954 Mr. Bannister ran it in 3:59.4. I sure that he was elated as were all the running fans. And he probably thought that it might be some time, like the nine years it took him, before someone would break his record.
Thing is, in less than a year Australian John Landy broke that record with a time of 3:58.0
Just goes to show you that our accomplishments and tributes don't stay around for very long.
The neglected garden and the breaking of sporting records are gentle reminders to me to not put my hopes, my dreams, my sense of self all into the basket of accomplishment. For if I do, someone else will push me out or dash my hopes and dreams. There will always be someone else who surpasses our accomplishments like setting a new record or there will always be something that is more pressing than maintaining a piece of unused land like building a new shopping site.
I need to think of myself more than what is achieved. I need to remember the words of Jesus; not to store up treasures on earth that can rust, but lay up treasures in Heaven.
What does that look like? For me it means working towards and contributing to a purpose greater than myself. To know that I have made a difference in the world but that I don't rest on my laurels of whatever contribution that might be. To not be overwhelmed, smitten or too confident in what "I've" produced, created or acquired. To realize all can be lost in an instant and it is the intangible things like relationships, character, and truth that withstand.
It is hard. We are society that takes great pleasure in celebrating, almost deifying those who are "accomplished" aka "successful". Certainly there is a time for recognition and celebration. I am all for the kudos and the reaping of the benefits from working hard. But that shouldn't be the raison d'etre. One hopes that one would be recognized for one's work but there are so many people working hard and never getting any type of recognition or thanks.
Even though the garden was a fitting tribute to our town gardener, it didn't take long before it was destroyed. At the time the memorial garden was commissioned it was big deal because she was pretty prominent in town helping to shape the gardens around public buildings. Yet it is not the garden that I focus on. I remember her because she was kind and helpful. When we had our first house and I wanted to venture into gardening, she recommended some books to us. We still have the books and I think of her fondly whenever I refer to them.
What about you? Can you think of accomplishments, either for yourself or others that have been surpassed? If it was your own, how does that make you feel? What kind of treasures are you storing? Earthly or heavenly?
One Path or Thirty?
The Real Simple article (posted last Friday, December 23) about finishing had an interesting comment that has stuck with me.
One of the reasons, or so suggested by the life coach, the author never finished her projects was that her father modeled a talented yet multiple scattered existence: he had so many work and volunteer projects that he was all over the place. The author's life coach wondered what it would've been like if her dad had focused on just one of his projects and interests. "But what if he'd devoted himself to only the mobile van [providing health care for the homeless], say and instead of just having one van, he'd developed a whole fleet of them to serve the entire country? Wouldn't he have accomplished more? Did you ever wonder if he himself wished he's walked one path instead of 30?"
Wow. Made me think of my own paths. My life's journey is definitely like the "The Ramble" at Central Park. Every time we visit and explore the park, we end up getting "lost" in the ramble located on the west side. Obviously we get out of the park but it always takes longer than expected. So many twists and turns back on itself. I certainly enjoy the views, the birding and the flora and fauna but once I get stuck on one of its trails, I secretly kick myself for having started down that path.
The question of accomplishing more or being more effective has given me pause. I am wanting to challenge myself to see if 1) I can finish the projects that I have started. 2) Be intentional with those projects. Only begin those that keep me on one path. The plan evaluation would be to see if I can accomplish more and be more effective. And, if that is what I want to do. I find that I like variety but I am wondering at what cost?
The path for me this coming year is writing. I am hesitant to reveal my overall life's goals for fear it won't happen. (In the past, I have noticed that when I say I will do something, it generally never happens. When I think about accomplishing something, I am more likely to do it and then surprise others and myself with that accomplishment.)
What about you? Have you ever thought of your life as a series of paths? Do you wander here and there, like Billy from The Family Circus comic strips? Or do you stay on a specific path, never veering left or right? Do you feel that you are effective in your life? Are the distractions of the different paths causing you to not finish what you start? Are the many paths providing joy or frustration? Perhaps 2017 will be the year to challenge yourself to finding a path that provides joy.
How many paths do you traverse? One or thirty? How many paths will you traverse in 2017?