Post Pandemic Life
Post Pandemic Life: Visual reminder to balance focused planned work (journal) with spontaneous meanderings (roses).
Is your life going back to “normal”? I know of some friends who are able to go back to work- albeit in a different setting with different protocols. One person works in an office. He has to be in his individual office with the door closed at all times. If he rides the elevator, only 1 person allowed on the elevator at a time. There is no use of common spaces- coffee maker, break room. Even our little tennis club has an elaborate procedure to use the small restroom- 1 person at a time; take a spray bottle of disinfectant with you (also doubles as a “hall pass” to let others know that the bathroom is occupied), spray down the area before and after use. When returning the spray bottle, you need to wipe off the bottle with hand wipes.
The grocery stores still have their lines and still are limiting customers. No more times of just a quick run to the store to pick up a loaf of bread. In some stores the “greeter” checks to see that you are wearing your mask properly- no nasal exposure. She clicks your presence into her counter as another body in the store. If one needs a shopping cart, it is expected to either use the one offered from the “cart wiper” or self-wipe the cart. Arrows point to which direction you can walk. The store aisles have turned into a one-way street grid system. Shopping has become a carefully planned and choreographed outing. At this point, we are not “going back” to anything. Instead we are creating a new “normal” of behavioral living.
As some businesses and social activities are opening back up, the participation opportunities of pre-quarantine activities are rolling in. Not that I mind them per se, it is just that I have gotten used to this stay-at-home order. While I do not like the idea of the quarantine limiting my freedom, I do like the permission the stay-at-home order has given me to not have to perform any obligations or duties. “Sorry, can’t do that. Government says I cannot.”
The more society is “getting back to normal” and my schedule is “getting back to normal” the more I feel anxious about my time. I am feeling panicky that my writing work time will be swallowed up by obligations that have been on hiatus. This quarantine has given me insight into my working day and what I need to do to be productive. I am afraid that without the “excuse” of a pandemic I will not be strong and protective in guarding my time. I am not ready to relinquish the unhampered schedule. As things are letting up, I feel that I am kind of missing the corona virus quarantine. Is this a mutation of the Stockholm Syndrome- the condition in which hostages develop a psychological alliance with their captors during captivity? Am I developing an alliance, a preference for being isolated? Or, am I becoming agoraphobic?
Once again, as it seems to be my refrain, balance is key. And while I like the unhurried atmosphere of these past couple of months, I also like having goals, plans and a relative schedule. (I think I have shared before) But I finally have come to realize that, while I do like to design a schedule, I very rarely actually follow a specific schedule for too long.
Ironically, it is through this unhurried, stay-at-home pandemic, that I have learned that laser-type focusing- at the expense of all other concentration- is key in creative pursuits. One would think that being so focused would be part of a controlled schedule yet it was in this unplanned time that I have been most productive.
But the balance to laser-type focusing is to also have diffuse thinking. There are the times when one’s mind needs to wander, explore and make random connections. One’s thoughts need to stretch, lengthen, linger or curl around ideas. Mind meanderings are a good balance to concentrated focusing.
Balance is also key in caregiving- of others and of ourselves. We need to physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually care for ourselves There are times when we have to care for our own needs at the exclusion of others. Yet mostly we need to balance our needs with the caring for the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs of others. Because in caring for others, we are tending to our emotional need to be empathetic. It is just a question of timing- in the different seasons of our lives we may be more laden in one area or with one person or obligation than another.
Just this morning I had a conversation with a friend discussing the balance of time: how does one spontaneously enjoy the moment yet still accomplish plans and feel that one’s days are purposeful? Stop and smell the roses is the old saying but one has to design, plant and care for the garden before there can be roses to sniff.
What about you? Are you anxious, panicky about “getting back to normal”? Is it for health safety? Due to our lack of vaccines or treatments for the virus? Have ideas or priorities changed for you during this pandemic? Are you anxious to return to the lifestyle that you had pre-quarantine? Will you miss the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed in quarantine? What kind of balance do you see in your life? What kind of life will you live, post-pandemic?
Words?
Sometimes when I have too many projects going on in my head, I have difficulty in communicating what I want to say to others. I will start a conversation and either pause grasping for a word or jump from one train of thought to another. My son will look at me, raise an eyebrow and say, “Words?” (He is twisting the conversations that we, as parents used to have with him and his brother when they had an altercation with one another- Use your words (rather than fists) we would admonish.) What he is trying to do is get me to slow down and use the right word to describe or convey instruction.
Do you find yourself at the start of each year with a whole host of plans? Things you want to do and want to change? Do you also find yourself at the middle of the year, or even one month into the year, frustrated that nothing has happened?
For 2019 I would encourage you to use your words or more specifically to think of one word- one word to describe your intention, focus or meaning for your life this year. One word that will help you change to become the person you want to become. There is a book, (which I haven’t read yet but has been recommended by others) that describes the process- My One Word by Mike Ashcraft and Rachel Olsen. (For more information, click here)
From the My One Word website:
Step 1: DETERMINE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME
The first step is to simply take some time and decide what kind of person you want to be at the end of this year. This goes beyond simply being healthier and wealthier, but it must drive deep into your soul. What about the condition of your heart? What about the person that God Himself has created you to be?
Step 2: IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THAT PERSON
Get a picture of that person and then simply identify their major characteristics. Is that person gentle? Is that person generous? What are the qualities of the person you want to become?
Step 3: PICK A WORD
Once you have a list of the characteristics, simply pick a word. There might be fifteen things that you want to change, but you must resist the temptation to promise you will do them all. Instead, simply commit to ONE WORD.
This will provide you with a lens to see the changes you need to make as well as a way to determine whether or not change is actually happening. Understand that this process is hard, but staying focused on your word will help you to struggle in the right direction so that you can actually see God working in your life.
Different folks that I know have chosen the following words over the years: joy, love, peace, early, submission, present, resist. There is no right or wrong word, just one that resonates with you. My word for the 2019 is focus. While I am a pretty disciplined person, I have a tendency to put others’ needs in front of my own, so much so that I avoid doing what God has called me to do, all in the name of helping others. For what seems like good work really is not so great: I hide behind this “selfless” act and never rise up to the challenge that God has for me. So for this year, I intend to focus on what God is calling me to do- concentrate on my writing.
What about you? What is your word for the year? Rather than have a list of resolutions, why not concentrate on applying one word to your daily life?
Many blessings for 2019. Thank you for joining me on this journey and in reading this blog. I hope to have many exciting new writing projects to share with you in 2019. If you feel that any of my words are worthwhile, please share these posts with others.
Go Ahead. Name It.
Wednesday I talked about the concept of appreciative inquiry; recognizing one's strengths, building on those strengths and going forward in life. And as much time as I have ruminated on this idea I need to actually do it- I need to go ahead and name it.
Today, I am going to take time to put pen to paper (or type to the computer screen) and list out my strengths. If you have trouble naming characteristics you might want to check out various websites and complete the different psychological tests. Or, just read some of the descriptions to give you some context and descriptions.
Be completely honest with yourself. This is not the time for false pride nor for a "aw shucks" false humility. Think about the complements that you have received over the years. Sometimes we don't see our strengths but others do. If it is hard to get started, think of yourself in smaller terms:
- Mind- What type of learning do you like? Are you a numbers person or do you need to see things through pictures?
- Body- What area of your physical features do you like? Your hair, your eyes, etc.?
- Soul- What areas bring you joy? What activities make you lose your sense of time because you are so enthralled?
- Work- In what kind of environment do you thrive? Working in groups, individually, structured, free-form? Working indoors, outdoors, on the road?
- Relational- Do you get energy from being with people or being by yourself? Do you love to entertain? Are you better communicating verbally or on "paper"?
Knowing my nature, I will probably resort back to some type of self-improvement even with those items identified as strengths as I am always leaving room for improvement. Yet, I do want to concentrate on the strengths first. For instance, I have discovered what my strengths are in my writing and I am only going to concentrate on that for now. I'll be interested to see how far I journey with that.
What about you? Do you know your strengths? If not, will you go ahead and name it?
One Path or Thirty?
The Real Simple article (posted last Friday, December 23) about finishing had an interesting comment that has stuck with me.
One of the reasons, or so suggested by the life coach, the author never finished her projects was that her father modeled a talented yet multiple scattered existence: he had so many work and volunteer projects that he was all over the place. The author's life coach wondered what it would've been like if her dad had focused on just one of his projects and interests. "But what if he'd devoted himself to only the mobile van [providing health care for the homeless], say and instead of just having one van, he'd developed a whole fleet of them to serve the entire country? Wouldn't he have accomplished more? Did you ever wonder if he himself wished he's walked one path instead of 30?"
Wow. Made me think of my own paths. My life's journey is definitely like the "The Ramble" at Central Park. Every time we visit and explore the park, we end up getting "lost" in the ramble located on the west side. Obviously we get out of the park but it always takes longer than expected. So many twists and turns back on itself. I certainly enjoy the views, the birding and the flora and fauna but once I get stuck on one of its trails, I secretly kick myself for having started down that path.
The question of accomplishing more or being more effective has given me pause. I am wanting to challenge myself to see if 1) I can finish the projects that I have started. 2) Be intentional with those projects. Only begin those that keep me on one path. The plan evaluation would be to see if I can accomplish more and be more effective. And, if that is what I want to do. I find that I like variety but I am wondering at what cost?
The path for me this coming year is writing. I am hesitant to reveal my overall life's goals for fear it won't happen. (In the past, I have noticed that when I say I will do something, it generally never happens. When I think about accomplishing something, I am more likely to do it and then surprise others and myself with that accomplishment.)
What about you? Have you ever thought of your life as a series of paths? Do you wander here and there, like Billy from The Family Circus comic strips? Or do you stay on a specific path, never veering left or right? Do you feel that you are effective in your life? Are the distractions of the different paths causing you to not finish what you start? Are the many paths providing joy or frustration? Perhaps 2017 will be the year to challenge yourself to finding a path that provides joy.
How many paths do you traverse? One or thirty? How many paths will you traverse in 2017?