80/20
Do you feel that time is slipping away from you? Too much to do in too little time? Or, too much time and not enough to fill it?
The 80/20 Rule. Perhaps you have heard the saying as it applies to how people work- In any organization, 20% of the people do 80% of the work or some such thing.
The 80/20 rule is known as the Pareto principle or the law of the vital few, which basically means that in many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.
Seems like there is a lot of 80/20 applied to living yet I wonder if we actually do it?
There is a financial lifestyle rule of 80/20 which divides living as such: 80% for expenses with the remainder 20% for saving (10%) and giving away (10%). Living within 80% of one’s means is liberating. By doing so, it allows room for financial confidence (through saving) and financial generosity. It provides some space for the financial unexpected both for ourselves and others.
I have been thinking- what if we lived all aspects of our lives like that? 80/20. Our time for instance? Instead of living crammed up to the minute with activity, we kept 20 % of time “open”? It would allow us wiggle room for the unexpected: the chat with the neighbor, the errand for a friend, the reading of a book, even the possible traffic delay.
What would it be like to not feel rushed every second of every day? I know that I am guilty of this behavior more times than I care to admit. No wonder I am pooped at the end of the day. What if I left some time for contemplation, reading, or day-dreaming?
There are twenty-four hours in a day: we know we should be sleeping @ 8 hours, leaving 16 hours for work and whatever. If we applied 20% of our time “open” that would give us @ 4.8 hours a day. Just writing that, makes me feel anxious- isn’t that “wasting” our precious time commodity? But, I am wondering if we could (more like, could I?) leave wiggle room throughout the course of a day? Not necessarily have 4.8 hours all in one block of time, rather leaving time in our schedule- starting with five minutes here, ten minutes there- to be open to interruptions, new possibilities and the unexpected?
Many years ago I heard Dan Buettner talk about Blue Zones (book by the same name). These are places in the world that he discovered had populations that lived longer and healthier lives. One such place is in Okinawa, Japan. In Okinawa the average life expectancy for males is 84 and for females is 90. Consider that in America, the average life expectancy for males is 75 and for females is 80/81, it seems that these folks might be onto something.
One of the principles that the Okinawa population practices (especially the elders) is to say, “hara hachi bu” before each meal. The expression reminds them to eat until they are 80% full. The point is to not starve themselves but to re-frame the way they look at food. In America, we say we eat until we are full. In Okinawa they say they eat until they are no longer hungry. While both actions provide needed nutrients, the Okinawa philosophy is slightly different: food consumption is not to be maximized but rather “wiggle” room. They utilize three simple rules with eating: they eat slowly (allows the brain to register when they are no longer hungry), they focus on the food (an enjoyment and mindfulness of what they are eating alongside with whom they are dining), and they use smaller plates.
The idea of the 80/20 principle for anything in life has me wondering if that rule allows for accomplishment or completeness. For it seems by definition anything 80%, will never be 100% complete.
Yet, I also think of the Sabbath: 6/7 days work and 1/7 rest: 85.7% work and 14/3% rest within a week. A God-devised system of roughly 80/20. Part of the purpose of Sabbath is that we, as humans need it. We are physically designed to need to rest and regroup- to not push the limits all the time, every time. I am thinking of Sabbath not in any legalistic way (one is forbidden to turn on a light switch because it is “work”), but rather as a practical concept.
It is the practice of sabbath living that strengthens our physical, mental and spiritual beings. We know that we need physical rest. Much as we try to be efficient with our schedules and lifestyles, we cannot change the fact that our physical bodies recover, re-generate and renew through rest and sleep. Even when we are awake, we need periods of time when our minds are “off” to allow our brains to be de-stimulated.
Sabbath living is also good for our faith. In practicing a Sabbath lifestyle, we will never be able to finish a full 7/7 week, and so we must believe and trust God that all will and can be complete during the 6/7 time. It is as if the incompleteness is the point of Sabbath: it is a system that forces one to let go of self-sufficiency and to allow God’s generosity/wiggle room to orchestrate our time.
It appears that 20% of what we do whether financially, scheduling or in our eating habits- the “giving away” of our time or money, the resting, or the refrain from eating until we are stuffed- are the causes that effects the 80% of our lives in better physical, mental and spiritual practices.
What about you? Do you pack your days so that you do not have any time for thought or reflection? Do you eat until you are stuffed? Have you ever practiced a sabbath? If so, what does it look like?
I am very intrigued by the 80/20 rule as it applies to my schedule. I am trying to have time each day that is my “sabbath” for rest and for wiggle room. Time for the unexpected. Time to be healthy. Time for God to work in my life. Time to enjoy being alive.
Historical Moments
Where were you when the storming of the Capitol took place? Heard about George Floyd? 9/11 attacks? Persian Gulf war began? Challenger disaster? Nixon resigned? Reagan, MLK, RFK, JFK shot? Or any other seared-in-your-memory events?
Last week the newscasters and journalists kept using the expression, “A week for the history books.”
That expression made me think about events that people can recall exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. The events might be national or global but they could also be familiar.
What were the circumstances for your individual stories? When you received the phone call about…? Heard about a family or friend event? I will always remember exactly where I was, how the sky looked and the feeling in my chest when I received the phone call that my mother had died.
Stressful information can lock specifics into our brains.
According to Psychology Today, “The hippocampus, the brain region responsible for forming new memories, is particularly sensitive to cortisol. When released after an emotionally charged experience, cortisol can sear memories into our brain; it tells our brain the message was important, something that moved us enough to get excited, like the vivid recall of your whereabouts when you first heard about the September 11 tragedy.”
Hopefully we do not have high cortisol and emotionally charged experiences on a daily basis. We may be going through seasons like that, but I suspect that for most of our lives we live in “quiet desperation” as Thoreau stated. Ordinary hours which turn into days which turn into months which turn into ordinary years. Sometimes it is hard to recall exact situations or experiences.
It is in the ordinary details of life that I want to remember. I want to remember the shy, corner raised, slight smile of our son’s when he is sharing a dry witty comment, or the mirrored reaction on my husband’s and other son’s face when they share the same, tickled-a-rib anecdote.
Other days, not so much. On those days I am hoping to just move through and onto something else. Ironically it is the stressful experiences which are the ones I want to slide through. Yet, it appears that they are more of the ones that are seared into my memory and impact my behavior.
I think of those stressed induced ones that have shaped our future: no more greeting a loved one as soon as she steps off the tarmac, no more greeting others with a handshake or hug, no more freely walking into government or public buildings without the purse/bag/metal detector search.
One thing that last week has brought to the forefront- anything is possible and can happen in our world. After 2020 we should realize that we should never take any thing, any time, any person for granted- good or otherwise.
But, how should we live our lives? We cannot give up and hide. We cannot remain isolated (Covid-wise, more emotionally than physically) in the hopes that these high cortisol experiences won’t affect us. Stress is a given in our lives- both “good”- eustress and “bad”- distress. We cannot avoid stress. Just like we cannot avoid being in community and connecting to one another.
In Deuteronomy 30: 19, the Hebrew ancient writes, “I call heaven and earth to witness you today: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse — therefore choose life!” According to Rabbi Kukla, “This phrase is a classic example of a “merism,” a figure of speech that is used frequently in the Bible, where two parts or elements are used to denote the whole.” Not necessarily that it is an either/or but rather every choice we make between birth and death matters. It doesn’t matter if the choices are large or small. Every choice between birth and death impacts the life between birth and death. Same thing with stress- not necessarily an either/or to avoid one or the other but to deal with the stress as it comes.
Martin Luther King, Jr said, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.” We are caught up with each other- whether it is through our mundane existence and our individual choices or our cortisol producing, global historical moments.
In the 2013 American Journal of Public Health article, “Giving to Others and Association Between Stress and Mortality”, the researchers concluded, “In effect, this finding suggests that, among individuals who do not help others, exposure to a stressful life event is associated with 30% increased mortality risk.*
Basically, because stress happens to all of us, if we think that we can go it alone and just hide from life we are at an increased risk of dying early. Our destiny is tied up with one another and with helping one another.
Our destiny is also tied up with stressors and reactions to stressors. Some things we will remember. Some things we will not. There are many other discussions we can have about the stressors in our lives, but for today, in this historical week, it seems as if we need to remember that we are ALL in this together. We NEED each other and we need to HELP one another.
What about you? What are some historical moments that you recall? Were they stress-producing for you? What did you do about it?
When stressful times occur, it is best to remember that ALL NEED HELP and that our posture in handling the stress, is to see where we can help. Help can come in many forms: listening, praying, providing a meal, having a civil discussion with someone who has a different (political, social or religious) point of view, wearing a mask, smiling and saying hello to a stranger. It may be on a large scale or just in the acknowledgement that we are in this historical moment together.
And wouldn’t it be a week for the history books if we all got along because we all were helping each other and had forgotten about our own personal stressors (read, agendas). That would certainly be a memory seared into our collective brains.
*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3780662/
April Showers
April showers this morning.
Many years ago I had taken a writing course with the author Julianna Baggott. She was great. Not only a wonderful writer but an articulate, funny and caring human being. One day we were talking about plot and character development and she used the author of "The Fight Club", Chuck Palahniuk as an example. He is known for adding much conflict to his characters' stories. Just when you think the character is dealing with a lot, more tough situations are dumped on him. As a reader, one gets to see how the character handles or doesn't handle the stress.
Do you ever feel that you are having to do as much as you can handle and then even more things are showered upon you? That feeling of being so overwhelmed that you know it is only the shear volume of the things that are surrounding you, that keeps you upright. You would collapse but there is no where to fall because the stressors are on top, beside and below you.
This morning I was feeling that way. The irony is that I am in the middle of writing the curriculum for a five week class on prayer. Talk about a living example! Talk about a reality show! I am praying for strength like you wouldn't believe. I wonder if I can handle all the volume of things on me?
Here is what I am learning in this process:
1) I have to read the Bible every morning. If I don't I will collapse. It is more than just a feel good or a "keep myself in God's good graces" activity. It is sustenance to my soul. If I didn't eat breakfast in the morning, I would not be able to be my best.
2) Delegate and let go. There have been some situations that, in my normal schedule I would be involved. But because many days I have to be in two or more places at once, I have had to let others pick up where I couldn't be.
3) Tell your loved ones what you need. I am so grateful for my husband. I have told him that I just can't think about meals for the next couple of weeks and he has taken that off my plate. (no pun intended)
4) Prioritize and say no. There are so many other things that I need to do this spring. One such item was to scrape and paint the outside of our screened porch. But I know that there is no way that I can do it. I have other similar items of household things to-do as well as commitments I had made in past years. I have had to say no and try to free up some time. Getting my father situated in an assisted living arrangement is priority number one.
5) Be kind to yourself. This one is the hardest things for me to do. For me, to be kind to myself I have to give myself permission: permission that it is okay to not do everything, permission to know that I will disappoint others especially those who think I should do everything, permission to know that I can take a little time for myself.
I also realized that I need to allow myself to enjoy the stressors. Sounds crazy but I am realizing that life is an ebb and flow of a flurry of activity and a time of stillness. I want to appreciate it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't want to get through this time of my life and be angry at myself for not handling it with grace. Someday I want to look back and say that it is only through God's grace that I was able to handle all that came my way. I want to be able to point to blessings that have sprung up from the stress and give God the glory.
I want to be able to say that, "Yes, I did have April (stress) showers, but look at all the May (grace-filled) flowers."
What about you? Do you feel you are showered with conflict? How are you handling it? What steps can you take to lesson the load? Have you seen May flowers from your April showers?
Sick List
One thing about being sick is that you are forced to be still. It seems as if all I have done these last three days is sleep. When I am awake I can't focus on anything- no reading, no watching television, nothing. Only today have I had enough energy to move around the house. It did occur to me some possible reasons why I got sick and what I can do in the future to prevent it. I list them below as a reminder to myself and as an encouragement to you to not get in the same boat.
1) Get enough sleep. I certainly wasn't getting my required 8 hours of winks a night. Most of that stems from our two, four-footed creatures who decide that the middle of the night is the best time to bark at the passing foxes outside.
2) Get outside for exercise. With all the running back and forth to my father's house I haven't been outside like I normally am. Plus, the afternoon walk for me and my four-footed creatures would ensure that they would be tired and would sleep through the night and therefore I would too.
3) Reduce stress. Ah, the rub. Easily stated, difficult to execute. I have looked over the list of responsibilities that I have for the next six months. Some things are short-lived while others will be ongoing. I have realized that I cannot take on any more, even if it is something as simple as baking brownies for a meeting. That simple action becomes just one more thing in a list of too many things. The proverbial straw that breaks the camels back. Of course, there are projects and people that I want to help but for the majority of things I need to say no for right now.
4) Stop being the little red hen. There are situations in my life when, I don't receive help from those who I think should help me, I become like the little red hen. I will handle it all myself. And then I get annoyed, upset and looking for reasons to get even angrier at the ones who are not helping. In not being the little red hen, I am going to try and ask for help. Or at least state what needs to be done and then let the chips fall where they may. The work might get done, perhaps not the way I thought it should originally be done but if it gets done, then so be it. The work might not get done either and then I need to let things happen as such.
The thing is, most times I practice good habits. Usually I get enough sleep, exercise and have a good diet. It is the stress that gets me every time. Stress affects each of us differently. Regardless on the cause and the effects, stress is one of those insidious situations that sneak up on us. We go along fine, thinking we are handling our situation when out of the blue, we get sick, or have tooth problems, or stomach issues, or insomnia. When I feel under stress I like to list the responsibilities that I have to do and that I want to do. Are there things that can be put off in order to stretch out the responsibilities? I am learning to be more clear with my family and friends of the things I can and cannot do. It still can be difficult. Some people, on hearing that you cannot do something today will decide that you meant forever and will be miffed. I am learning that I can only be clear with what I say. I cannot ensure that the hearer is clear too.
What about you? What would you add to the above list- things that you know if you do not practice you will end up sick and in bed. How do you deal with stress? Do you keep it at bay? Do you feel that your life is overrun by stress? What small changes can you make to lessen the stress? Are there things you can put off, say for the next six months?
What would your sick list be?