Basket Shopping

As we're down to one car, I have been having to walk or bike to do our grocery shopping.  That means that I cannot fill a grocery cart as I normally would do.  I have to be able to physically carry (or ensure all of the bags fit into my bicycle panniers) the food that I have chosen. 

I wonder how long I can keep this up?  Going to the grocery store every day or every couple of days seems like an inefficient use of my time.   But I like the benefits- intentional exercise, reduction of our carbon footprint and reduction in meal preparation stress due to the knowledge that what I pick is part of an already chosen meal plan. 

It's been hard though to get over the mindset of being prepared for all contingencies.  I feel that I am so ingrained to "be prepared" that I even find myself doing it when at the store with our grown son.  He might be shopping for his own groceries, for his own household and still I ask him, "Need more toilet paper?  Have enough eggs?  What's the status of your canned soups? What about laundry detergent?" I feel an unfounded anxiety that if he doesn't purchase those things he will be unprepared and disaster will befall him.   I seem to have this compulsion of asking him to pick up more things than he was planning and that he actually needs.  

I have been acutely aware of this familial tendency as I have riffled through my parents' cupboards trying to clean out and keep fresh the contents for my dad.  I am amazed at the amount of cream of chicken soup cans my mother kept in her pantry.  She was prepared to make casseroles for the home front and for the invaders if we ever had a nuclear attack. (But then who would really want to eat them and would anyone be around?)

But the action of making smaller purchases has resonated with me.  I feel so much freer, lighter and healthier.  First of all, I have to be mindful of what I purchase- when will I use it, how much will I need and how heavy is it?  Secondly, I am mindful of using all the items that I purchased because my time is precious and I don't want to waste any of it going to the store unnecessarily. Thirdly, I am saving money because I am not buying unnecessary and unused items. I don't need to keep my cash on my pantry shelves in the form of mega packaging.   Do I really need to outlay a week's paycheck for the ginormous package of toilet paper? 

My Cape Cod market basket given to me by an elderly neighbor many years ago...

I am thinking about starting my own small purchasing movement- Basket Shopping.  I guess it is counter to the anti-Costco, mega purchase shopping experience.  I am harkening back to the practice of the daily round to the shops to pick up enough in one's market basket.  The hand carrying market basket which was used to transport the purchased items, was a staple for all households and is used in some form or other even today.  It was in 1937 that Sylvan Goldman designed a basket on wheels.  It was designed to make the shopping experience easier and more pleasant, which in turn would encourage the shopper to visit more frequently which consequently would increase sales.  The original shopping cart has been expanded over the years to accommodate more merchandise and hence increase sales for the company.  I wonder if it is a coincidence that part of our obesity epidemic can be correlated to the enlargement of shopping carts and buying in bulk? 

So, I am wondering what the smaller purchasing model will do to our eating habits, our budget, our health? Will it be a total inefficient model or one that works well for us and our lifestyle?  Can it be sustained especially in the winter months? Will I grow weary of riding or walking to the store?  Will I find that I have to make an occasional car run to the larger, better stocked grocery every couple of weeks?  How will that work with budgeting and planning?   I'll let you know how I progress.

What about you?  How are you with grocery shopping?  What do you do?  Monthly trip to Costco?  Daily trip to the local shops?  Online purchasing and at home delivery?  Eat most meals out so you don't have much in pantry or fridge?  Are there items in your pantry that you cannot even make out the expiration date due to age related fading?   Do you feel the need to be prepared for any food related worst case scenario? Coffee, wine, chocolate, favorite snacks for the apocalypse? 

You might not be in a position to walk or bike to the grocery store, but you can try basket shopping.  For the next couple of weeks, plan out your menus- taking into account the items in your fridge, freezer and pantry. Try to incorporate some of the items that have been there forever.   Write out your list of what you need from the store.  When you go, plan on using only the hand held basket for your items. Once it is filled up then you are done for the day.  After a couple of weeks, what happened?  Did you become best buds with the checker?  Have you been more intentional about your meals and what you eat? Have you spent more or less on food? 

Have you tried basket shopping? 

Cracker Dog

Life size statue of Mrs. Pumphrey and Trick Woo in a museum in Yorkshire England.  Frankly I find it a little creepy but there is a whole industry based on the books.  World of James Herriot museum in Thirsk, UK

Our little female Jack Russell has this habit of going "cracker dog".  For those of you who may be James Herriot fans you might recognize that expression.  That was the description of TrickyWoo, the pampered pooch of Mrs. Pumphrey.  Every so often, Tricky would run around like a crazy dog expending as much energy as possible, going cracker dog.

Our dog Millie does that too.  She will tear around the backyard, taking tight turns around the hydrangea bushes.  She races on the top garden, down the slope, through the lower garden and up along the fence. On and on she will go until at some point she will just flop down panting loudly.

Every so often I feel a cracker dog moment coming on myself.  I think it is what in human terms we call cabin fever. Last week I had a moment of it.  I was tired of being cooped up in the house and felt I just needed to expend some energy.  I had a window of time so I suited up (putting multiple layers on as it was freezing cold) and walked into the town center to complete some errands. It felt so good to put one foot in front of the other and to get some fresh air.  

I remember times when I felt cabin fever even at work.  I would use my lunch break to either walk on the road surrounding the building or head to a local hiking path to walk as fast as I could for about 15 minutes. 

Do you ever feel penned in?  Like you are going to explode if you sit one moment longer?   What do you do about it?

Here are some other suggestions of going "cracker dog":

• Go up and down your household steps (or office building steps)  multiple times- try and go as fast as you can (but please, don't fall)
• Do jumping jacks for two minutes (or longer if you can)
• Run or march in place (always preferable to have an office with a door when attempting at work)
• Walk around your neighborhood or work building during lunch time
• Stand and do the "heads, shoulders, knees and toes" song complete with actions for two minutes (again, best done in an office with a door)

What about you?  Are you going "cracker dog"?  What techniques to you employ to expend that energy? 

Our little cracker dog doing what she normally does- snoozing under multiple blankets.

The Age of Living

One of my favorite Cape Cod artists- Vivien Oswell, in her nineties and still painting strong. 

Do you get morose at the start of the new year?  Does the blankness of the new calendar feel depressing? I can't say that I get down but I do have a tendency for reflection upon the turning of a new diary page.  I also have these type of reflections at funerals, at weddings, while baking cookies or cleaning the house. (Alas, I am constantly thinking.)  Every so often I am in the middle of an activity or task and I think of the friends and relatives who were once my age and  who also did that activity or task and realize that it was not so long ago.  I am acutely aware of how short life is.  

And how precious.

I heard an interview with the composer, choral conductor Alice Parker on Krista Tippett's On Being radio show.  Ms. Parker is 90 years young and still working, creating and making music. In looking at her biography I felt something familiar.  She is slightly older than my mom, yet the pictures of her with her short curly grey hair and the position and movement of her conducting arms reminded me of my mom.  They were contemporaries in the choral conducting world although Ms. Parker was much more well known than my mom.  Seeing her picture I felt a sadness of missing my mother because I can't talk to my mom any more. Did mom know her, ever sing with her?  I feel that Ms. Parker might have been one of the instructors at choral music conventions my mom attended. 

Listening to Ms. Parker had me reflect on my mom and what my mom and grandma were doing at my age, and what I am doing at that similar age.  When I realize how quickly life passes, it can be daunting and makes one feel that there is not much time left for anything significant. If I am not careful I can allow myself to slide into the mire of despair and hopelessness. 

Yet listening to Ms. Parker I am reminded that we shouldn't be concerned with the passage of time.  No matter the age there is always work to be done and purpose to be found even in one's final days. We should just keep on for as long as we have breath.

I was also reminded of one of my favorite Cape Cod artists- Vivien Oswell. She is still painting and still creating even in her nineties.  To meet her and talk with her, one would think she was at least twenty years younger.

Even though I  may be acutely aware of the passage of time I need not be afraid.  To live well is to live each day to the best of one's ability: to find purpose in what one is doing, whatever that might be and to continue doing it. Living well is to continue to create, to explore and to share with the world.

What about you?  How do you view the passage of time?  Do you ever think of it?  Does it change how you live? 

This year, let us embrace what each day brings, not knowing the future but not being afraid or morose about it either. This year I am game to keep working, creating, living. 

E for Encouragement

The scenario: A world leader who rules through suppression of freedoms and instillation of fear. A world leader who comes to power due to the complacency of voters.  A world leader who speaks for the disenfranchised who once had a voice. A world leader who claims moral victory yet doesn't live by any moral code.  A world leader who no one thought would ever be voted into office.

Sound like 2016?  Actually it is the underlying scenario for the 2006 movie, V for Vendetta.  Over the holidays, our son suggested watching it.  "Following world war, London is a police state occupied by a fascist government, and a vigilante known only as V (Hugo Weaving) uses terrorist tactics to fight the oppressors of the world in which he now lives. When V saves a young woman named Evey (Natalie Portman) from the secret police, he discovers an ally in his fight against England's oppressors."

It was thought provoking,entertaining and timely. Bear in mind, it is an action movie and one based on a comic book so there are plenty of scenes of "willing suspension of disbelief".  And while I did find it disturbing that the solution and hero to the problem was a masked terrorist who manipulates his followers, there was some good dialogue:

"Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly, there are those who are more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable. But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. They were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent."   ~ speech given by the protagonist "V" to the people of 2020 England who inhabit this dystopia. 

In some ways this might not seem like a Happy New Year message but I think that it is one that is needed. The new year is a good time for reflection. Now is the time for us to step back and think about our past, both individually and societally.   To reflect on our current situation, our responsibility and our hand in the process. Now is the time to name the problem.

And...

Now is the time to go forward and make changes, whether that is for a situation that is personal, community related, family oriented or societal. Depending upon what we have experienced we might have to take different action steps:  we might have to seek information, to stay informed, to ask forgiveness, to become involved, or to sacrifice.

I suggest that 2017 is the time to individually and corporately stand up for what is right, truthful and good. Now is the time to encourage others to do the same.  Now is the time to use our words for good, for encouragement, and for relaying the truth. 

I think what resonated with me in this film is the power of words and ideas.  While I don't agree about the use of force, the hero has some good statements about the use of words.   Perhaps there are times when force is necessary but I think the pen is mightier than the sword.  I think kind, thoughtful, and inspiring words can do more to elicit change than violence, intimidation and fear. 

 What about you?   Do you view 2017 as a year of fear or hope? How do you portray your ideas? Do you think that violence is necessary to make a point?   What is your "initial": are you a "V" for vigilante or are you an "E" for encourager?  Do you feel any societal responsibility? What action steps can you take to contribute towards change? 

2017-Living Life Well

As we say good-bye to an old year and ring in a new, would you say that you have lived life well?  Have you not only endured your situation but have thrived in it?  Are you just going through the motions of life or are you embracing it? Are you dreading another year or are you excited about the opportunities?  Do you feel that life is a series of repetitive mundane encounters- sleep, eat, work?  Or do you feel possibilities brimming at every turn?

This year, I am wondering why can’t we make the repetitive encounter, the ordinary events, extra- ordinary? Why should we just settle for the mundane?  

This year, I want to live my life well, full of abundance, and brimming over the top.  

What does that mean?  For me?  What would that mean for you? 

For me living life well means to embrace all that life has to offer- the good, the bad and the ugly. For it is in that reflection of it all, that perspective is given and only through that perspective can I then appreciate all the goodness in my life and celebrate it.

• Counting my blessings- each day being grateful for what I have been giving
• Practicing the presence of being- enjoying the moments with others as well as by myself
• Sharing with others- not just my extra resources but at times willing to share sacrificially
• Being mindful of each encounter, meal, conversation, action, etc. that I witness
• Finding purpose and meaning in what I do- even if that is as simple as washing the dishes
• Learning more about the world around me- being curious
• Experiencing the arts and the gift of creativity
• Encouraging others in their life journey

I am sure as I continue exploring living life well, I will expand my list.  At first when I explored living well, it contained the foundational elements of body, mind, spirit: finding balance in being as healthy as one can be.   And that is still a good goal. Yet I am ready to move further and deeper in my pursuit of living physically, mentally and spiritually well.  I am ready to live a life that reflects back the light and love of God: a contagious, winsome, abundant life-affirming existence.

Won't you join me? 

One Path or Thirty?

The Real Simple article (posted last Friday, December 23) about finishing had an interesting comment that has stuck with me. 

One of the reasons, or so suggested by the life coach, the author never finished her projects was that her father modeled a talented yet multiple scattered existence: he had so many work and volunteer projects that he was all over the place.  The author's life coach wondered what it would've been like if her dad had focused on just one of his projects and interests.  "But what if he'd devoted himself to only the mobile van [providing health care for the homeless], say and instead of just having one van, he'd developed a whole fleet of them to serve the entire country? Wouldn't he have accomplished more? Did you ever wonder if he himself wished he's walked one path instead of 30?"

Wow.  Made me think of my own paths.  My life's journey is definitely like the "The Ramble" at Central Park.  Every time we visit and explore the park, we end up getting "lost" in the ramble located on the west side.  Obviously we get out of the park but it always takes longer than expected. So many twists and turns back on itself.  I certainly enjoy the views, the birding and the flora and fauna but once I get stuck on one of its trails, I secretly kick myself for having started down that path. 

The question of accomplishing more or being more effective has given me pause. I am wanting to challenge myself to see if 1) I can finish the projects that I have started. 2) Be intentional with those projects.  Only begin those that keep me on one path.  The plan evaluation would be to see if I can accomplish more and be more effective.  And, if that is what I want to do.  I find that I like variety but I am wondering at what cost? 

The path for me this coming year is writing.  I am hesitant to reveal my overall life's goals for fear it won't happen.  (In the past, I have noticed that when I say I will do something, it generally never happens.  When I think about accomplishing something, I am more likely to do it and then surprise others and myself with that accomplishment.)

What about you?  Have you ever thought of your life as a series of paths?  Do you wander  here and there, like Billy from The Family Circus comic strips? Or do you stay on a specific path, never veering left or right?  Do you feel that you are effective in your life?  Are the distractions of the different paths causing you to not finish what you start?  Are the many paths providing joy or frustration?  Perhaps 2017 will be the year to challenge yourself to finding a path that provides joy.

How many paths do you traverse?  One or thirty?  How many paths will you traverse in 2017? 

Living Out Loud

I was watching the Oprah Winfrey special of Michelle Obama's farewell interview.  Whether you agree with her husband's politics or not you have to agree that she is certainly a poised and polished speaker.  She is gracious and kind and smart.  I like that she takes the high road and that she is not apologetic about her life.  She is living her life out loud.

I think of other ladies that I "know"; famous ones about whom I have read and the not so famous ones about whom I encounter daily.  What makes them inspirational?  I think it comes down to being authentic. They have a good sense of self.  They are gracious, kind, and wise.  They have a good sense of self and situational humor.  They are loving and generous. 

They are the ones who take the high road and refuse to stoop to levels that don't reflect their values. 

They are living their lives out loud. 

How do you go about that?

• Being confident in who and whose you are.  "You are fearfully and wonderfully made" says the Bible.
• Being a grown up. Not hiding behind others nor blaming others especially when things do not go well.  Fess up to mistakes and move on.
• Being resourceful.  Know what is available and to be willing to ask for help.
• Being vulnerable.  Willing to find out information if you don't know.  Willing to share your struggles and limitations. 
• Being generous.  Know that sharing one's resources, values, faith- in essence one's life has a way of coming back to you. 
• Being authentic.  Being honest about yourself - good, bad, and the ugly.

What about you?  Know any inspirational ladies?  Are you an inspirational women?  What else makes a person inspirational?  What makes someone live her life out loud?  What does that look like for you? How can you cultivate authenticity in your life?  

Are you living your life out loud? 

Choices

What choices have you made today?  

Get up with the alarm or hit the snooze button?  Shave or go with a little stubble? Boxers or briefs? Skirt or pants? Eggs or oatmeal?  Tell your boss his project idea isn't going to work or smile and start planning? Visit that family member or decide to stay home?  Ride the train or drive? Ask the cute co-worker for coffee or remain silent?  Say yes to the job offer across the country or look for something closer to home?  Go to church or sleep in?

Every day in every way we have choices.  Some are major.  Some are minor.  Most are lifestyle preferences on how we feel on a particular day. Major or minor, what we choose says something about us and our values. 

I was thinking about choices and attitudes recently.  The other day I was riding my bicycle to do some errands.  It was so much easier to go to the store and the shopping mall on my bike rather than contend with the long holiday traffic lines. But I had a practical reason for riding as we are down to one car and that particular car was "in the shop".  I needed some sort of transportation and the bicycle was it.

Our one car lifestyle is a lifestyle choice. We are choosing to reduce our carbon footprint.  We are choosing to take time and research our next car options so that we can purchase a car that matches our needs. We are choosing to save up our money so we can buy our next car without a loan.  We are choosing to see if we can live in a place where there is (limited) public transportation and "bike paths".   When I view the decision for one car as our choice I am much better in my attitude.

Many years ago we were down to one car.  We were seeing how long we could go without purchasing another much needed second car.   It took a lot of coordination of schedules, "I need the car on Wednesday.  You need it Thursday night." etc.  At that time, the choice for the one car was necessitated by a total car accident of our previous car and not one that we had readily chosen. 

How I internally complained about our situation!  As I would be walking along, pushing our two young boys in the stroller, struggling under grocery bags, every passing car seemed to mock me. "Why don't you have a car?  We have a car- ha, ha, ha."  

But I am so grateful for that experience.  Our two boys developed into wonderful walkers. When they were quite small I remember taking them to Washington DC with a friend and her two "slightly older than ours" children.  Our guys just kept plugging along, never flagging while the friend's children had a little bit of a struggle.  Also, the experience has made all of us more aware of others' transportation plights, the development of cities and what we as citizens can choose to do. 

So as I was pedaling along the other day, I realized that I had none of the animosity and annoyance in our current one car choice as I did with the previous time.  For me it was because I have chosen to live like this. I have the pleasure of exercising and doing an errand. I have the opportunity to explore areas of our town that I cannot traverse in the car. I have the satisfaction in knowing that I am living my beliefs. 

What a difference a shift in attitude and perspective make.    Because I made the choice and it wasn't decided for me, I feel that I have options.  The end result is the same- one car- yet my attitude is totally different as I pass motorists.  No longer do I feel that they are mocking me.  I feel confident with the ease in which I travel and with the fun that I am experiencing. 

What about you?  What choices have you made?  Are making?  Are some of your choices thrust upon you or can you decide for yourself?  In dealing with other people, do you make the choices for them or do you allow them to do so?  What are you having to decide that could be handled differently with an attitude and perspective choice? 

Finish!

When I first took tennis lessons I had a pro constantly call out, "Finish!!"  What he meant was that as I swung through and hit the ball, I needed to finish the swing- taking my racquet and arm through the shot and end with my elbow high and the racquet almost wrapped around my torso. It took a while for me to achieve it and even now I need to remind myself, "finish!"

I have found that I also use that expression when I am in the middle of a project, activity or even asking others in my family to complete their tasks.  "Finish", I say under my breath as I see the rinsed-out, yet not- in-the-dishwasher cereal bowl in the sink.  "Finish", I tell myself when I want to stop running after only ten steps.  "Finish", I will encourage when I want to leave the drop cloths on the floor, the paint on the brushes, and the trim unpainted. 

Turns out the uncompleted project is a common occurrence.  In January's issue of Real Simple, an author described her frustration with having numerous undone projects and explores the why and how she can accomplish them.  She visits a life coach, a psychologist, checks out helpful technology for keeping on task and even hires a personal assistant.  She learns why she is the way she is. She learns that as a woman there are hormonal reasons and times to be motivated. She spends an inordinate amount of money to have a stranger finish a craft project favor for her daughter's birthday party even though she gets much enjoyment from making her own crafts. 

Bottom line:  "Finish".

We might know why we are the way we are; e.g. undiagnosed ADHD or poor modeling from multiple achiever parents.  We might have a plan to save and hire a personal assistant (her NYC based personal assistant cost $85/hour).  We might even have "permission" to finish the task through a work related article.  Yet with all that information, we still feel the weight of unfinished projects and the stress of getting them all done. 

So...

There comes the time when we just have to take the initiative and figure out what is needed to do (watch the ball); pull back our arm in preparation (gather information, tools, resources for what we need); contact the ball (start what is necessary) and finish through with the swing (complete the whole movement or activity without going on to the next).

I think I want to finish some of my undone projects.  Either that, or just get rid of the projects realizing that they will never be finished and why carry all that guilt.  

What about you?  Do you have unfinished projects?  How does that make you feel?  What will you do about them?  What do you need to do to "Finish!"?

The Book of Doing

As I am want to do, I was looking at used books at a local thrift shop.  I was wanting my own copy of Moby Dick and I just had a feeling that there might be a discarded, hardly read copy from someone's English class.  Eureka.  Found one in pristine condition.

I also happened upon this little gem:  The Book of Doing:  Everyday Activities to Unlock Your Creativity and Joy  by Allison Arden.  She reminds the reader that  we have turned joyful pursuits into chores. "We've minimized the value of what these acts of personal creation can fuel in our society: the perspective, centeredness, and sense of accomplishment they give us. ....In the same way we have allowed technology to infiltrate every area of our lives, we must allow our creativity and passions to infuse our daily activities."  Amen sister!

And so, dear reader I offer to you some of the suggestions from her book (and a few of my own).  Perhaps 2017 can be the year that you try and engage in some type of creative doing.  It doesn't have to be the beret-wearing, scarf-tossing artist (accent on the second syllable).  Doing can encompass anything, as Ms. Arden states, "Creating, making, mastering,  perfecting, helping, inventing, initiating, experimenting, learning, drawing, changing, constructing, reading, moving, trying, challenging, testing, building, writing singing, dancing, hosting, cooking, painting tasting, sharing, smelling, imitating, playing, enjoying, being, giving,  

"It is not in doing what you like, but in liking what you do that is the secret of happiness." ~J.M. Barrie, creator of Peter Pan.

Here are some suggestions:

• Master how to say "hello", "please" and "thank you" in five different languages  (once you have done that, go on to completely learn a language- at least be able to communicate if you travel)
• Remove the words, "never", "can't", and "stupid" from your vocabulary (think of other frequent words you might use and try to change them up)
• Add a new word to your vocabulary each week (https://www.vocabulary.com/ is an online "game" for learning new words)
• Train to participate in a something-a thon ( marathon, bike-a-thon, bowl-a-thon, etc.)
• Be inspired by a dish you love from a restaurant and try duplicating at home
• Taste a slice of pizza from every shop in town- rate it  (bring friends and/or family along.  If pizza is not your thing- try ice cream, same type of sandwich, coffee or tea)
• Look at the world through a camera lens (literally  as you see things through new angles and then figuratively as you view the same ole, same ole in a different light)
• Learn to play chess
• Go to a farm where you can pick your own fruits and veggies. (make something with the harvest)
• Craft something special out of a sentimental piece of clothing (favorite t-shirts into throw pillows or quilts)
• Change something "unmovable" ( your birthday, a room, your hair, your point of view)
• Build something out of a natural material- preferably if you "find" the material on a nature walk (last year I made a bamboo fence to contain our raspberries)
• Pick and celebrate quotes that Inspire you  (pin them up around your desk, mirror, by the kitchen sink)
• Memorize a poem or scripture  (you'll never know when that gem will need to be recalled)

The point of all these suggestions is to get out there and do something.  Something that feeds your soul and opens you to new possibilities. Something that can stimulate one of your five senses.  As you do your activities, try to enjoy the experience.  I am going to try this year.  What about you? 

The Season of Joy

I love the word joy.  It just has such a wonderful image.  What I love about it is that it represents peace that transcends circumstance.  It is being able to say, "I am okay even in the midst of trouble.  I know that my present circumstance will not be forever and even if it is, there are things that I can learn and change and do about it."  It is viewing our situations and problems as opportunities.

I have heard various people talk about happiness and joy lately.  Totally unrelated conversations which makes me think that this is a topic in which I need assistance. In each of those discussions the conclusion has been that joy and happiness are different. Happiness is dependent upon surroundings. The focus becomes on achieving and getting things and that those things will provide happiness.  Isn't that the crux of the materialistic holidays?  Or that happiness has to be a reaction to what has occurred.  If the surroundings aren't quite good enough then one is unhappy. Life is miserable until something else happens that may provide a positive reaction.  Then we feel "happy".

I think of joy as the serene, gracious wiser sibling.  The one who seems to be unruffled and steady during difficulties.  The one who remains calm, speaks in a pleasant tone and doesn't fly off the handle.  The one who is unfazed if things don't go his way.  The one who is content whether he has much or he has little.  The one who is confident in all circumstances. 

I think of the past to the many times when I didn't exemplify poise in a situation. Times when I certainly wasn't full of joy.  Times when I let my unhappiness because "things didn't workout the way I wanted" spill out in my speech. Times when I railed against the "injustice" or aka "not getting the things I wanted" of my life. How ridiculous. How unattractive.  How childish. 

Joy comes from contentment. Joy comes from hope.  Joy comes from God.

The world is is need of joy this season.  I am in need of joy this season. What about you?  Can you replace happiness with joy this season?  This coming year? 

Christmas in Your City

Last year's Christmas in the City winter wonderland.  Took place in an airplane hangar. 

This is the time of year when there are all the feel good stories and anecdotes about Christmas past and present.  It is wonderful and I welcome the stories but I can't help wondering- how come there aren't more of these type of stories the rest of the year?  Why aren't we on the look out for opportunities to help one another once the season of comfort and joy are over?  Why do we share good cheer in December but come January we spread misery? 

I heard of a heartwarming tale that has taken place in Boston every Christmas for the last twenty-seven years.  In 1988 one family realized how much they received at Christmas and thought that the following year they would try to do something about it.  So, the following year, two brothers, their employees and clients decided to make a special Christmas memory for the homeless in their community.  

This all volunteer organization provides a day in which the hundreds of families who attend will have a celebration, receive a meal and presents.  But what was once just an annual event has now expanded. They now have job training and other events during the year.  As they say on their website: 

"Each year, Christmas in the City brings holiday magic to thousands of Boston-area kids and their families – kids and families who’ve been experiencing the uncertainty of homelessness and the stress of poverty. Our annual party for those living in homeless shelters is a spectacular, go-all-out holiday event that many kids tell us is the best day of their lives. We also “play Santa” to thousands of other children who live in poverty, and provide assistance throughout the year to help families successfully transition from homelessness to independent living."  Click here to read more. 

Much as it is important to celebrate Christmas and to help others during the holidays, I really like that they have other programming throughout the year. Homelessness and poverty do not recognize calendar holidays and do not take breaks. There are no special days for those who are experiencing this type of troubles. 

I also like that this is a 100% volunteer organization.  Everyone does their bit and part.  And in doing so, a truly amazing event takes place. (check out the pictures- this truly is a spectacular party.)  I am sure that there must be great organizers to make this event work.  How wonderful that each person brings his or her gift to benefit others.  After all, isn't that the true meaning of Christmas: the teenager mother who gave the gift of obedience to be used by God, the wisemen who gave practical gifts to the care of the newborn king, and the God who humbled himself as the small baby in order to give us the greatest gift of eternal life.

What would it look like if we "gave away" our gifts, talents, and resources? Who could we benefit?  In all the cases of those who "gave away", they would say that they received so much more. 

Are there programs in your city that help those less fortunate?  Do they continue throughout the year?   If there isn't a specific program, what can you do to either replicate a Christmas in the City type program or design something specific for your city? 

What is Christmas like in your city?

Grown Up Christmas List

What is on your Christmas List?  Did you ever write one when you were little?  Do you still make them out? Or have you given up the practice? 

I guess I wrote a Christmas list when I was little. With my love of lists I am sure that I must've. Funny that I can't remember any specific one.  

I also cannot remember pleading and cajoling my parents for a specific toy or gift.  I am sure that I did hound them. My parents probably had the annual holiday headache over hearing me talk about an item and in trying to acquire said item.  Yet I cannot remember ever getting the "popular" sold out toy.  I don't think that phenomenon was around when I was little.  (I think that started with the Cabbage Patch Kids which was part of my nieces and nephews younger years.)

It just seems that the process of naming what we want and writing it down and the anticipation of receiving the gift almost seems greater than the actual item.  We can have all those moments of pleasure thinking about the gift. It is the joy of delayed gratification. 

Yet it seems that once the gift is given and received, we are not as interested in it anymore.  Or at least it loses its charm and appeal.  It is as if all our energy was spent on imaging the gift and now that the gift has arrived, we are spent- tired of the item before it has been used.  In many cases, we cannot even remember what the fuss was all about.

I remember one year my son had a remote control motorcycle on his Christmas list. Or my father-in-law had heard some of his golf buddies talking about a remote control motorcycle that they were getting their grandchildren.  Either way, my father-in-law moved heaven and earth (or at least all the Toys R Us stores in our metropolitan area) to purchase it.  Our son enjoyed it very much.  For the first couple of days.  But after awhile, the difficult-to-acquire toy found its way to the bottom of the toy cabinet. 

I am wondering about that experience as I ponder the next chapter in my life.  I have thought for a long time the personal and career items I want to accomplish and achieve. I even have a list of material possessions that I would want: type of home, contents of home, location of said home, type of car, etc.  But even those lists are like the fantastical lists that our childish selves write to Santa: totally unrealistic and impractical.

What do I really want?

I find that I have a hard time writing down what I want.  Oh sure, I have those lists of my ideal items but what if that list was definitive?  And that which was written on my list was what I would receive. No more. No less.  Would I truly be content and happy with it?   Would it be overwhelming or not enough?  Would I be listing the right things for the current me as well as the future me?  Would I grow weary with my requests even before I received them?  If it all came to me at once, would I miss the excitement of the next year or stage of my life? 

I guess I have come to the conclusion that, while I have lists of accomplishments and goals, my ultimate list would be deferred to the One who knows me better than myself: the One who created me and who loves me.  Not that I am absolving myself of any responsibility of living my life.  I just have come to the conclusion that I will trust God in directing my steps for my future plans.  Certainly I have my part to do: to be as educated, healthy, curious, well rounded, and developed in my specific gifts and talents.  But for choosing the best course of action, I choose to let "Thy Will Be done." 

I think I will let my Christmas List be fulfilled by God and what He has in store for me.

What about you?   

Toothpaste Lies

There was an interesting story on the NPR Story Corp. A 94 year old gentleman originally from Atlantic City, NJ shared a shameful secret that he has been harboring all these years:

"When I was 8 years old, I was running in the schoolyard and my arm struck the eyeglasses of one of the students. And he began to cry. He was going to tell his father. It would cost two dollars to fix the glasses. And I was frightened to death — where was I going to get the two dollars?  We had a cleaning lady by the name of Pearl, a black woman. And I knew that every week, she’d get two dollars for her services. On this particular day, I was so terrified, I took the two dollars, and took it to the teacher and settled the problem of the broken glasses.

When Pearl finished her day’s work, she went for the two dollars and they weren’t there. And my mother said there was no question that Pearl took the two dollars and didn’t admit it. And my mother was so angry, that she told Pearl not to come back anymore.  And then the word leaked out that Pearl was a thief, and Pearl couldn’t get another job. And she had several children.

I was the only one who knew the true story. And I didn’t tell anyone. And I was smitten with grief at what I had done. I kept that secret to the age of 94, which is hard to believe, but the event never left me."

What a story.  Makes one realize that our parents' admonishment to tell the truth regardless of the outcome was true. I know that as a parent, a lie sets me into an orbit of anger.  I have always said that I prefer the truth (and would try and not get angry even if the truth and the subsequent incident was caused by stupidity or poor judgement) over any lie. Lying has deep implications. There is no such thing as an insulated incident. The choices we make in one incident affect the choices of others. It becomes the domino effect.  What happened to Pearl?  Since she was "blackballed" from getting another job, what did she do? What happened to her children?

It reminds me of the analogy of toothpaste and lies. When we lie it is like squeezing too much toothpaste out of the tube. It cannot go back. We must be judicious in how much toothpaste we use. So too, we must be judicious with the words that we use. We have to weigh our words carefully. Once a lie is spoken, it is out there forever.  We can try and rectify it but ultimately the words cannot go back.  And in the case of destroying a reputation, those lies are toxic.  

Certainly, one can see the rationale behind the eight-year-old's decision; he was scared, he wanted to do what was right with the glasses and he probably didn't think the $2 was such a big deal for his mother- she could just give Pearl some more. He probably never thought that his mom would accuse Pearl of taking the original $2 and claiming that she didn't get it.

 And, who are we to judge? After all, I am sure all of us have had situations where we have lied and not "fessed" up. Perhaps we would tell ourselves that those little white lies didn't harm anyone, but did they?  Do we really know the lengths and depths of the impact of the words we say?  In the case of this elderly gentleman, the lie was with him his entire life. 

What about you?  Have you ever done something of which you were ashamed?  Have you ever told anyone?  Is it something that you can try and "repair" any damage? 

What do you do when you encounter lies in others?  Do you challenge it?  Do you ask for the truth?  Do you have to be a detective to suss out the truth?  Is it worth the effort?  

Maybe our tube of toothpaste can be a daily reminder that our words are to be truthful. That anything coming out of our mouth should be used for good. 

Passion

No judgements here, but really?  I am sure the heroine has amethyst or jade color eyes. 

How passionate are you? I am not talking the bodice ripping, pulsating harlequin romance type of passion but the type of passion as defined by oxforddictionaries.com, "an intense desire or enthusiasm for something, a thing arousing a great enthusiasm". 

I attended a lecture the other week where the speaker was quite passionate in his subject about a very obscure historical object that was used in determining the Mason Dixon line.  I knew of the line and have crossed it many times but because of his enthusiasm I am more appreciative of it, how it came about and in the men who surveyed it.   I now see the maps and historical letters and documents with appreciative eyes. 

I am sure that you have probably had a similar instance if you ever had a passionate school teacher on a subject. My high school English teacher was passionate about Shakespeare and so I love the Bard's plays. Alas, much to my Physics major husband, my high school Physics professor's passion didn't rub off on me. 

But that speaker did get me thinking:  About what am I passionate?  What stirs my soul?  What arouses an enthusiasm in me?   Do I inspire an enthusiasm in others? 

I am always so impressed with people who are laser focused on a subject and seem to know an inexhaustible amount of information on that subject.  They are the subject experts.  They know what they know.  They stand for something. Their knowledge base becomes their identity.

The more I live, the more I know that I don't know.  As my grandmother predicted many years ago, "jack of all trades, master of none."   In some ways I find that upsetting, because it seems that mastering something becomes who one is.  So, more than not knowing a subject thoroughly, I am wondering about my identity.  For what do I stand?  And, if I stand for it, do I know that subject or viewpoint or theory as an expert?  Should I?

What about you?  Have you ever wondered about your knowledge base?  What do you know?  About what are you passionate?  Is/should that be one and the same? What is your identity?  Are you an expert on that? Does that knowledge inspire others?  Does your enthusiasm rub off? 

What's your passion?

Thinking Outside The Trash Can

WWII poster encouraging civilians to do their part. Source: http://www.usda.gov/oce/foodwaste/resources/consumers.htm

I guess because it is the holiday season, food has been on my mind.  In going to the grocery store these last couple of weeks I am reminded of the blessings of the many many food choices and the quantity of items in everyone's (my own included) carts.  There was an interesting article in the November issue of Reader's Digest about ordinary people who are concerned with how we use our food resources and how best not to waste it.  These individuals have thought of different ways to either help with the distribution of food or highlight the problem of food waste.  

According to the US Department of Agriculture the US wastes between 30-40% of food.  Food that is/was perfectly edible gets thrown into the land fills.  The USDA notes that in 2010, that equated to 133 billion pounds of food and $161 billion worth of food that was wasted.  It is more than a problem of edible food wasted- there is an impact on our environment.  As stated on their website,  "the land, water, labor, energy and other inputs used in producing, processing, transporting, preparing, storing, and disposing of discarded food are pulled away from uses that may have been more beneficial to society".  Food waste is the single largest component going into our landfills causing landfills to be the third largest source of methane production.  

On top of all that, there is the problem that people could have benefited from the food. As a country we are blessed with seemingly unlimited food resources, yet there are those among us who do no have enough to eat or enough healthy food to eat. When you think that there are people who go to bed hungry it seems a sin. It is not a question of our country not having the resources, but more of an equitable distribution of the food. 

There is a woman from California who has designed an app for restaurants or businesses who have excess food to alert those in need- non-profits, food kitchens, etc. of edible food that won't become food waste.  By using the technology of an app, those with excess food can alert those who can distribute it before the food becomes perishable.  Her program operates in over 40 cities in Northern California. Hopefully in building an infrastructure in other areas the program can be replicated beyond the California region.  Click here to download her app

On the East Coast, a group is demonstrating the problem of food waste by offering dinner in a dumpster.  "One man's trash in another man's 6-course meal."   They are highlighting the problem by using "imperfect" food in their creative meal plans.  e.g. Office Coffee Butter & Recycled Rice Bread -Fresh butter whipped with an end-of-the-day office coffee reduction. Served on freshly baked bread with yesterday's rice or Broccoli Stalk Slaw - Shaved stalk of broccoli and blanched organic carrot peel with a soy-ginger drizzle, topped with black sesame.

They serve the meal in a (sanitized) dumpster.  As is only in New York City, it is a big hit. One needs reservations and there is a waiting list.  It certainly engages people in a conversation and raises their awareness of food purchasing and food preparation that decreases waste.  "Salvage Supperclub exists to create inspiring food experiences with a purpose. We recognize how essential food is to all of us, but believe that the power of a shared meal can (and should) go beyond our base needs. It should not only nourish us but also delight and empower us. We don't just make great food. We put great food at the center of a dialogue about a more sustainable food system. We hope you'll join us."  Click here to see their website and pictures of their meals.

The last story was about a former NFL football player who gave up his materialistic life to be a farmer who shares his bounty with others less fortunate.  Jason Brown played for the St. Louis Rams but felt a calling to not just use his money to buy food and donate it but to actually be part of the solution. As he says, "I had to be out there doing the work and leading the way."   His produce is given to local food pantries, churches and food banks in Eastern North Carolina.  His ministry is called First Fruits Farms. Click here to see his website

I have heard of other similar food distribution programs:  Campus Kitchen (college campuses give their excess to the local food bank) or Society of St. Andrew (an after harvest, gleaning-the-extra program to gather fresh produce) to name two.   On the USDA website there are many other national programs.  Click here to see a list of national food recovery programs

What I love about these stories and these programs is that they are comprised of ordinary people.  People like you and me who have decided to act on an issue that was laid on their heart.  They used their interests, talents and resources to create something bigger than themselves.  And, they came up with ideas "outside the box"- looking at a problem in a different light. 

What about you?  Have you ever had an idea about a social situation?  Did it seem impossible to you?  Are there others who feel the same way?  How can you take steps to try it out?  Or can you partner with someone who is already doing something similar?  

How are you and your family with food waste?  Do you find mystery items in your fridge that need to be thrown out?  Do you end up scraping half of your meal into the trash?  Would you say that 30-40% of the food coming into your household is wasted?  Higher?  Lower?  Are your "eyes bigger than your stomach" at restaurants? 

EPA's Suggestions for Reducing Food Waste:

• Shop your refrigerator first! Cook or eat what you already have at home before buying more.
• Plan your menu before you go shopping and buy only those things on your menu.
• Buy only what you realistically need and will use. Buying in bulk only saves money if you are able to use the food before it spoils.
• Be creative! If safe and healthy, use the edible parts of food that you normally do not eat. For example, stale bread can be used to make croutons and beet tops can be sautèed for a delicious side dish.
• Freeze, preserve, or can surplus fruits and vegetables - especially abundant seasonal produce.
• At restaurants, order only what you can finish by asking about portion sizes and be aware of side dishes included with entrees. Take home the leftovers and keep them for your next meal.
• At all-you-can-eat buffets, take only what you can eat.

Incredible Edible Food

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, our sons were home for a visit.  Our one son introduced me to some of his favorite podcasts.  One was about a town and its fruits and veggies program. "Incredible Edible Todmorden".  It is such an incredible project.  What started as a germ of an idea (no pun intended) has been replicated in other communities on almost every continent. 

https://www.incredible-edible-todmorden.co.uk/home

According to their website, Incredible Edible Todmorden  is "A movement made up of passionate people working together for a world where all share responsibility for the future wellbeing of our planet and ourselves. We aim to provide access to good local food for all, through working together; learning – from field to classroom to kitchen; supporting local business"

It started as such a simple idea.  Why don't we plan edible food gardens, open to all, around town?  There was usable space in front of the rail station, the police station and the health clinic.  And so, a group of volunteers planted raised beds of fruits, veggies and herbs.  The results- anyone can pick and benefit from the food. Once they started planting, the question then became- who knows about growing food?  The older citizens of course.  So, they became engaged.  As the community saw how food was grown, the residents became more supportive of local farmers and businesses.  In seeing how the community appreciated the food, there was a concern that the local students needed to have agriculture classes and so curriculum was changed and developed for the local schools.  There are all sorts of learning going on- from landscape designing, planting, tending, harvesting to cooking and enjoying the fruits of their labors.  That simple idea has a multitude of benefits:

• Brings communities together- food is there to share
• Reduces vandalism and crime- people have respect for community spaces
• Engages all walks of life and all ages- their motto, "If you eat, you are in."
• Increases local businesses- the have a food tourisms in their town, people from all over want to see how the incredible edible process works
• Involves all civic entities, like retirement homes and schools - educational programs have been developed for the young people 
• Replicated in other towns and jurisdictions- over 120 towns in UK and over 700 globally

What an exciting project.  I especially like that the people who became involved had said enough of waiting for the government to do something.  They realized that there was a responsibility that we all share with the environment, food and with one another. They didn't wait for permission or grants.  They just did it. As one of the founding members, Pam Warhurst, says about the benefit of the process,  "once we start the power of small actions, we start to believe in ourselves." 

Click here to listen to the TED talk from Pam. 

You will be inspired and encouraged.   You may not be in a position to have an edible garden or live in a community that does.  However, their story might inspire you that by doing small actions you can create change. It will give you faith and hope in a broken world.  

The African Doctor

The other night my husband and I watched a movie, The African Doctor.   It is a 2016 French film about a newly graduated Congolese doctor who becomes the doctor for a small conservative village in France.  Seyolo Zantoko struggles with his family to integrate into a small rural village and ends up being considered as one of the most respected doctors in the area.  It is a heart-warming "true" story.

What I liked was the idea that community begins when Dr. Zantoko and some villagers take the risk to get to know one another.  In this case, the doctor joins the men in learning to play darts at the local pub.  

Makes me think about getting to know the strangers in my midst.  Do I take the risk in getting to know them?  Do I sacrifice time with those I already know in order to greet and meet those whom I don't?  Should I? 

I think there is a responsibility in community to take that risk; whether that is a group with which I am involved, my neighbors in community or in the larger world.  Of course there are times when we do need to "honker down home" and regroup with people who already know us.  We need the stability of established relationships to get through a patch of tough time. But to permanently settle into little isolated segments does nothing to promote understanding, connection and peace in the world.

I know that I have talked a lot about this topic on these blog postings.  But it seems every where I turn I see disconnect- people not only disagreeing but violently so.  Communities, cross the globe are closing in ranks and hiding behind a curtain of nationalism and isolationism.  

Yet, I also see glimmers of people reaching out to one another and in doing so are forming broader communities.  Perhaps it is due to a common enemy that is drawing dissimilar people together.  But I would hope that it is because love always trumps hate. Love takes risks. Love takes time.  Love is the only hope for society to continue.  

It makes my day better knowing that I have connected to someone- whether that is a smile, kind word or long chat.  Hopefully it is reciprocated-  that "someone's" day has improved too in knowing that there has been a connection.  It is looking for commonalities rather than differences.  In The African Doctor, it was the common cause of the children and their activities that finally cemented the relationship between the Zantoko family and the village.

What about you?  Do have any time this holiday weekend to connect to someone else?  A long distant relative or friend?  A stranger in the store?  Have you seen any movies  or read any books lately where these theme of connection have occurred?  What were the titles?  What spoke to you in these stories? Were there any truths to be gleaned? 

Instead of letting things happen around you, what steps can you take to keep the means of connection open? What activities can you find that might connect you with people you wouldn't normally associate? 

How would you respond if you were plunked down into a community where you didn't know anyone?  How would you connect?  Perhaps it is time that we all think of others in that way. 

How To Give Thanks

Do you feel thankful this holiday?   I am feeling conflicted this season.  In the big scheme of things I am quite thankful- for my faith, my family, my health and all the material blessings I have. Yet in the microcosm of my life, I am not too grateful.  I find myself grumbling, complaining and disappointed that my life is in the pattern it is.

I realize that I need an attitude adjustment.  I need to learn contentment and gratitude. I need to learn how to give thanks.

I was doing my daily Bible reading and came across these  verses from the book of Hebrews 13:5, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 

It dawned on me.  Perhaps I am not overly pursuing a life that reflects a love of money (or at least not intentionally)  but I am most certainly trying to manipulate my future to go my way and when it doesn't, I find that I get annoyed and cranky.  Part of the sin of loving money is that in its pursuit we forget that we are not in control. I wasn't leaning on God and trusting Him with my thoughts, dreams and plans.  I was allowing my focus to be on the smallness of my life and all the "slights" against me causing me to try and handle it all myself like the Little Red Hen.  I was idolizing me. 

I came across an article in the November issue of "Real Simple".  It was suggesting how to be grateful (when you really don't feel like it).  I liked the ideas because cultivating gratitude lifts our thoughts from ourselves and can help shift our attitude to being thankful and grateful for our circumstances.  It is then we can recognize contentment in whatever that situation might be. Below are some of those suggestions as well as my own: 

• Gratitude can be simple and subtle. In Hebrew the term for gratitude is hakarat hatov, which means "recognizing the good". A reframing of our attitude might be to "reorient ourselves around things that we should already be grateful for".  So, it might not be so hard to "find" gratitude rather look for the small things which already occur- e.g. a garaged car that keeps the windshield free from frost and the daily morning scraping that non garaged car neighbors have to endure.
• List your blessings.  Focus on the big four- food, family, health and shelter. If you have to break them down to the smallest item, e.g.  breathing without oxygen assistance,  then do so.
• Cultivate a grateful eye.  I was raking the leaves in our yard the other day.  There is a neighbor's tree that drops the smallest sliver of leaves possible onto our front yard.  The tines of the rake cannot pick them up.  The only way to collect them  is to use a gasoline powered mower.  In the back of our house there is a HUGE sycamore tree on the adjacent county property.  Not only is the tree big and drops limbs but the leaves are the size of dinner plates.  As I was picking up the sycamore leaves I thought, "I am so grateful that the small tree is in front and the larger one is back here" as I had to pick up by hand the large sycamore leaves as they had fallen over the pebble walkway around our potting shed and pond.  If I used a rake or any other type of machinery I would also denude the path of pebbles. 
• Look at the way you say thank-you.  Is it automatic or can you look at the way someone is helping you with a cost-benefit eye?  Notice not just the money spent but the time and effort and energy it took.  "Thinking about everyday kindnesses like that will make you way more grateful." 
• Share  your thanksgiving/gratitude stories with others.  Here are some conversation starters for the Thanksgiving table:
  • What's the nicest thing that anyone has done for you this year?
  • What the nicest thing that you've seen someone else-friend, coach, family member, teacher- do for another person?
  • If you  had one super power that you could use to make a difference int he world, what would it be?  What would you do with it?
  • What are you most grateful for that doesn't cost money?

What about you?  How's your attitude this Thanksgiving holiday?  Do you need an attitude adjustment?  What can you do?  Have you ever counted your blessings?  Actually written them down as assets?   Have you ever shared your feelings of gratitude with others?  

Why Give Thanks?

"The First Thanksgiving" (1915), by Jean Louis Gerome Ferris (American painter, 1863-1930).

Do you ever wonder why we have Thanksgiving?  Sure, we have all learned about the Pilgrims and their first feast in Plymouth.  We have read about George Washington's issuing a proclamation that November 26, 1789 would be a day of national thanksgiving for the role of providence in creating the United States. We know that  Abraham Lincoln's declaration of an annual federal celebration the fourth Thursday in November is what prompts our yearly migration to home and hearth.

No, I am talking about why as humans we feel the need to have any type of thanksgiving celebration at all.  Almost all cultures going back many millennium have the need to have some type of yearly festival. Whether it was to appease the gods or to share in extra harvest abundance, why did we feel the need to give thanks?  

I think it is because on some basic biological level we as humans know that there is something larger than ourselves at work in the world. Deep down we know that there is more than just our small existence and that we intrinsically look to something else for the bounty and situations in which we find ourselves. 

I think in trying to understand why we give thinks, we should look at whom we thank- the earth, the stars, the moon, a human-made deity, a specific religious person?  

I am in the C.S. Lewis camp that although differing religions have many similar values- truth, goodness, kindness, etc., Christianity is the only religion that can point to its founder as alive and living among us.  Not to go into apologetics but there is historic evidence that the prophet Jesus was seen walking, eating, talking after his crucification. He is the true living God. 

I think that it is that pull to God and Jesus that subconsciously draws us to gather and give thanks. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we cannot rely on ourselves for all that we have received, nor can we be the ones in charge of our lives. Similar to Blaise Pascal's quote which in the vernacular has been quoted as  "there is a God-shaped vacuum inside all of us."  Below are the actual words from his book, Pensees, published in 1670: 

“What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself” - Blaise Pascal, Pensées VII(425)

Sure we have the pull of the obligatory family Thanksgiving gathering, but it goes beyond that: the practice of thanksgiving is good for our souls. 

• We recognize that the blessings we have are not all from our own doing.
• We recognize that others also receive blessings not from their own doing.
• We can recognize that our experiences are not so bad when hearing about others' situations.
• We recognize that difficult and bad situations may have some positive aspects and that time can smooth out rough patches.
• We are humbled by that knowledge and perspective of our lives.
• We can then be open, compassionate and vulnerable to others and grateful for what we do and do not have. 
• We recognize that there are some things that bear no explanation- it is only through the grace of God we are in the place where we are.
• We can then experience the authentic and abundant life of a grateful and thankful heart.

What about you?  Why do you give thanks?  Have you ever done a yearly inventory of your life?  What is important to you? What do you believe?  What are the positive and negative things in your life?  Are there situations or experiences in your life that have no explanation?  Is it an abyss that can only be filled with God? How about the people you know and love? Why do they give thanks?  For what are you and they grateful?  Does that ever connect you? 

Why give thanks?  It is an opportunity to be connected to others, to ourselves and to God.