The other day I heard a story about a woman who wanted to do something for her friend who had cancer. Because of the ordeal of the treatment and illness, the sick woman didn’t have a chance to care for her house the way she liked it to be- well-tended gardens, clean and organized inside. Her husband was doing the best he could but it wasn’t just the way she liked it. And while the woman with cancer wouldn’t complain about the state of things, her friend knew that she would be pleased to have some help.

In a spontaneous gesture, while the sick woman was getting a long treatment, the friend called all the people she knew to come and do a blitzkrieg clean/spruce up event at the house. There were people in each room working as well as outside landscaping. When the sick woman drove up to the house she was just amazed and so pleased. The place looked wonderful and she was very appreciative of her friends. Turned out that was the last time that woman was outside her house looking at it because shortly thereafter she died in the house.

As the woman telling the story said, whenever you have a chance, take the opportunity to show love to others for you never know what is going to happen.

I’ve been thinking about that idea of taking the opportunity to love. Just recently we heard of another teen taking his life. Tragically in recent months we have had a number of friends and acquaintances whose family members have either attempted to end their lives or have succeeded.

In all these cases, I have no idea what was the prompting or the inner turmoil these young people experienced. It breaks my heart that they experienced such pain and hurt. Certainly the parents would give anything to turn back the hands of time.

It makes me realize that nothing else matters except love: we are made to give and receive love. Not that it is easy nor is love our emotional default, especially when we disagree with others or don’t really like them. But when tragedy occurs, it clarifies what is truly important.

But how do we express love? Our culture doesn’t do it very well. We either go overboard and “love” something superficial like an item of clothing or piece of cake or have complete apathy and disregard for things or people that don’t satisfy our desires or expectations.

A glance at the various psychological/well-being websites or blogs on the topic of love finds many similar definitions for “how to show love to others”: active listener; celebrate what makes the person unique; keep one’s promises; show trust; be interested in their interests; practice simple acts of kindness; anticipate the other’s needs; value their opinion; encourage the other; want the best for the other; have the other person’s back. As I read through the various lists, it struck me that once again, there is nothing new under the sun. The Apostle Paul shared a similar type list to the Corinthians.

What the Apostle Paul shared and what has been determined by current psychology: love is an action word. It requires us to do something, not just feel. It is not a feeling that focuses on ourselves and our desires. I like the way The Message describes Paul’s letter to the Corinthians:

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first’, doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end….

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it-because it does.” (1 Corinthians 13, The Message)

Not only does your life depend on a life of love but also the others you come in contact with. As a people reconciled to God and to each other, we need to lead with love and speak (through voice and actions) the language of love to others. Can you imagine how families, neighborhoods, and communities would be if we practiced leading with love? If we showed love when we had the opportunity? If we loved extravagantly?

What about you? Have you ever spontaneously showed love to someone? What happened? What can you do today to lead with love, however great or small, to the people around you? What does that look like?

All of us have the need to belong and to be loved. And all of us have the wherewithal in us to make others feel that they belong and are loved. As is with much of God’s economy that doesn’t “make sense” and turns our logical world upside down, if we lead with love first, love comes back to us.