Lead With Love

The other day I heard a story about a woman who wanted to do something for her friend who had cancer. Because of the ordeal of the treatment and illness, the sick woman didn’t have a chance to care for her house the way she liked it to be- well-tended gardens, clean and organized inside. Her husband was doing the best he could but it wasn’t just the way she liked it. And while the woman with cancer wouldn’t complain about the state of things, her friend knew that she would be pleased to have some help.

In a spontaneous gesture, while the sick woman was getting a long treatment, the friend called all the people she knew to come and do a blitzkrieg clean/spruce up event at the house. There were people in each room working as well as outside landscaping. When the sick woman drove up to the house she was just amazed and so pleased. The place looked wonderful and she was very appreciative of her friends. Turned out that was the last time that woman was outside her house looking at it because shortly thereafter she died in the house.

As the woman telling the story said, whenever you have a chance, take the opportunity to show love to others for you never know what is going to happen.

I’ve been thinking about that idea of taking the opportunity to love. Just recently we heard of another teen taking his life. Tragically in recent months we have had a number of friends and acquaintances whose family members have either attempted to end their lives or have succeeded.

In all these cases, I have no idea what was the prompting or the inner turmoil these young people experienced. It breaks my heart that they experienced such pain and hurt. Certainly the parents would give anything to turn back the hands of time.

It makes me realize that nothing else matters except love: we are made to give and receive love. Not that it is easy nor is love our emotional default, especially when we disagree with others or don’t really like them. But when tragedy occurs, it clarifies what is truly important.

But how do we express love? Our culture doesn’t do it very well. We either go overboard and “love” something superficial like an item of clothing or piece of cake or have complete apathy and disregard for things or people that don’t satisfy our desires or expectations.

A glance at the various psychological/well-being websites or blogs on the topic of love finds many similar definitions for “how to show love to others”: active listener; celebrate what makes the person unique; keep one’s promises; show trust; be interested in their interests; practice simple acts of kindness; anticipate the other’s needs; value their opinion; encourage the other; want the best for the other; have the other person’s back. As I read through the various lists, it struck me that once again, there is nothing new under the sun. The Apostle Paul shared a similar type list to the Corinthians.

What the Apostle Paul shared and what has been determined by current psychology: love is an action word. It requires us to do something, not just feel. It is not a feeling that focuses on ourselves and our desires. I like the way The Message describes Paul’s letter to the Corinthians:

“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first’, doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end….

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it-because it does.” (1 Corinthians 13, The Message)

Not only does your life depend on a life of love but also the others you come in contact with. As a people reconciled to God and to each other, we need to lead with love and speak (through voice and actions) the language of love to others. Can you imagine how families, neighborhoods, and communities would be if we practiced leading with love? If we showed love when we had the opportunity? If we loved extravagantly?

What about you? Have you ever spontaneously showed love to someone? What happened? What can you do today to lead with love, however great or small, to the people around you? What does that look like?

All of us have the need to belong and to be loved. And all of us have the wherewithal in us to make others feel that they belong and are loved. As is with much of God’s economy that doesn’t “make sense” and turns our logical world upside down, if we lead with love first, love comes back to us.

Mental Health Month

You are amazing. You are unique. You are brave. You are strong. You are loved.

Such were the sayings on the signs around the grounds of the psychiatric hospital as I biked through to get to the adjacent hospital and my doctor’s office for my annual check-up. It made me think of how universal the feeling of being loved, in essence, belonging is to us as humans. On one hand we want to be exclusive. Unique. Original. One of a kind. Yet, on the other hand we want the inclusion of being part of a tribe. To be like everyone else- part of a group. To belong. To be loved.

What I have found interesting as I age- it does not matter the age of an individual and this sense of belonging/not belonging. I know young children who are very comfortable with who they are and where they belong. I also know elderly people, who until they take their dying breath still feel inadequate and an outsider- even within their own family.

This month is mental health month. Mental health has always been important but it seems as if we are recognizing the importance more than ever as we all have been through the mental challenges of a pandemic: isolation, disruption of lifestyle, the economy, personal plans, and societal norms. While each person has experienced the pandemic in their individual way, we (humankind) have all had a similar experience.

There seems to be more awareness of recognizing that this past year has been tough on all of us and naming the emotions/feelings that we experienced. For many, dealing with the situational changes that stemmed from the pandemic, we were not equipped with tools in our toolbox. Perhaps we learned that we held our schedules, our loved ones, our very lives, too tightly. Maybe we recognized that we are anxious and angry for no apparent reason. Perhaps the pandemic awakened in us the need for self-care but were ineffective in implementing it.

The organization, Mental Health America has all sorts of tools and resources at their website: https://mhanational.org/mental-health-month You can download the entire toolkit or the bits that you find appropriate. There are practical ideas on all sorts of emotions and feelings. In addition there are worksheets for processing trauma and stress, managing frustration and anger, practicing radical acceptance, dealing with the worst-case scenario, dealing with change, prioritizing self-care.

I think that God gives us these tools, whether it is through medical awareness or the sciences to guide us in our life journey. Most times we do not have the tools handed to us but we need to find them through others and through their experience.

Once again, the introvert in me needs to recognize that God has called us into community. We need each other-whether that is to share information and resources, bear one another’s burdens or to give and/or receive help in our (collective) time of need. We are not alone even though we may feel alone at times.

The paradox of God is that we are both- alone yet part of a greater collective; similar in our humanity yet individually unique; weak yet stronger than we think; ordinary in our daily existence yet extraordinary to God- down to His knowledge of the very hairs on our head. After all, for anyone who has “created” something- you remember and care about every essence of that creation. So too, does God remember, care, know and love every essence of our being.

What about you? How has your mental health been this past year? Do you need to gather new tools for your life’s toolbox? What emotions have you experienced? Do they have a name? Have you ever said affirmations to yourself? What were (are) they?

The thing about the positive affirmations that I read at the mental hospital and that Mental Health America describes: They are the exact affirmations God is saying to His children every day.

Cultivating Patience

While I am not a big fan of spiders (especially indoors), I do not have arachnophobia. If a spider crosses my path I will enjoy watching it for a time. I am in awe of their construction and design skills. I am also awed by their tenacity to spin a web even when it gets torn apart or knocked down. Many times I have been working in the garden, felt and then inadvertently pulled apart a web that was built between two plants or between the shed roof and door. Of course the spider didn’t know that her web was built across a thoroughfare for my gardening. Yet, even when it has been continually knocked down by my passing, the spider will rebuild. Spiders are tenacious and incredibly patient. They will spin a web and wait until their prey gets stuck at which time they will wrap it with more webbing and will eventually eat it. I once watched a spider just hang out on her web for hours waiting for dinner.

I have been thinking about patience and tenacity. Two words that in my mind do not seem to go together yet they are synonyms. For some reason when I think of patience, I think of passivity, inactivity and submissiveness. With tenacity I think of strength, perseverance, and fierce determination. When in actuality, patience is a very strong word. It is another one of those paradoxical ideas: it takes a lot of strength and resolve to choose to be patient.

The other day an acquaintance asked us to give him a ride. We were to pick him up at his residence and drop him off a couple of towns away. It worked out in our schedule to do it and so we arrived at his place slightly earlier than expected. We called him, told him we were outside but since we were early for him to take his time and come out when ready.

When he finally got into our car and was ready to leave, he extolled our virtue of patience in our waiting for him.

Boy, that is one virtue that doesn’t readily come to mind when I think of myself! I find that I am fighting the impatient bug all the time.

But it did get me thinking- how does one cultivate patience?

There are at least 25 Bible verses about patience. Many of the versus describe patience as a characteristic of God and for anyone who is a friend and follower of God’s. It is the expression of relationships- love is characterized by patience. Patience is also a by-product and evidence of one who is filled with the Spirit and God’s love. The Bible in James says that trials produce patience. But can one learn patience without having to go through a hellish time?

Perhaps so. One of the learned outcomes of difficult experiences is that we realize that so much of life is beyond our control. We either cannot plan for every situation or even if we think we have planned for every situation, something will go amiss. We cannot control circumstances, people or weather. Sometimes we need to relinquish our control and accept what has unfolded before us.

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay which is many times what happens when we give up total control.

Our one son has always said, “No worries. It’s all good.” Now he might be just trying to tell us, his worrying parents to back off, but I think he does feel confident that all things will work out in whatever way they need to do so. I think he is very tolerate of delays and working through alternative plans.

I find that I can be patient when I have allowed margin in my life- whether that is actual physical time, emotional space or financial wiggle room. I don’t feel so agitated when I have to stop and rearrange my life, my thoughts or my money and so I can pause and be accepting if things are not going according to plan.

I also find that I am more patient when I remain grateful and humble of my own circumstances. When I recognize all the blessings that I have and what an honor it is to share with others: time, money, possessions. I can tolerate delay when I know that I have enough and there is no threat or rush that what I “have” will be taken away.

The word tenacity has roots in the old Latin- tenacious which means to hold fast. Hold fast to what is true, honorable, loving, generous, gracious, kind. Even hold fast to those things that require patience- submission to another’s wish, forbearing another’s burden, tolerating and accepting delays in our lives.

No wonder that God is love and love is patient. God = patient. When I hold fast to God, when I am tenacious in my living for God and emulating Him, I too can begin to learn patience in my life’s journey.

What about you? How patient are you? How did you cultivate it? By trial? By error? By emulating God? Are you tenacious? Do you give up easily? What determines how long you stick with something? Interest? Love for someone or something?

What are your thoughts about spiders and webs and patience and tenacity?

Fostering

Last Friday as I was getting breakfast I was listening to the radio.  They were playing the Friday StoryCorps segment.  It was dedicated to Father's Day and the idea that being a father is much more than biology.  The segment highlighted a couple who were foster parents.  They described how they felt after the first child they fostered had to be returned to his parent.  At first it was devastating to them. However, they learned something in the process.  One of the dads stated,  "I think in some ways, having to love someone and then give them up makes you less demanding of other people, just generally speaking. I think the other thing is being a foster parent made me want to be a foster parent even more. It’s hard to lose kids, that’s for sure. But I can do this, and I can help them." 

The idea of loving someone and having to give him/her up really resonated with me. Isn't that we are told?  "If you love something set it free.  If it comes back, it's yours.  If it doesn't, it never was."  That expression can be thought to describe fatalism: if the fates determine a relationship is to be, it will be.  Or, one can decided that relationships are all about free will.  A true relationship is one that allows the other freedom.  

In some ways, this dad seemed to imply that this ideology is only for the case of foster or "temporary" relationships.  But can it also be true for those whom we love and lose to physical death or emotional distance? Is it true that if we love them we should also be willing to give them up?  

I surmise that this dad recognizes that we have to enter into any relationship knowing that there is a risk involved.  It may be painful, it may even be devastating but it is so worth it. 

I liked his observation that the process of letting go helps us to be less demanding of people. I don't think that means that we are less involved or committed to our relationships rather we are more thoughtful. We know that there are risks to love and that we cannot hold any relationship too tightly.  We need to hold them as if we were holding a precious Faberge egg: each is beautiful and unique but also fragile and vulnerable to pressure. We have to cradle the egg carefully because even our own handling may cause it to break. Sometimes our own demands and expectations of a relationship can be crushing. When we are less demanding we intentionally provide cushion space in those relationships.  We can allow it to thrive. 

What about you?  How are your relationships?  Are you too demanding? Expecting too much than humanly possible from another?  How can you provide cushion space in your relationships?  Does that mean giving time, trust, or permission to others? Allowing them the space to be whom they need to be?  Is it allowing those we love to fail?  Or risking that we might lose them? 

In some sense we are all fostering relationships.  We are all foster parents. 

Sorrow and Love

Once again our church community is mourning the loss of a beloved member.  Once again a parent has lost a young adult child.  Once again we are coming to grips with sorrow and love.

It seems wrong that a child dies before his/her parents.  It is the wrong order of life and death. Unfortunately it is a place that we have visited a fair amount of times with dear friends and with extended family.  It is a place which begs me to scream and wail at God, how can you allow this to happen?

A couple of weekends ago was the family visitation and a memorial service.  It was beautiful: so peaceful, so compassionate, so life affirming.   There are not enough nor adequate words to describe the young man who died.  He was an original with a capital "O".  Someone who squeezed every ounce of life out of his twenty-eight years on earth. He was one of the most self-assured, comfortable-in-his-own-skin, approachable, lovable, accepting individuals.  He inspired people to be the best version of themselves because he inspired people to be the version that God sees.  

As with all deaths, I think we tend to focus on our own death- what could people say about me, would anyone come?- but we also think of our loved ones- what would I do without him, how can I go on without her?

In the particular case of this death it was so sudden. There was no disease, no accident, no indication that anything was amiss.  He was here living life and then he was not.  There wasn't time to have any bargaining with God as if we can ever bargain for lives.

As a mom I know that I would respond to God, Lord, take me instead.  I would most certainly be willing to give up my life for someone else.  But would I be willing to give up someone else? Am I willing to lose someone I love to death?   I don't know how much I would be willing to give up our boys or my husband if there ever was a choice.

Yet, that is what God did.  He gave up His son, sent Him to earth, allowed Him to be separated from His heavenly father for a time in order to have Him rescue all of us for all eternity.  Because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, there would never be separation from our Heavenly Father again.

And so God sometimes asks us to be willing and perhaps to actually, give up things, people and relationships in order to get us in a place where we may never be separated from Him or our loved ones again.  I think of how God asks us to be like Abraham and to be willing to sacrifice that which is the most meaningful to us (in his case, his son Isaac). God was more concerned with Abraham's obedience than the sacrifice. 

Do I trust God with all that I have, with all of my life and with all that I love?  Can I entrust my future to Him even if it might bring me temporary but great sorrow?  I pray that no one ever has to endure what our friends and loved ones have. But I also pray that I may come to a place that I can say, "thy will be done" whatever that might be. 

It is a place where sorrow and love flow mingled down.  It is a place that we visited over that weekend.  It is a place where through our tears we can still see the Glory of God through community, care and love of one another.  And it is a place, strangely enough of hope. 

One of my favorite hymns is "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross".   It came immediately to my mind when I first heard the news of the death. 

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.

The African Doctor

The other night my husband and I watched a movie, The African Doctor.   It is a 2016 French film about a newly graduated Congolese doctor who becomes the doctor for a small conservative village in France.  Seyolo Zantoko struggles with his family to integrate into a small rural village and ends up being considered as one of the most respected doctors in the area.  It is a heart-warming "true" story.

What I liked was the idea that community begins when Dr. Zantoko and some villagers take the risk to get to know one another.  In this case, the doctor joins the men in learning to play darts at the local pub.  

Makes me think about getting to know the strangers in my midst.  Do I take the risk in getting to know them?  Do I sacrifice time with those I already know in order to greet and meet those whom I don't?  Should I? 

I think there is a responsibility in community to take that risk; whether that is a group with which I am involved, my neighbors in community or in the larger world.  Of course there are times when we do need to "honker down home" and regroup with people who already know us.  We need the stability of established relationships to get through a patch of tough time. But to permanently settle into little isolated segments does nothing to promote understanding, connection and peace in the world.

I know that I have talked a lot about this topic on these blog postings.  But it seems every where I turn I see disconnect- people not only disagreeing but violently so.  Communities, cross the globe are closing in ranks and hiding behind a curtain of nationalism and isolationism.  

Yet, I also see glimmers of people reaching out to one another and in doing so are forming broader communities.  Perhaps it is due to a common enemy that is drawing dissimilar people together.  But I would hope that it is because love always trumps hate. Love takes risks. Love takes time.  Love is the only hope for society to continue.  

It makes my day better knowing that I have connected to someone- whether that is a smile, kind word or long chat.  Hopefully it is reciprocated-  that "someone's" day has improved too in knowing that there has been a connection.  It is looking for commonalities rather than differences.  In The African Doctor, it was the common cause of the children and their activities that finally cemented the relationship between the Zantoko family and the village.

What about you?  Do have any time this holiday weekend to connect to someone else?  A long distant relative or friend?  A stranger in the store?  Have you seen any movies  or read any books lately where these theme of connection have occurred?  What were the titles?  What spoke to you in these stories? Were there any truths to be gleaned? 

Instead of letting things happen around you, what steps can you take to keep the means of connection open? What activities can you find that might connect you with people you wouldn't normally associate? 

How would you respond if you were plunked down into a community where you didn't know anyone?  How would you connect?  Perhaps it is time that we all think of others in that way. 

Heaven Here On Earth

Yesterday I heard a heartwarming story about a former ESPN producer and two of her documentary subjects.  Lisa Fenn was sent to cover the story of two Ohio high school wrestlers. One boy was a double amputee due to a train accident and the other boy was blind due to Leber's Disease. When she first went to Cleveland to cover the boys' last high school career wrestling match, all Lisa knew about their story was what she had seen through a picture of Leroy being carried by Dartanyon.  She said she had never seen a picture like that before.  She did her story and what unfolded is truly a miracle of how community, friendship and love can change a world. 

Carry On:  Leroy Sutton and Dartanyon Crockett (picture from www.bostonglobe.com, June 30, 2016)

She was touched by what both boys had experienced in life and decided that she just couldn't walk away. Long after the cameras left, she remained in their lives helping them with college and future plans.  

In reading Lisa's story I am so touched.  It is a story that is so encouraging and up lifting. It is a story that demonstrates hope in a world that desperately needs it.  It is a story of how we can live in community and how we are called to care for one another.  It is a story that provides a brief glimpse into heaven here on earth.  

But it is more than a one-sided tale.  It is not all about Lisa and her help.  If it were all about Lisa and how she helped the boys it would be another story of a do-gooder getting involved with someone less fortunate.  Certainly there is an appropriate time for that kind of assistance.

But for true transformation in societies there needs to be true charity; a recognition that we are in this time and in this place for a reason. And that I am no better, no worse than the person next to me.  I can help that person and she can help me. True charity is a recognition of equals- you and I were formed in God's image. We share a connection. Once that connection is realized we can move on in the sharing of our lives, in the understanding of our differences and in our celebrating our similarities. 

 The boys benefited from financial aid certainly, but they also benefitted from the stability that Lisa's love provided.  They in turn gave Lisa a deeper understanding of resilience, determination, courage and loyalty. They all realized that we find our lives- experiencing joy, love and community when we lose our lives- giving away any preconceived ideas, fears and prejudices. 

It is a story of the bonds among the three of them and how they have forged a family. I find the story of the boys and their resilience in the face of unsurmountable odds- amazing.  What is it about their characters that they did not succumb to the pressures of their environment?   I find the story of Lisa amazing as well.  Prior to this story, she had produced many heartwarming human interest stories. Something in this story connected with her.  And she let herself be connected to it. She was open to take a risk and be stretched in ways that she never had been before.

What about you?  Have you ever had the opportunity to meet someone different than you?  Were you able to make a connection?   Do you recognize the similarities in the people you meet or just the differences?  Have you ever taken the risk in reaching out to someone who is different than you?  Have you ever taken the risk of responding to someone who reached out to you?  What is your community like?  Have you ever experienced a glimpse of heaven here on earth? 

Click here to see the ESPN video and read LIsa's story of why she stayed.

WE ARE All .... HERE

This past week I spent the day in New York with our one son. We had a fun day poking around in consignment shops, bookstores and areas in the city where we hadn't spent much time before. Walking down one of the streets there was a large sign affixed to a church wall.  It read "We are Orlando." 

The sign made me think of a story I had recently read about Master Sgt. Roddie Edmonds. Master Sgt. Edmonds was a non-commissioned officer in the US Army during WWII.   He and his men were in the Battle of the Bulge and were taken prisoners.  At one of the Stalags, the prisoners were told that the Jewish POWs were to fall out to be counted.  When the time came, all 1,275  prisoners stood together in formation.  As the highest ranking officer in the camp, Master Sgt. Edmonds was the one in front.  The commandant was furious. He came over to Edmonds and yelled at him, "You can't all be Jews."  Edmonds looked at him and said, "We are all Jews here."  The commandant took his gun, pointed at Edmonds' head and demanded that Edmonds tell him who were the Jews or he would shoot Edmonds.  Edmonds replied, "According to the Geneva Convention, we are only required to give our name, rank and serial number.  If you shoot me, you will have to shoot all of us and when we win this war, you will be tried for war crimes." (Read more about his story)

His son knew his father had a harrowing war experience but never knew the entire story.  It was only after his dad's death, going through old diaries that he started putting the pieces together. He discovered his dad's name referenced in a New York Times article about Richard Nixon trying to buy an apartment in New York after he had resigned and left office.  The article spoke of Lester Tanner, a lifelong Democrat who in hearing about Nixon's predicament, sold him his Manhattan townhouse.  Even though Mr. Tanner did not share Nixon's political beliefs, Tanner believed that a person should not be blackballed like that.  

Mr. Tanner had served in the Army with Master Sgt. Edmonds and had witnessed Edmonds' bravery. Because of it, Mr. Tanner said that he decided that for the rest of his life he would always do the right thing. 

In the wake of the horrible tragedies of Baton Rouge, Orlando, Nice, Dallas (the list seems to go on and on) I wonder if we can remember that we are all humans here. By the grace of God go all of us. At any one moment, a certain group can be singled out. Isn't that what those who are intent on doing harm want to do? Cull the group? Pick on the most vulnerable?  Force each other to turn on one another? 

We need to stand shoulder to shoulder against the forces of evil, prejudice, and hate.  We need to decide to do the right thing and not allow this divisiveness to wedge and split our society.  We need to be wiling to speak out when injustice occurs. We need to be willing to work together with those with whom we disagree. We need to be willing to listen to one another. We need to have the courage to say to those who are intent on harm, this is the wrong way to go about getting your point across. We need to have the mindset of Master Sgt, Edmonds that we are all one here. 

I have never been in a life or death situation where my beliefs have been called into question.  I pray that if I ever did I would do the right thing.  But every day I do have the choice whether I will treat the person who doesn't look, speak or think like I do, with respect, dignity and love. 

What about you?  What choices do you have to make? 

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing". ~Edmund Burke

Fear Factor

Have you felt a change in the air?  I don't mean the actual climate but a feeling of "something wicked this way comes."  It is a clawing pervasiveness like the Dementors from the Harry Potter books.  It is an atmosphere that sucks the life out everyone it touches.  It is the cold touch of fear.

It seems lately that everyone I meet is succumbing to fear.  It is one the underlying characteristics beneath our country's policies and political race.  It pervades the local politics and news.  It is in the comments of neighbors, friends and family.  It is paralyzing our common sense and decency.  

Just recently there was a local county jurisdiction that decreed its school children would not be allowed to have any classroom trips to Baltimore due to the riots from last April.  They are worried about the safety of the children and decided it would be best to avoid that potential by staying in their low crime homes.  To me that is unbelievable that seemingly rational adults can be so afraid of some very remote danger that they are denying the children access to historical and cultural events. 

The tragic irony is that this same county enclave just had an awful reality check: deranged and dangerous people are all around us, even in our idyllic settings.  Two days ago, there was a fatal shooting of two officers from the sheriff's department.  The officers were responding to a call about a suspicious gentleman sitting in a local eatery. According to witnesses, the officer asked the gentleman how his day was going and the gentleman responded with a shot to the officer's head.  Absolutely horrible.  Prior to this incident, this county sheriff's department had lost in the line of duty only five deputies, the first in 1899.  Three of those five happened in the last six years. 

Even though I do not agree with this county's isolation-protects-us-from-harm policy, I would never wish something like this to happen. Life is rough and tough. Humans can treat others terribly.  Yet I still believe that we, humans, can do better.  That we can turn the tide to this fearful climate.

Fear creates isolation.  Isolation creates lies and untruths.  Lies and untruths create hate.  Hate creates all types of deranged behavior.   

"Perfect love casts out all fear."  Can that ever be achieved?  What does that look like?  I think for a start it is loving our neighbors as ourselves. It is in knowing our neighbors and not isolating ourselves from community.  

 I think we need to take a reality check about our own lives.  To humbly realize that there by the grace of God go I.   It is only a thin thread that separates us from those who do that which we find abhorrent.  I think when we are open to our own potential then we are open to compassion and empathy towards others. 

I think as a community and as a nation we need to guard ourselves from this atmosphere of fear.  When we hear our neighbors, friends and family speak in fear to ask, what is their specific fear? To help them identify it and to ask if that is likely to happen? When we hear derogative or hateful comments to ask,  is it true? 

Sadly, some tragedies will happen.  My heart aches for those families.  Yet I would hope that if I were the one who suffered tragedy that I would, at some point,  not let fear and hatred take over my life.  That I would not succumb to the Dementor's kiss. For when we let fear take over we no longer are living life. 

What about you?  Have you noticed a change in the climate?  What, if anything, are you doing about it?