400 Hundred Years of Waiting

I have a confession to make: I am an extremely impatient person. When I get an idea, thought or project in my head, I am like a dog with a bone- holding on to that idea until I can do something with it. As a friend once said to me, “you don’t let grass grow under your feet.” Some of that “get it done” mentality was learned during my years nursing. In caring for others, if I thought of something to do and had the time, then I had do it because that time would not come around again. For me, once I have an idea I am ready to work on it and then finish that idea, thought or project in order to move on to something else.

Lately, the problem I am having is that I have had to wait on others, namely the workmen to complete their work, in order for me to begin my various home projects. But in waiting for others to do something, I really cannot have that impatient “just do it, darn it” mentality towards them or at least to expect them to have my similar mentality. I need to have a little more grace and patience.

And so I am finding myself trying to patiently wait. And that is really difficult. I find myself struggling each day to not massively complain. The disarray of our home continues and if possible, has become even more jumbled. Just when we thought we had some type of organizational “system”, some new problem has been discovered or items, like the kitchen cabinets will arrive and we have to push more things aside and on top of each other. In the words of the Christmas story, “there is no room in the inn.”

In the preparation and waiting time that is called Advent, I have been thinking about the Israelites and the waiting that they had to do over the many, many years. In fact, there is about four hundred years between the Old and New Testament when nothing is recorded. Four hundred years of silence and seemingly inaction from God. Talk about waiting!

You wonder-how did they handle the wait? Tell stories of the past? Plan out scenarios for the future? Massively complain? Where are You, God? How long are we to wait until we hear from you? How long before the Messiah comes?

God is the maker of sound and silence. As noted in Ecclesiastes (3:7): there is time to keep silent and a time to speak. In the past, God had spoken to His people through multiple prophets about returning back to communion with Him, yet the people remained stubborn in their own ways. It was now time to keep silent. Similarly, there are times when we can say only so much to our family, friends and loved ones. We may have cajoled, threatened, bargained or pleaded but eventually we just need to keep silent and let the consequences or things happen as they do.

All we can do during that interim waiting period is pray, hope and love.

I guess during my waiting time- which is by far NOT at all 400 years or at least I hope it won’t be!- I need to learn the lessons of patience. I am trying to be understanding when unforeseen things happen to either our workmen and their families. To pray for them and for their safety. To know when to be silent and when to speak.

It is good practice for me to hand over control of these uncontrollable situations. As I am learning more and more, we really have no control in life. The only thing we can control is how we handle the situations- our responses and attitudes. For me, I am struggling to handle my present situation through prayer, hope and love. I know that the more I practice these types of responses, the better I will be in handling future uncontrollable situations for myself and for family.

The thing is- the waiting time will end. For the Israelites, God did not remain silent. Nor does He remain silent to us. When Jesus was born, He fulfilled hundreds of years of prophecy. His birth, life, death and resurrection were all part of God’s rescue story for both His “people”- the Israelites, and also for us.

The beauty of Christmas is that is a yearly reminder, lest we have forgotten, that God IS with us- Emmanuel. The waiting time is over. God has spoken. We can look forward to the new life (and new projects) that God has in store for us. Merry Christmas.

Cultivating Patience

While I am not a big fan of spiders (especially indoors), I do not have arachnophobia. If a spider crosses my path I will enjoy watching it for a time. I am in awe of their construction and design skills. I am also awed by their tenacity to spin a web even when it gets torn apart or knocked down. Many times I have been working in the garden, felt and then inadvertently pulled apart a web that was built between two plants or between the shed roof and door. Of course the spider didn’t know that her web was built across a thoroughfare for my gardening. Yet, even when it has been continually knocked down by my passing, the spider will rebuild. Spiders are tenacious and incredibly patient. They will spin a web and wait until their prey gets stuck at which time they will wrap it with more webbing and will eventually eat it. I once watched a spider just hang out on her web for hours waiting for dinner.

I have been thinking about patience and tenacity. Two words that in my mind do not seem to go together yet they are synonyms. For some reason when I think of patience, I think of passivity, inactivity and submissiveness. With tenacity I think of strength, perseverance, and fierce determination. When in actuality, patience is a very strong word. It is another one of those paradoxical ideas: it takes a lot of strength and resolve to choose to be patient.

The other day an acquaintance asked us to give him a ride. We were to pick him up at his residence and drop him off a couple of towns away. It worked out in our schedule to do it and so we arrived at his place slightly earlier than expected. We called him, told him we were outside but since we were early for him to take his time and come out when ready.

When he finally got into our car and was ready to leave, he extolled our virtue of patience in our waiting for him.

Boy, that is one virtue that doesn’t readily come to mind when I think of myself! I find that I am fighting the impatient bug all the time.

But it did get me thinking- how does one cultivate patience?

There are at least 25 Bible verses about patience. Many of the versus describe patience as a characteristic of God and for anyone who is a friend and follower of God’s. It is the expression of relationships- love is characterized by patience. Patience is also a by-product and evidence of one who is filled with the Spirit and God’s love. The Bible in James says that trials produce patience. But can one learn patience without having to go through a hellish time?

Perhaps so. One of the learned outcomes of difficult experiences is that we realize that so much of life is beyond our control. We either cannot plan for every situation or even if we think we have planned for every situation, something will go amiss. We cannot control circumstances, people or weather. Sometimes we need to relinquish our control and accept what has unfolded before us.

Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay which is many times what happens when we give up total control.

Our one son has always said, “No worries. It’s all good.” Now he might be just trying to tell us, his worrying parents to back off, but I think he does feel confident that all things will work out in whatever way they need to do so. I think he is very tolerate of delays and working through alternative plans.

I find that I can be patient when I have allowed margin in my life- whether that is actual physical time, emotional space or financial wiggle room. I don’t feel so agitated when I have to stop and rearrange my life, my thoughts or my money and so I can pause and be accepting if things are not going according to plan.

I also find that I am more patient when I remain grateful and humble of my own circumstances. When I recognize all the blessings that I have and what an honor it is to share with others: time, money, possessions. I can tolerate delay when I know that I have enough and there is no threat or rush that what I “have” will be taken away.

The word tenacity has roots in the old Latin- tenacious which means to hold fast. Hold fast to what is true, honorable, loving, generous, gracious, kind. Even hold fast to those things that require patience- submission to another’s wish, forbearing another’s burden, tolerating and accepting delays in our lives.

No wonder that God is love and love is patient. God = patient. When I hold fast to God, when I am tenacious in my living for God and emulating Him, I too can begin to learn patience in my life’s journey.

What about you? How patient are you? How did you cultivate it? By trial? By error? By emulating God? Are you tenacious? Do you give up easily? What determines how long you stick with something? Interest? Love for someone or something?

What are your thoughts about spiders and webs and patience and tenacity?

Let It Be, Let It Bloom...

My hydrangeas are coming along this year.  Not as many blooms as last but still have some nonetheless.  I didn't think we would have any.  We had an unusual spring which caused a concern in our area that the hydrangeas were ruined.  We had had a cold snap after the bushes started leafing out and with the frigid temperatures, those early leaves turned brown and shriveled up.  On almost all of the branches the leaves didn't arrive and so the bushes looked a mess, just brown twigs sticking out of a few green and brown leaves.

Many of my neighbors were concerned and worried that their bushes were dead.  They were panicking to do something about it:  should we cut off the old twigs, pluck off the browned leaves, pull the bushes out?  

O ye (me)  of little faith.  My experience is that hydrangeas are quite hardy.  The bushes I have were all taken from cuttings of good New England stock.  At least that is what I initially said.  I should've left well enough alone and listened to my own advice.   

After hearing my neighbors talk and seeing how they had "cleaned up" their bushes, I panicked too.  I started looking at my bushes with the dead leaves and instead of seeing the growth process, I envisioned dead bushes.  I thought I had better clean up the plants by cutting back the twigs.  For a time being the bushes looked okay but now when they should be in bloom and all the others that I didn't touch are, I am upset with myself.  Why did I mess with them?    I succumbed to peer pressure and didn't go with my gut instinct. 

In some ways, no harm, no foul.  The bushes will come back in full bloom next year.  But they are a physical reminder to me that I shouldn't get so caught up with what others are doing and saying.   I need to trust my own instinct.  I also should remember that most of life is for the long haul, not the temporary and short-lived experiences.  So by cutting a little "dead" wood now and not allowing the branch to come back on its own and on its own time, I have missed out on a better bloom.  

What about you?  Have you ever succumbed to a trend or fad?  Have you ever listened and then done, what others were doing?  How did it work out?  Have you ever trusted your own instincts regardless of others?  Have you ever just let something be?