Walking our dog in the neighborhood in the aftermath of our blizzard, I came across the above situation: two neighbors with a shared driveway. Neither shoveled the “no man’s” land between them and so it became a snow barrier extending all the way into the street. Consequently, it made walking along the sidewalk quite difficult- When one came across the driveway, one had to traverse in the street around the snow wall. I thought, “Now really. Couldn’t they have cleared the way, at the very least, the portion that intersected the sidewalk so walkers don’t have to go into the street?”

Not getting along or agreeing to something. Isn’t that the beginning of feuds- family, neighbors, even countries.

It made me think of the quintessential American family feud- the Hatfields and McCoys. Or those fictional familial arguments: Montagues and Capulets or the Sharks vs the Jets. Arguments, that in retrospect caused much pain and even death. All totally unnecessary.

The thrust of the arguments for the Hatfields and McCoys has been lost to history. Some websites say that the impetus for the feud was over a stolen hog. Another claims it was due to “stolen” property and yet another to star-crossed lovers- one from each side of the family. It does appear that the earliest disagreement might have been due to the Civil War: the leader of the Hatfield clan, “Devil Anse” was a Confederate while the leader of the McCoy clan, Randle, had a Union soldier brother, named Asa. Asa came home to recuperate from being wounded in the war and during his recuperation, he was murdered. There was never any proof that the Hatfields were involved but it was rumored that they were. The bad blood continued for over twenty years. All about retribution- “eye for an eye”. When it finally “ended”, property was destroyed, Randle McCoy lost five children to death, his wife was seriously injured, many Hatfield supporters were dead and both sides of the families had individuals who were incarcerated. Much pain and death. Totally unnecessary.

There are times when I wonder about the current social climate. The polarization of people (and not just in our country) that seems to be getting worse. Those commentary pundit-type people whom I admire, who are in the thick of the current climate, and who have always seemed middle road and somewhat optimistic are voicing more discouragement about our future.

What to do?

It made me think of the arguments that we have with our family, friends, or neighbors. Some are petty. Some serious. All have consequences, and not just for the arguers. Just like the driveway snow wall, the disagreement of not shoveling caused those of us who were innocently walking our dogs to be put in harm’s way by having to walk in the street.

I have been more and more convinced and convicted that I need to pray for those with whom I disagree. For those who are my “enemy” and even for those whom I find completely repulsive. I need to remember that all people are created in the image of God. I also need to remember that I may be wrong about my understanding of a situation or of a person’s behavior.

In our Sunday Lenten series we are looking at the videos that coordinate with the book, Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren. The book’s premise is that our entire life- all the mundane, ordinary stuff of life is what defines our lives for Christ. As such, the practices and habits that we do each day, shape our thoughts and minds. In the section she calls, “brushing one’s teeth”, she discusses how our bodies were made to worship God and that care for our bodies is important. She also discusses how, if our bodies are made in God’s image and we are indwelled with the Holy Spirit, then human beings are the most sacred vessels on earth.

I must confess, there are some people that definitely are not sacred.

What about you? Do you know of any family feuds? Are they in your family? What started it? Does anyone remember? What would end it? How do you respond to people with whom you do not agree?

Jesus calls us to pray for our enemies. Pray for those who hurt you, who persecute you. The prayer is not so much to change the enemy, but to change our hearts and our outlook of that person and situation. Miracles do happen. Prayer changes things.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” Matthew 5: 44 (NKJV).