The Growth of Forgiveness

Last week I heard the story of Mary Johnson.  She is a remarkable woman who forgave the young man who shot her son.  In fact, she founded an organization, "From Death To Life" with the mother of the killer and she calls that young man, her spiritual son. 

I cannot even fathom what emotions she went through to get to this place of forgiveness much less to a place of reaching out to others.  But it gives me hope.

The part of the story that encourages me is that only after she went through the process of forgiveness and only after she had established her organization was she able to move on.   At one of her speaking engagements, she met a gentleman who had reluctantly attended her talk.  He had lost his son to murder as well.  They connected through the common ground of loss and forgiveness and developed a relationship.   

Who knows if Mary would have found Ed regardless of the circumstances in her life, but certainly his and her path converged after their individual tragedies.  Mary and Ed wed in 2015 and her spiritual son was a part of their wedding. What a story of redemption of loss.   

I love the stories of beauty coming from ashes.  It reminds me of the stories of the plants that grow and in some cases thrive in the aftermath of a forest fire.  Such are the pines of the northwest. Their cones are very thick and hard and do not release their seeds easily. It is only through the heat of the fire which melts the containing resin that allows the seeds to be released. It is then that new plants can grow. 

There are other plants, such as mules' ears and iris which store their energy in their bulbs and roots.  When the fire decimates the landscape, these plants thrive in the nutrients produced by the ash and are one of the first to bloom. 

These stories remind me that there can be redemption out of destruction. Certainly there is loss, no doubt about it, and it is significant.  But, we don't have to stay in the place of loss. We can find the beginnings of growth and a new future. 

What about you?  Are there things in your life that are preventing you from growing or blooming? Is it due to a devastating tragedy or extremely difficult situation?  Has it paralyzed you with bitterness?  Do all you see is destruction and loss? Can you see a glimmer of something good that might have arisen?  Is there any hope of forgiveness?   

A World Series Miracle

There is more than one miracle that is happening in the 2016 World Series.  There is a little known miracle of the singer who almost lost his voice. 

Wayne Messmer is a professional singer, motivational speaker, author, actor and business man. He almost exclusively sings the national anthem for the Chicago teams:  Cubs, Bulls, Blackhawks, Bears, Wolves.  

One night as he was in his car leaving from a gathering after a Blackhawks game a teenager approached his vehicle and shot him in the throat.  As he says many miracles happened that night.  One being that the tie went into the bullet hole so it in essence worked as a pressure dressing.  The tie? A "save the children" logo fund-raising one. 

The other miracle from this encounter was in his ability to forgive the young man who put him in deep peril, jeopardized his livelihood and caused much physical pain. Mr. Messmer visited the teenager while the teen was in prison. He wanted to let him know that he forgave him.  That action helped Mr. Messmer heal in so many ways. 

Mr. Messmer recovered from his injuries.  In less than seven months after the shooting, he was back on the stage singing the national anthem.  He has continued singing the anthem in the twenty plus intervening years. By his account he has sung the anthem over 5,000 times.  Possibly a record.

I just love the story of forgiveness and restoration.  At that moment that Mr. Messmer was shot, he encountered possible death and destruction.  He could've been completely devastated by his circumstances even with his voice recovery.  He could've harbored resentment, bitterness, or hatred.  But he choose to forgive and move on.  I do believe his choosing to forgive aided in his healing. 

What about you?  Do you have resentment or bitterness in your life?  Is it "justified", caused by another?  Can you make the conscious effort to forgive?  If you are not ready for a face to face encounter with that person, can you forgive him/her in your heart?  

Is that person, yourself? Have you done something that you think is unforgivable?  Was it done to another?   Can you approach that person and ask for forgiveness?  Can you forgive yourself? 

In some ways when Mr. Messmer approached that teen to tell him he forgave him, Mr. Messmer wasn't so much looking for a response from the teen.  It was more of something that Mr. Messmer needed to do for himself. 

What do you choose?  Destruction and devastation or forgiveness and a future? 

The thing about this year's World Series- which ever team wins, it will be a miracle.

Click here to read more about Mr. Messmer.

Moving Forward

Today on the radio there was a piece about NASA and their plans for colonizing Mars.  Very interesting.  Once again NASA is looking at a problem in a different way.  They are trying to answer the question "how to build habitable space in an hostile environment" similarly to building habitats  in remote areas on this planet.  

The part of the piece that caught my attention  was the personal story of Charles Bolden the first African American NASA administrator.  He grew up in segregated South Carolina and when he was in high school was having difficulty getting any appointment to any military academy. As he tells his story, he doesn't sound bitter but states the facts of the time- segregation and all it entailed with the white legislators from his state.   Through the help of President Lyndon Johnson he was able to secure a position at the Naval Academy and went on with a career as a Marine Corps aviator, then astronaut and finally NASA administrator. 

Even though Strom Thurmond did not help his state constituent in the initial position, Senator Thurmond did write personal congratulatory notes to Charles Bolden with every milestone Bolden achieved.  Charles Bolden sounded like he had forgiven Senator Thurmond and has moved on with his life.

He says he took this [congratulatory letters] to mean that people are capable of changing. "Even people who seem to be evil or seem to be bad, deep down inside they know what's right and they want to do it and they will try to find a way to make good things happen," Bolden said. 

What a great story of recognition of the complexities of people and the capability of forgiveness. Even reading this I was taken by surprise, for neither Strom Thurmond nor President Johnson are my favorite politicians.  Recognizing that of course they were life long politicians which means everything done is calculated for self benefit, yet I was surprised that they would make a point of helping and following a young man. Just goes to show how people will surprise you and do the right thing as Bolden states. 

Makes me wonder about the people I know and have known- those who I have either written off or those who I have tuned out because I don't like their beliefs or policies.  Perhaps I need to revisit the relationship- listen to them, hear their side of the story and make the effort to restore some type of communication, either through reconsidering their beliefs (as in the case of public figures) or in reaching out (as in the case of former friends and acquaintances).  Either way I need to settle the matter in my heart, not to be quick to judge and to be open to change and possibilities.  

I think one of the reasons Charles Bolden has become who he is and has accomplished what he has done (besides being incredibly intelligent and brave) is that he appears to be a person who goes about life with an open mind and heart.  He isn't weighed down by  past baggage but has the freedom to move forward.  It is not that he started a deep relationship with Senator Thurmond but that he, Charles Bolden didn't let any bitterness from the past shape his future. 

What about you?  Are there people in your life you may need to reconsider?  Are there people who seem to have "done you wrong"?   How can you keep an open mind for change and possibilities? For yourself and for the other person?  How can you lighten the load of your past so that you can have the freedom to embrace your future?