What is on your Christmas List? Did you ever write one when you were little? Do you still make them out? Or have you given up the practice?

I guess I wrote a Christmas list when I was little. With my love of lists I am sure that I must've. Funny that I can't remember any specific one.

I also cannot remember pleading and cajoling my parents for a specific toy or gift. I am sure that I did hound them. My parents probably had the annual holiday headache over hearing me talk about an item and in trying to acquire said item. Yet I cannot remember ever getting the "popular" sold out toy. I don't think that phenomenon was around when I was little. (I think that started with the Cabbage Patch Kids which was part of my nieces and nephews younger years.)

It just seems that the process of naming what we want and writing it down and the anticipation of receiving the gift almost seems greater than the actual item. We can have all those moments of pleasure thinking about the gift. It is the joy of delayed gratification.

Yet it seems that once the gift is given and received, we are not as interested in it anymore. Or at least it loses its charm and appeal. It is as if all our energy was spent on imaging the gift and now that the gift has arrived, we are spent- tired of the item before it has been used. In many cases, we cannot even remember what the fuss was all about.

I remember one year my son had a remote control motorcycle on his Christmas list. Or my father-in-law had heard some of his golf buddies talking about a remote control motorcycle that they were getting their grandchildren. Either way, my father-in-law moved heaven and earth (or at least all the Toys R Us stores in our metropolitan area) to purchase it. Our son enjoyed it very much. For the first couple of days. But after awhile, the difficult-to-acquire toy found its way to the bottom of the toy cabinet.

I am wondering about that experience as I ponder the next chapter in my life. I have thought for a long time the personal and career items I want to accomplish and achieve. I even have a list of material possessions that I would want: type of home, contents of home, location of said home, type of car, etc. But even those lists are like the fantastical lists that our childish selves write to Santa: totally unrealistic and impractical.

What do I really want?

I find that I have a hard time writing down what I want. Oh sure, I have those lists of my ideal items but what if that list was definitive? And that which was written on my list was what I would receive. No more. No less. Would I truly be content and happy with it? Would it be overwhelming or not enough? Would I be listing the right things for the current me as well as the future me? Would I grow weary with my requests even before I received them? If it all came to me at once, would I miss the excitement of the next year or stage of my life?

I guess I have come to the conclusion that, while I have lists of accomplishments and goals, my ultimate list would be deferred to the One who knows me better than myself: the One who created me and who loves me. Not that I am absolving myself of any responsibility of living my life. I just have come to the conclusion that I will trust God in directing my steps for my future plans. Certainly I have my part to do: to be as educated, healthy, curious, well rounded, and developed in my specific gifts and talents. But for choosing the best course of action, I choose to let "Thy Will Be done."

I think I will let my Christmas List be fulfilled by God and what He has in store for me.

What about you?