Gardening Perspectives
The garden last year.
This weekend was beautiful in the Mid-Atlantic. Hopefully it was just as nice in your neck of the woods.
Yesterday, I had a small window of opportunity to work outside in our gardens. I don't know why it is, but getting some dirt under my fingernails feels good to my soul. It appears our neighbors must feel the same way because they were out in full force, digging, planting, mowing and mulching.
We have some newly-moved-in neighbors to the south of us and had our first seasonal chat over the back fence about gardening plans and projects. As new owners of a home that has been neglected for over ten years it was interesting to hear their plans. Already in just an afternoon they had put in some serpentine shaped herbaceous beds lined with stones along the corners of the square back yard. I commented how much better the yard looked. "Oh thanks but we have a long way to go."
Later as I was working on my yard I thought about our little chat. When I glanced over I could see how much improved their yard was becoming over the way it was. Before there were weed infested spots with patches of hard dirt, overhanging dead limbs from balding evergreen trees and a space under the deck filled with rotting wood, half- decomposed dry leaves and rusted old gardening tools. Now they have a clean blank "canvas" under the deck, a lovely sitting area surrounding a fire pit and trimmed trees.
I know that when I am in the middle of a gardening project all I can see is the task at hand; elimination of weeds, division of out of control hostas, tidying up stone gardening paths, etc. It also seems to be the time when I notice other projects that I cannot get to; scraping and painting the exterior of our screened porch, sorting and eliminating gathered gardening material and never to completed projects e.g. reusing the wood from an arbor for part of a potting bench.
Yet if I am truly honest it is not a bad as I think. As much as I think that I have so much to do and things are not "finished", I have had neighbors and passers-by comment about our inviting back yard. For them they see the overall effect of shrubs, plants and sitting spaces. They don't see the weeds popping up between the patio stones.
I think that sometimes we need the perspective of looking at a situation from another's point of view. For instance we might feel that we are not handling a difficult situation well, yet someone else seeing what we are going through might notice our quiet strength. By looking at a situation through the lens of another, we might be able to be encouraged by his/her handling of a similar situation. In this world of "sandwich generation" I have seen how some of my friends have handled moving an elderly parent and I am able to glean encouragement and practical help from their experience.
Other times we are too close to a situation to have perspective. We need to give distance to the problem. I noticed that too yesterday as I was upstairs getting ready to come out to work on the yard. While there, I glanced down on the back yard from one of the upstairs windows. The gardens looked quite different from that view. As I looked down I thought, "I need to move the garden statue over a couple of feet behind the pond. If I move the crepe myrtle bush I can open up some space over there..." That birds-eye view helped me correct some issues that were bugging me but I couldn't quite figure out before.
What about you? Are you going through a situation that needs perspective? Can you step back and give yourself some distance to the problem? Can you talk to others (friend, family or neighbor) and find out what they think? Can you gain some gardening perspective?
Easter Ending
Do you read the end of the book first?
When I am in the middle of a good novel, I sometimes (ok. I admit it. almost always) will read the final pages. It doesn't spoil any surprise for me. I guess I do it so that I won't receive any unexpected surprises in my read. Looking back I think it stems from my childhood. I was enthralled with Louisa May Alcott's characters in Little Women, Little Men and Jo's Boys. As all young romantics I wanted Jo to marry Laurie. I had asked one of my older sisters if that was the case. In typical sibling fashion she didn't want to tell me and after much pestering she said yes. (You can see the scene- older, teenaged girl wanting to get rid of the pesky little squirt, so she is told what she wanted to hear.) Boy was I surprised and shocked when Laurie married Beth. *****
As a life long Christ follower I have experienced many Holy Weeks and Easters. Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday are somber and reflective days. Time to ponder and think about the sacrifice of Christ, what that means to our lives, how we live those lives and how we can commit to honor Him.
But I have trouble being that somber. For I know the rest of the story. Jesus is not buried in the tomb. There is no grave marker to visit. Jesus is ALIVE. He conquered death in order for those who believe in Him to live eternal lives with the Creator. To live as God intended us to live in the first place- choosing Him, living a life that honors him and eventually living a life of eternal praise and worship.
In this case, because I know the rest of the story it does impact the "story of my life": loving God and loving others. Certainly there are surprises along the way. Situations, experiences and people that change and shape the direction of the plot yet I know the final scene. It gives me great comfort and great assurance.
What about you? Do you read the back of the novel first? How does that impact your experience in reading the book?
If you don't know Christ, what do you need to make His acquaintance? If you knew that you were going to Heaven when you died, how would that change the way you currently live?
I would encourage you to visit a local church this Easter. Generally churches are pretty full on Easter so if you are shy about going, it would be easy to slip in and just experience the service.
Try it. Read the final pages first. Happy Easter this Sunday.
***** Correction: Pointed out by one of my faithful readers and dearest friend. Laurie married Amy (the spoiled youngest). Beth was the one who died from scarlet fever (I had thought it was consumption). Obviously my remembering skills are lacking!
God Winks
My dad used to be a winker. When a situation would happen, whether difficult or pleasant, he would look at you, his eyes would twinkle and he would give you a quick wink. It was a secret communication between him and the recipient. The wink said, "Do you see the humor or irony in this situation too? Or it was a quick wink of encouragement. It said, "You are special and I love you."
There are times in my life when just a little encouragement like that can make my day. It keeps me going. It keeps me focused on whatever the task may be. It keeps me grounded especially when the wink validates the ridiculousness of an overly dramatic situation
I think God gives winks like that.
I just read a passage about that in my daily reading. I love the story of Gideon the reluctant soldier and leader of Israel. (Judges 6,7) Gideon just needs some extra reassurance that he is on the right path. On many occasions before he does what God asks of him, Gideon will ask for a specific sign that could only come from God. And God gives it to him. It is almost as if God is winking at him, telling Gideon, "Trust me. I love you and I will be with you every step of the way."
But the part of the story that struck me the most comes mid way in Gideon's story. In Chapter 7 before Gideon starts asking for a sign, God tells him what that sign would be: "But if you are afraid to go down, go down to the camp with Purah you servant. And you shall hear what they say, and afterwards your hands shall be strengthened to go down against the camp." (Judges 7:10) That God wink, the encouragement to Gideon because God loved him and knew his nature, gave Gideon what he needed to do at the time.
A God wink. A sign of encouragement when needed the most.
There are times in my life when I receive the encouragement that I need to keep going. Little validations that say "You are on the right path. Don't let anyone discourage you. I love you and want the best for you."
Yesterday I experienced a whole lot of God winks with the kind responses and comments to my little meditation in Upper Room. I was so touched by people's words. I was so humbled that people would take the time to write. I was so encouraged by those who validated my writing.
God was using others and their words of encouragement to give me a wink.
What about you? Have you ever experienced a "God wink"? What did that look like?
Where do you need to be encouraged today? Be on the lookout for God winking at you- through others, through a situation or brief encounter. The thing about winks are that they are quick. Even so, they can change the whole trajectory of your story.
Same Moon
My view out the back porch this morning...
This morning I arose early with a feeling of excitement. Not quite the excitement as when I was little and I knew something special was going to happen that day, e.g. Christmas or traveling on vacation, but still that rumble of expectation in one's belly.
Today is the posting of my meditation "The Path of Mercy" online and the opportunity to see and respond to comments from the Upper Room readers. I was surprised to see that there were comments at such an early time of morning but then I remembered that this is a world wide publication and the day starts earlier for different parts of the world!
What really struck me was how similar our needs and thoughts are. I felt such a connectedness. Here are people around the world, living in homes different from mine, speaking different languages, eating different foods, looking different from me and yet we share the same love of God. We all are striving to be better Christ followers and many of our concerns are the same.
It makes me feel humble and proud at the same time,
Humble that the things that concern me and weigh on my heart are not nearly as heavy as what some people bear. My heart goes out to each one as I think about their situations.
Pride in that I am part of this great big beautiful world. How did we, mere humans, get to be so privileged that we can have a relationship with the Creator of this world and be entrusted to be its stewardship? Why are we so fortunate that we can have the choice if we want to serve God or not? God doesn't push us, coerce us or force us. He invites us. How amazing that we can join God by just responding to an invitation. In my smallness I recognize that I am part of the bigger picture.
How wonderful to know that my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are seeing the same moon that I saw this morning.
How cool is that?
What about you? Do you ever think about your place in this world? Do you feel connected to others? To God?
No Grudges
"Who? Me? Did you want something?"
What would our world be without our dogs? Less nuts, that's for sure.
Our Jack Russells, especially the male can drive us crazy! When he gets fixated on something, he completely ignores us. We know that it is due to our poor dog parenting but we can call his name numerous times demanding that he comes inside. No response. Eventually he will turn his head and look at us with a glance, "Oh, were you calling me?" Like there are a dozen Marley's from which to choose?
The thing is, when he finally comes in we are exhausted and enraged. How dare he not listen to us? Don't we provide him shelter, food and plenty of toys? He is a dog and we are his masters.
He is infuriating. Of course, by the time he skips upstairs after his non-listening foray (generally this occurs after going outside @ 4am, doing his business and then barking at nothing until I am thoroughly awake from calling him to come in), he is all ready to continue with his normal routine: leap onto our bed, stick his nose under the covers, sidle next to me, place his head in the crook of my arm and sigh. Acting like nothing was ever the matter. He isn't at all bothered by the tone of my voice as I yelled at him to come in. It doesn't bother him that I will kick him out of bed, possibly numerous times. He doesn't hold it against us. He will continue to try and snuggle.
Other times after we have yelled at him we have tried the tactic of completely ignoring him. Doesn't matter, he will still try to engage us with a game of ball or tug of war. He will forage in his toy bucket for just the right chew toy to entice us to play with him. His leaping, turning and rolling suggests that he is so happy to have someone with whom to play and you should be happy too.
Guess that is why I love dogs. They are so forgiving and loving. They do not hold a grudge. They continually remind me to enjoy the present: don't get hung up on the past and don't worry about the future. Nothing in life is ever too much to bear that a good chase of a ball won't cure.
What about you? Do you have any pets? Dogs? Cats? Hamsters? Fish? What have you learned from being around those creatures?
NOTE: On Wednesday, April 12th the Upper Room devotional will be running my devotional entitled, "The Path of Mercy". As readers, you can go online, Click Here and comment on the devotional. I was asked to provide a follow up so you can read that there as well.
Your Dad's Calling
Here we are at Harpers Ferry, WV last summer.
I guess I have been spending a lot of time with my elderly father. When our phone rings I am pretty accurate in guessing that my dad is the one calling. Or, if we have been away I just have a feeling that he rang and in checking the caller ID will see a missed call from him. (He very rarely leaves a message, just a hang up.)
With my mother's death and these passing months I have gotten to know more and more of my dad's habits. I seem to be connected to his troubles and to his joys.
My uncanny ability to know when my dad's calling made me think of my heavenly father. I was thinking that as a Christ-follower I need to be in tune to God like that: to know His voice, His habits and His calling. I should have and need to have an internal feeling of connection.
Certainly knowing my dad didn't happen overnight. Even in the first five decades of my life I wasn't that in tune to his lifestyle. But over the course of this last year I have had to be. That intentional knowing about him has given us a connection.
The same can be applied to our knowing of God. I can't expect to automatically know about God. I need to spend time with Him, to listen for His voice and anticipate His calling. I may not be able to see Him physically but I can get to know Him through Bible reading, prayer and being around others and hearing their stories. It has to be intentional.
There is a Bible verse that talks about the sheep (you and me) knowing the voice of the shepherd (God). Even though sheep can be pretty dumb, lambs do know their mammas' voices. A field of young and mothers will bleat out to each other until they find each other.
What about you? Have you ever had a connection with a loved one that you knew when they would call? Or have a premonition when they were upset or when they were happy? How is your connection with God? Do you know Him? Spend time with Him? What would that require of you? Are you intentional in your relationship?
Well, gotta go, my dad's calling.
Heartening Hyacinths
The other day I was taking a walk and a enticing scent wafted my way. Coming from a season of wintry smells, my memory quickly identified it as hyacinths. Every spring my scent memory gets awakened after a dormant winter. I looked around and didn't see any hyacinths nearby. It turned out they were peeking through in a small garden located a couple of homes away.
Amazing how flowers can send their scents out into the atmosphere. All in the sake for capturing pollinators. The amazing thing is how even the smallest of plants or undeveloped plant can still capture its essence. I had to trim our lilac bush and was amazed that the immature blossoms had a lilac scent.
It only takes a small amount and we can smell it.
Conversely, if any of you have ever inadvertently stepped in dog poop you know that it only takes a minuscule amount to stink.
Smells, good and bad linger.
It brought to mind how even the smallest comments can make a difference.
I think of how random comments from family, friends, teachers, co-workers or bosses become cemented in our brains. "You're too smart to be a nurse. We know you are not a writer, honey. With your size, you shouldn't wear ruffles. What do you know about gardening? Math is not your thing."
The comments might be off-the-cuff, unintentional yet they can linger for the rest of our lives. I think of those people who never attempt to try something new because years ago someone told them they couldn't. Or those who are forever struggling with identity and self worth due to someone's careless remark.
Conversely, I think of the small encouraging words people say. "You're the best suited for that job. That color looks great on you. What a great listener. You have a sterling character. He can handle the challenge."
Small, spontaneous quips that change our outlook. Like the wafting fragrance from springtime flowers, the comments lift our spirits, put a spring in our step and spread joy. It is sometimes those small comments that encourages a person to try something new or look at life in a different light.
It doesn't take any more effort to say nice things over harmful ones. One can equally let encouragement flow off one's tongue. Wouldn't it be more pleasant to be surrounded by an atmosphere of attractive scents rather than odiferous ones?
What about you? Have you ever experienced a cutting remark? Do you still remember it? Do you have an encouraging comment tucked into your soul? Did someone ever give you a compliment or make a casual remark that has changed your life? What can you say today that will encourage another person? How can you enhance the atmosphere with your pleasantries?
There are enough unpleasant smells in this world. Choose today to be part of the pleasantries. You just never know how far it will go.
Uncovering Idols
Have you ever appreciated something, enjoyed an experience or valued a person? Were you able to continue those feelings with that same level of involvement? Or over time, did you ever feel that which was good morphed into an obsession? Did that good thing become something that demanded your thoughts, your time, your loyalty or your resources?
The other day I was thinking of how good things can turn into bad when we lose perspective. I think sometimes we transfer our hopes and dreams onto an image, experience or person wanting that object to be the end all and be all. We are sadly disappointed because in the end, an object, an experience or a person are finite and flawed.
Rod of Asclepius. Used in Greek mythology as symbol of healing.
I was reading the story in the Old Testament of the Israelites and their on again, off again relationship with God. In the book of Numbers (21:1-9), the people of Israel were complaining that their rescue from Egypt into the desert had them fearing that they would die. They spoke against God and Moses not believing that God would provide. Those who were disobedient were bitten by snakes and many died. In their repentance they asked to be relieved of these fiery serpents. God commanded Moses to make a serpent and set it on a pole. Anyone who was bitten by a serpent and looked at the staff would be healed. It was a good thing and had a specific purpose. Unfortunately over time the Israelites forgot the main purpose of the staff and the staff became an object of worship. Many years later, King Hezekiah (2 Kings 18: 4) had to remove and destroy the staff. That which was good became an idol.
Whether one is religious or not, I think that anything that loses perspective and purpose is susceptible to being idolized: the seemingly innocent relationships that turn into stalking, the goal of providing for one's family which becomes a workaholic nightmare, the stewardship of possessions that overrides relationships, the....(fill in the blank).
Have you ever had something that originally was good turn into a problem or detriment? Are there things in your life that you feel are out of control? Is it caused by obsession, worry, or fear? Would you say that you are idolizing that which is causing that obsession, worry or fear? Have you become so worried about its possession that you are now possessed by it? Do you fear that your relationship might end, so you cling to the other person even if it is unhealthy?
What would it take to step back and gain some perspective? Does the item, situation, or relationship need to be "destroyed" in order to gain that perspective?
I think in the story of the Israelites, if they had remembered their purpose that they were God's chosen people and that God wanted a relationship with them, they might not have turned a healing tool into a god. If I remember that my material possessions are just things, it is easier to accept if they get broken or lost. It is easier to share those possessions with others. If I remember that my loved ones- both family and friends- are flawed and broken, just as I am flawed and broken then I can related to them in a healthy way. If I am grateful for the gifts and talents I possess then I will be humble in my use of them.
If I keep my eyes on God and my heart close to His then I will not be susceptible to idols.
Stretched
"Momma said there would be days like this...."
I am stretched. I am sure that you know the feeling; being pulled in one direction and another, trying to meet this need or that demand, having to do so much in so little time.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have found myself stretched almost too thin.
So on Monday as I was attempting to run, the image of stretching came to mind. As I have shared before, I am not a runner, nor do I particularly like the process of running. However, I do like the benefits of running. I have more stamina in tennis (which is the only type of running I like- going after the ball) and I like the feel of my muscles getting tauter and toned. Even two days after my run/walk I can feel my tightened thigh muscles. It makes me feel that I have used them.
But in order to protect myself from injury, I need to properly stretch. If I don't, any movement or carrying that I do, can cause major injury. If I absolutely had to, I might be able to run 5 miles without stretching, but come the next day, I wouldn't be able to walk. It is those times that I am reminded of the preparation needed. I need to gently pull and lengthen my muscles so that they can handle new strains through running or lifting. Stretching gives me flexibility and pliability.
Sometimes life causes us to have to quickly move in our attitudes, our plans or even our physical lifestyle. We may be traveling through life, minding our own business and quite content with how we live our lives. But something may occur that calls us to reevaluate our situation, our beliefs, or our dreams. Some thing or things happen and we are stretched.
It is those moments that are the sudden sprints in our lives. We are forced to move. We may be called to situations for which we are totally unprepared and have no resources. We get caught between one onslaught of bad news to another. We feel like everyone has a piece of us. We are being pulled like Stretch Armstrong.
The thing is, life is all about moving. It is inevitable. I need to be emotionally and mentally prepared to move just like I need to stretch before a run. I have to keep my attitude pliable and my viewpoint flexible. I cannot remain rigid but be open to new possibilities and changes in life circumstances.
I have found that gratitude goes a long way in preparing my stretched mental muscles. I practice what I call mental muscle memory: I reframe the problem/annoyance/disappointment into an opportunity. I remember my blessings. I remind myself how God provided in past times. His past provision helps me handle the future better. After all, at one time, the past was the future and it worked out.
What about you? How flexible are you? Are you pliable? Do you absolutely refuse to go along with a new situation? Do you fight for the status quo? What do you do to remain supple? Are you stretched or stretchable?
Because of this stretching time of my life (getting my dad settled into his new residence, etc.) please bear with me as I may not be as consistent with my M,W,F posts. Sign up to receive the newest posting on the subscribe box below.
Scent of Spring
The two sachets I made came from a gift bag I had and some left over material. I had some dried lavender stalks left over so I made a bouquet to enjoy.
The calendar might say it is officially spring but around the mid-Atlantic we don't quite feel it yet. It is still in the stage that the sun seems much warmer when viewed from inside.
I have been clearing out my closet and paring things down. Last year I wrote about trying to re-do my large, weirdly shaped closet. That ways round 1 with getting rid of things. This week has been round 2.
I used to store my off season clothes with moth balls. I am one of those people who rather like the smell of them (reminds me of my grandmother). But then I also like the smell of gasoline and the old ditto/mimeograph paper.
Recently I have been using lavender sachets which I have made myself. It is quite easy. All you need is a bunch of dried lavender, a porous cloth container, wax paper and some ribbon.
Dried Lavender Sachets: Ingredients: dried lavender, gauzy cloth or fabric gift bags, wax paper, ribbon.
1. Place a piece of paper or wax paper on your work surface. Use it to collect the dried lavender as you strip from the lavender stalk. Or you can hold a bunch upside down and rub between your hands I tend to swipe down the stalk removing the dried lavender that way, although be careful of splinters. Let the pods fall onto the paper.
2. Prep your sachet. You can use the gauze type small gift bags (find at dollar store) or make your own. I had some left over gauze fabric from another project. Cut a circle as large as you want the sachet to be. (6-7 inches in diameter)
3. Fold the wax paper in half and funnel the dried lavender onto the center of the circle or into your gauze gift bag. Collect the various sides into a small ball.
4. Pull taut the opening of the gift bag and tie the strings into a bow. If using your own material, gather the various sides to form a small ball. Tie a bow around opening. Try to re-loop so you can hand the sachet on hangers if need be.
5. I have used the left over stalks as kindling for either our inside or outside fireplace. Burns quickly and smells good too.
I also read about making a safe, good for the environment cleaning solution using water, distilled white vinegar and lavender oils. Lavender and vinegar have natural antiseptic properties but adding the lavender makes the solution smell quite nice.
Lavender Cleaning Solution: Ingredients: distilled white vinegar, tap water, lavender essential oil, spray bottle.
1. 1 cup Distilled White Vinegar, 1 cup regular tap water, 40 drops of lavender essential oil, spray bottle.
2. Mix the liquid ingredients in a pitcher or bowl. Pour into your spray bottle.
3. Use the cleaning disinfectant anywhere on any surface you would use a multipurpose cleanser.
Do you use natural or homemade cleaning products? What are they? What other smells remind you of spring and warmer weather?
What's Your Confidence Level?
Confidence: the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust; the state of feeling certain about the truth of something; a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
What's your confidence level? Do you feel inadequate with your work, your looks, your life? What if someone you admired said that he liked your style? Or she thought you looked great? He thought you were wonderful?
Would you believe her? Would you think he was just telling you tales in order to get something from you?
There are times when I am just frustrated by myself. I feel discouraged. I lack any confidence. I feel that everyone else is more successful, more attractive, demonstrates better interpersonal skills, communicates better, funnier, etc. ,… (fill in the blank).
I look at those who have confidence or at least exude confidence whether they feel it or not. Whatever they do, others follow or are in awe of their accomplishments, decisions, actions, even clothing. How does that happen? If you take the components apart, they are not that interesting nor their decisions that great but it is almost as if their persona is more important than the substance. They have an aura of self assurance.
When I feel low, if that confident person gave me their “seal of approval”, I would be floating on cloud nine. I would walk around with my head up high, internally knowing that so and so thought I was something.
The thing is, as a Christ follower and child of God, I can have that confidence. I can have the assurance of the truth that God, the ultimate confident creator of all things and of me, thinks I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He intimately knows me and all that I am- my faults, my failures, and my fears. Yet He still loves me and sees my potential, the being that He created me to be.
If only I would remember that. I would walk with confidence.
Now confidence does not mean arrogance. I am sure that you can recall plenty of overly confident people who seemed down right arrogant. Arrogance is really a disguise for lack of confidence and is a coverup of feelings of inadequacy. The arrogant person is being deceitful- If I come across as knowing everything then you might not be able to see that is not the reality.
I do not need to be arrogant because just as I am fearfully and wonderfully made, so are you. That is the beauty of God. We are all on the same level. No one is more important than another. He loves and made each one of us on a similar plane. When I feel loved by God I can relax and carry on with what I am supposed to do. I don't need to play the comparison game, that "so and so is better at...(fill in the blank) than I."
What about you? How is your confidence level? Do you struggle with low self-esteem? Do you play the comparison game with others? Do you feel self-assured? Do you believe that God loves you, just as you are?
When I start feeling that my confidence level is dropping, I need to remember the truth that I can rely on God and His love for me. When I know that I have His seal of approval, all doubts, fears and comparisons can fall away. I can be one of those people who elude true confidence because my confidence isn't through me and my accomplishments but in the One who made me.
Learn Anything Lately?
My poor daffodils hanging on during the cold weather.
What did you learn in 2016? Life lessons, an academic subject, a life skill? What knowledge, information or skill are you currently pursuing?
This is the time of year when I think we all could use a boost both physically and mentally. Here in the mid-Atlantic all of our blooming daffodils and cherry trees are under a blanket of snow and ice. The winds have been fierce and the temperature cold. After a relatively mild winter it is hard to believe that now we are getting an arctic blast three days before the arrival of spring.
I am ready to shake off the snow, ice and winter debris and get ready for new growth.
I am ready to learn something new.
I am ready to physically and mentally move- to get my sluggish winter body out and about as well as firing up my hibernating brain cells.
The thing about learning is that it is never too late. I know a woman who started taking piano lessons in her nineties. She had always wanted to do so and never had the opportunity. So, her family purchased a keyboard for her to use in her retirement apartment and a piano teacher comes and gives her lessons every Saturday.
There is a wonderful book, Educating Alice: Adventures of a Curious Woman by the late Alice Steinbach. Ms. Steinbach traveled to various places in the world taking lessons and courses on specific topics: French cooking in Paris, Border Collie training in Scotland, Japanese arts in Kyoto to name a few. Most of us will never have the resources nor the time as Ms. Steinbach did but we can be inspired by her openness and curiosity.
What about you? What is something you have always wanted to learn? Piano lessons? Art classes? Fixing a complicated meal? Maybe a trip to Paris is not in the cards right now, but could you try fixing a French meal a la Julia Child?
My husband and I are planning to attend a class at the CSA farm where we purchase our meat. They will be demonstrating how to cut up a whole chicken. We get whole roasters through them but have never done anything with the chickens except, well, roast them whole. I have looked at various cook books on the cutting up of a chicken but I need the hands-on visual instruction.
I am looking forward to it.
Doesn't matter what the subject or activity might be, once we experience and learn something new, we have shifted our brain and muscle usage. The adage, use it or lose it, applies to both our brain neurons and our muscle cells. When we challenge ourselves with having to use our brain in new experiences, we improve our brain neurons and increase the synapses which send and receive information. Our physical challenges increase our muscle fibers which in turn produce stronger and leaner muscles as well as improvement in all the cardiac, immunity, endocrinological aspects of exercise.
Learning enhances our confidence, our mood, and our outlook on life. It improves our day.
It is the spring that is awaiting to be released.
Double Vision
As I was getting ready the other day, I was inserting my contacts into my eyes. Normally I have a routine- right eye first, followed by the left eye. To help me remember the specific lens, I store the contacts in a container that has an "r" on the green cap for the right contact and a blank white cap for the left one.
So that morning I dutifully put in my right contact and then the left contact. A little while later as I was preparing to brush my teeth I looked down into the sink and saw a contact there. The question became which eye is missing a contact? I couldn't tell by looking at the contact nor could I tell by my vision. I peered intently into the mirror to see if I could see the circular edge a contact over my reflected iris. Nope. I squeezed one eye shut and then the other to see if my poor eyesight might give me a clue as to which was missing correction. No help there.
So I put the contact into the left eye. I repeated the squeezing of one eye then the next technique to see if my eyesight improved. It did not. But my eyesight wasn't that bad either. It seemed as if I were seeing things okay. Yet the more I thought about my eyes I thought, perhaps it was my right one that fell out? So I proceeded to take the contact out of my left eye and discovered that I had put both contacts in the same eye! And I didn't even notice that much difference in my sight! Gee whiz, talk about panic and stupidity.
Well, eventually I figured it out and so far seem to be seeing okay.
But it had me thinking. In this instance, I know the cause of my contact swap. I had trouble with my contacts because I was extremely tired. I had had only a couple of hours sleep that night after a proceeding twenty-hour day. My eyes were not wanting to open much less have a contact in them. I couldn't see well but I also couldn't tell that I couldn't see well. I couldn't even tell that there was any difference in my vision.
I wonder how much of what the world perceives is due to the simple fact that we are tired. Added to that, are we even aware that our perception has been compromised?
We all can tell stories on ourselves when we hadn't had enough sleep and things that we normally wouldn't do or things that normally wouldn't bother us, become our mode of action and thinking. We are more touchy, more sensitive (not in a good way), more volatile, more angry, or more depressed. We experience a whole host of negative emotions all because we didn't get enough sleep. In addition we can also go down the rabbit hole of a host of physical ailments due to lack of sleep.
How many relationships have suffered due to lack of sleep? How many misunderstandings? How many times we wonder, how did this lost relationship happen? I didn't do anything we tell ourselves. We become myopic to our own contribution because our physical tiredness distorts the reality.
What about you? How is your sleeping? Do you get enough each night to stay refreshed? Have you ever done something silly due to being tired? If you are experiencing difficulties- e.g. trouble getting along with others, irritable, forgetting things, repeating yourself, upset stomach and intestines, overeating, not eating- perhaps it is time to stop and assess your sleeping habits.
If not, you might find yourself with double vision.
Dog Walking
You want me to do what? Walk outside when there could be loud noises?
Our male Jack Russell has become increasingly stubborn about his evening dog walk. Usually he is always ready for movement, whether that is a game of ball, a tussle with a chew animal or a walk outside. But lately he will hide when the leash comes out. We wonder what is up? Is he having PTSD?
Backstory: Both our dogs have always been calm when faced with loud noises, e.g. sirens, truck air brakes, fireworks. We were so surprised because our former Jack Russell would have none of the loud noises. He would bark loudly and ferociously at them. Was he telling them to be quiet or just didn't like the competition?
A couple of years ago while on vacation we were walking our dogs along the beach. It was evening time and we were walking along a service road that ended at a dismantled light house. Out of nowhere fireworks exploded overhead. Turned out, we were at the non-sanctioned town firework display gathering. Our female dog took the noise and lights all in stride. Our male, flattened his ears and pointed towards home. It wasn't as if any of the fireworks fell on him as they were exploding a bit from where we were walking. Nonetheless, ever since that time, any noise that sounds like a firework, explosion or even a car door slamming gets him all in a tizzy.
He needs his evening walk. We know that it is good for his digestion, for his weight and overall health. Yet, we cannot reason with him. He has to walk out of obedience to us.
Makes me think of how I am so much like our pooch in my treatment of God. There are things that He wants me to do. Things that are for my benefit and good health yet I refuse to do them. Truth be told, most times I am afraid to listen. Afraid that listening requires me to give up my plans and my control of my life. Afraid of being asked to do something that I cannot or do not want to do. Afraid that perhaps God, my creator, might not know what is best for me. Crazy.
I am sure that God wishes I would just listen. Although I am sure He isn't as frustrated as we get with our dog. I need to just do what is best for myself and get on with it. Yet I balk like my dog.
The thing is, our dog has never been hurt or maimed by the noises. We have never let any harm come to him on the walk or otherwise. We only want the best for him and act accordingly.
I know that God does the same. I just have to believe it.
What about you? Do you ever notice your behavior or lack thereof? What makes you balk when God asks you to do something? Are you afraid? Has He ever not had your best interest in mind?
Family Features
Lately I seem to be surrounded by baby announcements. Family and friends are all having children and grandchildren. I love to see pictures because I am always fascinated by hereditary features of babies and their parents.
"She has her mother's nose." "He has grandpa's chin." "Don't her eyes look like Aunt Sally's?"
I remember the first day we were home after our older son's birth as I was holding him, he smiled. "Wow, he's got my dimples." It just tickled me so. It was one of those moments that I treasure in my heart.
We have had life long friends on seeing our older son walk into a room, "You can tell who is his daddy- he looks just like his dad at that age." When our younger son was little, I remember a mother of one of his school mates came up to me, "Oh you must be his mom. He looks just like you."
Of course, we see the resemblances that we want to see. The same people who said our son looks like his dad, will, in another context, say that same son looks like me.
Not only physical features but our behavior and character can also resemble family members. Somethings we cherish and others, not so much. How many of us find a word or phrase that seems to slip from our lips and we groan inside, "Oh no, I sound just like my mother (or father)". I have already apologized profusely to our sons for behavior that I witnessed with my own parents and I am sure I will exhibit as I age. Some things I can change but others I am afraid it is inevitable.
It has gotten me to think about whom do I resemble? Maybe more importantly, after whom should I model myself?
For me as a Christ follower, I do want to model myself after Christ. The question might start with "what would Jesus do?" but I think the next question I try to ask is "what would Jesus think?". How can I become more and more like Christ and less and less like my frail human self? It is not that I want to think of myself more highly than I ought or that "I am so Christ-like". Far from that. Because we all fall short of that goal.
Rather I want to be more like the person God intends me to be. To be shaped by my experiences into a person more and more like Jesus. I am reminded of an old song from Amy Grant. Click here to hear her singing.
"Father's Eyes"
I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world
But that's all right as long as I can have one wish I pray
When people look inside my life, I want to hear them say
[Chorus:]
She's got her Father's eyes, her Father's eyes
Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help just can't be found
Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain
Knowin' what you're going through, and feeling it the same
Just like my Father's eyes
My Father's eyes
My Father's eyes
Just like my Father's eyes
And on that day when we will pay for all the deeds we have done
Good and bad they'll all be had to see by everyone
And when you're called to stand and tell just what you saw in me
More than anything I know, I want your words to be
[Chorus]
What about you? Whom do you resemble?
If You Have the Time.... Do It
I know that I have written about time management in many posts. But it seems to be a topic that all of us need reminding. Or rather, a reminder for me. As is typical of life, situations have occurred which underscore the adage, "practice what you preach"!
When I first started in my nursing career, I learned pretty quickly that if there was time to do something "extra" in my duties, e.g. straightening up a patient's room where medical supplies were kept, then do it right then. If not, some crisis or urgent matter would soon occur and that opportunity would be lost.
In my home life I have had similar situations. If there is time and opportunity to work on a home project, I need to do it. If not, then it seems as if I will never get back to it. One day I had some time to work on a simple fixing of a kitchen screen. (Remove the molding around the wood, pull the screen a little tighter., staple in place,reattach the molding and touch up paint on the molding strip.) Not a big deal. I just didn't feel like doing that project then. No apparent reason. I had all the materials and tools I needed. I had the time and I knew what to do. I just didn't do it. That was three years ago.
I have done it with relationships. Times when all I needed to do was to send a card, an email or a quick phone call. And I didn't do it. I just didn't feel like it. The opportunity of building or cementing a relationship was lost and it is difficult to capture that time again.
It has happened with my work schedule. In this new endeavor of writing my time is spent differently than my previous 9-5 job. I still have a schedule for writing and gathering information and research, but there is some internal and external flexibility. However, just when I think I have some "extra" time it is quickly taken by urgent demands of family.
I think of all the time I have wasted. Sure, I do not think time with others in relationship is wasted but I have wasted it in other ways- "research" on internet, youtube videos, etc.
I could've been using my time more wisely and judiciously.
Past history that it is, I should've realized that I always get pulled into situations that will take me from what I am currently doing and I need to be prepared for that.
I would've been prepared for the distractions if I would've done what I intended at the time when it occurred.
Just like I am kicking myself for not saving more money (see post Finances 101- February 22, 2017) I am kicking myself for not using my time more wisely, for not doing what I intended to do and getting waylaid with frivolous, non-productive work.
What about you? Do you ever feel that you have missed opportunities? Times when you could've, should've, would've done things but you didn't? And now, you can't go back? What have you learned? Acceptance of things not done? Guilt over those things hanging over your head? Plans to change that behavior?
I need to (re)learn- if there is time to do something...do it.
Enjoy the Ride
"How long did it take you?"
In my extended family that is usually the first question one will be asked when completing a long journey. The next question will be, "how was the trip?" but that question is generally a polite after thought.
The first question is the important one to the asker- it is all about timing. Really it is a question of arriving at one's destination quickly and "ahead" of others. There is an unspoken and unrealistic universal competition that one's car needs to arrive at one's destination faster than anyone has done before or humanly possible without getting massive speeding tickets. The other unspoken "truth" is that you must be a fantastic driver to go so fast without detection.
It. drives. me. crazy.
When our immediate family goes on a trip, regardless of the destination we can just count on it taking all day. It is not that we poke along. We drive slightly over the speed limit. We don't make too many stops but certainly we are not going to make ourselves uncomfortable. With our former car, I was convinced that we must've had a wonky speedometer.
If truth be told, I am crazed by the asking because deep down I am frustrated that we didn't "win" the arrival competition. After five hours in the car I am ready to arrive at our destination. Most of the time we are just halfway there. Ugh.
I thought of this last week when I drove down to our son's college to pick him up for spring break. By the speeds at which my fellow travelers passed me, I would surmise that they too will be answering a how long did it take you evaluation at their destination. But what about enjoying the ride? What about the journey is part of the experience? Will I reach my destination less stressed and more refreshed if I am not anxious about overtaking any driver blocking my lane?
I struggle with the getting there fast and the enjoying the ride ideology.
It does translate to our lives. Sometimes we are so anxious to get to the destination that we ignore the time it takes to get there. We miss out on the people along the way, the good and bad experiences or the detours. I think of the times in my life when I had to have a slow down detour. Looking back I see that I eventually got to my destination but just not in my time frame. That detour allowed me to make new friends, deepen current relationship, or see and experience things that I never would've chosen nor done. At the time those detours were just plain inconvenient and uncomfortable. But I see now that they were necessary to shape me into the person I have become- to shape me into appreciating the destination when I finally arrived.
I just need to remember that. I sometimes just want to get to the end whatever that end might be: finish a project, learn and move on from a difficult situation, have someone heal and feel better, wrap things up in a "neat little bow". The thing is, life very rarely works out that way. Especially dealing with people, you can very rarely say, "That crisis or experience is over. No problems now." There will always be something and it is okay.
Just like our family has come to the conclusion that the road trip is part of the whole experience, I need to remember that one's trip through life is the experience. I can't rush it along and I need to embrace every bump in the road. When I accept that our road trips will take all day, I relax into the time. I don't arrive at the destination frazzled. And that is how I want to live my life- with enjoyment of the whole trip.
What about you? Are you a got-to-get-there-at-all costs kind of driver? Do you meander down the rode, stopping at whatever attraction beckons you? What about your journey in life? Do detours and bumps in the road distract you or cause anxiety? What can you do to appreciate your journey?
Do you enjoy the ride?
What is Your Introduction?
Recently I was attending a lecture where the introduction to the speaker was phenomenal. The list went on and on. He had accomplished much and was involved with much. The things that he had done were recognized through a litany of organizations or multiple degrees. Immediately I thought, "Gosh, if they introduced me it would be quite short."
It seems as if we are impressed with those long litanies. But I also thought of those people who might not have the fancy degrees or the involvement with the "right" organizations. What about those whose degree is through the school of hard knocks or who are the unsung heroes of their families? Those who respond to a multitude of simultaneous crises with superhuman endurance and humility. How do you introduce someone who is volunteer extraordinaire but with many organizations? Someone who works a little with everyone who asks, yet never completes the thousands of hours in one position for a grand citizen award. How do you introduce someone who is practical, has great common sense, looks out for other's best interest or who is the best listener?
How do you introduce all the truly extra-ordinary, ordinary people?
It made me think of my life and accomplishments or lack thereof. Do I just need to market myself better? Or do I need to just accept that in the world's eyes I have not done anything special or at least anything that can be quantified or labelled?
How do I treat others? Do I expect them to be introduced with a series of recognizable accomplishments? Does my reaction and treatment of others depend on how they fit into a specific category? Am I impressed with awards and accomplishments?
Certainly it is good to be recognized for a job well done. We all crave that. And it is good to strive and attain something whether that is a degree, reward or a recognized accomplishment.
But I realize that I shouldn't be overly awed by those things either. Character and integrity of the person matters more. As much as God wants us to live in accordance with His rules and guidance for our lives, it is our hearts and our character that matter the most to Him. We should view ourselves and others in that light as well.
Underlying the question, how would you be introduced, the question becomes, how is your character? Would others say that you are a true friend, a confidant, of high integrity, reliable and trustworthy?
Do you accept yourself for what you have done and not done? If not, do you have time to “do something”? Are there degrees or accomplishments that you want to do? What is holding you back?
How do you treat others? Does an "impressive" introduction awe you? Or do you wait and see how the person acts? What characteristics would you want yourself and others to portray to be extraordinary ordinary folks?
What is your introduction?
Ash Wednesday
In the Christian tradition, Ash Wednesday starts the beginning of forty days before Easter (not counting Sundays). It is a time of remembrance and repentance; self-denial, moderation, fasting, and the forsaking of sinful activities and habits. It is during this time we are called to remember our sin and prepare for the coming Christ. The ashes (burnt ashes from the previous year's palms from Palm Sunday) are placed on the forehead, "Remember you are dust and to dust shall you return." in the sign of a cross. (Reminder of the redeemed future with God through Christ.)
I’ve always liked the time divisions in the Christian calendar. Whether you are a Christian or not, there is something manageable about the forty days. It is enough time to accomplish something but short enough time to offer variety.
It seems as if forty days are a good chunk of time to accomplish something. I notice this every time I get my hair cut. My hairdresser always makes sure that I schedule my next hair cut before I leave the one I am having. I go every eight weeks. Many times as I leave I think, “Oh, by then I hope to have accomplished thus and such...” Sometimes I hit the mark. Other times I need to reevaluate. Regardless, I feel that the time is doable. I don’t get overwhelmed.
Traditionally the time of Lent (Ash Wednesday- Maundy Thursday) is usually a time of giving up and sacrifice as a symbol of Christ’s sacrifice for us. The sacrifice is usually one of tangible pleasure- certain foods or activities.
But what about a sacrifice of time? Giving up your time in one activity in order to take time for another activity? For the secular world, forty days is a doable amount to sustain a new habit. What new habits do you want in your life? Can you commit to practicing it over the next forty days?
Suggestions:
- Giving up looking at Facebook in order to visit with a friend- a relational habit
- Giving up running out to “pick up something to eat” (which always takes longer than you think) in order to plan menus for sit down dinners at home- a healthy eating and financial habit
- Giving up watching Netflix for reading a book suggested from a book club-an intellectual habit
- Giving up watching the news on television in order to listen to a different news source on the internet/radio-an intellectual habit
- Giving up your personal gym time for scheduled walking with a friend-a relational and financial habit
What about you? How do you treat the Lenten season? Do you give up or take on something for Lent? Have you ever thought about forty days as a good chunk of time to try something new?
Mr. Oscar, Welcome to the Real World
I find it quite amusing all the hubbub about the Oscar night and the mix up with the best picture nomination. Hasn’t any one of those involved had a snafu? Why do they act like it is the biggest disaster since the Titanic?
It made me think about those involved- privileged, pampered, “perfect” people. People who have “my people” who do everything for them; dress them, style them, give them the words to speak and how to move and behave. After all they are actors. Professional fakers. When things do not go right in their professional worlds, they just “cut and re- do”.
Sunday night there was no reshoot. No do-over.
And it is okay. The world won’t fall off the axis. It should make the rest of us feel pretty good about ourselves. Sometimes things happen that just happen. It is not intentional. It was not deliberate. When it does, we just have to keep the incident in perspective, find the humor in it and then move on.
I am sure each one of you can recount incidences, snafus and general faux pas. Whether it is the inappropriate bodily sound that accidentally “slipped” in public, an inadvertently sent email to the wrong recipient, or a physical trip during a solemn event it is all okay.
It is what makes us human. No one is perfect. We shouldn’t demand perfection of ourselves nor of others. There is the difference between perfection and striving for excellence. While we should strive for excellence and strive to do and be the best we can, we shouldn’t get so hung up on not being perfect.
So Mr. Oscar and Ms. Hollywood- welcome to reality. In the real world, people don’t wear gold lame in the afternoon. They don’t have hair, makeup and clothing stylists tending and fawning over them before they go out in public. They don’t have designers fighting over the clothes they wear. Their opinions, politically or otherwise are not tweeted and taken as gospel.
In the real world, people tend to themselves. They strive to look the best they can within their means. They worry about kids, colds, food, money and job security. When they do have to do public speaking (possibly at a funeral or wedding), what is not seen as “polish” is spoken with sincerity and heartfelt meaning.
What about you? Do you have an embarrassing public story? What happened? Were you ever able to move on from it? If not, why not?
For the real world, it is time that Mr. Oscar caught up. When we experience an embarrassing moment, we just need to laugh, shake it off and realize that even professionals have things happen too.