Do With What You've Got
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbxGvsNWfY.
While I was attending to my garden, the above song played in my Spotify list. I had never heard it before but was stopped in my gardening project to really listen to the words. “It’s what you do with what you’ve got,” that got me. My dad used to say, it is not how much money one makes but what you do with it that matters. I don’t know if my dad was always thinking about being as altruistic and generous as the rest of the song implies but it gave me a remembrance smile.
It is such a timely message during these turbulent times.
For it seems as if a typical reaction to when things are difficult is to shelter in- like a turtle- draw yourself into your little shell of a home and hope the predator goes away. Or, another typical reaction is to blame others for one’s predicament. Which can either cause resentment, bitterness or victimhood.
What I like about this song is the reminder that our lives are all about sharing and caring for one another. And, it doesn’t matter the circumstances of one’s birth: into what family you’ve been born, what socio-economic class, or what physical, social or even spiritual gifts you’ve been given. What matters is what you do with what you have.
Similar to Jesus teaching about one’s talents. It is important to grow and develop those talents. It is important to grow and share what one has.
Recently I heard an illustration about heaven and hell. In both places a banquet is occurring. In hell, all the individuals are shackled on their arms. As such, they cannot feed themselves and the atmosphere is one of deprivation. In heaven, the individuals are also all shackled on their arms yet there is an atmosphere of joy and celebration. The difference- in hell each is trying to reach one’s own mouth with food and it cannot be done. In heaven, each is feeding each other and so everyone gets fed.
There is an interesting organization: The Human Generosity Project. According to its website: “The Human Generosity Project is the first large-scale transdisciplinary research project to investigate the interrelationship between biological and cultural influences on human generosity. We use multiple methodologies to understand the nature and evolution of human generosity including fieldwork, laboratory experiments and computational modeling.” (humangenerosity.org). Through this project and information, the researchers are trying to understand and apply human generosity to resource management and disaster recovery.
What about you? Do you make due with what you have? Do you share? Do you use/share your talents, circumstance, time or treasure for others?
It's not just what you're born with
It′s what you choose to bear
It′s not how big your share is
But how much you can share
And it's not the fights you dreamed of
But those you really fought
It′s not what you've been given
It′s what you do with what you've got
More and more I am praying for a generous heart and spirit. Not just with time, talent and treasure but also with my attitude towards others. Especially towards those I might not have (seemingly) anything in common or with whom I do not agree.
Snow Stories
Our house during a lull in the recent blizzard. At the time of the picture, we were shoveling the “first” pass before the next go round.
In our local journal there was a very sweet human interest story about a rescued cat. During our recent blizzard a small cat escaped from his home. One of the neighbors happened to be outside and heard a meow from far up in one of the trees. That neighbor called the fire department, animal control and all types of rescue places. Because of the blizzard and the road conditions, no one could come out. She and other neighbors, tried various ways to get to the cat but to no avail. Someone suggested posting on a local neighborhood online board. She did and soon two folks came by who were ironworkers and so were used to heights. Before the neighbor could explain to them what might be the plan, the one gentleman had climbed the tree and had rescued the little cat. The journal was happy to report kitty was doing well, safely back in her family’s home and the neighbors who joined together over this common crisis have been connected.
In another Blizzard of ‘26 story, one of our friends witnessed a snow plow truck getting stuck in his street and then two additional trucks getting stuck while coming to the aide of the first. So, he and his neighbors went out and hand dug the trucks out of the situation. As he said, “It turned out to be a lot of fun. Everyone got together over a common purpose.”
Reminds me that small acts of kindnesses are what brings communities together.
In this time of uncertainty, we need to remind each other of our commonality and our need to help one another. One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 8:14: “your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need”. It is not that life should be a tit for tat ledger and that I am keeping score so that when I need something, you have to give it to me. Rather life is a recognition that at various times of our lives we will have plenty and at other times, we will have want. In God’s economy, if everyone shares when we have plenty with those in need, it will be enough.
Abundance can mean all sorts of things: money, time, talents, encouragement, hope, kindness, etc. I could regale you with many stories of how our needs were supplied by the generosity of others- both financially and emotionally. Our response is that, when we can, we help others through our generosity of our time, talent and treasure.
We help others when we can and then at other times, we accept help when we may need it. For, like it or not, we will all need someone to help us at some point of our lives. And for some of us, we will need more help than we thought.
When we do the small acts for each other, the larger acts are not as difficult. We become practiced in the ebb and flow of giving and receiving.
What about you? If you had wintry weather like we did, any stories of neighbors coming together? Have you witnessed small acts of kindnesses? Ever? Do you look for opportunities to be the bearer of small kindnesses to someone who might need it?
The thing about sharing is that it gives back to us in so many ways. It is truly better to give than to receive. When we give, we enter into a cycle: we are metaphorically, sometimes even physically, releasing something that we are holding to the recipient. That in turn creates for ourselves a space and an openness to receive something new: a new opportunity, situation, or even something tangible. Mostly, in giving, we create an opportunity to be joined with our fellow travelers on this journey of life.
Depth
I heard the musician Mike Donehey talking about this new song, All Together. He said that many times while we may feel comfortable sharing our testimonies of past struggles we hesitate to share what we are currently going through. I thought that was an interesting observation.
The hesitancy to not share the current struggle is, I think, due to a fear of being vulnerable: exposed, unguarded, susceptible, unsafe, weak, accessible, defenseless, tender, wide-open. When we share our past struggles, there is an implication just by being “in the past” that those struggles do not plague us now, that we have learned, moved on or have become stronger. Admitting current struggles puts us squarely in the bulls-eye of vulnerability.
While there is a risk involved in sharing one’s issues, there is special bond between people when we do share with one another. I think of recovering addicts and those in a twelve-step program.
While I am not personally knowledgeable about the addiction community, from what I hear from friends and family who struggle and attend meetings is that the community is incredibly honest about their current struggles. Part of the whole point in the daily/weekly meeting is having accountability and recognizing that every day, sometimes every minute is a fight and the addiction is never once and done. There are no past testimonies only current ones.
“Cracks are where the lights get in…”
I love this line from the song. What a great image. I envision cracks in the sidewalk. A small opening that becomes wider, filling with dirt and debris, followed by a stray seed blowing into the opening. Water and sunlight mix and suddenly, a lone plant emerges. The jagged thin line of the broken cement can be the beginning of growth. Sometimes I think the most thriving plants grow and develop in the cracks of my front sidewalk.
I sometimes forget the importance of sharing with one another. Of course, there is a time and place to share. No one wants to be an Eeyore for every problem, but there are times when sharing about our difficult situations can help others. For in sharing, others realize that they are not alone and that if someone else can manage in similar circumstances, then perhaps they can too.
Years ago I shared with an acquaintance how I had struggled with depression due to a very stressful work situation. I explained how I did not handle the situation in the best way and was able to share my lessons learned. Whether that ultimately helped the individual, I will never know, but I think it did create some closeness that otherwise would never have occurred.
What about you? Do you try and hold it all together? Have you ever shared your struggles? Not just past, but present? What happened?
There is a risk in sharing about ourselves. I have felt the pain in sharing and having my feelings not well-received or nurtured. It stings one’s pride and makes one want to retreat into a little turtle shell. “Laugh and others will laugh with you. Cry and others will laugh at you.” was a maxim that I heard when I was little. From an early age I was taught to not share too much. Don’t be vulnerable because you most likely will get hurt.
As I have aged I have thought a lot about those sayings. While I struggle with sharing “my true self” and the ups and downs, I would rather be authentic in my life- which includes struggles. There is a line from a song Vince Gill sings about his wife Amy Grant. In it he says she likes the color black because without it there would be no depth. I think our sharing our current struggle, the darkness in our lives, brings depth into our relationships and light shines brighter in the darkness.
Enough
Incredible that the photographer could find just one cicada. At our home, there are more than enough.
What is enough for you? “Enough-A quantity that satisfies”? Enough money? Enough material things? Clothes? Cars? Enough friends?
What does is mean to be generous? “Generous-Ample, abundant, not stingy”. Can one be generous only when one has enough?
Is being generous the same as sharing? “Share- to divide and distribute in portions.”
My nephew tells the story of when he was visiting an under-developed nation. He was being shown around to different mission projects by one of the local pastors and a guide. Andrew had been advised to bring snacks along with him during the day as the availability of food, namely food that would agree with a westerner's stomach, was slim.
He brought out his little baggy of pretzels and was going to eat. He turned to the local pastor to see if the gentleman would want any. The man had never had pretzels. He was as poor as the people they were visiting.
My nephew goes on to say that without a moment’s hesitation the local pastor turned to the guide traveling with them and immediately offered him some pretzels.
As Andrew commented, what a testimony of generosity from someone who did not have much. Certainly from someone who didn’t have “enough”. The man’s first thought was to share, to divide and distribute his portion.
When I look at the natural world I see a system that is designed for sharing and generosity. Oh sure, there is the survival of the fittest and the “dog eat dog” world. The animal kingdom can be quite brutal. But I am thinking more of the plants and the growing world that sustains us. Take my marigolds- one little flower contains dozens of seeds. I saved some from last year and am now seeing the growth of multiple flowers. My hydrangeas are bursting with blooms just beckoning to be shared.
Currently we are living in the epicenter of the Cicada “invasion”. It is an unbelievable testament to the mystery of God’s incredible design. These strange, alien-looking critters only come to the surface every seventeen years and are short-lived. Their sole purpose is to continue the cicada line by surfacing, mating and then dying. The next generation lives and grows in the earth until the next seventeen years and the cycle begins again. Why we may ask? Who knows? But these critters aerate the soil, provide an abundant food source for birds and the like, and their composting bodies provide organic matter. Their abundance and “generosity” in the natural world provides more than enough. Supposedly there are 1.4 million cicadas per acre. If you lived at our home you would believe it- the sound of all of them vying for mates is deafening.
When I see the natural abundance around me I realize that with God, there is always enough. Perhaps that is what that local pastor knew when he shared his pretzels with his fellow guide.
What about you? What is your take on “enough” and sharing? Do you know people who are extremely generous? Time? Talent? Resources? Those whose first thought is to share?
My prayer is that when I turn to those around me, may my first reaction be to share. After all, with God, there is always enough.
Enough
I’ve been struck lately with the idea of [having] enough: enough vaccine, PPE, food, water, clothing, shelter, time, friends, family, money, talent. You name it, we can quantify it and determine if there is enough to go around. Sadly, in many cases around the world there isn’t enough.
But what does enough really mean? The official definition is “as much or as many as required”, but that still begs the question, What is required? For some people or at least as evident by the amount of material things in their possession, required means a whole lot of everything-money, cars, televisions, clothes, real estate. For others it might mean friends, offspring, or extended family or just enough of the basics- food, water, shelter, or good health.
I’ve heard it said that if we approach life with the idea that there is “enough” to go around, we will be more likely to share and to recognize that there is enough for all. We become in tune to what is enough for our own needs and can then be in a position to offer enough to someone else. We start to recognize the extra that we have and how it can be used by someone else. There is a feeling of joy with the gift of sharing.
Paul reminds us that “your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply you need… ‘Whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack.’” (2 Corinthians 8:14) In some ways, it is the “what goes around, comes around” idea of sharing.
I guess I might be thinking this way as my husband and I have entered another chapter of our lives. The boys are grown, we are hitting our strides in our respective work and we are in a position to reflect and decide where we want to focus our energies, time, talent and resources. There is a joy in feeling that we have “enough” and that we can be in a position to help others so that they may achieve their “enough”.
I have also been struck with the word “enough” and how it can also be used to state fullness or sufficiency as well as reaching a critical mass. During these pandemic times I have heard from many who have had “enough”; enough of the lock down, enough of the hand washing, enough of the isolation, enough of the wishing for better times. Sometimes in this meaning of "having enough”, there is a finality and feeling of despair and lack of hope.
But, there is also the “By golly, I have had enough and am ready to move on…” meaning of “I have had enough.”
So what is our next step? Or do we first need to determine what is enough for ourselves? If we have [had] enough- whether that is fullness, satiation or reached the end of our limits, what do we do next?
I think practicing simplicity helps us determine what is enough with our material items. There are many different ideologies on how to live simply. Overall it is a state of mind that creates space and margins in our lives- physically, emotionally and spiritually. Richard Foster defines it, “an inward reality that manifests in an outward lifestyle”.
I know that in the physical realm, I am revisiting the idea of “enough stuff”. As much as we espoused to voluntary simplicity in our lives and strived to live with that mindset, I am ashamed to say that many things have expanded and accumulated in our household. Once again we are in the process of de-cluttering and freeing up space. It does create a lightness of being. By clearing out, it helps in discerning what is truly necessary, meaningful and beautiful in our lives. It affords us to think in terms of quality not quantity.
Simplicity and the idea of “what is enough” can also be used in our emotional state. I am always amazed at how many things we, as a society, get worked up about. We make things much harder than they seem or need to be. When one really looks at life, it all comes down to simple practices- whether exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, honest relationships, empathy and being grateful.
One thing that seems to be universal with being grateful is focusing on our “haves”- what are the things that we have in our lives? (rather than what we do not have). Seems to me that when I focus on what I do have, I realize that I have enough. More than enough. I do not have to feel competitive for resources for I am satisfied with what I have.
The following is an interesting TED talk about the idea of enough. While I might not totally agree with all that he says, I certainly see his point. He does raise my consciousness about what is enough as I go through my day. Click here to watch.
What about you? Have you had enough? Emotionally? Physically? Mentally? Have you ever been in want? Are you still? Have you ever been in a position to give-away- items, money, resources, time? How did that make you feel?
Day 24: Words and Pictures: Share
Remember the old book- All I really needed to know I learned in Kindergarten? Perhaps our politicians and global community need to reread it.
My husband shared with me an interesting article that he had read on Deutsche Welle News online. It was an interview with an Israeli historian and professor. He was asked about the current global pandemic. As Professor Yuval Noah Harari observed, “I think the biggest danger is not the virus itself. Humanity has all the scientific knowledge and technological tools to overcome the virus. The really big problem is our own inner demons, our own hatred, greed and ignorance. I'm afraid that people are reacting to this crisis not with global solidarity, but with hatred, blaming other countries, blaming ethnic and religious minorities. But I hope that we will be able to develop our compassion, and not our hatred, to react with global solidarity, which will develop our generosity to help people in need. And that we develop our ability to discern the truth and not believe all these conspiracy theories. If we do that, I have no doubt that we can easily overcome this crisis.” **
I would agree with him and also add fear to the list of inner demons with which people are struggling.
The question becomes then, how do we combat that? How do we rise above our inner demons of hatred, fear, blaming others? How do we develop compassion?
I think we need to return to what we learned as children: we need to remember to share.
I read an interesting story. A reporter once asked a farmer why his corn won the state fair contest every year. The farmer revealed that it was because he shared his seeds with neighbors. The perplexed reporter wondered why. The farmer’s answer: “Sir, don’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grew inferior corn, cross-pollination would degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbor do the same.”
When we share we feel good. According to a 2008 Harvard Business School survey, when people give away money it lifts one’s spirits more than spending that money on oneself. When we share whatever we have, we feel that we have more than enough. We feel “wealthy”. We don’t have to feel scared that someone else will “get one over on us”, to feel that someone else is taking away that which we are entitled
When we share we are lifted out of ourselves- thinking about ourselves and our needs and wants- and begin to think of someone else. Would this thing that I am sharing help them in their situation? What we might be stewing and worrying about takes second place when we start thinking of others and how we can help them. I know that the best way for me to snap out of a funk is to help someone else- to share my time, (limited) talent and resources with them.
I think that sharing helps block those demons of hatred. On some level there is an invisible bond that is created when we share. How can one hate someone who has partaken in something that was yours? This thing that we have shared connects me to you- it might be an obligation or it could just be a mutual appreciation.
I was teary-eyed as I read the following letter that NY Governor Andrew Cuomo received and read on yesterday’s daily press briefing. Click here to see the video.
What about you? How do you counter the demons of this world? What heart stirring stories have you heard this week?
How can we get rid of the demons? Share. Be compassionate. Show humility. Remember that for each one of us, “by the grace of God go I”. We ARE in this all together.
Share the Bounty
Even the bushes are getting a little “dog tired”. While this is part of just one of many bushes that I have trimmed and cut blossoms, I still find more blossoms tucked underneath.
The dog days of summer. It is at this point, every year where the bounty of the harvest begins and keeps going: tomatoes, zucchini, raspberries, hydrangeas. Nature has a way of producing so so much.
My father always planted a vegetable garden. From his small patch of turned over dirt, he could produce a fairly big yield. One vegetable that he grew in vast quantities were tomatoes. Every year he would buy extra tomato plants. “Just in case some don’t live”. The thing is, I do not remember ever a time when a plant died. They always all lived. Consequently, around this time in August, there would be tomatoes galore. My mother and my grandmother (who lived nearby) would have marathon canning days. I remember the sounds of those days: the hissing of the pressure cooker, the wiggling of the inverted jars in the big roasting “sanitizing” pans, the boiling rumble of tops and rubber gaskets. It seemed that the smell of cooked tomatoes would permeate the house for days afterwards.
Because Dad planted so many tomatoes, those not eaten by family and friends nor canned by Mom and Grandma were sold at a table stand at the end of our street. It seemed to me that I was always the one stuck sitting behind the table, selling to neighbors and passers-by. Paper bags, pad of paper and pencils, kitchen scale and formerly-cigar-now-cash box were my tools of the trade. (Plus a library book to keep me company). Lined up with stem side down, the various sized tomatoes were grouped in pristine rows (no stacking for fear of soft spots). The tomatoes were sold by weight. Much as I hated the selling process it was a good exercise in math: learning to weigh the tomatoes and then multiply the weight by price per pound. I also had to learn to give change. I still remember the older boys who lived around the corner. For some reason they reminded me of the Beach Boys. (Probably just an association at that specific time: my brother was listening to the Beach Boys and these neighbors looked like surfers.) They would walk across the street, buy tomatoes and then eat them like an apple. Never seen that before or since.
Alas, due to our tree-lined yard I do not have the ability to have the vegetable garden like my dad’s. I may not been able to enjoy my own home grown tomatoes, but I do have tons of hydrangeas.
I have found that with nature, you cannot out give it. It is always producing and giving its produce to you. The more your cut and take away, the more it gives. It seems if I cut the hydrangeas to give away, I end up with more blooms on that bush. Same with our raspberries. I pick the branch and there seems to be more produced.
Makes me think of God and His generosity. The physical world through nature is his expression of His personality and character. He is good and generous. One cannot out give God. He loves to lavish on His children. And, there is always more from Him. He doesn’t run out of goodness. There isn’t a fund or ledger of limited amounts of goodness: “don’t ask for too much or you will use it up.” On the contrary Jesus tells us to “ask and it shall be given to you.” (Matthew 7: 7)
He just gives and gives and gives.
Not only does He give but we are called to join him in generosity. “Give to others, and God will give to you. Indeed, you will receive a full measure, a generous helping, poured into your hands--all that you can hold. The measure you use for others is the one that God will use for you." (Luke 6: 38)
What about you? Have you ever experienced the abundance of nature? What is your experience with God’s abundance? Do you ever feel that there is a limit to what you are given? Talent? Monetary objects? Time? Are you afraid that once given away, you won’t receive more? Do you wait to get from God first before you give or do you just give freely?
For me, sometimes I forget that I need to pick the raspberries in order to have more. It is if the bush is willing me, pushing me to take and give. To share what I have with others in order for me to have room for more. Just like the raspberries, that process of having more is a sign of growth and development.
Same applies with all the blessings that I have- to give in order to receive. After all, only empty and open hands can be filled.
Five Words
I was listening to a podcast interview and the interviewee shared some words of advice that she had once heard. And so I share with you, what was shared to the listening audience that had been shared to her... (For those of you who are old enough to remember the old Faberge Organic Shampoo Commercial, “and they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on, and so on...”)
Sharing our encouragements, life lessons and thoughts with one another is one of the main reasons I believe that we are called into community. There is no way that one person can have all the wisdom for life. Sure, there are wise individuals but because of our complexities and diversity we need the collective wisdom of one another. We need to share that wisdom. I was reminded of that in watching the movie, Arrival. The only way to understand and save Earth from the “Aliens” (Though we see that in actuality, it is not the alien who is the problem- We need to be rescued from our panicky, anxious selves.) was to share with one another the information gathered in how to communicate with them. It was a good movie and had many underlying themes, but the getting along through words was one of them.
Here are the five words that were shared in the interview. Using your hand you can state each of the five words with each finger, putting down one digit as you recite the next in line. And so on, and so on.
5. How can I help you? By asking another how we can help, we are setting up a different perspective for ourselves: we are taking the focus off of us and placing the lens on another. This helps us realize that we are not the sole proprietor of life. There are others in the world. It also puts us in a posture of humility and purpose. We have an attitude of servitude- not because we are superior and we don’t have issues- but because your needs are just as (or more than not) important at this time than mine. Also, in helping others, we find a purpose, if not for a long haul, but for the immediate time.
4. I’m proud of you. One of the most sought after emotion is to be known and recognized: acknowledged for who we are, for what we have done and for what we will be. These four words speaks into all relationships.
3. I love you. Again, another emotion that all are craving: love. Especially unconditionally.
2. You too. To love and be loved. Doesn’t Alfred Lord Tennyson declare, “Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.”
1. We. One word, yet a powerful collective. Life is about all of us. Not one. Not a select few. Not partial. But We. A beautiful sentiment. (There is no “I’ in TEAM.)
What about you? Do you have any couple of words or phrases by which you live? Words that speak to your heart? Words that you feel have universal appeal? Do you reflect those words in your daily life? In how you live and treat others?
What information do you feel is important to impart- to tell two friends, who tell two friends and so on, and so on...
W@TW: Caregiver's Fatigue
"Yes, yes, yes...."
Such were my answers recently to a quiz about caregiving fatigue that I took on a whim as I was researching resources about caregiving. I found the replies to the questions shocking because I thought that I was handling my caregiving responsibilities so much better than a couple of months ago.
Apparently not.
It seems as if so many people I know are going through difficult times in the care of their elderly parents. There are many mixed emotions: guilt over not doing enough for the parent, guilt over doing too much and neglecting other family members, anger over siblings not doing their "fair share", anger over siblings interfering with the established care, frustration with the medical establishment for not taking the elderly seriously, frustration with the elderly parent for not taking the caregiver's other responsibilities seriously, guilt over doing the "right" thing and caring for the parent who cared for him in his childhood versus wanting to live one's own adult life before getting too old to enjoy it.
For many of us who are in the caregiver role it seems as if there are no specific answers. Each person's situation is different and each, I would surmise, would say that her commitment has to be the way it is. "Mom wouldn't understand/like if someone else took care of her." It is just the way things are and how things have to be.
Or is it?
I realize that there is a big need out there for care for the caregiver. I absolutely agree that if the caregiver gets sick, everything else can fall apart. My heart breaks when I meet someone and they start telling me about their extended family care needs. Even before the words are out explaining about a family member, I'll recognize the tell tale signs of caregiving burnout: the pooling, panicky, blinking eyes; the "need to reassure" statements; "Things could be worse..., I am blessed..., She did so much for me when I was younger..., It's the least I can do..." All indications that the person is hanging on to sanity with a thread. The loathsomeness and loneliness of feeling that she has to keep these thoughts to herself or be labeled selfish.
I do not have any answers to this quandary. All I know is that no one who experiences caregiving is going it alone. There are many people in the same situation and many feel the same way. I know that each day I wrestle with some aspect of the difficulties in caregiving. Ultimately I want to go through this experience with grace, truth and love. As I travel down this road, I want to say that I learned something positive and that I was joyful even in the midst of struggles.
I can honestly say that nothing has been further from the truth.
So, what to do about it? I really do not know. Because for all the articles written about caregiving burnout and all the advice of how to prevent it, there comes a time when there is nothing one can do but to experience it. You have to go through the fire to come out the other end. Even with the best intention of following the "what to do to prevent" it, burnout still happens. So, I am trying to write my experiences as they happen with the hope that I could help someone else one day. Although I am coming to the conclusion that the person the journaling really helps is me: it gives me a sense of purpose to what seems like a waste of years. (Again, in just writing the sentence I need to clarify what appears to be selfish and fills me with self-loathing. The wasted years is my struggle rather than the care I give.)
What about you? Have you found yourself in a caregiving role? Are you experiencing any caregiver burnout or fatigue? What do you do to prevent it from happening? Have you found any tips?
Let's resolve to join together and share our experiences. If for nothing else, we realize that we are not going this alone. There is help in sharing the journey and collectively caring for the caregiver.
One Hand
This week I committed the cardinal sin of kitchens. I placed a sharp cutting knife in the soapy dishwater and forgot about it. Only when I was washing the dishes did I come upon it- by slicing the tip of my left-hand, middle finger.
Yikes. Talk about blood. God love my "faint upon seeing blood" husband. (He now has a sticker in his medical chart. He must lie down with his feet preventively above his head when he gets labs drawn. Too many times when he passed out giving a small vial to check his hemoglobin,etc.)
Once I got the bleeding somewhat under control, he helped me put a butterfly bandage on it. He always amazes me. He knows just what to do and does it. Part of it comes from his first aid training in Boy Scouts. In fact, he was the one who taught the class at Boy Scout camp. I always wondered how did that work? Didn't he faint as he taught the class? "Purely theoretical", he replies. (It is after the crisis is over, will he have to lie down and let the color return to his face.)
I now have 2 butterfly bandages on my finger, plus a flexible fabric bandage to contain the antibiotic ointment and another knuckle bandage over top of it all. It really extends my middle finger so that when I move my hand, I look like I am perpetually ticked off at everyone. (which some days describes my mood)
The thing is, having limited use of my left hand is a big annoyance. It is just a small appendage, but I have to rethink what I am doing. I don't want to get that hand wet because the soggy bandages have to be continually changed. I don't want to use it when I garden because I don't want dirt in my cut. So many things I do, require that I use both hands and for the time being I can't.
"Two hands are better than one". That is certainly an apropos adage. Two hands can provide strength, support, and symmetry. For us as individuals we need to have the balance of both sides.
It makes me thing that in the global sense, we need two hands; we need the balance of both sides. We need the strength, support and symmetry that comes when there is more than just one idea, one way of doing something, or one solution.
With my one handedness, I have to ask my husband to help. I find that it is quite a bother because I am, as I have mentioned before, an independent cuss. It is humbling to have someone else button a button or fix a clasp.
But isn't that what we are asked to do? Help others? Give support? Provide strength? Be humble?
Just like we need two hands, we need one another.
What about you? Ever have trouble with your appendages? Temporarily or permanently? What did you learn with that experience?
(NO) Soup For You!
This winter I have been making a lot of soup. At first I was intimidated and in some respects I still am. (The soup nazi lives in my brain- for all you Seinfeld folks.) My past history of trying different soups, attempting to make my own stock haven't been that successful- dishwater my one son will say.
Alas, I have decided to overcome my intimidation and keep at it. The results haven't been too bad but then again, the food critic is at college right now.
One thing I like about making soup is that I have found that it doesn't take too long. The biggest time is spent prepping the ingredients. After that, I let the simmer burner on my stove take over or use my crock pot on low.
Here are some recipes that I have found to be successful and delicious. As with all my cooking, I may add or subtract slightly to the amounts depending on what I want to "use up" in my fridge. It is more about keeping the quantities in relative balance.
Italian Sausage Soup (quite hardy and satisfying especially on cold nights):
- 1 can 28ounce stewed tomatoes, undrained and mashed (I have used diced tomatoes too)
- 4 cups pared and diced potatoes
- 1 cup chopped celery
- 2 tbs. minced celery leaves
- 1/4 cup minced fresh parsley
- 1 quart chicken broth
- 2 cups water
- 1 cup tomato sauce or juice
- 1 pound hot Italian link sausage (I have used bulk ground sausage and broken it up)
- 1 pound mild Italian link sausage (ditto)
- 1/2 cup chopped onion
- 2 tbs. sugar
- 1 tbs. lemon juice
- 1 bay leaf
- 1/2 tsp. dried whole thyme (I have used fresh- about a heaping tablespoon)
- 1/4 tsp freshly cracked pepper
- 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, for topping
- 1 loaf garlic bread or other bread of choice to serve with soup.
Combine first eight ingredients in large Dutch oven; bring to boil. Reduce heat and cook on low for 45 minutes. While soup is cooking slice sausages in 1/4 inch circles; do not remove casings. (Or break up the bulk sausage) Brown sausage in a large skillet, drain and pour off all but 2 tablespoons pan drippings and saute onion until tender. Drain well. Add sausage and onion to the tomato mixture. Add all remaining ingredients except cheese and bread. Cook covered an additional 45-60 minutes. Ladle into serving bowls and sprinkle with cheese. Serve with hot bread. Serves 8-12 as a main dish. (I will add a green salad to round out the meal.)
Butternut Squash Soup (Given to me by my dearest friend. She made the soup for me during a time when I needed meals. I have made it numerous times for our family and also to share with others.)
- 2 lbs. butternut squash, peel, seeded and diced. (This takes the most time but not so bad once you get the hang of it. Some markets have pre-diced squash for sale if time is a concession to you.)
- 2 cups chicken or vegetable stock
- 1 cup diced, peeled potato ( I use red potatoes so I do not peel them)
- 1 medium onion, diced
- 2 peeled garlic cloves
- 2/3 heavy cream (or milk)
- 2 tsp chopped fresh dill (I add more of the fresh, depending on how big the squash was)
- 1 tsp cumin
- salt and pepper to taste
Combine diced squash, vegetable stock, potato, onion and garlic. Simmer covered for 15 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Puree 2 minutes until smooth and creamy. (I have invested in one of those immersible wand blenders and it has been fantastic! No lost soup on the sides of the blender if you have to move your soup in batches to and from pot to blender back to pot.) Add milk or cream, dill, cumin, salt and pepper. Simmer soup for 5 minutes. Garnish with dill springs. Serve with green salad or toasted cheese sandwiches. Serves 4.
What I like about making a large batch is that I have some to freeze (I use the ziplock quart containers with the blue twist top), some to eat now and some to give away.
What about you? Are you a soup person? Which are your favorites? Share your recipes below.
The Power of One
This past week I attended a lecture which featured the Executive Director of the Catholic Charities of Baltimore. It was eye-opening regarding the needs of our community but it was more inspirational regarding the kindness of others.
Once again I am struck with the goodness of people. Yes, I know that overall we are sinful creatures but I cannot help but think that we are also longing to be the people that God has called us to be. We are waiting for opportunities to be effective. There are so many people who are generous with their time, talents and money. The stories in the Catholic Charities are not unique to them. I hear them time and time again from so many wonderful non-profit organizations.
Interestingly that this week the story of the loaves and fishes was in my daily Bible read. As the story goes, the day was late, evening was coming and the large crowd that had gathered throughout the day to hear Jesus preach were still there. It was time for people to eat but as they had gathered in a remote place there were no fast food joints, no take-away places, no ready made food anywhere. The only thing available was the donation of five loaves and two fishes from a boy whose mother probably wanted to ensure that her son had food for his day out. The boy readily shared what little he had with the disciples. Jesus took that small amount, blessed it and it became large- adequate to feed the thousands of attendees with even twelve baskets of left-overs.
Little becomes much when we are willing to share what we have with others. The theme for the Catholic Charities video is the power of one. It refers to the story of the young girl moving stranded starfish one by one back to the sea. An old man watches her for a while and says, "Little girl, why are you going to such trouble to move the starfish. There are so many of them, what difference can you make?" The little girl didn't reply right away as she was in the middle of returning one starfish to the sea. When she had finished, she turned to the old man, "Well, I made a difference to that one."
What difference can we make to those around us? To our family, our friends, our neighbors, or the stranger down the street? I know many times I wonder what do I have to offer? I am not rich, nor influential, nor talented, but I have a willing and generally compassionate heart. I think that one of the reasons community however you want to define it, is so important is that through our collective gathering of resources and wills we can produce change and make a difference to others. One person's small portion might not affect any large amount of change but when all the portions are put together much can happen. And that willingness of heart of one person can affect others and their willingness to help. Creating positive "peer pressure" so to speak. For when one person does something it can encourage others to think, "Gosh, if he can do that, I can certainly do that as well."
What difference can I make? I can only offer my small "loaves and fishes" portion and believe that in the hands of the Master, little will become much in the lives of others. The power of one- multiplied.