Do With What You've Got

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbxGvsNWfY.

While I was attending to my garden, the above song played in my Spotify list. I had never heard it before but was stopped in my gardening project to really listen to the words. “It’s what you do with what you’ve got,” that got me. My dad used to say, it is not how much money one makes but what you do with it that matters. I don’t know if my dad was always thinking about being as altruistic and generous as the rest of the song implies but it gave me a remembrance smile.

It is such a timely message during these turbulent times.

For it seems as if a typical reaction to when things are difficult is to shelter in- like a turtle- draw yourself into your little shell of a home and hope the predator goes away. Or, another typical reaction is to blame others for one’s predicament. Which can either cause resentment, bitterness or victimhood.

What I like about this song is the reminder that our lives are all about sharing and caring for one another. And, it doesn’t matter the circumstances of one’s birth: into what family you’ve been born, what socio-economic class, or what physical, social or even spiritual gifts you’ve been given. What matters is what you do with what you have.

Similar to Jesus teaching about one’s talents. It is important to grow and develop those talents. It is important to grow and share what one has.

Recently I heard an illustration about heaven and hell. In both places a banquet is occurring. In hell, all the individuals are shackled on their arms. As such, they cannot feed themselves and the atmosphere is one of deprivation. In heaven, the individuals are also all shackled on their arms yet there is an atmosphere of joy and celebration. The difference- in hell each is trying to reach one’s own mouth with food and it cannot be done. In heaven, each is feeding each other and so everyone gets fed.

There is an interesting organization: The Human Generosity Project. According to its website: “The Human Generosity Project is the first large-scale transdisciplinary research project to investigate the interrelationship between biological and cultural influences on human generosity. We use multiple methodologies to understand the nature and evolution of human generosity including fieldwork, laboratory experiments and computational modeling.” (humangenerosity.org). Through this project and information, the researchers are trying to understand and apply human generosity to resource management and disaster recovery.

What about you? Do you make due with what you have? Do you share? Do you use/share your talents, circumstance, time or treasure for others?

• It's not just what you're born with

• It′s what you choose to bear

• It′s not how big your share is

• But how much you can share

• And it's not the fights you dreamed of

• But those you really fought

• It′s not what you've been given

• It′s what you do with what you've got

More and more I am praying for a generous heart and spirit. Not just with time, talent and treasure but also with my attitude towards others. Especially towards those I might not have (seemingly) anything in common or with whom I do not agree.

80/20

The 80/20 Rule. Perhaps you have heard the saying as it applies to how people work- In any organization, 20% of the people do 80% of the work or some such thing.

The 80/20 rule is known as the Pareto principle or the law of the vital few, which basically means that in many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.

Seems like there is a lot of 80/20 applied to living yet I wonder if we actually do it?

There is a financial lifestyle rule of 80/20 which divides living as such: 80% for expenses with the remainder 20% for saving (10%) and giving away (10%). Living within 80% of one’s means is liberating. By doing so, it allows room for financial confidence (through saving) and financial generosity. It provides some space for the financial unexpected both for ourselves and others.

I have been thinking- what if we lived all aspects of our lives like that? 80/20. Our time for instance? Instead of living crammed up to the minute with activity, we kept 20 % of time “open”? It would allow us wiggle room for the unexpected: the chat with the neighbor, the errand for a friend, the reading of a book, even the possible traffic delay.

What would it be like to not feel rushed every second of every day? I know that I am guilty of this behavior more times than I care to admit. No wonder I am pooped at the end of the day. What if I left some time for contemplation, reading, or day-dreaming?

There are twenty-four hours in a day: we know we should be sleeping @ 8 hours, leaving 16 hours for work and whatever. If we applied 20% of our time “open” that would give us @ 4.8 hours a day. Just writing that, makes me feel anxious- isn’t that “wasting” our precious time commodity? But, I am wondering if we could (more like, could I?) leave wiggle room throughout the course of a day? Not necessarily have 4.8 hours all in one block of time, rather leaving time in our schedule- starting with five minutes here, ten minutes there- to be open to interruptions, new possibilities and the unexpected?

Many years ago I heard Dan Buettner talk about Blue Zones (book by the same name). These are places in the world that he discovered had populations that lived longer and healthier lives. One such place is in Okinawa, Japan. In Okinawa the average life expectancy for males is 84 and for females is 90. Consider that in America, the average life expectancy for males is 75 and for females is 80/81, it seems that these folks might be onto something.

One of the principles that the Okinawa population practices (especially the elders) is to say, “hara hachi bu” before each meal. The expression reminds them to eat until they are 80% full. The point is to not starve themselves but to re-frame the way they look at food. In America, we say we eat until we are full. In Okinawa they say they eat until they are no longer hungry. While both actions provide needed nutrients, the Okinawa philosophy is slightly different: food consumption is not to be maximized but rather “wiggle” room. They utilize three simple rules with eating: they eat slowly (allows the brain to register when they are no longer hungry), they focus on the food (an enjoyment and mindfulness of what they are eating alongside with whom they are dining), and they use smaller plates.

The idea of the 80/20 principle for anything in life has me wondering if that rule allows for accomplishment or completeness. For it seems by definition anything 80%, will never be 100% complete.

Yet, I also think of the Sabbath: 6/7 days work and 1/7 rest: 85.7% work and 14/3% rest within a week. A God-devised system of roughly 80/20. Part of the purpose of Sabbath is that we, as humans need it. We are physically designed to need to rest and regroup- to not push the limits all the time, every time. I am thinking of Sabbath not in any legalistic way (one is forbidden to turn on a light switch because it is “work”), but rather as a practical concept.

It is the practice of sabbath living that strengthens our physical, mental and spiritual beings. We know that we need physical rest. Much as we try to be efficient with our schedules and lifestyles, we cannot change the fact that our physical bodies recover, re-generate and renew through rest and sleep. Even when we are awake, we need periods of time when our minds are “off” to allow our brains to be de-stimulated.

Sabbath living is also good for our faith. In practicing a Sabbath lifestyle, we will never be able to finish a full 7/7 week, and so we must believe and trust God that all will and can be complete during the 6/7 time. It is as if the incompleteness is the point of Sabbath: it is a system that forces one to let go of self-sufficiency and to allow God’s generosity/wiggle room to orchestrate our time.

It appears that 20% of what we do whether financially, scheduling or in our eating habits- the “giving away” of our time or money, the resting, or the refrain from eating until we are stuffed- are the causes that effects the 80% of our lives in better physical, mental and spiritual practices.

What about you? Do you pack your days so that you do not have any time for thought or reflection? Do you eat until you are stuffed? Have you ever practiced a sabbath? If so, what does it look like?

I am very intrigued by the 80/20 rule as it applies to my schedule. I am trying to have time each day that is my “sabbath” for rest and for wiggle room. Time for the unexpected. Time to be healthy. Time for God to work in my life. Time to enjoy being alive.

Enough

What is enough for you? “Enough-A quantity that satisfies”? Enough money? Enough material things? Clothes? Cars? Enough friends?

What does is mean to be generous? “Generous-Ample, abundant, not stingy”. Can one be generous only when one has enough?

Is being generous the same as sharing? “Share- to divide and distribute in portions.”

My nephew tells the story of when he was visiting an under-developed nation. He was being shown around to different mission projects by one of the local pastors and a guide. Andrew had been advised to bring snacks along with him during the day as the availability of food, namely food that would agree with a westerner's stomach, was slim.

He brought out his little baggy of pretzels and was going to eat. He turned to the local pastor to see if the gentleman would want any. The man had never had pretzels. He was as poor as the people they were visiting.

My nephew goes on to say that without a moment’s hesitation the local pastor turned to the guide traveling with them and immediately offered him some pretzels.

As Andrew commented, what a testimony of generosity from someone who did not have much. Certainly from someone who didn’t have “enough”. The man’s first thought was to share, to divide and distribute his portion.

When I look at the natural world I see a system that is designed for sharing and generosity. Oh sure, there is the survival of the fittest and the “dog eat dog” world. The animal kingdom can be quite brutal. But I am thinking more of the plants and the growing world that sustains us. Take my marigolds- one little flower contains dozens of seeds. I saved some from last year and am now seeing the growth of multiple flowers. My hydrangeas are bursting with blooms just beckoning to be shared.

Currently we are living in the epicenter of the Cicada “invasion”. It is an unbelievable testament to the mystery of God’s incredible design. These strange, alien-looking critters only come to the surface every seventeen years and are short-lived. Their sole purpose is to continue the cicada line by surfacing, mating and then dying. The next generation lives and grows in the earth until the next seventeen years and the cycle begins again. Why we may ask? Who knows? But these critters aerate the soil, provide an abundant food source for birds and the like, and their composting bodies provide organic matter. Their abundance and “generosity” in the natural world provides more than enough. Supposedly there are 1.4 million cicadas per acre. If you lived at our home you would believe it- the sound of all of them vying for mates is deafening.

When I see the natural abundance around me I realize that with God, there is always enough. Perhaps that is what that local pastor knew when he shared his pretzels with his fellow guide.

What about you? What is your take on “enough” and sharing? Do you know people who are extremely generous? Time? Talent? Resources? Those whose first thought is to share?

My prayer is that when I turn to those around me, may my first reaction be to share. After all, with God, there is always enough.

Blessing of Kindness

The power of kindness can go a long way. Yet it seems as if our society gravitates towards the path of unkindness : cruel words, destructive behavior, disregard of others and harmful actions. While I am sure we can chalk it up to original sin, after a while we cannot keep abdicating our duties as human beings with that excuse. Science has shown that kindness is good for our health. When one is kind, it releases oxytocin, a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter. It produces the “feel good” sensation. Kindness elevates oxytocin levels. The increased levels decreases stress and anxiety and can help build trust and overall psychological stability. We are wired to care for one another, help one another, and to live together in harmony. While our nature might be to harm and pull apart, we were originally made to be together.

What does kindness mean to you? Can you define it? In some ways, it is one of those words/concepts that is defined by examples and expressions: milk of human kindness; kindness of strangers; random acts of kindness; out of the kindness of one’s heart; to kill one with kindness. While we may not be able to define it we can state like Justice Potter’s Stewarts infamous quote, “I know it when I see it.”

According to dictionary.cambridge.org, kindness means: the quality of being generous, helpful, and caring about other people, or an act showing this quality. Kindness synonyms are affection, gentleness, tenderness, goodwill, or concern. Being considerate implies being kind and thoughtful. In the Christian tradition it is considered a fruit of the Spirit- meaning that it is a by-product and example of God/Holy Spirit working in one’s life. While God has made us in His image (male/female) and therefore we have kindness in our DNA, our broken world has prevented us from exhibiting kindness all the time. We need God’s help.

I was struck with the image a dear friend sent to me: Yo-Yo Ma playing his cello during his fifteen-minute post-vaccine wait. While other people might bring a book or magazine while they wait, he brought his cello. What a generous and kind thing to do- providing some comfort and uplifting music and turning a mundane, potentially anxiety producing experience to one of calm and peace. Beautiful music can uplift the hearers to a different mental state. Mr. Ma didn’t have to do that. He could’ve just waited quietly, reading a book or checking his phone. He could’ve been in his own private, isolated zone and no one would’ve thought poorly of him. Yet, he chose to be generous with his talents and to share them with others.

Kindness is contagious. When we hear, see or witness others’ kind treatment of people, we can be inspired to continue that train of thought and action. No wonder we all smile and feel good when we encounter kindness. All those feel good hormones being released. In honor of kindness and gifts- I offer you the following words that I find inspiring:

Kindness is selfless, compassionate, and merciful; its greatest power revealed in practice to our enemies and amongst the least of these. Love your neighbor; show kindness to EVERYONE. —— www.geneva.com

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. —-Audrey Hepburn

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. —-Lao Tzu

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ` ——Ralph Waldo Emerson

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. —-Aesop

What about you? Have you witnessed kindness recently? What was it? Did you receive it? Did you offer it to someone else? How can you add a little kindness into your life? Into the lives of family, friends, neighbors or strangers? How can you use a talent or gift to bless others today?

• Find out more on how to practice kindness: www.randomactsofkindness.org

Heart Transplant

There was a heartwarming story (no pun intended) a couple of weeks ago in the wedding section of The New York Times. Ten years earlier, the bride had lost her father due to a fatal mugging (a sixteen year old shot him in the head).  The family of the deceased made the decision for organ donation.  The recipient, a gentleman close to the deceased father's age sent a note of gratitude to the family.  Over the years there was shared correspondence.  

When the wedding plans were made, there was discussion over who would walk the bride down the aisle. At the fiances suggestion, the bride asked the heart recipient. So, the gentleman who received the bride's father's heart walked her down the aisle. As the bride says a piece of her dad was with her. 

What a beautiful story and a generous gesture on both family parts; for the one who gave the heart away through organ donation and the other who returned it through an intimate gesture. 

What has touched me is the thought of our inter-connectedness with one another.  In this story there is an actual tangible connection and reminds us that we are connected to one another in some way.  With all our modern medicine and research there are still some things that cannot be duplicated and can only be shared. Organ donation, organ transplantation and even blood, platelets and bone marrow donation are still human based. For some it is an easy, relatively non-invasive thing to do and for others a final gesture of generosity.  It is a spectrum of personal and sacrificial sharing.  And it is necessary. 

I just cannot think of more poignant examples of why we need one another than to see a row of business suits sitting in chairs being connected to tubing for a corporate blood drive. Or the surgical blue hat askew on the head of a "stranger" being wheeled down for a bone marrow harvest to give to a child lying in expectation in the hospital ward above. Or the squeezing of hands between a father and daughter before one is wheeled into an operating room to have her kidney removed while the other is wheeled into an adjoining operating room to be prepped for the receiving. 

What about you?  Are you an organ donor?  Does it say so on your license?  Does your family know?  Do you donate blood?  If you are not able, have you ever helped at a blood donor drive?  Have you ever thought about being on a bone marrow registry?  

Below are some links to sites that maintain lists of donors as well as provide information. 

Click here to sign up to be an organ donor.

Click here to sign up to be a bone marrow donor.

Click here to sign up to be a blood donor.

The Power of One

This past week I attended a lecture which featured the Executive Director  of the Catholic Charities of Baltimore.  It was eye-opening regarding the needs of our community but it was more inspirational regarding the kindness of others.

Once again I am struck with the goodness of people.  Yes, I know that overall we are sinful creatures but I cannot help but think that we are also longing to be the people that God has called us to be. We are waiting for opportunities to be effective.  There are so many people who are generous with their time, talents and money.  The stories in the Catholic Charities are not unique to them.  I hear them time and time again from so many wonderful non-profit organizations.    

Interestingly that this week  the story of the loaves and fishes was in my daily Bible read. As the story goes, the day was late, evening was coming and the large crowd that had gathered throughout the day to hear Jesus preach were still there.   It was time for people to eat but as they had gathered in a remote place there were no fast food joints, no take-away places, no ready made food anywhere.  The only thing available was the donation of five loaves and two fishes from a boy whose mother probably wanted to ensure that her son had food for his day out.  The boy readily shared what little he had with the disciples. Jesus took that small amount, blessed it and it became large- adequate to feed the thousands of attendees with even twelve baskets of left-overs.  

Little becomes much when we are willing to share what we have with others. The theme for the Catholic Charities video is the power of one.  It refers to the story of the young girl moving stranded starfish one by one back to the sea.  An old man watches her for a while and says, "Little girl, why are you going to such trouble to move the starfish.  There are so many of them, what difference can you make?"  The little girl didn't reply right away as she was in the middle of returning one starfish to the sea.  When she had finished, she turned to the old man, "Well, I made a difference to that one." 

What difference can we make to those around us?  To our family, our friends, our neighbors,  or the stranger down the street?  I know many times I wonder what do I have to offer?  I am not rich, nor influential, nor talented, but I have a willing and generally compassionate heart.  I think that one of the reasons community however you want to define it, is so important is that through our collective gathering of resources and wills we can produce change and make a difference to others.  One person's small portion might not affect any large amount of change but when all the portions are put together much can happen.  And that willingness of heart of one person can affect others and their willingness to help.  Creating positive "peer pressure" so to speak.  For when one person does something it can encourage others to think, "Gosh, if he can do that, I can certainly do that as well." 

What difference can I make? I can only offer my small "loaves and fishes" portion and believe that in the hands of the Master, little will become much in the lives of others. The power of one- multiplied.