Sick Day/Snow Day/ Sabbath

Three weeks ago I woke up with a head cold. You know the type: eyes are sore and feel heavy, headache, congestion with intermittent nasal drainage followed by trickling-down the back of the throat, guaranteed to cause fits of eye-watering coughing in which you think you will cough out part of your brain and lungs. Wasn’t the flu and it wasn’t covid. Just the old-fashioned head cold.

So, I cancelled/postponed any in-person meetings/events, drank lots of fluids, and rested. I had to take a sick day (actually a bunch of sick days until I was reasonably “normal”.)

While I find being under the weather incredibly annoying, secretly it was kind of nice to have an excuse to not be so busy. Dare I say, it reminded me a little of the pandemic and those open-ended days.

Of course, during the pandemic, I was feeling healthy and so, feeling a little cooped up. For most of the cold week, I wasn’t feeling like doing anything: didn’t want to read, or watch any movies, or even sleep.

The tree outside our front windows.

On Monday, we had a doozy of a blizzard in my neck of the woods. The governor banned all travel on Monday and Tuesday. Our street had one lane plowed (we are the emergency route) but all other streets around us have not been plowed as of this writing. Fortunately we have power and so it is another type of rest day.

But this feeling of having a “sick or snow day” intrigues me. Many years ago, in the employment parlance, they talked of a “mental health day”. Not sure if that is the correct term nowadays.

There is something to be said about having a mental health day- a day to clear one’s mind and to reset the pace of our living.

Of course, the Creator of the Universe- which includes the creation of each one of us- knew that we needed a regular “mental health day” which God called the Sabbath. Of course, Sabbath is different from just taking a day off, in that there is a spiritual element to it. The fact that we become, “short-changed” each week of a productive day is one of faith: We rely on God’s time not our own. Just like God’s economy of money, in God’s economy of time, when we give to God first, miraculously, all our needs, demands and responsibilities are met.

According to the Mayo Clinic, everyone would do well to have a mental health day, before any burnout or “sickness” really occurs. It is a day to recharge but not necessarily to just do nothing- or to sit or lie in bed all day (though, I imagine for some, having a day or part of a day like that would be a luxury and well received.) The Mayo Clinic suggests the following: *

  • Unplug social media

  • Review Goals

  • Be creative

  • Get physical

  • Spend time outdoors

What about you? Have you ever taken a mental health day? If so, what was happening for you to do so? Or, do you keep going until something, like a cold knocks you out? Do you regularly practice a Sabbath? What does that look like for you?

During this Lenten time, some people take on a practice. I have been sending out daily words for us to contemplate. In addition, I would encourage us to practice a Sabbath on our Sundays: to take some time outdoors-noticing the beauty of the created world, to do something other than our routine on “normal” days and to look at our surroundings with a heart posture of gratitude.

*https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/recharge-with-planned-mental-health-day.

Lent

Today is the beginning of Lent- the forty days prior to Easter, not including Sundays. Not growing up with a liturgical background, Lent really didn’t have any specific meaning to me. I remember my neighborhood playmate who, being Catholic, “gave up” something for Lent. Usually chocolate, sugar or something of that nature. It baffled me, “You mean you can’t have this cookie?” I would ask Kathy. I was grateful for being Protestant and therefore, didn’t have to do that.

In more recent years, I have become more interested in the liturgical calendar and the rationale behind the design. I see the symbolism, the mystical beauty and comfort of the liturgical rhythm. I see how it all fits together and is such a great teaching tool especially for those who are different types of learners.

Just yesterday, I received an email newsletter from a pastor that I sometimes read. She suggested that for Lent, instead of giving up an item, think about giving up an attitude, namely to give up despair or discouragement. She is encouraging people to notice the good around each one of us. And while social media may be a contributing factor towards our despair, she is encouraging others to use social media to spread goodness.

The idea is to notice something good every day during Lent and to share that positivity through social media.

One of my absolute favorite quotes.

Her only criteria is that it has to be something that you personally witnessed. It cannot be something that was reported on a social media page. For instance, she would not comment on the walk for peace monks because she has not personally seen them. But she would report on a positive conversation she had with her neighbor.

I like her idea and was thinking our little community could join in with this conversation or just encourage each other.

What I am proposing:

  • Each day in Lent I will post a picture with a word of encouragement. (If my technological skills work, the picture and word will be on: the blog-wellofencouragement.com, facebook.com/virginiaruth.author, instagram.com/virginiaruth010-@virginiaruth010)

  • I would encourage you to ponder that word and keep your eyes open for examples of it during the day.

  • Journal about the experience.

  • Write a comment, take a picture, share an anecdote about that word.

  • Share your thoughts either on the comment section here or on one of the other social media sites: facebook or instagram- include the hashtags: #40DaysLentenEncouragement, #40DaysofGoodShit. (I apologize for the language but that is the link for the pastor.)

  • If the word doesn’t speak to you that day, ponder Goerthe’s words:

“Every day one should at least hear one little song, read one good poem, see one fine painting and -- if at all possible -- speak a few sensible words.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

As we journey these 40 days together, may we experience Lent in a new and eye-opening way this year.

Adaptation

This year as it has in the past 25 years, the town of Mt. Olive, NC dropped a pickle from the Mt. Olive Fire Department Tower 23 to mark the ringing in of the new year. 2026 will mark the centennial of the Mt. Olive Pickle company which sponsors the drop.

The company was originally started when an immigrant from a nearby town noticed that the surplus of local cucumbers were going to waste. He and another friend came up with the idea of brining the cucumbers and then selling them to other pickling firms. While that plan did not take off, a group of local people saw potential in the idea and decided to start their own pickle company. Thirty-seven business men put in the capital for the company. They called it a “community proposition”. The two gentlemen who originally came up with the idea became the factory superintendent and the company salesman, respectively. 100 years later, the company is still privately owned and has become the #1 pickle brand in the US.

Making lemonade out of lemons. Or, pickles out of excess cucumbers.

I love to hear stories of imagination, adaptation, and finding another solution. Finding repurpose.

Such was the case for Play-Doh. Originally, it was a putty-like substance for cleaning wallpaper. In the days before WWII, wallpaper would attract dirt and soot from coal and wood stoves/heaters. The cleaning compound which was made by a soap company, could be rubbed over the walls to clean the soot. After the war, new, easier to clean vinyl-type wall paper was introduced. Simultaneously there was a move from coal stoves to oil and natural gas, which reduced interior soot. There wasn’t a need for the compound and the company almost went out of business. The nephew of the inventor of the cleaning substance was hired to help keep the business from bankruptcy. The nephew’s sister-in-law was a nursery school teacher who had read an article that the wallpaper substance provided good modeling clay for students. And so, the nephew pivoted the company into making a child’s toy with the sister-in-law’s inspiration for the use and new name, Play-Doh.

For those of you who grew up with the ubiquitous childhood modeling clay, remember the scent? Apparently the scent is so distinctive, in 2018 Hasbro (the toy company who now owns it) trademark registered the scent with the USPTO. It is described as “"combination of a sweet, slightly musky, vanilla-like fragrance, with slight overtones of cherry, and the natural smell of a salted, wheat-based dough.” Originally, it only came in an off-white color but shortly after marketing it to children, it was offered in blue, red and yellow. I remember upon first receiving Play-Doh for Christmas, (maybe I only received it once, but it seems to me it was always a stocking stuffer) keeping the colors separate for a little bit of time, but eventually I would have a massive ball of multicolor flecks and odd shades. There always seemed to be crusty dry pieces attached to the outside that never quite reintegrated with the rest of the mass.

Turns out, another childhood stocking stuffer was also a repurposed product- Silly Putty. Silly Putty was originally made to be an experimental rubber replacement. During WWII, America couldn’t access the rubber plants needed for tires, equipment, etc. Scientists were tasked with finding a replacement. While Silly Putty has a lot of rubber properties, it wasn’t quite the rubber replacement that was needed. Instead, it became marketed as a child’s toy, especially when it was advertised during the Howdy Dowdy Show.

It seems as if I have been lately hearing these types of stories of items that on first blush, appeared to be potential failures. For whatever reason, circumstances changed and the item wasn’t needed. Those people who invested in the items (not only financially, but time and resource-wise) could have given up. They could have decided that their past was wasted and that there was no hope for the future.

But someone was able to see the potential and adapt to the new reality.

It makes me wonder how adaptable am I? All of us at times either get ourselves into situations or have situations thrown at us that requires some adaptation. Situations that make what we are currently doing obsolete, irrelevant or not fully meeting new demands.

What about you? How adaptable are you to changes? Either in your life or in the world around you? Go with the flow? Dig your heels in? Find a new marketing strategy, like PlayDoh and Silly Putty? Turn an excess into a benefit, like Mt. Olive Pickles? When life gives you lemons, do you readily make lemonade? Or do you find yourself holding a rotting mess?

I would love to think that I make lemonade out of disappointment, hurt, or failures. That I have the hutzpah to keep going even when the going gets tough. But that can be quite hard. Especially when life throws us curves and difficulties. If we live long enough and with intentional empathy, we learn that no one goes through life without difficulties. Some people can adapt easily and others struggle.

According to various psychology articles, one can take that which we’ve negatively experienced and transform it into a positive future through what is called cognitive reappraisal. It is more than revisionist history. It is taking reality- based information and purposefully reframing the explanation of what happened in the past. It is in the reframing that we can find purpose for the past situation and can then, face the future.

According to Psychology Today, “Cognitive reappraisal—generating a positive, even absurdly incongruous, reinterpretation of a negative event— often underlies benign humor. And in fact, researchers find that the use of benign humor—pointing out the bright side of adversities—is good at both down-regulating negative emotion and amplifying positive emotion.

Below are some questions to think about when we are trying to repurpose our past and make cucumbers into pickles. Experts identify several questions you can ask yourself to stimulate a positive reappraisal for negative situations:

  • Are you engaging in some form of cognitive distortion, such as catastrophizing?

  • What is the evidence supporting your automatic appraisal of the situation?

  • Are any positive outcomes possible from the situation?

  • Are you grateful for any aspect of the situation?

  • In what ways are you better off than before the situation occurred?

  • What did you learn from the experience?

I don’t know about you, but I know so many people who are feeling discouraged- that their lives have not turned out the way they planned and/or thought. They are discouraged in the macro (world) and micro (individual) nature of life. For me, I am grateful for the Sovereign God who controls both the macro and micro in the world. I look at the questions of cognitive reappraisal and also ask, “What is True, what is Good, what is Honorable, what is Pure, what is Lovely? What in this situation do I know is of God? What is God teaching me in the situation?

If anyone is in the repurpose/adaptation business, it is God. God can take any of our problems, excesses, outdated, unused or worn situations and make them new.

Organize (D)

Word of the Year.

I am sure that you have seen and heard of those who have one word that represents their goal for the year. I have written about it in the past. It is an interesting concept. On one hand, it does help keep one focused on a goal or reflection. Yet, on the other hand, it can limit the scope of possibilities for the year.

Sometimes, choosing these words take a long time of reflection. One might not even be able to choose a word for the year until March. Other times, the word is constantly showing up in one’s life- as if the cosmos has already decided for you.

For me, the word this year is “organize(d)”. Seems as if that word is popping up all around me.

Just recently, we have a neighbor who said that while his mother and sister were visiting, they were critiquing his cabinets and telling him that he had to “get organized” before the birth of his son. From what I have seen, this friend is quite organized but it made me wonder about our home. Perhaps the frustration that I have been feeling recently, is due to the fact that I cannot find anything where I “think” it is located.

Lest you think otherwise, this is NOT how our cupboards look but it is how they seem to me when I am trying to find something.

Looking at our basement, I realize that we need to “get organized”. We have lived in our current home for three years. Once the initial renovations were completed, we put away all the items from our numerous cardboard boxes. At that stage of the move, we just wanted the boxes emptied and the items behind closed doors. “We’ll sort and arrange those things later,” as we pushed the bulging closet doors with our hip.

Well, later has come. We need to get organized!

I have been thinking about that word: organize(d).

The Cambridge Dictionary defines organize (or organise- UK spelling): to do or arrange things, plans, ideas, etc., according to a particular system so that they can be used or understood easily.

What I like about the word “organize” is that it is a verb, and that when acted upon, items or ideas can be easily grasped- physically or intellectually. I think of how much time I waste and the frustration of not knowing where some item is. Or, because of too much “stuff” in the way, I do not want to go through the cupboard or closet to find the said item and so I do without or I have to purchase another. What a waste.

And so, this year, I am going “to get organized”. I am so tired of looking at my to-do list and not completing it. I write the item on the list and then keep transcribing it to another list. My failure to complete the list is partly because I do not have a plan in how I will accomplish the task and so I do not know how to begin.

But, as I have written before and as I have recognized, there is a balance between organization and some type of serendipity especially as it comes to schedules and accomplishing goals. I don’t want to be so regimented and so bound by an organizational structure that I cannot be spontaneous. Yet I cannot be completely spontaneous because then I will not accomplish anything.

In my recent Education for Ministry class at our church, we were discussing the word organize(d) and the word associations with it. “Structure” was the association that we came upon. We then looked at the pros/cons of the word structure. One of my classmates felt that structure is limiting to creativity. And while there is some truth to it, I find that structure- broadly based- aides and guides creativity. For how many of us, do better in editing/correcting a written document rather than starting with a blank page? It is much easier to write when one is given a topic or direction rather than carte blanche for anything.

And so, I need to “get organized” this year. I want to do so in our home. But I have also been thinking about “getting organized” with my health and physical care, in my maintenance of relationships and in my writing. The idea of getting organized is really about intentionality. What do I find important and how will I intentionally do what I need and want to do?

What about you? Do you have a word of the year? Do you want to get organized? How are you going to go about it? Is the organizing a physical one? A mental one? Or a spiritual one? The word “organize” also contains within it, the actions of planning and execution. Perhaps it is not so much the organizing that I need, but the planning and then, more importantly, the execution and completion of that plan.

How are you planning on living this year? How are you going to intentionally live into that plan?

What is the word that will help you achieve that?

Waiting

How are you with waiting?

One would think, we would be better at waiting the older we get. But it seems not so much. Well, at least in my experience of aging parents and, admittedly, my aging self. I seem to be more and more impatient with the “I don’t have time for this” mentality.

I remember in the last decade or so of their lives, my parents and in-laws could be impatient. It was strange because, except for my mother who always seemed a little impatient, the other three seemed to have the patience of Job.

Ask anyone who has had to transport an elderly loved one, and you will get an example of elderly impatience. The process of getting the elderly person in and out of the passenger seat, especially if the elderly person has a walker, rollator, wheelchair or any type of mobility aids, should be the new Olympic sport: one has to park the car; unhook one’s seat belt, double checking that one has pocketed the car keys (getting locked out of the car by a happy-button-pushing passenger does not make for a pleasant experience); run to the back of the vehicle; open the trunk and remove said medical assistive device; unfold and ensure that it is properly set up; wheel it to the passenger side of the car; open door, maneuvering the device in just the right place; lock the wheels (a crucial step- trust me), reach over to unhook elderly person from their seat belt. Then immediately change one’s body movements-slow down your actions (if not, your anxiety will transfer to the situation and the elderly person) and gently help them swing their legs over the side of the car ledge (protecting their head from hitting the top of the door frame) in order to have them stand and transfer to the chair or to place their hands on walker, ready to walk to the entrance of the doctor’s office or store.

This is the ideal set-up when the elderly person sits in the seat waiting for you to open the car door and help them unhook the seat belt.

What generally happens is that the elderly person starts to feel for the door handle as you are turning into the parking spot in order to open the passenger car door as soon as the car stops. “Just wait and I’ll be there to open the door for you in a sec.” you request in a gentle voice. Most times the request goes in one ear and out the other (or maybe just not “heard” at all.) Which then requires you to move through the process at double speed all the time requesting, “just wait, please” until your voice becomes an Ethel Merman bellow, “HOLD ON.”

It always amazed me that the same person who would take for-ev-er to walk from his room in the assisted living wing to the dining room less than thirty feet distance (I would trip over my feet trying to slow down my stride) could be out of the car with feet dangling or upper body dangling (if he forgot to unhook the seat belt) in a matter of seconds.

I kind of wonder- is this another sign of the circle of life or at least the bell curve of life? We start out as impatient infants and we end up as impatient elders with an apex of seemingly rationality in our adult years. There is an interesting 2024 study archived in the National Library of Medicine that seems to conclude that older adults, more so than younger adults are more susceptible to be influenced by the impulse of others. Of course, the researchers note that there are other studies that show quite the opposite. Regardless, it made me think of both my mother and mother-in-law. Both women were strong individuals with strong opinions and were never swayed by others’ opinions. And yet, in their old age, they were influenced by what the other women were doing, wearing, saying in their respective retirement communities. They were impatient to have those experiences. Many a time, I found myself taking one of the parents on an expedition because they had to do something that they had heard the others talking about. I have fond memories of taking my ninety-two year old mother-in-law jeans shopping. She got it in her head, after seeing some of the other residents wearing jeans, to purchase a pair for herself.

In some ways, why not be impulsive and somewhat rash? Time is not on one’s side.

Although, it is not just the young and elderly who are impatient. Most of modern society are more and more impatient and do not want to wait. We have devised ways around the waiting (pay for the express lane or fast pass lines) or ways to be “entertained” while we wait (short videos on Tik-tok/Facebook, etc.) We can blame our smart phones, technology, and social media outlets for causing our impatience and distraction but we seem to not be able to get out of the cycle. The truth is, we have let those tools rule our lives or at least a good part of our days.

Many years ago I went to a talk at our church. The speaker was discussing violence and television shows and the effect on children. There was concern about what to do about it since all the studies concluded that the violence on the television wasn’t good. The response- do more studies. I came home and said to my husband- I don’t think we need more studies. It seemed simple to me- just turn off the telly. Don’t watch the violent shows.

I feel the same way with our ever quickening technologies- they keep pushing us to think, react, and make decisions faster and faster, which doesn’t seem like a sustainable long term plan. Of course, there are situations where the new technology is a God-send to people. But the overall, day-to-day experience is not good in the long run- physically, emotionally, mentally even spiritually. While the modern technology has connected us globally, it also has divided us more-a modern tower of Babel.

This is the Advent season, the season of waiting. Waiting expectantly for the birth of the Messiah- the One to save us from sin and oppression. For those who follow Jesus- we know the story, we know the outcome and we know why we wait. But do we know how?

Do we wait with wonder and awe- that the God of the universe cares so deeply about each one of us, that He came to earth and dwelt among us? To rescue us from sin and death, if only we believe? How do we respond to that? Do we share that Good News with others? Do we wait expectantly for peace and joy, that can only come from God? Is there a place for impatience? Should we be impatient and demanding that justice be done? For those who are lost, to be found? For those who are hungry, to be fed? For those who are marginalized, to belong?

As our priest has challenged us this Advent season- is God waiting for us? During this Advent season, is God waiting and expecting more from us? To be more loving, more kind, more gentle, more merciful? Is God waiting for us to be more patient- with ourselves, our families, our neighbors, even our enemies?

So, how are you at waiting? Are you waiting for God to do something in your life? Are you waiting for a Savior? Is God waiting for you?

Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, Start All Over Again...

Well. I had my 15 minutes of shame. Actually it wasn’t that bad just disappointing.

I did have my meeting with a person in acquisitions for a publishing house regarding my book proposal. While I prepared as best I could, in essence it was a “don’t call us, we’ll call you” type of meeting.

Yes. I did learn some things with this process and yes, I will continue on with the manuscript and yes, I will try and get it in the hands of some other publisher. But for now I feel kind of bummed, embarrassed and silly.

Have you ever tried for something and been disappointed with the outcome? Stumbled, fallen, not made the mark? You get up and look around, hoping no one saw the tumble.

Of course, I am aware of the people who have stumbled, fallen, not made the mark and then, after persevering for a while, sometimes years, things fall into place and they have their dreams realized. The writers who have tons of rejection notices to their name, only to have someone pick up their manuscript and now they are best-selling authors. Or the film script that gets rejected for years only to finally be picked up and becomes a blockbuster, Oscar winning film.

But I also think of those creatives who keep plugging along with their writing, music, painting, acting, film making and never get picked up. Yet they keep going. Doing it for the love of creating. Many times what they create is just as good, even better than what is in the “successful” realm. Their work may not touch millions but they may touch the one in a million person who needs to hear what they have to say.

It is an interesting place to be- the soul shaped desire to create just for creating itself. Knowing that if one doesn’t do any creating, one’s soul is chipped away, like water dripping on a stone- eventually holes will form and the stone changes shape. To stay “in shape”, to stay sane; therefore, one needs to create.

But, one also creates for others- to be seen and heard and experienced. If one is fortunate enough, to change the world’s perspective for the good through the art of creation. In order to do so, the created work has to be out there for all to see. Keeping it under a bushel doesn’t help anyone.

And so, I will press on. But there are no words at this point when one is feeling disappointed.

My experience has me thinking-what is the best way to be with others when they are disappointed? Telling platitudes and expressions or examples of others having gone through the same situation, really doesn’t help. There is a period of wallowing in self-pity that I think we go through- (Well, at least for me- that shows you how shallow I am!)

I have found that there are two things that help me navigate disappointment: working on some household project and helping someone else. The former helps me to process what has taken place all the while doing some mindless task. The latter helps me to put my disappointment into perspective. So while I am wallowing, I feel that I have at least accomplished something.

What about you? Any disappointments lately? How did you navigate the situation? Do you have a ritual or routine that helps you? What do you do to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again?

Here is the wonderful Diana Krall singing a rendition of the Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields song. Is Ms. Krall’s husband- Elvis Costello-on the guitar behind her? https://youtu.be/_p_JxDGVqXg.

Here’s the segment from the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers film, Swing Time that Kern and Fields created for the 1936 film: Click here. Enjoy. It is hard to stay wallowing when Fred and Ginger kick up their heels.