52 (Give or Take) Ideas

How are you doing with your plans for 2016?  As we settle into the year I have found that some things I was so gung-ho on doing have fallen by the wayside. (My idea of running during lunchtime has stopped- somewhat due to the blizzard but any excuse is always welcomed!)  I find that I need to have smaller more frequent goals, ones that I can easily achieve which in turn become the foundation for healthy change and healthy living.

So in that spirit I offer to you 52 ideas (an idea a week) -some new and some old.  All are reminders that small changes can lead to heathy living. As we are starting in February, there are 5 extra items to mix and match throughout the year. If you want, copy and print out the list and keep in your calendar or on your refrigerator as a weekly reminder. Hopefully this list will incentivize you to work on something small each week. If not those listed below than perhaps these suggestions might spark some other idea for you:

  1. Eliminate drinking soda this week
  2. Incorporate one new veggie or fruit into your diet
  3. Plan your meals for the week
  4. Use a smaller size plate for your dinner this week (don't go back for seconds or thirds) 
  5. Drink 8 x 8oz glasses of water each day.  If you need some flavor, add slice of orange, lemon, lime or a splash of juice
  6. Eliminate desserts this week
  7. Sit down for your entire dinner this week.  Set the table, light a candle and dine.  Whether by yourself or with your family- enjoy not rushing through dinner.
  8. Start lettuce seeds, spinach seeds or other greens indoors
  9. Walk for ten more minutes each day (or start walking ten minutes) 
  10. Sign up for an exercise class
  11. Get up and move away from your desk (try marching in place for a minute) every 60 minutes
  12. Do sit ups during commercial breaks
  13. Get to bed earlier this week (by an hour or half-hour)
  14. Take your daily shower before going to bed (give yourself a little extra time in the morning as well as wash away any daily allergens)
  15. Remove electronic devices from the bedroom (put your cell phone, laptop in another room)
  16. Eliminate alcohol this week (no glass of wine with dinner, beer or nightcap)
  17. Limit caffeine this week- switch one of your cups of joe to herbal tea
  18. Visit your local library
  19. Read 1 book this week instead of watching TV
  20. Complete a crossword puzzle (or one or two levels of a word game app)
  21. Color in an adult coloring book (pick one up in a supermarket or craft store) 
  22. Say no to requests this week (say you are temporarily on hiatus)
  23. Write out goals for the year (or the remainder of the year)
  24. Keep a bouquet of fresh flowers by your bed or on your desk this week
  25. Do something for a colleague- bring them a cup of coffee or tea, drop off a funny card on their desk
  26. Surprise a loved one with a favorite meal, meaningful note or "just because" gift
  27. Become an organ donor or a bone marrow donor or sign up to donate blood
  28. Write out a budget- include a savings plan
  29. Only spend $ on essentials this week- food, housing, transport to work, contribution to church/place of worship
  30. Donate to your favorite charity
  31. Go window shopping.  Create an outfit that appeals to you but do not purchase.
  32. Write out your will: include living will, power of attorney, etc. 
  33. Go through your coat closet- dry clean what needs it, eliminate unmatched gloves, unflattering hats, scarves never worn
  34. Sort through dresser drawers- do one drawer a night.  Eliminate ripped, stretched out, stained, non-fitting clothing
  35. Sort through kitchen drawers- one drawer a day.  Eliminate items that haven't been used or will probably never be used
  36. Go through garage and/or basement- get rid of things that  you haven’t used in a while or are broken or are unrealistic projects
  37. Plan for a yard sale- sell household items that no longer want/need.  Go in with the neighbors for a bigger turnout
  38. Get ready for your next day, the night before (clothes laid out, lunches packed, bags by the door)
  39. Go through linen closet- donate old towels and blankets to your local animal shelter
  40. Write in a gratitude journal each day
  41. Find a Bible study plan
  42. Commit to reading/listening to Bible each day
  43. Go to place of worship this week
  44. Pray for five minutes each day
  45. Find out information about volunteering in an area of interest
  46. Take a gift inventory- discover your strengths and abilities
  47. Plan for a retreat (commit to 1 hour or 1/2 a day or weekend)
  48. Write a note to a person who had an impact in your life- thank them for their love and support
  49. Plan out your funeral- any favorite hymns, songs, poems, Bible verses
  50. Practice random acts of kindness (hand out gift cards to a local coffee shop to road repair workers, trash collectors, rest room attendant)
  51. Do something nice for your neighbor- shovel their walk, mow their lawn, drop off a bouquet of garden flowers
  52. Sit outside for ten minutes- enjoy the sights and sounds of nature

January Office Project

I have had on my to-do list a fairly large project: redecorating our home office for my own use.   I have been putting it off because I didn't have a clear cut plan or vision in my mind.  Most of what I envisioned would be subject to physically moving the house and that is not an option.  It is because I am such a direct sunlight junkie.  I will move throughout the day following what little sunlight streams directly into our home. It is not that our home is completely dark, it is just that we do not have too many southern facing windows. 

For the past year I have been using a small writing desk in our bedroom.  It was positioned directly in front of our only southern facing window that provides the most light. Much as I loved soaking in the sun, I was becoming increasingly annoyed with having to spread out my papers on the bed and collect them each evening.  I needed a room of my own.

The logical choice was for me to use our family "office": a long-before-we-were-the-home-owners converted garage into a room that has bookshelves, desk, chairs, windows and housed our family computer. Years ago I painted (multiple, multiple times) the dark panelling in order to lighten it up. About ten years ago, we had removed the useless garage door and replaced it with a large window in the front. 

For some reason I was holding back embracing this space due to the sunlight issue.  The room is light just doesn't receive direct sunlight. Also I was having difficulty envisioning a work space.  I needed some inspiration. 

One thing I have found with projects- eventually I do them because to not do them causes too much angst. I was more tired of the daily clean up in the bedroom than the concern of the indirect sunlight.   Plus I became enamored with an eclectic, light, clean, somewhat French looking style and thought perhaps I could decorate this room in this vein.

I use the term decorating very loosely.  For someone who writes and sticks to her lists, I do not plan out creative projects.  I have never followed any type of garden plan, room plan or story board.   I kind of have an idea in my head of what I want the project to look like, but generally by the time I am finished, it has a morphed into something completely different.

The other thing, especially in decorating one has to make a decision as to what to purge and what new things need to be purchased.  I am always trying to work with what I already have- partly to be budget-friendly, partly to be environmentally-friendly and partly because I am too lazy and indecisive.  

So far I like how things have evolved.  I found two chairs at Goodwill.  They are called "Hollywood French Regency chairs" or that was what they were called when I checked with a Google search.  Very 1970's, with dark wood, "caned" sides and crushed light blue velvet fabric. (I thought I had taken a "before" picture but I must not have. Click her to see a similar chair)   

They were really inexpensive yet solid so I thought I would try chalk paint and the how-to-recover upholstery technique I had seen on youtube.  (I am more convinced than ever that those who make the videos leave out a crucial step.)  Of course, once I had removed the old upholstery and saw the remains, it looked nothing like any of the furniture from the videos. I had to make some alternative plans but it worked out. 

I used "Paris Grey" paint for the wood and "cane" parts and a zebra style bluish-grey fabric over the cushions.   I couldn't find any trim I liked (aesthetics + price) so the white trim is cut to size clothesline. With help from my ever patient husband, I was finally able to cover both chairs, move things around in the office and voila, I am enjoying my "new" digs.  

Office Manager: Our one dog likes the new arrangement.  He gets a prime location to check the comings and goings of the neighborhood- especially mail deliveries. 

Office Manager: Our one dog likes the new arrangement.  He gets a prime location to check the comings and goings of the neighborhood- especially mail deliveries. 

Do you have any projects on your to-do list?  Have you ever been inspired by a youtube video?  How did it work out?  Did you finish your project or was it abandoned?  What would it take to get your project done?

 For me, I was thinking too hard about the finished project.  Another thing I have noticed with the youtube presenters- they all seem to be willing to take risks.  It is an "oh, well" attitude: "Oh, well, if this doesn't work out, I 'll just go back to the drawing board."  I had to keep that in mind as I was, once again having to cut another section of the foam cushion to get it to fit.  I just let myself go with it.  Once I did, I finally got a vision and proceeded with my project.  

The Blizzard Blessings of 2016

Where were you during the blizzard of 2016?  Did your neck of the woods get any snow?  Even though our area got a significant covering, we were fortunate to be high and dry at home.  I have no idea how much snow we received. It was difficult to tell due to the snow drifts. Our Mini was almost completely covered except for the little "mini" ball on top of the antennae. 

Taken during the snowstorm.  Our Mini had only the "Mini" ball sticking out from its antennae.

Taken during the snowstorm.  Our Mini had only the "Mini" ball sticking out from its antennae.

Having to walk the dogs notwithstanding, the snow storm was a nice reprieve.  All the obligations and commitments I had this week have been cancelled or postponed due to the poor driving conditions, poor visibility at the intersections and the state of unplowed parking lots.  I feel like I have been given a secret stash of time. Without having those obligations, I can do what I need to do when what I want to do it. 

It made me realize that I definitely need to put more unscripted time into my schedule. These last couple of days have been an oasis.  I have had time to be productive:  finished redoing my office (I'll give a tour next blog), made two batches of soup, did some writing and took care of some of those items on the bottom of the to-do list.  

I also had time to "goof off": did some binge watching on Netflix (Noticed that Daphne's fashion in the beginning of the Frasier series- leggings, ballet slippers and long shirts- has come around again), went down many an internet rabbit hole of clicking onto pointless articles (Did I really need to know what Tom Cruise's kids look like?) and finished a great book- Julianna Baggott's Harriet Wolf's Seventh Book of Wonders. 

It made me realize that I definitely need to make time for a mini-blizzard; the feeling of sans obligations but without the white stuff.  Try as I might to keep a calendar relatively clear or at least not back to back with appointments, obligations have a way of wiggling back onto my schedule. 

Why is it that it takes a natural disaster to get my attention to slow down?  Once again during my Bible reading did this idea resonate.  I was reading in Exodus the story of Moses receiving the Ten Commandments.  The section of honoring a sabbath struck me; the idea of planning a routine of resting. Granted a blizzard and the stoppage of daily commitments is not a religious practice. Yet, this blizzard was a mini-sabbath from obligations for me.  

It was a blessing.

What about you?  If you were impacted by the storm, what did you do?  Were you relieved of obligations or did new ones evolve e.g. caring for school aged children, staying over at work, doing storm-related work? If you couldn't experience the freedom of responsibilities during the storm, could you plan a mini-blizzard? What would that look like for you?  

Everyone needs the blessing of a blizzard every once in a while.

 

 

Contact Lessons

How many of you wear contacts?  I wore them through college and early adulthood but stopped wearing them when our boys came along.  It was easier for me to put on and take off my glasses when getting up in the middle of the night or taking an afternoon nap.

I started back wearing contacts a couple of years ago.  I do prefer wearing them over glasses especially in playing tennis.  Though they do have their issues.  Inevitably I either drop a contact some where in the sink basin or I have difficulty taking it out of my eye.  Either way I find myself panicking.  I have learned that panic does not find the contact.  I have to take deep breaths and tell myself out loud- "Do not panic, you will find it." 

Makes me think of other times in life when I feel the panic rising: finishing a project by the deadline, getting to the appointment on time, paying the monthly bills.  I have to physically say, "breathe",  so that I will not panic.  Depending on the event or situation I will go so far as to start saying, "So what's the worst that can happen?"  I name it and so I can move on.

In my life as a contact wearer, I have experienced a worst case scenario.  In college after a long night of studying I thought I still had my contact in so I continued swiping my eye to get it out.  Only to discover, after a trip to the ER that there was no contact in and I had scratched my cornea. I had to wear a patch over my eye for a couple of days.  Of course the next day I had to help host an event on campus. I couldn't think of a creative enough story for my pirate visage and so had to respond to the question, "What happened to you?" with my  pathetic, can't handle my contacts story. 

Every time I start to panic, I remember that scenario, that I was able to "survive" relatively unscathed and remind myself that things will be okay. Thinking in these terms has helped me during client presentations, business meetings, writing proposals, and lost or noncompliant contacts. 

What about you?  What things cause you panic?  Do you think of the worst case scenario?  Have you lived through a worst case scenario?  What helps you stop the panic? 

General Recall

Our family loves flags.  We have a small flag pole attached to our deck and depending upon the season will fly a flag representative of what is happening in our world.  When the boys are home, their respective college flags wave. (Like the Queen in residence at Buckingham Palace) When the Scots were voting for independence, our St. Andrews Cross was seen and when we are in need of grace, we fly the General Recall flag.

Years ago my husband saw a collection of nautical racing flags at an old junk shop.  He debated purchasing them and in the end didn't, much to his regret over the years.  Last year I was in a nautical salvage shop and found a bunch of old flags.  I picked out one that I thought would look nice from our halyards.  Not knowing what it was, my husband informed me that it was the general recall flag used in sailing regattas.  "If so many boats are over early that the committee boat (monitoring the race) cannot detect them all, it raises the 'first substitute' or 'general recall' flag.  This abandons the start."  It is suggested that the committee boat try and fix the problem that caused the boats to be over the line early.  When ready for a new start, the committee boat will make 1 sound, lower the flag, wait one minute and proceed with a new start sequence. The race can begin again.

On days when we feel that we need a restart, we fly the flag.  It seems as if we are flying the flag more and more.

General Recall Flag

General Recall Flag

But that is not such a bad thing.  It reminds me to demonstrate grace:  Grace to myself, to my family and to others. 

I need a general recall when I am frustrated with my work.  I sometimes have to stop, assess what I am doing, make adjustments and then proceed.  Many times the new plan is much better than what I initially intended. 

I need a general recall when I am frustrated with a family member.  Most times it is not due to the member but due to me.  I need to stop, assess what I am doing (or how I am perceiving the situation), make adjustments (usually in my attitude) and then proceed.

I need a general recall when I am frustrated with others- whether those with whom I am working or those whom I pass on the street.  I need to stop and not be so quick to judge.  I need to remember to extend grace to them.  Perhaps they need a restart to their day?  To their life?

What about you?  Do you fly the general recall flag? If so, when?

We all need a restart every now and then. 

Tale of Two Candidates

In this past Sunday's New York Times there were two different articles, in two different sections talking about two different political candidates. Even though the point behind each article was different I was struck with an underlying commonality- civility and manners.

In the case of one of the candidates it appears that civility and manners are severely lacking. He says what he wants to say to whomever he feels is listening with no thought that his words might be hurtful, divisive and derisive.  There appears to be a growing segment of the population that thrives on this type of behavior.  It is if they have been waiting for someone to say without filters all the things that have been bothering them for years.  It is if they subscribed to the opposite wisdom of Thumper in Bambi,  "If you have something nasty to say, then say it." 

The other candidate, according to this article, is one who was raised on civility.  He was taught to be a gracious winner and loser, to be careful in his speech and to demonstrate some self-restraint in dealing with other people with whom he differs.  And, according to this article,  it is a dying virtue.   It is a point of view that is not seen as important to the voting public, rather it is seen as a source of weakness.

I am not particularly enamored with either candidate and am certainly not endorsing one candidate or the other but it did cause me pause.  Why are we so quick to think a braggart, shoot from the hips and no holds barred type of speaker is possessing a strength and virtue?  Why do we consider manners to be weak and passe?  And in thinking so, we need to rid this behavior from  society?

I wonder if it is our faceless society and nameless way of communicating  that has conditioned us to think that just because we don't see someone's face it is okay then to call them out, say negative comments and even say things that verge on the edge of hatred.  Certainly in this day and age if one is in the public light then one is fair game for receiving all sorts of vitriol.  If we have to look someone in the eye would we say that which what we do in the safety of anonymity? 

The thing is, the say-whatever mentality immediately breaks down any future communication and so each camp ends up inciting each other with the same rhetoric. It just encourages more bad behavior. "If you say those types of things about me, I will just retaliate in kind."  Eventually no one listens. Both parties end up extremely frustrated and so, when someone who is louder than everyone else speaks, it is seen as good because the words are expressed.  Yet those unfiltered words break down the communication and so the cycle continues and nothing is accomplished.  

It takes much more thought and effort to be civil and mannerly.  It is a strong person who can suppress his/her urge to "shut the other person down" in order to maintain an open dialogue.  It is a strong person who lays aside his/her desire to "stick it to the opponent" for the sake of living in human community.  It is the strong person who looks at the long term picture of working together rather than "winning" every little battle. 

I wonder about my own relationships and how I communicate?   Regrettably I can recall times when I spewed venomous pronouncements about someone not in my presence. Thankfully it was only in the presence of kin yet still the words were spoken, the poison was out in the air and with it, the potential to corrode the thinking of all who hear.  

I also know that it is hard to look someone in the eye and say words that the recipient might not want to hear.  Yet it is because I am looking into his/her eyes I am compelled to temper my tone and words.  I need to think before I speak, to reflect on the implications of what I say and how it will be received and to temper my words accordingly. Not a bad thing and much needed in this world.  

What about you?  Have you noticed the change in the speech of one to another?  Not only with our political candidates but in the day to day communications or in the internet communications?  How do you respond? 

Charles Dickens opens his novel, The Tale of Two Cities, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."  It seems like lately, especially during this political campaigning season, we are experiencing the best and worst of human behavior.  

I am choosing to focus on the best-  to try and to be kind, gracious, understanding, slow to speech, slow to anger, empathetic and loving in my dealings with one other- those seen and unseen.  Won't you join me?

Sisyphus Syndrome

Have you ever felt like Sisyphus?  In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was the incorrigible king of Corinth who was condemned to hard labor for all eternity.  His task was to roll a stone up a hill only to have it roll back down once he reached the summit and his energy was spent.  

Not that I am calling you incorrigible. Rather I wonder if you feel like Sisyphus as you go about your life. Like Sisyphus and his ever-needing-to-be-carried boulder, do you feel the heaviness of the burdens of responsibility coupled with the futility of repeating the same thing time and time again?  Do you feel like Sisyphus as your life repeats itself with worry, lack of sleep, too much to do in too short amount of time and with life situations and decisions spinning out of control?

Sisyphus by Titan, 1549.  Museo Nacional del Prado. This is a photograph of a faithful production of a 2-D work of art. 

Sisyphus by Titan, 1549.  Museo Nacional del Prado. This is a photograph of a faithful production of a 2-D work of art. 

There are many people whom I know and love who suffer from the Sisyphus syndrome.  The syndrome begins mildly by agreeing to carry a small responsibility such as a few volunteer days, a couple of social outings, membership in a group or class, a change in work schedule, an increase of job responsibilities, a commitment to assist friends or family.  Before one realizes it, one has come down with a full case of the Sisyphus syndrome;  extreme tiredness, exhaustion and feelings of futility due to the repeated carrying of boulders of responsibility which never seem to get placed or resolved.

I think all of us at one time feel the pressures of a heavy boulder/burden.  We carry it all by ourselves, up a steep hill only to watch it roll back down. Try and try as we might we can never get the boulder to stay in place.  Our burdens never seem to be lifted, if anything there appears to be more burdens to carry.  If we are not careful the boulder can smother us on its descent. 

What to do about it?  Is life a Sisyphus situation?  Can we ever break the cycle? Can we ever feel that we have shouldered our burdens and have now earned a place of reprieve or rest from that particular one?

I think it takes some soul searching and some answering of tough questions:

Do you want to continue life as you know it?  Just like the pattern of Sisyphus, life will continue as it always does.  That is one of the universal laws of motion: a body in motion stays in motion.  We will continue the path we have chosen unless we choose differently.  Do you want to stay on your current path?  For how long?  For this week?  For this month?  For this year?   For the next five or ten years?

How do you want things to be? We may truly want to be busy, to volunteer, to work, to have an active social life.  We may want to carry the boulders of responsibility. The question becomes what would be the ideal?  How many boulders can we carry?  When can we lay them down? What type of balance do you want in your life? 

How will you go about changing?   How will you go about moving towards the way you would like life to be?  Can you make some small changes in your life, e.g. only participate in one weekly group, that move you toward your ideal? 

  • Perhaps ridding yourself of the Sisyphus syndrome means that you have to make bigger changes.  If it is your job that is making you feel that life is futile, can you prepare for changing jobs?  Updating your resume? Finding out what other types of jobs are available? Taking classes or training that prepares you for a new position?
  • Perhaps it means you have to ask others to share the boulder/burden.  Delegate tasks. Ask for help. 
  • Perhaps it is saying no.  "No, I cannot volunteer on the PTA membership committee at this time."
  • Perhaps it is prioritizing for the next three months.  "I need to concentrate solely on x,y,z and cannot take on any other responsibilities."  Or it might be that there are things that you have to do but in order to do them, something else has to be let go.
  • Perhaps it is not taking on any new tasks until the latest project is complete. 

There is a quote that is misattributed to Einstein:  "Insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result."  Whether Einstein said it or something like it, it doesn't take a genius to know that repetitive worry, stress and feelings of futility will only lead to a life of misery.  I would encourage you to stop the madness and break free of Sisyphus syndrome. 

 

Encouraging Words

I am working my way through the book, The Fellowship: The Literary Lives of the the Inklings.  The book describes four gentlemen of the UK literary society known as The Inklings.  There were others who belonged but these four are the crux: J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Owen Barfield, Charles Williams.  The book gives a brief biography of each but spends most of the time describing their influence and encouragement of each other and in the works that they penned.   As we were in Oxford, UK this past summer and saw the Eagle and Child pub (where the society convened)  and Magdalen College ( where C.S. Lewis had rooms), I find it most interesting. 

inklings book.jpg

One little anecdote tucked in the Tolkien "biography" chapter caught my attention.  J.R.R. Tolkien had a mentor, Joseph Wright. Professor Wright had no formal education, was raised in a home that was poverty stricken at best (mother a charwoman and father a miner who drank himself to death) yet Joseph Wright became one the most literate and educated individuals in late nineteenth, early twentieth century England.  All due to the fact that a fellow mill worker at his place of employment decided to teach an fifteen year old boy how to read and write.  From that simple act of teaching him to read the Bible and The Pilgrim's Progress, Joseph went on to teach himself Latin, French, German and then Welsh, Greek. Lithuanian, Anglo-Saxon, Old Saxon, Old Bulgarian and Old High Greek.  Eventually he ended up in Oxford as professor of comparative philology (the branch of knowledge that deals with the structure, historical development, and relationships of a language or languages) and earning the distinction of England's leading philologist. 

Amazing.  You wonder about the nurture versus nature theory.  In Joseph Wright's case you think he didn't have either.  Certainly not a nurturing upbringing. He had to go to work in the hellish textile mills at age seven.  And certainly not having a great gene pool.  Not that there is anything wrong with his parents occupations. However, when you think of prenatal care, food and nutrients for the developing body and mind, I don't imagine that he received much on that score either. 

It makes me wonder, who in our midst is like Joseph Wright- a individual if given an opportunity could blossom?  Who just needs the keys to unleashing a brilliant mind?  Or to be taught some basic skill which leads to uncovering something of significance? 

Are there people we see everyday- the convenient store clerk, the taxi driver, the wait staff at the local coffee shop, the housekeeping staff at the office, the homeless person on the corner- who could benefit from a leg up?  People, who would blossom if someone took a chance in getting to know them, found out what makes them tick and uncovered their needs? People, through no fault of their own, who happened  to be born into a situation that doesn't provide any opportunity. 

I even wonder about the people I don't normally see- ex-offenders, gang members, drug addicts, refugees, or people born into extreme poverty.  What would happen if those of us who have been given much opportunity helped those who were given little opportunities?

In Joseph Wright's case it was illiteracy.  It seems like such an Edwardian social ill, but it still is around today.  Joseph Wright's story has given me new eyes as I go through my day and encounter various people.  I wonder whom can I encourage and possibly inspire through my words?

What about you?  Whom do you encounter each day that might need a leg up, an opportunity or an encouraging word? 

 

No Longer Made

For those of you who have read this blog for the past four years, you can probably guess that my husband and I are "purists"- meaning we do a lot of things the "old fashioned" way: we prefer wooden windows over vinyl, hand push mowers versus gasoline engines, french press coffee over Keurig, less gadgetry and more reliance on doing it ourselves.  "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." 

 Not that we are against change or finding a new way to do something.   But we deplore change for change's sake, especially when it comes to equipment that is serving its purpose fine as it is. We like quality things and we keep them around a long time.  

Unfortunately even with the best care, things wear out and need repairing or replacement parts.  Lately it seems that anything we want to repair no longer has replacement parts.  "Too old" is the refrain from the twelve year old behind the counter.  Or, to be more exact and I quote:  "Uh, like, we don't have that part.  It is so old, (sniff) like twenty years." 

Twenty years?  Too old? Oh, right.  Forgot.  That would be before you were born.  Surely, twenty years is not too old for a bicycle part?  (One of the latest repair projects) We are not talking a high tech material made bike from the Tour de France.

How about a vacuum cleaner?  Surely, they haven't changed the design too much.  (Dyson and their ads, notwithstanding) Suck up the dust and dirt through a hose.  Store it in a bag or container.  Wherever I go- vacation, business trips or weekly shopping, I am always checking for Eureka Style H (+ paper filter) vacuum bags.  I have purchased them in MD, NJ, MA, NC, VA- wherever I can find them.   Today, I checked the Eureka manufacturer's website. One would think, surely of anybody, they would carry some.  Alas, they have the bags but not the filters.

Frustrated?  You betcha. I was just trying to get vacuum cleaner bags + filters for our small canister vacuum. I know it is old, but it works fine.  It stores perfectly in our upstairs linen closet and is easy to maneuver around the house.  But, it won't work without bags and filters.

I haven't even begun to write about our frustration with the cell phones and the "upgrades".  I am sure that there is some technological reason for the updates and new phone versions.  However, it appears to me that the only thing new is the packaging- bigger or thinner phone or different games or configuration for the apps placement on the home screen.

Well, I am sure there are loads of pet peeves, annoyances and scenarios you can describe.  If you want to add your topics of frustrations in the comment section, please do.  Sometimes writing about it gets the negative vibes out of our system.  I know it does for me. 

What can we do about it?  In some ways, nothing.  

But I do think we can stick to our guns and demand quality and service not just cheap quantity.  It seems so wasteful and definitely not ecologically sound to have to throw something out, not because it isn't working but because one cannot find the replacement bags. Or to dispose a perfectly fine phone just because it is perceived to be too slow. 

We can also examine ourselves and our habits. I am reminded that I need to reevaluate the things in my possession. As I am de-cluttering and reorganizing our basement I am looking at things with these questions in mind:  Is it broken?  Can it be fixed?  Can I reuse in another way or repurpose for something else?  Have I used it recently?  Will I use it again?  Can someone else benefit from it?  Can it be recycled?  If no to these questions then out it goes having had a long life in our household. 

Of course the irony to my initial tirade- guess where we finally found the missing parts?  The internet- that modern technology that connects the world.  In some ways it has become the repository for those things "no longer made". Some change is not too bad.

 

There's An App For That

In a past Sunday's New York Times there was an article about one of the latest apps- the break-up app.  Apparently the end of the year is one of the biggest times for relationship break ups.  Guess it is the idea of out with the old, in with the new.

Not surprising that there is an app for dealing with difficulty in a relationship.  There appears to be an app for any situation or predicament you might encounter. 

In looking at a web site Statistica it claims that as of the summer 2015, over 100 Billion Apps were downloaded from the Apple store.  The popular categories in descending order:  games; business, education, lifestyle, entertainment, utilities, travel, books, health and fitness, music, productivity, food and drink, sports, photo and video, finance, news, reference, social networking, medical, navigation.

Over the holidays we were with family which included a newborn.  I was amazed to learn that there are apps for parents to help with sleeping (choose the "white noise" e.g. hairdryer).  In looking further, I found apps for potty training, behavior modification, reward charts, teaching children how to use money or make change or use an ATM. There is even a parenting app trend report- an app that lets you know the latest and best parenting apps. 

Besides the break up app noted in the Times, there are other relationship type apps: apps to get you through break ups, apps to maintain a healthy marriage, apps for dealing with a long-distance relationship, apps to mend a broken heart, apps for saving you from an abusive relationship. 

I am not against apps or the information that they impart.  Why not use the expertise of someone else? If it can be given to us via our smart phone, all the better. 

I just wonder what would happen if we cultivated conversation, civility and manners back into our lives?   It seems to me that many of the relationship issues wouldn't exist if we thought of others before ourselves. What would happen if we practiced doing unto others as we would want done to us? If we remembered our "please, thank you's, or after you" would we need any of the relationship apps?  I wonder what would happen if as a matter of course, everyone held a door for someone else?  I bet there's an app for that.

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Wishful Thinking

This year, we spent a lovely New Year's Eve with dear friends:  the food delectable and the conversation engaging.  After midnight our host suggested that we share our thoughts from 2015 and our plans for 2016. We were tasked to answer three questions:  For what are you most grateful from 2015? What do you wish for yourself in 2016?  What do you wish for others in 2016?

It was interesting to hear the replies.  In some ways, we know each other pretty well so the answers were not surprising, yet everyone had specific personal items reflecting their individuality. The thing that struck me was that the question of wishes for ourselves and others was not mutually exclusive or at least not by the answers of our friends.  

What we desire most for ourselves is what would help others.  Not that we are such self-less people. Rather, I think that it speaks to the paradox of  in losing our lives, (or death to our selfish selves), we find life (authentic living). 

It really is a balance.  I know some people who err on the side of doing so much for so many that they have lost their lives.  They are burnt out and have become shells of a person.  But with examination of their choices, it appears that they are not completely selfless. Their constant helping has become a pride thing.  It is not about helping others but more about adding another notch in the "isn't he so busy and selfless, I don't know how he does it" belt. 

For those who err on the side of self-absorption there is no room to help others.  These are the people who are really a bore.  I just finished reading an Alexander McCall Smith book.  In it he portrays a quite accurate, character study of a self-absorbed person.  This character was so enamored with his looks and behavior.  While he did provide a good foil and laugh, as can be expected, he was not the protagonist nor was he likable. 

When we are asked about what is one thing for ourselves in the new year, I would hope it is with self growth and development in mind. We do so, not for the sole purpose of our own adulation.  Our growth should aide us in our role for others and what we feel called to do.

In some ways it is like the old song, "let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."  How we respond in life should encourage others to respond likewise.  Our personal goals should align with our hopes and dreams for others.  Any change in the world needs to start with change and improvement in ourselves. 

How would you answer those questions?  For what are you grateful for 2015?  What would you like for yourself in 2016?  What would you like for others in 2016?

Fitbit

For Christmas our son gave me a Fitbit.  When I worked as a wellness director it was de rigueur for many of my colleagues to wear one.  I never did.  I have always been a proponent of including exercise into my daily routine and at the time, didn't think it was necessary, 

Well, I must say using it has been insightful and  a lot of fun.  I can see the appeal to the masses.  Especially any one who has any streak of competitiveness.   It provides instant feedback to any exercise or movement. 

For those of you who are not familiar, a Fitbit looks like a watch.  It is made from silicone/plastic material which is water resistant.  It needs to be placed on your wrist above your pisiform bone (bulgy bit on your pinky side of your wrist). Before you begin using the Fitbit you have to enter in your gender, height and weight.  The Fitbit will then continuously tell you how many steps you've taken, how many calories you have used, how many miles you have moved, and your heart rate.  There is even a component that can tell you your sleep quality and pattern (haven't tried that yet).

The thing is, I have been surprised to see that my perception of how much I move is skewed. On one hand, I am amazed at how much I move during the day, especially on the days when I am just "puttering" around the house. We live in a small, two story home but I have done miles just going up and down the stairs doing laundry and putting away the Christmas decorations. 

Yet, on the days that I am writing, I don't move that much.  This morning I have been busy writing.  Since putting on my Fitbit- a total of 44 steps!  That is it.  Part of me is glad that I am not up and down out of my seat like a yo-yo.  However, I can see the problem with the American workforce who is pretty much glued to a seat and computer screen.  Not much activity is taking place.  I am experiencing first hand, why It is so important for workers to take a break at least every 60-90 minutes and move around. 

I have also been surprised by my wanting to "improve" my score.  When you achieve 10,000 steps your Fitbit buzzes against your skin.  The other day, I made a couple extra trips to the basement just so that I could hit the 20,000 mark. 

The Fitbit is integrated with my smart phone.  There is an app for the Fitbit (no surprise there).  It shows charts of my progress and sends me little encouraging emails.  Just yesterday I received one, " Way to go!  You've climbed 25 floors.  The tallest trees on Earth can't top the heights you've been conquering.  It's no wonder you just earned the Redwood Forest badge!"  

Who writes this stuff?  Corny to be sure yet I am secretly pleased.  Who doesn't want to earn the Redwood Forest badge?  And of course, I don't have to let my achievements stop there.  I can even share my achievements with FaceBook and Twitter.  Frankly, for me that would be a little too much.  But, for someone who had an accountability partner or workout buddy that would be a great tool. 

So far my use of the Fitbit has led me to the following conclusions:

  1. You don't really know what you are doing until you measure it.  I would encourage you to measure your own activity level.  If you do not own a Fitbit there are free apps for your smartphone which can provide a general idea of steps taken or miles walked.  You can also jot down how many minutes you move or how many times you climb the stairs.  Whatever unit you might use to measure, you can find a conversion online.  For instance, 2,000 steps = 1 mile = 15 minutes walking.
  2. Everyone needs an "'atta-boy" or  "well done girl" compliment to whatever we are doing.  If you are trying to increase movement into your workday, give yourself a round of applause. Share your ideas and goals with a confident (spouse, friend, office worker) so that he/she can give you encouragement.  If you know someone who is trying to increase his/her own activity levels- encourage him/her.  Send encouraging texts. Ask how it's going.  Plan on celebrating once specific goals are met. 

What about you?  Did you receive any "exercise-type" equipment this holiday season?  What was it?  Have you used it?  Will you continue to do so?  Have you ever measured activities that you are doing?  For instance, do you know how much you move during the day?  Applying the principle to other matters, do you know how much time you take answering e-mails, checking FaceBook, watching television?

 

Voices

Ever have the battle between two voices in your head?  This is not the schizophrenic, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" type of voices but just the little things we tell ourselves that generally trip us up.  They are the voices of two differing opinions.

For instance, I have either the Nike "Just Do It"  or Scarlett O'Hara's voice "tomorrow is another day", clammering in my head especially when I have tasks that I am not too keen on beginning. 

In my immediate family this head battle appears to be played out especially in the realm of straightening and putting away household items.  There is the battery operated bicycle reflector that hasn't quite made it to the basement for a fresh battery.  There are the piles of extra Christmas cards that are making the room rounds.  There is the bag of to-be-recycled wine corks that are on their way to their final destination (back to the wine store) yet has somehow moved from kitchen to basement to bedroom.  

Scarlett's mindset is winning.  

In 2016 I plan on being more determined to finish what I start, when I start it.

Many years ago when I worked on a very busy and stressful oncology floor in the hospital I learned that if I had time to do some task, e.g. straighten a room for the next admission, I better do it when I thought about it.  If not, the time and thought would be long gone due to the next pressing event taking its place.  When I didn't accomplish something when I thought about it, I would regret the time lost.

So many times I have not felt like straightening up only to have someone stop by unexpected or I am asked about an item at the bottom of one of my floating piles.  Either way  I am caught unawares and realize that had I only taken care of what I needed to do at the time it needed to be done, I wouldn't feel frazzled.

I have heard that one of the Montessori school program tenets  is to encourage children to learn how to pick up after themselves.  If a preschooler gets out another toy, he/she has to put away the first toy with which he/she was playing.  

Clean up after yourself as you go along.  Not a bad philosophy.

Some time management/organizing gurus suggest taking fifteen minutes each day to put away miscellaneous and stray items.  Keep a basket on each floor of your home.  Anything that is found during the day that is not in its normal place and needs to be returned to its "home" is placed in the basket.  At a specific time during the day (before dinner or bedtime) take fifteen minutes to return the items to its proper location.  

Next time I will unlock the basement door, open it and put the recycling into its container rather than walking past the pile of papers on the floor by the door.  All it takes is a few extra seconds to be done and finished.  Why, I don't do it at the time, I have no idea.

What about you?  Any small, niggling tasks that you tell yourself "tomorrow is another day" and you will start tomorrow?  How long has that conversation been exchanged?  What is preventing you?  Is the task overwhelming?  Would doing one small thing get you started?  Are you too tired to start? 

What refrains are playing through your head?